


Double Life

by chrono96



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, High School Crush, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, definitely a SLOW burn so beware, takes place right after the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2018-11-30 13:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 89,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11464479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrono96/pseuds/chrono96
Summary: After the take down of the Vulture and the absence of his long-time crush Liz, life gets extremely boring for Peter. But after accidentally discovering MJ's big secret, he forms an unexpected crush on the girl in school that hates him the most.





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Huge fan of Spider-Man and all of the characters/actors in Homecoming! So I thought I would start a short story delving deeper into "that look" Michelle gave him at the end of the movie, and what it could form into at some point.

“So you’re saying Tony Stark offered you a new and improved suit, a spot in the Avengers, a room in the new facility, and...you turned it _down?!”_ Ned gasps and stops walking in the middle of the hallway, people rushing and pushing past them in a frenzy to get to class.

“Ned, will you be quiet?” Peter looks around frantically, clenching his jaw with nerves as he grabs his arm, dragging him into the nearest empty classroom. He breathes in deeply, making sure no one else is in the room as he pushes his hair back with his fingers. “Look, I’m just...I’m not ready. Yeah I can climb walls and stop a train with my bare hands, but mentally...mentally I guess I am still a kid. I can be Spider-Man forever after this, but I can only be here in high school for two more years. I wanna enjoy that, you know?”

“Okay, two days ago you were ready to leave high school behind forever,” Ned furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head with a quizzical look.

“Yeah, but that was before I almost got killed by a flying robot thingy,” Peter shakes his head, crossing his arms. “I’m still Spider-Man. I’m not giving that up, or the suit up, or saving people up. But for now...I’m both Peter Parker _and_ Spider-Man.”

“Wow,” Ned nods, rubbing his chin. “That was actually a very superhero-like line.”

“Shut up,” Peter laughs, shaking his head. “Now we have to get to class - I can’t be late again or Aunt May _and_ Principal Morita are going to kick my ass.”

“Hey, that rhymed!”

* * *

 

“Dude, is Michelle…” Ned whispers, looking over at her across the classroom halfway through chemistry class. Peter turns and glances at her, unsure of what he’s looking for quite yet. She has her arms crossed on the desk in front of her, and her chin is resting on them. “Watching a Spider-Man video?”

Peter had been scanning her clothes, trying to spot something extremely “not her” (like a bright neon green, for example, although she would probably wear something like that to prove people wrong anyway), but then he looked at her computer screen. Sure enough, he could make out the red and blue suit, and see himself crawling up the Washington Monument. It was obviously shot on a cellphone from the ground, the camera shaking as the person ran around to catch a better glimpse of Spider-Man crawling up the building.

He sits up slightly, still a little weirded out by the sudden fame he (well, Spider-Man) is getting. To see all of these kids he grew up with thinking he’s awesome, a hero. Although it is a bit alarming to see Michelle of all people watching it since he figured she probably thought the whole “man in a costume” thing is completely lame. And this also may be the first time he’s seen her and she’s _not_ reading a book.

She abruptly shuts her laptop, which instantly snapped him back to reality. She turns and looks at them with narrowed eyes, as if she somehow had heard their thoughts and was annoyed by it. They both quickly turn to the teacher and pretend like they weren’t looking at her, scratching their necks and not-so-discreetly trying to hide their faces.

“She’s going to kill us in our sleep,” Ned whispers, breathing in deeply.

“Shhh, she’s still looking,” Peter knocks his shoulder with his own, trying to pretend nothing happened. He can see her look away from the corner of his eye, and he finally breathes out.

* * *

 

“That was kind of weird earlier, wasn’t it?” Peter asks, finally voicing what’s been on his mind for the past few hours. “I just...I get the feeling Michelle knows. About me being Spider-Man, I mean.”

“How could she possibly know?” Ned momentarily pauses putting a grey lego in place on the halfway-built deathstar _again_ (this is their third time building it), and looks at Peter. “I think you’re paranoid. Besides, I don’t even try to imagine what’s going on in MJ’s mind anymore. She’s on like, a different planet than us sometimes.”

“Yeah, but she’s so smart, and...and even _she_ admitted she was observant,” He rubs his hands together nervously, scared of what could happen if she - well, _anyone_ \- knew about his other life.

“Well, so what if she does know? If she wanted to tell, she would have already,” Ned shrugs, continuing his former task. “Besides, I think you’re overthinking. She probably doesn’t even know anything at all, and she just wanted to relive the moment where the Spider-Man saved all of her friends from an untimely death.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Peter nods, not so interested in building the deathstar anymore. He leans back against his bedroom wall, realizing he’s doing what he always does, and looking way too into things. She looked over at them - so what? She must have known they were watching. He would probably give someone the same look if he noticed them staring at him in class.

So he laughs and shakes his head, thinking about how absurd he’s being. New York City is a _huge_ place, so there’s probably not even one person in his entire school that’s even suspicious of him - observant or not. He’s just being paranoid like always.

“So do you think we can finish this thing tonight?” He grabs a lego piece, letting go of his worry and forcing himself to stop being so paranoid all the time.


	2. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to make the chapters a little longer when I start updating bi-weekly :)
> 
> (Also, I wrote it to where Aunt May didn't figure out he's Spider-Man at the end)

“What?” Michelle asks, finally turning to look at Peter after his multiple glances at her during lunch. She’s sitting at the end of the table reading, like always. “Why do you keep looking over here at me?”

“Oh, I, uh...” Peter breathes out, trying to think of something to say. He thought he had been decently discreet, but apparently not. He probably looks super creepy right now, even though he was just hoping his spidey senses would maybe pick up on how she was feeling. If she knew, she would have to show some sort of sign, right?

“Do I have a bug on my face or what?” She asks, narrowing her eyes in confusion and lowering her book. “Actually, that would be cool. Do I?”

“He was actually just looking at your book,” Ned cuts in, laughing nervously and elbowing Peter in the side. “Right, Peter?”

“Yeah, yeah, I think I may have read it before,” Peter nods, rubbing the back of his neck. He feels like she can just look at people and know every single secret they’ve ever kept, and it’s a little unsettling. “Or something.”

“Oh yeah?” She asks, holding up the book so they can read the title. “Women, Race, and Class” was the name of it, and the author was Angela Y. Davis. 

“Maybe...not?” His voice gets higher, and she rolls her eyes, continuing to read it.  He and Ned look at each other, and then eat the rest of their lunch in silence. 

* * *

 

“Peter it’s time for dinner!” His aunt yells from the kitchen. 

“Coming, May!” He yells back, setting his web shooters in his drawer and shutting it. 

He goes in the kitchen and sits down at the dinner table across from her, looking down at his plate of slightly-burnt lasagna. 

“How was school today? Anything interesting happen?” She asks, looking at him but moving her fork around her food. 

“Uh, not really,” He shrugs, actually telling the truth for once.

He’s gotten so bored to death of not doing anything meaningful anymore. Yeah, he goes out as Spider-Man still after school and helps a few people here and there, but it doesn’t feel  _ important.  _ He doesn’t feel like he’s really making a difference at all, and it’s starting to get discouraging. Especially since he knows he can.

Maybe it would be different if he hadn’t taken down the biggest arms dealer in New York, but now that he has, everything else is a bit of a letdown in comparison. 

“That’s all I get? “Not really”?” She laughs a little, setting down her fork and looking at him in concern. “Can you at least tell me where you’ve been going after school? You don’t get home until dark, and I know you’re not working for Stark anymore, so…”

“I told you, I’ve just been going to Ned’s,” He laughs a little, always feeling an extreme pang of guilt hit him when he lies to her. “The s-”

“The science project, yeah, I know,” She sighs, and he knows that she knows he’s lying. 

“How about I blow him off tomorrow and we go watch a movie and get ice cream?” He smiles as her face brightens, and she extends her hand. 

“Deal,” She laughs, and they shake on it. “And you better not bail on me, okay? I miss my Petey.” She sticks her bottom lip out, reaching across the table to pinch his cheek. 

“May, come on,” He laughs, rolling his eyes. A part of it is comforting though; knowing that he can fight off villains and get beat up and save someone’s life, but then still be able to come home and get babied and fed and loved. It feels very normal-kid-his-age-like, and that’s something he still needs every now and then.

“Fine, fine,” She backs off, laughing. “Tell me about your love life. Anyone special?”

“My love life?” He makes a disgusted face, shaking his head. “No, no way. I mean, Liz moved, and...I don’t know. I think it might take awhile to get over her.”

“I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but someone will come along one day and you’ll forget all about her,” She nods and smiles sweetly, patting his hand gently. “Man, I wish I could feel the exhilaration of having a high school crush again.”

“Gross,” Peter laughs, scrunching his nose.

“Hey, I’m allowed love too, you know,” She laughs and tosses a kitchen towel at him. 

“Yeah, I know, I know,” He sighs, taking a bite of his lasagna. Then, with a full mouth: “I just don’t wanna think about it for too long.”

* * *

The next day is just another normal Thursday. He rides the subway, gets to school and meets up with Ned at the lockers, then goes to class. What he  _ really  _ wants is to get in his suit and swing around New York helping people. He knows it’s where he’s supposed to be, but he also knows that he’s going to regret wasting his teen years on wishing he was off somewhere else, instead of enjoying the present and being a kid. 

Plus he promised he’d spend time with May today, so he can’t.

“Dude, are you listening to me?” Ned bumps his arm, getting his attention and pulling him from his daydream. 

“What? Yeah, of course,” Peter laughs, pretending like he had heard everything. “You were talking about the uh…”

“...About decathlon practice after school today. Betty said to tell you that Flash said Michelle wanted you to know that it was cancelled today. She didn’t say why.” Ned shrugs, walking with him to his locker, finally getting a lunch break. 

“Oh okay, thanks,” Peter replies, not really surprised by it. She’s done this at least once every two weeks since she’s become the team captain, so everyone’s stopped being curious about it and started being happy they get a short brain break instead. 

“Do you ever wonder what that’s about?” Ned asks as they walk to the cafeteria, trailing behind a swarm of other students that are doing the same. “What does she do?”

“I have no idea,” Peter sighs, pulling the strap of his backpack tighter. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

“If I didn’t know better I’d say that  _ she’s  _ Spider-Man,” Ned laughs at his own joke, and Peter looks at the floor and laughs along with him. “Well, Spider-woman,” He corrects himself, and they both grab a tray and slide it down the cafeteria line. “You know, she’s all mysterious and disappearing all the time. Kinda suspicious if you ask me.”

“Or maybe she just gets sick easily and you’re looking way into it,” Peter laughs, grabbing a milk carton and placing it on his tray. 

“Dude you’re so boring,” Ned sighs and shakes his head, and they make their way to find a lunch table. 

Michelle isn’t at the table, or in the cafeteria, and Peter assumes she may not even be at school at all today. He is starting to get a little curious where she’s at all of these days that she’s absent. 

He wonders if maybe people think the same about him.


	3. Spotted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the wonderful feedback! It means a lot :)

“Wow, that was bad,” Peter shakes his head, holding the door open for the people pouring out of the theater behind them. It was some weird movie that they had never even heard of, but all of the showings for the decent movies were sold out so they just went into that one. Two full hours of boring and weird and bad acting.

“Well, it wasn't _great,”_ May sighs as they walk down the busy New York street. “But you have to remember that someone put all of their time, money, and creative energy into it. So that counts for something, even though it maybe wasn't our cup of tea. And I got to spend time with you, and that's what matters. Hotdog?”

“Yeah, sure,” he laughs as they approach a hotdog stand.

“How many?” The worker asks, his thick Queens accent dripping from his words.

“Two please, one fully dressed the other just mustard and ketchup,” She smiles, holding her two fingers up. His is the one with only mustard and ketchup, and she eats it with onions and pickles and anything else you can imagine. Gross.

So they pay for the food and find a bench, watching people and talking as they eat their hotdogs. He has to admit, it's pretty nice to be able to just relax for once. Although he is sort of worried that he'll see someone in danger, and he won't be able to save them. He hates that he can’t stop thinking about anything other than putting his suit on.

“So what's on your mind?” She asks, putting her arm around him and smiling.

“Not much,” He shrugs, rubbing his hands together slowly. “I’m glad we did this though. I, uh, guess I’ve been so busy that I forgot I needed a break.”

“Aw, I'm glad too,” She smiles, ruffling his hair. He groans and immediately reaches up to start fixing it. “Oh, I’m sorry, I know how much time you spend on this in the morning. Let me-” She starts to say, tucking pieces of his hair back, but he’s already distracted by something else.

He sees...Michelle. Well, MJ. (He’s still trying to get used to the nickname)

“Hey May, do you mind going and getting us some ice cream?” He asks, but he’s still staring at MJ, who’s walking the sidewalk opposite of them.

She’s wearing her usual all-black outfit, her dark, curly hair is in her face, and she’s carrying two beach bags that are completely full of something that he can’t make out. Taxi’s are beeping and zooming past, and he can’t hear or think or imagine _why_ she has beach bags full of an unknown item (or items) in them. And where is she going? She keeps looking around like she’s paranoid of something, too. He’s wondering if maybe Ned was right in some way. Obviously she isn’t Spider-Man, but what if she has some deep, dark secret of her own? She’s always been mysterious, but this seems more than just a characteristic.

“Oh sure, what flavor?” Aunt May asks, and he gulps and looks up at her for a moment, unsure of what to do.

“Um, anything is fine. Hey, I’ll be right back,” He replies, already getting up and running, not wanting to miss the “WALK” sign across the street. “I think I see someone from school.”

“Oh, okay. Be careful! And tell them I say hi!” She yells after him, as he runs to catch up to MJ. He finally makes it across the street, getting honked at multiple times on the way.

“Excuse me, sorry,” He says about fifteen times while he makes his way through the crowd of people, trying to spot her again. He wants to help her; maybe grab one of her heavy-looking bags and then she might explain what’s going on. But he knows before he even does it that it’s probably a bad idea. She stays kept to herself, and to this day he still doesn’t know much about her. There’s no _way_ she would just out of the blue tell him what she’s doing, especially if it’s secretive.

That doesn’t exactly matter now anyway, because even though he kept running and pushing through people, he couldn’t find her again. So he gives up and sighs, deciding to go back before May worries herself to death.

* * *

“I _told_ you she was up to something weird!” Ned gasps through the phone, and Peter hears his mom “shh” him in the background. “Sorry mom. Anyway, what do you think is in the bags? What did it look like she was up to?”

“I don’t know,” Peter sighs, laying on his bottom bunk bed and looking up at the top one. He moves his hand from behind his head to laying it flat on his chest, thinking.

“You have to use your resources,” Ned assures him, as serious as ever. “I have to know her secret. I’m too curious now to turn back.”

“Our resources? What resources?” Peter asks, slightly confused.

“Not _our_ resources, _your_ resources,” He corrects him, exasperated that Peter hadn’t figured out the meaning himself. “You’re Spider-Man, dude,” Ned lowers his voice to a whisper, and Peter rolls his eyes and laughs. “If anyone can go undercover and investigate, it’s you.”

“I don’t want to use the suit for my own gain, Ned, I told you that,” He sits up, walking over to look out his window. He’s whispering now too, hearing all of the sounds of the city coming from the slightly-cracked window. “Plus, it’s not fair to her. She’s entitled to have her own secrets. I wouldn’t want someone following me around and getting in my business either, you know?” He chews the inside of his cheek, suddenly thinking about what they’re saying. “And it’s really creepy!”

“God, why do you have to be so good all the time? Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow, mom’s trying to watch a movie and she’s getting mad. Bye!” He says quickly, before hanging up. Peter sighs and goes back to his bed, plopping down on it.

He has to admit to himself that all of this _has_ piqued his interest a little. He’s known forever that MJ is slightly strange and mysterious and that she disappears often, but he’s always been so caught up with Liz that he never fully noticed that it really is curious. Where does she go? What does she do?

He suddenly gets hit with a thought: what if she’s a criminal? What if he’s swinging around New York one day, fighting crime in his Spidey suit, and he happens upon her stealing something or drug dealing or doing something else illegal? He shakes the thought away. Yeah, she’s different, but there’s no way that a classmate he’s had for _years_ can be a criminal.

 _Although…._ he’s able to hide a big secret too, and no one has figured out yet. What if she _is_ doing something illegal, and she _is_ a criminal?

No, there’s no way. She can’t be. It’s not even possible, and he feels crazy for even thinking about it.

But then again…

Nope. He refuses to even consider it, because it’s completely ridiculous. I mean yeah, he doesn’t really know her very well, or know her hobbies, or know what she does after school, but still. The only reason his mind went to her being a criminal is because he’s Spider-Man and he _looks_ for that sort of thing.

...Right?

* * *

 

“Look, dude, I’m not saying _stalk_ her, I’m just saying, you know...follow her a few blocks and see where she goes. That’s it!” Ned argues, and Peter has to _keep_ “shhing” him because they’re in the middle of the school hallway again. He has no concept of a private conversation whatsoever.

“So you’re saying don’t stalk her but...stalk her.” Peter shakes his head laughing a little at the ridiculousness of it.

He had stayed up a little longer than normal trying to think of what it was she could be doing. Nothing very realistic came to mind, especially not something that he can imagine MJ doing for recreational purposes. It’s sort of hard to imagine her doing _anything_ other than reading a book, really.

He feels a bit bad for all of this anyway, since he’s gone to school with her all these years and can’t think of one thing other than reading that she enjoys. And then there’s also the whole “coming up with smart-ass one-liners that shock the entire room” gift she seems to enjoy. Other than that, he can’t remember her really talking about herself or about her personal life at all. Or maybe he just wasn’t listening.

“No, it’s not _stalking,_ Peter. Stalking is finding out where they live and peeping through their window, or following them to their car at night, or saving their pictures and using them as your background picture on your phone.” Ned explains, shrugging as they go through the cafeteria line in their daily robot-like routine. “This is...this is really us just trying to make sure our friend is safe, is all.”

“You’re delusional,” Peter laughs, thanking the lunch lady as she slams a slab of an unknown casserole on the tray in front of him.

“I prefer imaginative,” Ned shrugs proudly, and they both laugh as they make their way to the table.

“Is she not here again today?” Peter asks, looking around and trying to spot her. He doesn't see her.

“She's somewhere,” Ned replies, taking a bite of the casserole. “Saw her in third period.”

“Oh,” Peter nods, tapping his finger against the table, leaving his food untouched. He feels weird and anxious, like maybe she saw him yesterday and she's going to come and confront him any second. “Hey, Ned?”

“What?” Ned asks, a mouthful of food making his words barely even comprehensible.

“Do you, uh, think we're sort of...jerks? Maybe?” Peter asks, sighing and pushing his casserole around aimlessly with his fork.

“I mean yeah, but in what way are _you_ talking about?” Ned continues eating his food, completely unfazed by something that's actually bothering Peter.

“It's just that…I don't know, we've seen her almost every day for the past few _years,_ and we can't even think of _one_ thing that she could be doing. We don't even know her at all. It's kind of bad if you think about it.” He admits, now feeling a bit guilty.

“Yeah, maybe you're right,” Ned stops and thinks, then shrugs. “But she doesn't really seem like she wants people to know anything about her. I think she makes a point to _not_ let people figure her out.”

“Maybe it's because no one ever tries to,” Peter shrugs, finally picking up a tater tot and eating it. “I think we should.”

“Dude, she _hates_ us,” Ned leans in and whispers, confused.

Then MJ herself walks up to the other side of the table and sighs, not even looking up at them as she slings her backpack on the table and immediately starts reading her book. No words or greetings.

Maybe Ned’s right. But Peter wants to try anyway.


	4. Revealed

“So we have decathlon practice today, right?” Peter asks, giving a friendly smile at MJ. She’s still deep in her book, her legs now propped up on the chair beside her.

He isn’t sure if she’s ignoring him, or just didn’t hear him. So he asks again, a little louder. She turns her head and looks at him with narrowed eyes, glaring at him like he had just hit a puppy.

Ned’s looking around aimlessly, trying to make it clear to her that he has no part in this.

“Why don’t you say it a third time for good measure?” She crosses her arm, leaning back in her chair. So she _was_ ignoring him.

He rubs his sweaty hands on his pant-leg (why are they sweaty?) while his smile fades from her comment. He knows she may have a tough outer shell, but he’s determined to get through it.

“Well, I was just wondering, uh, if, you know...” He shrugs a little, struggling to find the right words. She’s doing that thing where she’s looking at him with narrowed eyes, staring at him like she would rather be doing anything else in the entire world right now. It’s unnerving.

“Yeah, practice is on today,” She nods, turning back to her book. He opens his mouth again, about to ask if maybe she had been sick yesterday, but he decides better of it. She doesn’t seem at all interested in what he has to say, so annoying her will drive her even further away. He tries to think of other ways to approach this while he eats the mystery casserole.

* * *

“So what are you reading now?” Peter asks, rubbing his hands together awkwardly as they wait for the rest of the students to get to practice.

Without looking up, she lifts her book so he can read the cover. It’s “Dreams From My Father” by Barack Obama.

“Oh hey, I’ve actually been wanting to read that,” He nods, smiling. “I, uh, heard it was really good. It’s been on my list for a while now and-”

“-Borrow it, then,” She closes it, and hands it to him. She then immediately grabs another book from her bag and starts reading it.

“Well if you’re still reading it then I don’t want to take it,” He looks down at the cover then back up at her, a little stunned. He feels like he’s being extremely annoying, but he has no idea what else to do to try and get to know her. It feels impossible.

“I finished it as you were saying that,” She looks at him for a moment, then looks away again, scanning her eyes at record-speed over the lines of words. “It was my third time reading it anyway.”

“Whoa,” He laughs, pressing his hand to the front cover of the book. “That good?”

“Relatively,” She replies, sighing. She does that a lot. He wonders if it’s because she’s annoyed, or she’s just thinking. He can’t really tell.

“So you like to read a lot then?” He asks, already knowing it was a stupid question to ask before he even asked it. She shoots him a look that silently says “are you serious?”

“Got it,” He nods, tapping his thumb on the front of the book and breathing out.

He’s trying to think of something else to say, when suddenly the bell rings. Michelle puts her book back in her bag, throws it over her shoulder, and then walks over to stand in the team captain’s spot. Soon after the rest of the students pour in, and Peter can’t help but feel like he made at least a _little_ bit of progress with getting to know her. That was pretty much the most he’s ever heard her talk at once, besides as being the team captain, of course, but he isn’t sure that counts. He’s glad she finally _talked_ to him though, even if he did make himself look like an idiot in the process.

“How’d it go?” Ned mouths from his spot in the corner, where he had been playing games on his phone. He looked up at them every few minutes, though, just to make sure MJ wasn't going to kill Peter for taking up her reading time.

Peter just shrugged a little, not really even knowing himself if it went well or not.

“I'll start with science today,” Michelle announces when everyone gets a seat, pulling out her cards of Q & A’s from her bag. “What is the scientific name for perentie?”

Peter presses on his buzzer immediately, and everyone turns and looks at him.

“Uh...Varnus giganteus?” He replies, saying it more like a question than an answer.

“Correct,” She looks up at him for a moment, but as soon as they make eye contact she quickly looks away again.

“Next question. How do you calculate density?”

* * *

He wishes he would have just taken another day off from being Spider-Man. It started out well; he helped an old woman get her mail, and retrieved a mini beach ball for a kid that had lost it. And it’s only been an hour since he’s gotten out of school.

He couldn’t find anything else after that, so he went and sat on the top of building and dangled his legs off, watching for something else he could do until it got dark out. Then he got bored, so he thought about his day, and then the mini beach ball reminded him of beach bags, which reminded him of MJ, which made him curious again as to what could be in those bags she was carrying. He tried to think of _anything,_ but there was not one thing he could imagine her having in those heavy-looking bags. (well, besides books, but he knows it wasn’t that because he can always see the outline of books through her backpack)

So he swings to the next building, and then next, and he ends up in that same spot he and Aunt May were yesterday when he spotted her. It’s around the same time now that he saw her yesterday, too.

“I’m not here for her, and I’m not stalking her,” He tells himself, even though his eyes are searching through all of the people trying to spot her. “There’s a _ton_ of crime that happens around here. Like, a ton. And I’m Spider-Man! If I see her, I see her, but I’m not going to look for h - hoooooly shit.”

He stands up, seeing her again. She’s wearing the same thing she wore today at school, so he guesses she left right after he did. But what had she been doing? Where is she going? And she has those bags again, too.

His heart is racing in his ears, which he fully and consciously knows is _completely_ ridiculous, because he doesn’t even _know_ her.

“I’m not a stalker, and I’m not stalking,” He breathes in, walking along the building to keep up with her. He tries to stay low and out of sight in case she looks up and sees him. Not that she’d know who it was, or even think that Spider-Man was following her, but still. It’s that whole “I’m pretty sure Michelle can see right through anything” feeling again, that he doesn’t want to prove right at the worst possible time. “This is official Spider-Man business. Just making sure she isn’t a criminal, is all.”

So he keeps following her. She walks through a few dark, scary alleys, and he suddenly gets concerned, and he’s getting ready to jump down and save her any moment.

She makes a few turns, and he makes a few swings, and then he sees her look around her to make sure no one is watching, before she walks into a building he’s never even _seen_ before. He’s even more curious now, and a little weirded out because it looks a little terrifying from the outside. Making sure she’s inside first, he jumps down to the ground, and (somewhat) sneakily walks around the building, looking for a window to catch a peek through.

He finds a few on the right side of the building, but they’re completely boarded up. If he didn’t know before, he does now: this place is abandoned. Rarely anything good ever happens in abandoned buildings. What could she be doing?

His heart starts racing even more then, and he gulps as he scours the rest of the building for anything he can use to see in. He feels more nervous now than he did fighting the friggin’ Vulture.

He finally gets to the back of the building and sees a few windows. He tries the first and second but they’re boarded up. The third one, though, has a small crack between the boards. He takes a deep breath, preparing himself for the worst. So he takes his mask off, leans in and presses his face to it, closing one eye to get a better look with the other.

He sees a fire first. In a fire pit actually, in the middle of the big, empty building. Then he see a few people in chairs sitting around it, and it takes him a second to even _recognize_ MJ sitting there, because she’s smiling. A huge smile actually, and he’s never even seen her give a real, genuine smile ever, he’s pretty sure. She’s sitting down in a lawn chair, unloading her bags. She laughs as a little girl jumps on her lap and hugs her, and she hugs back before saying something and then continuing to unload her bag.

She first takes out a bag of fruit and vegetables, and hands it to an older man on her right. There’s probably twenty or thirty people, including children, that Peter can see.

She then reaches in her bag again, handing them three or four grocery bags full of food. Cans, pre-packaged sandwiches, bowls of salad, and a huge bag of cookies that look homemade. They’re all talking and laughing, and she now reaches in her other bag, shrugging off their thank you’s. She’s still smiling.

She then pulls out a few t-shirts, handing them to various people around the room. Peter can tell from the bags that they’re from a thrift store up the street, but they don’t seem to mind that at all.

She has all sizes of t-shirts: big, small, nice, casual. And then she gets to the bottom of the bag, and pulls out a pink princess shirt for the little girl. He can’t hear what they’re saying, but the girl throws her arms around her and gasps in surprise. All of their faces are lit up from the fire, which is the only source of light in the building.

Peter steps back from the window, still shocked at what he had just seen. She spends the entire second half of her day feeding and clothing the homeless. How could he have ever thought she could be a criminal? She’s just like he is; she wants to genuinely help people, even if that means they don’t get recognition for it. It’s not what he they get out of it, it’s just the right thing to do.

Maybe Ned was right. Well, she’s not Spider-Man exactly (okay, Spider-Woman), but she’s a superhero in her own way, without even requiring superpowers to do it.

So he slides his back down the side of the building, with a huge cheek-aching smile plastered on his face. After all the crime and hate he’s seen for the past few months, this is something he didn’t realize he needed. Something that reminds him that people really are _good._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, the truth is out! This is something I felt she would really do, so I hope everyone else feels the same :)


	5. Sharing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was late! I had a lot going on today, so thank you for your patience. 
> 
> Reply to ao3 user neumann: Sorry for the late reply, but when I say "bi-weekly" I mean two times a week :) But I decided I will update three times a week now instead of two: Monday's, Wednesday's, and Friday's. The chapters will be longer too, so I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Thanks again for everyone's support!

“Dude, seriously, what’s up with you today?” Ned asks, bumping Peter’s arm on the way to their second class.

“Uh, nothing,” Peter shrugs and pulls on the strap of his backpack, looking away. Ned can always tell when he’s lying.

He decided immediately not to tell Ned about what he saw yesterday. He really, really wants to; actually, he’s _dying_ to, but he would hate it if someone had found out _his_ secret and told people about it. It’s not fair, and he can’t morally bring himself do it.

He spent the night tossing and turning, thinking about what he had seen earlier that day. How could he have gotten her so wrong? He can’t believe he had misjudged her _that_ much. He felt bad about it last night (hence the lack of sleep), and he feels bad about it now. And he isn’t sure what to do to fix it.

He really wants to help. He wants to go with her one day after school and help her buy food and clothes, and he wants to meet all of these people she seems to have grown to love. But he can’t. First off, he isn’t even _close_ to MJ. Not even a little. And although he’s trying to, she doesn’t seem interested in being his friend, really. And the second thing is that even if they _were_ close friends, it was Spider-Man who saw her go, not Peter Parker.

He hates the spot he’s in right now. Hates it. What can he even do? He can’t act any differently towards her because she’ll know something’s up. She’s extremely observant, and she has demonstrated that several times. He has no idea what to do.

“Oh, because that was so believable,” Ned shakes his head, and they sit down at their unassigned assigned desks. “Look, if it’s Spider-Man stuff I totally get it, but dude, I’m your best friend and-”

“Ned, it’s not-” Peter starts, unsure of how to deal with this. On one hand, he wants to keep MJ’s secret because it’s the right thing to do. On the other hand, Ned is his _best friend._ Plus, it was his idea in the first place to see what she was up to. “I’ll tell you after school, okay? Let’s just...let’s just not talk about it for now.”

“Fine,” Ned puts his hands up in defeat, sighing. “I’m just saying, if it were me, I would _so_ be telling you first, like immed-”

Then the bell rings, and Peter lowers his head to rest on his arms, looking out the window and sighing.

* * *

He’s actually nervous to see MJ. He isn’t sure why. Maybe it’s the whole “I followed her” thing and he feels guilty about it, as he should. Or maybe it’s the “I suddenly know something huge about you that you probably don’t want me to know and I have to pretend like I _don’t_ know it” aspect of things. Either way, it’s enough nerves to make his foot tap incessantly on the ground as he sees her approach their lunch table.

“Sup, losers?” She utters in a bored tone, before sitting down and already reading a _different_ book than yesterday.

“Hey, MJ,” Peter laughs a little and rubs his hands together, then clears his throat and scratches his neck awkwardly. He realizes immediately how weird it was, and apparently so did Ned.

“Dude,” Ned whispers, covering his hand over the side of his mouth that MJ’s on (not like she’s paying attention to them anyway, but still). He keeps glancing between her and Peter, making sure she isn’t looking. “You figured it out, didn’t you? That’s why you’re acting so weird!”

“Shut up!” Peter mouths to him, widening his eyes and clenching his jaw.

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” MJ asks suddenly, and they both turn their heads to her, gulping.

“What?” Peter laughs the most obviously fake laugh probably in history, before shrugging and waving her off in the most awkward way possible. “Nothing. We were just...you know...hey, is there actually water fountains in the girls’ bathroom? I mean, it could be just a rumor, but-”

“Peter has a dentist appointment after school today,” Ned laughs, reaching over the table to cover Peter’s mouth with his hand to shut him up. “He’s just a little nervous, is all. Has a big phobia. He just doesn’t want Flash to find out, you know, because he’d probably never hear the end of it. That’s what we were whispering about.”

Peter feels a small bit of relief at that, even though MJ is looking between them with skeptical eyes. He feels uneasy for a few moments after that, but when he looks at her, all he can see is her around that fire, grinning and loving and bonding with people. And he sighs then, not so nervous anymore. She isn’t as tough and hard as she pretends to be, and he knows that for sure now.

“I know you’re lying, but I don’t care enough to interrogate you about it,” She shrugs, and with that, turns back to her book.

* * *

He wants to try and talk to her again before decathlon practice starts, but she doesn’t arrive until the bell rings. She was probably trying to avoid him.

Practice goes on as usual, and although he wants to Spidey it up so badly after school, he already promised Ned he would hang out with him and tell him what happened. He already regrets telling him he would.

“So? What is it?” Ned grins eagerly, sitting on the floor of Peter’s room as Peter hangs from the ceiling with his feet. “Wait, let me guess. Is she like, some assassin? No wait, she has a coven doesn’t she? God, that would be cool. No, I’ve got it-”

“Stop, Ned,” Peter sighs, dropping down to sit across from him on the floor. “It’s not what we thought at all.”

“Okay? Well are you going to tell me or not?” Ned asks, leaning in and smiling anxiously. “Dude, I’m dying.”

“Before I tell you you have to _promise_ you won’t tell anyone,” Peter looks at him seriously, breathing in. “Nobody. Not even one person.”

“God, is it that bad?” He laughs a little, but Peter groans. “Fine, fine, of course. I promise I won’t tell anyone, okay? Now tell me.”

“Okay,” Peter sighs, trying to think of where to start. "Um, so I was just doing my usual, you know, Spidey thing. Well I accidentally stumbled on the same spot me and May were at the other day when we saw her. You know, like, just out of the blue. Anyway, luckily I saw her again. And we happened to be, um, going the same way, you know? But then she started going down a few scary alleys, so I got sort of worried. So I...I followed her. Just for a little while, to make sure everything was okay. Well then she got to this dark, abandoned building, and went inside."

"Oh my God, it is the coven thing isn't it? I knew it, I-" Ned starts, but Peter interrupts.

"No, it's not a coven, Ned," He laughs, taking in a deep breath. "She's...she's been feeding and clothing the homeless. There's a whole bunch of them in that building, and she goes and visits them and takes them stuff."

"...What?" Ned whispers, dumbfounded. "MJ? Michelle? Are we talking about the same person?"

"Yeah, it's her," Peter nods, laughing a little. "She was so happy, Ned, I had never seen anything like it. She was hugging the kids and handing out shirts and food, and homemade cookies and-" He stops himself, because his cheeks are hurting from smiling so much. He clears his throat and purposely wipes the smile from his face, suddenly a little embarrassed by his involuntary burst of happiness. "But yeah. That's where she goes. And I looked it up, and every day she's missed decathlon practice is when that thrift store she gets clothes from has a huge sale."

"Uh, stalk much?" Ned laughs, a little confused by Peter's sudden interest in it all.

"Okay, you were the one who, like, pressured me into it, so..." Peter crosses his arms, swallowing thickly.

"First of all, I didn't pressure you to do anything, and second of all, why are you getting so defensive?" Ned asks, narrowing his eyes with curiosity. Peter opens his mouth, but no words come out. Ned hesitates, then continues. "Anyway, I still can't believe MJ - the MJ who either ignores people or flips them off as a greeting - can be spending all of her time after school helping people. I mean...how?"

"I was sort of surprised too at first," Peter admits with a nod, silently full of relief that Ned had dropped his previous topic. "But seeing her face, seeing how she talked to those people...we just didn’t know her, is all."

“This is crazy,” Ned shakes his head, laughing in disbelief. “I mean...how are we ever going to look at her the same? She’s not even scary anymore! Well, a little, but not near as much.”

“Ned, you can’t act weird or anything,” Peter begs, now terrified of what could happen at lunch or in class because Ned sometimes has a hard time keeping secrets. “Seriously, you have to act normal or she’ll know something’s up.”

“I know, I know, I will,” Ned rolls his eyes, bored of having to keep another secret. “I kind of feel bad now, you know? That we know her secret, and we’re pretty much going to lie about it.”

“Oh, _now_ you see what’s wrong with it,” Peter groans, laying on the ground and staring up at the ceiling.

“At least it’s not a _bad_ secret, though. Like, we see her in a better light now than in a worse one,” Ned shrugs, tracing the side of Peter’s desk with his finger in boredom. “Most secrets aren’t like that.”

“Yeah,” Peter agrees, absentmindedly smiling a little as he thinks about it. When he realizes though, he wipes it away and breathes in, surprised by his own, sudden feelings. So he sits up, purposely trying to focus his mind on something else, anything else. “Do you want to order pizza or something?”

“Uh, is that even a question?”


	6. Accusations

The weekend so far is boring. Ned slept over on Friday night and they watched Star Wars, but besides that, although Peter knows he deserves a break from school and being Spider-Man sometimes, he still feels like when he lays around on the weekend he isn't doing enough. Not doing enough to be productive, not doing enough to help people, just...not doing  _ enough. _

“Dude, you’re in  _ high school,”  _ Ned sighs, probably annoyed with hearing Peter whine all night. “You don’t have to save the world, or solve world hunger. You’re fifteen, Peter, you have plenty of time for that stuff.”

“Yeah, but the people who need help  _ don’t  _ have time!” Peter sits up from his bed, pushing his hair back in frustration. 

“You aren't responsible for every person that needs help. You can't carry that sort of weight on you, or you're gonna get, like, sick,” Ned crosses his arms, trying to be assertive. “Seriously. I got so upset about that math test in fifth grade that my stomach was messed up for like, two weeks. Just from worry!” 

“I remember,” Peter laughs a little, shaking his head. 

“Well think about how much more serious this is than a stupid math test! You'll freaking die!” Ned replies dramatically, and Peter falls back on his bed, sighing. “Look, Peter, you do more for people in a  _ day  _ than us mere mortals get to do in a month. A year, even. And I know you want to do more, but even you said yourself: for now, you want to be Peter Parker  _ and  _ Spider-Man. So when you're Spider-Man, focus on that. But when you're Peter Parker, just be yourself and enjoy it. You shouldn't always have to have the Spider-Man mentality, okay?”

“Wow, that was deep,” Peter smiles a little, but he knows he's right. He can't seem to ever really be content with just being Peter Parker. 

“That psychology book I had to read in seventh grade is  _ finally  _ paying off,” Ned laughs, and they continue their Star Wars marathon. 

Ned leaves that evening, and Peter’s stuck in his room completely bored. One of the deals he made with himself when he turned down Tony’s offer was that the weekends were for Peter, not Spidey. He knows that there needs to be some sort of moderation to his double life, and that seemed like a good idea at the time. Now he  _ hates  _ it. So he decides that maybe he'll just go out for an hour or two. But he can't avoid his other responsibilities, so he decides he'll get a healthy amount of school work done, and  _ then  _ he'll go.

He hears Aunt May’s calming meditation music from his half-open bedroom door, and can smell the burning of candles wafting in behind it. 

He takes in a long, deep breath like she always tells him to, and leans over his bed to grab his backpack and finish his homework. And then, after that, he gets to be Spider-Man. That's always his motivation.

So he rifles through his backpack looking for his chemistry textbook, but then he stumbles upon the book MJ gave him to read, which he had forgotten all about. He picks it up and decides to read a few pages before he starts his homework.

But that's not what happens. He starts to get really into it, and hours pass and he knows he should put it down and start his homework, but he can't stop telling himself “just one more chapter and I'll stop.” And that one chapter leads to another, until Aunt May knocks on his door to tell him goodnight, and he's so startled that he almost falls off the bed. 

“You okay?” She asks, concern on her face as she pushes her glasses up a little higher on her nose.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” he laughs, blinking his eyes. He has to let his vision adjust a little since he had been staring at the pages for so long. “I'm just really into this.”

“I can tell,” she raises her eyebrow, smiling. “I'm glad. I haven't seen you reading like this in a while.”

“I think I forgot how much I loved it,” he breathes out a laugh, seeing he's already read a whole third of it. “Hey, what time is it?”

“About midnight,” she yawns, looking up from her watch. “I'm going to sleep. Don't stay up too much longer, okay?” She smiles at him, before walking out. “Love you!”

“Love you too!” He replies, then hears her shut her door. 

He fully gives up on getting his homework done tonight, so instead he goes to the kitchen to grab a snack, then gets back in bed and finishes the book. 

When he reads the last line and closes the book, setting it on his nightstand, he lays back down and stares up at his top bunk, smiling. He has a slight headache from focusing his eyes so hard for so long, but besides that, he feels...accomplished. Not in a superhero way, but he had just forgotten how much he used to love to read and to learn, and he can't believe such a big part of his life was given up when he became Spider-Man. 

The book was amazing, and he wishes he had someone to talk to about it. He wonders what all went through MJ’s mind when she read it. What were her opinions? Were they different all three times she read it? He wishes he knew. He also wishes he could read a thousand more books right now. 

But it's half past one now and he knows he needs to sleep, so he turns his lamp off and pulls his blanket up and over him, sighing. It takes hours to fall asleep.

* * *

“Just a second,” Peter interrupts Ned’s mouthful-of-food rant about the new Star Wars movies trailer. MJ’s walking to the table, expertly navigating her way through the cafeteria without even looking up from her book. 

He's been building up courage for this all morning, and planning exactly what he's going to say so that he doesn't look like a weirdo like he normally does. 

“Hey,” Peter smiles, gulping as he moves to the other side of the table to talk to her. She glances up at him for a second, then her eyes fall to her book that he's holding in his hand.

“Like it?” She asks, putting a fry in her mouth. 

“What?” He asks, confused. Then he follows her eyes, realizing. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I finished it last night. I loved it.”

She shrugs. 

“Don't worry - I didn't dog ear it or anything,” he laughs, trying to keep the conversation light. He taps his finger against the table. 

She doesn't reply. 

Not wanting the conversation to end, he speaks up again. He hates how weird he acts around her, just because he knows she thinks he's weird already. And so all it does is enforce that idea even more, no matter how hard he tries to act normal. There’s nothing quite like being ignored to make you feel like a complete loser. 

“Do you, um, have anything else I should read? Maybe?” He asks sort of hesitantly, unsure of her reaction. 

Without replying, she unzips her bag. She sorts through a few books, then stops, looking at him. She scans his face for probably the longest she ever has, like she's absorbing exactly what he needs to read right now just by searching his face. It's as if she's able to read him, his emotions, like he's one of her books. 

A few days ago it would have probably made him uncomfortable; the uncertainty and strangeness of having someone just look at you and be able to read you completely. But it doesn't bother him at all right now. He knows he doesn't exactly understand her yet, but he's come to terms with it. She has her own way of doing things, and it's certainly out of the box in a good way. 

Either it's that, or she's staring at him just to make him feel weird. It's probably the latter.

“Here,” she hands him a book then, and he smiles, already looking forward to reading it. It's titled “House of Mirth” by Edith Wharton. 

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” He looks up at her, and she looks back down, her focus back on her book.

“Yeah, anytime,” she nods, and he  _ thinks  _ he catches a sort of half smile, but it was so fast that his eyes could have just been playing tricks on him. 

When he goes back over to he and Ned’s side of the table, he doesn't look at him. He can feel Ned staring, knowing he had witnessed the entire exchange between him and MJ. So Peter just awkwardly eats the rest of his food until the bell rings, completely avoiding making eye contact with Ned. 

* * *

He actually tries to avoid Ned altogether - not just the eye contact part - for the rest of the day. It feels weird; he's never really done it before, or had a reason to. And he isn't even sure he has one now, he just...doesn't feel like talking about certain things at the moment. 

To further this mission of avoidance even more, he just stays in a bathroom stall watching Spider-Man videos on his phone until the bell rings. 

“Dude, where have you been?” Ned asks in a whisper (well, a Ned sort of whisper), already waiting by the door for him to arrive at decathlon practice.

“Uh, just…” Peter mumbles, realizing he hadn't quite gotten this far in his plan. He didn't think of a good lie to tell him when they inevitably saw each other again today, and it wouldn't have really mattered anyway, since Peter is an awful liar. “In the library. Reading.”

Then, in the middle of his lie, he realizes that all of his teammates are either 1) laughing, or 2) trying  _ not  _ to laugh. 

“Penis Parker strikes again!” Flash laughs, dramatically slapping his knee. Everyone's staring at Peter now, and he sighs. “You're really asking for it sometimes, Parker. My God.”

“What is it this time?” Peter asks Ned, instinctively wiping his face for food or something. He notices MJ is the only one  _ not  _ laughing, and it's probably only because she's just not even paying attention to them at all. 

“You've got toilet paper on your shoe,” Ned sighs, pointing down at his foot. 

So Peter looks down and groans, because not only is it embarrassing enough that he has toilet paper on him, but it's a  _ lot  _ of toilet paper. 

“I'll be right back,” Peter groans, making a mad dash to the bathroom. 

“This conversation isn't over!” Ned tells him as he leaves, which makes Peter feel even  _ worse.  _ He wishes Ned would just drop it. 

When he gets back, everyone's already started, so he just slips in as unnoticeable as possible.

“Having a potty training problem, Parker?” Flash laughs obnoxiously, drawing attention from the whole club. It was so obviously on purpose that Peter had to roll his eyes.

“Look, Flash,  _ I'm  _ not the one full of shit,” Peter shrugs, grabbing his notebook and pen. “That's you.”

The entire club oooooo’s then, and Flash gets annoyed, but finally shuts up. 

“Hey, hey, language,” Mr. Harrington scolds him, and Peter apologizes, even though it isn't completely sincere.

“Let's get back to work,” MJ insists, but even  _ she  _ has a slight smirk on her face. Peter looks down at his blank notebook, smiling. 

* * *

“So are we going to talk about what happened in the cafeteria? Or why you're avoiding me?” Ned asks, as they finally get out of their last class.

“What? Avoiding you? Pfft, why would I do that?” Peter scoffs and laughs as if the accusation is absurd.

“You tell me,” Ned crosses his arms, stopping in the hallway. So Peter stops too and turns around, sighing. 

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” he sighs, but it's obviously not convincing at all.  

“No, I know  _ exactly  _ why you’re avoiding me,” Ned raises his eyebrows, and Peter sighs for the millionth time.

“Here we go,” Peter turns and leans against the locker, waiting for one of Ned’s weird and off-kilter explanations of  _ why  _ Peter is acting the way he is. 

“You don't want to face me because you, even if it's your subconscious, don’t want me to tell you the truth that you have yet to realize yourself.” Ned replies proudly, as if he's figured out the secret to life. 

“Yeah? What's that?” Peter laughs, pretty sure this is all some sort of joke at this point.

“The truth is that _you,”_ Ned pushes his finger against Peter's chest, smiling knowingly. “have a _huge_ crush on MJ.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, finally it's confronted! 
> 
> (BTW, thank all of you SO MUCH for your feedback! It means a lot!!)


	7. Caught

“What?!” Peter whispers loudly, looking around to make sure no one was close enough to hear what Ned had just accused him of. 

Peter’s heart is racing in his ears, and somewhere deep down, he knows he was avoiding him for that exact reason. 

“I don't have a crush on her.” He confirms, but he isn't sure if he's trying to convince Ned or himself.  

“Sure, Peter,” Ned laughs, rolling his eyes. “I saw the way you talked to her in the cafeteria today. You were all smiley and blushing and trying to keep the conversation going. And when you made that joke in practice? She was the first person you looked at so you could see if she was laughing. You used to always do that with Liz.”

“I'm just...confused. Maybe I do; I...I can't even figure out my feelings. This is so much different than my crush on Liz. I can't even explain it.” Peter's eyebrows furrow and he groans, upset and confused.

“Oh, dude, you've got it bad,” Ned laughs, shaking his head. “Like bad, bad.”

“You're supposed to be helping me!” Peter crosses his arms, exasperated. 

“I know exactly what it is, too,” Ned ignores Peter’s comment, still smiling. “It was the feeding the homeless thing. You're a sucker for a good person. As soon as you told me about it in your room, I knew it was over. And the fact that you couldn't even tell me about it without smiling just made it even worse for your case.”

“Shut up,” Peter pushes his shoulder playfully, laughing lightly as he gulps. “I just wish she'd talk to me, you know? It's...it's all I think about.” Peter turns and bangs his head on the locker dramatically. “I don't know what to do.”

“Well just keep trying, I guess,” Ned shrugs, and Peter whines and leans back against the lockers. “I mean, it eventually it worked with Liz. Well, until you sent her dad to jail and she had to move away because of it, but-”

“Dude! Not helping!” Peter runs his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes and breathing in. “I thought I would never get over Liz. And I haven't even been looking at MJ like... _ that.  _ But it just happened anyway. I don't know how, or when, or why. God, I feel like I'm going crazy or something.”

“That's what love does to you,” Ned sings out dramatically, making Peter laugh. 

“You guys are weirdos,” MJ walks passed them suddenly, using her usual uninterested tone and not even looking over at them. They both widen their eyes and look at each other. They don't speak again until she's out of sight, and out of earshot.

“There's no way she heard us, right? I mean, she couldn't have,” Peter laughs nervously, trying to convince himself. 

“Even if she did, there's no possible way she could know we were talking about her,” Ned assures him, but even he doesn't sound so sure about it himself. 

“Yeah, you're right,” Peter breathes out, nodding. “Just…no way.”

So they grab their stuff and leave school, walking down the steps.

“And it's not  _ love,  _ by the way,” Peter makes himself clear, and Ned rolls his eyes. “Just...a small crush.”

“Sure, Peter,” Ned laughs, not believing a word of it. 

* * *

 

Now, after what seems like forever (only 3 days), Peter goes after school and suits up. After finally admitting to himself that he likes MJ, he feels much better. Free, happy, finally able to breathe. 

He swings around buildings yelling and smiling, helping people and taking in all of his surroundings like he's never fully seen them before. At one point he lays down on the top of a building, breathing in deeply and smiling like a complete idiot. He can’t remember ever enjoying himself this much.

But even with this happiness, he knows there's no real chance that anything will happen between them. She may not completely despise him, but it’s very obvious that she isn’t interested in him that way. Or interested in being his friend, even. 

He’s not completely heartbroken by it though, since he went through the same thing with Liz. He has fully accepted it, and hopefully he will be able to get over MJ like he did Liz, too. He can’t imagine getting over this anytime soon, though. 

He tries to resist the urge to go back to the building and see her help people, see her smile, see her in her happy place. But he can’t resist. 

So he goes. Again. And he feels guilty and awful the whole time, and he even turns back and talks himself out of it a few of those times. But he talks himself  _ back  _ into it, convincing himself that he should just check up on her for good measure. 

This time he gets help from Karen to hear what they’re saying. 

“Karen, turn on the super hearing thingy please,” He whispers, leaving his mask on this time. 

“Turning on maximized hearing mode,” Karen replies in his ear, and he breathes in, before opening his eyes and getting closer to the hole to look through. 

He sees her there laughing, and his heart instantly starts fluttering and he's smiling involuntarily and he has to gulp, because even his thoughts and memories of this couldn't even come close to the real thing. 

"Some, but I'll have plenty of time to do it tonight," He hears her say, but he isn't sure what she's referring to since he just started listening. "It's easy stuff anyway."

Now he knows what she's talking about: schoolwork. And that’s yet another reason that he likes her: she’s smart, about a thousand times smarter than him, probably. Ever since he's had classes with her, he hasn't seen her struggle once. He’s sure she’s at the top of their class, too. 

“We can never thank you enough for this, you know,” one of the women smile, holding MJ’s hand with care. “I’ve never had someone treat me or my family with such kindness before.”

“Don’t thank me,” She laughs, looking down. “I just...I wish I could do more.”

Then they continue talking about how they’re content there, happy. But she wants them to get an education, a home, a safe place to live. Peter feels his heart warm, feels himself gulp. 

After that conversation she hands out more food, a few new items of clothes, and some of her old books. He's a little surprised by that for a moment, before realizing...he's  _ not  _ actually that surprised. She's giving everything she has to these people, so why would her books, probably the most meaningful of those, be any different?

Maybe she isn't so hard to figure out after all. Maybe she's just learned how to put her guard up, not letting anyone know the real her deep down, that she covers so carefully with mystery and wit. 

She spends some time helping a few of the little kids learn how to read, rewarding them with candy when they pronounce a word right. 

She talks for a little while longer about how their days are going, what else they need for her to bring, and then she says her goodbyes. She starts hugging all of them, and Peter decides that this would probably be a good time to leave. 

So he smiles and breathes in, before webbing the side of the building and jumping up on the roof. He runs and jumps to another building, and another, and then stops and crouches down, waiting for her to come out. 

He feels pretty creepy right now just lurking around to see her come out, see her walk home. And in his mind he fully knows it's weird and unacceptable to be doing this, but something in him tells him to stay and wait.

He finally sees her come out now, smiling and waving at them inside before she shuts the door. She starts walking down the alley again, holding both of her now-empty beach bags. She walks a little while and he follows, but then she keeps turning around to make sure no one’s there. So Peter then gets a little on edge, wondering if she’s being followed. He looks closely and waits a minute to make sure, but he doesn’t see anyone.

So he catches up to her, and she looks behind herself one last time, before she sets her beach bags down, leans against the wall, and puts her face in her hands. Peter makes sure he’s low enough she won’t see him, but he’s curious at what’s going on. 

Soon after that her back slides down the wall, and she’s sniffling and wiping away tears. He’s never seen her cry before. It’s a little alarming at first, because he’s never even  _ thought  _ about MJ crying. But if there’s anything that he knows for sure now, is that he really and truly didn’t know her at all before. 

She tucks her hair behind her ear, wiping the tears from her skin with the back of her hand. She leans her head back against the building, looking up at the sky and sighing. He gets down a little bit more so she won’t see him, but he feels his own heart hurt when hers does. 

He knows she’s crying because of what she said to them earlier: she wants to do more. And when she’s here helping them, feeding them, clothing them, he’s here watching her, when he could be out saving people. Even though he has many more physical abilities than she does, he isn’t even helping  _ ten percent  _ as much as she is. 

He feels guilty. And awful, and like he’s taking what he has for granted. He’s letting personal feelings get in the way of what’s really important: helping people. 

He thinks back to what Ned told him: “When you’re Spider-Man, be Spider-Man. But when you’re Peter, focus on that.” 

He was right. Peter knows he shouldn’t be using his powers for personal reasons - it’s completely against what he stands for. And it’s a huge invasion of privacy on his part, which doesn’t make him feel very good, either. 

So he sits up a little, his chest feeling tight like he might cry, too. He decides to look at her one last time before he leaves. When he does, though, she’s already looking up at him. 

His heart stops.

He stares back for a second, but knows there’s no real way she can know it’s him, Peter. But still, it’s weird that Spider-Man, the same one who saved her friends in DC, is here now, where no crime is going on. 

He takes off running then, unsure of any other options he has. His heart is racing, and he doesn’t stop until he gets back to his room, safe and sound. He has no idea what to do, so he calls Ned and tells him it’s an emergency.

* * *

“She knows, she knows, she knows,” Peter paces his floor, running his fingers through his hair with worry. 

“Dude, she doesn’t,” Ned sighs, sitting on Peter’s bed calmly. “I know she has that whole “I know everything” vibe, but she  _ can’t  _ know that. There’s no way. None. At all.”

“But...you should have seen the way she looked at me. Like...she knew it was me. She wasn’t even surprised, or weirded out, she was just...staring. Oh God, Ned,” Peter whines, sitting down in his chair and putting his face in his hands.

“Well…” Ned shrugs carelessly, which drives Peter up the  _ wall  _ with annoyance. 

“This is serious!” Peter tells him, before getting back up from the seat and going to stare out his window. “What do I even do?”

“Okay, we don’t know for sure she knows,” Ned assures him, but Peter feels like rolling his eyes, because somewhere in him he  _ knows  _ that she knows, but doesn’t have any concrete evidence to backup his claim to Ned. “So tomorrow at school we’ll see. I mean, we’ll be able to tell instantly if she does, right? No one can hide that, not even her.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peter breathes in, trying to calm himself down. That is a sort-of-kind-of good idea, and he knows that there’s nothing he can really even  _ do  _ until then, so he just accepts it. He sits down on the bed next to Ned, nodding. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I’m  _ always  _ right,” Ned shrugs, smiling proudly. “And anyway, why were you following her again anyway? I mean, I get you like her and all, but even I have to admit it’s sort of creepy.”

“I know,” Peter sighs as he lays down on the bed, his heart still hurting at the sight of her crying, and how he ruined that moment for her that she probably rarely has. He feels awful. “I know.”


	8. Face-To-Mask

“I'm scared,” Peter whines on their way to the cafeteria. They're about to see her, and Peter has felt this huge, nervous knot in his stomach since last night, knowing he’s going to have to face her today. 

Apparently Ned saw her in his third period class, but didn't really notice anything was off. But Peter isn't really sure he trusts Ned's entire judgement on that anyway, so he wants to get a good look for himself. He has a good feeling that when he sees her, he’ll instantly realize if she knows it’s him or not.

“Dude, she doesn't know,” Ned argues, sighing. “I would’ve been able to tell.”

“Well she also wouldn't have been acting weird around  _ you,”  _ Peter whispers, now surrounded by people. “Seeing the way she acts around  _ me  _ is the defining factor.”

“Fine,” Ned sighs loudly and for a long time. “What are you even going to do if she  _ does _ act weird? And if she  _ does _ know?”

“I...haven't gotten that far yet,” Peter shrugs, now even  _ more  _ stressed out. 

“Well, you better,” Ned replies confidently, “Because you sitting there stuttering like an idiot isn't going to help your case if she  _ does _ know like you think she does. You have to come up with a good reason  _ why  _ you were following her. And  _ why  _ you've been lying to her about who you really are.”

“You're right,” Peter breathes in, moving down the lunch line. “I need to come up with something. Please help me.”

* * *

 

“I don't think she knows,” Peter mouths to Ned across the table, who's giving a confused look because he can't tell what he's saying. 

MJ sat down at the lunch table like always, greeting them by calling them losers, before proceeding to sit down and read her book in silence. No odd looks. No quick glances. Not even a hint of suspicion towards Peter at all. 

“She,” Peter makes out with his mouth as clearly as possible, “doesn't,” he continues, Ned still with that look of complete confusion on his face. “know.”

“Oh!” Ned laughs out loud, and Peter shuts his eyes and breathes out as MJ looks over at them. “I told you so!”

“You're supposed to mouth it!” Peter sighs in embarrassment, mouthing once again to an oblivious Ned. 

“What?” Ned asks, out loud  _ again.  _ Peter gives up.

* * *

 

“You have to follow her again,” Ned argues, attempting to whisper for once as they’re doing sit ups in P.E. MJ’s there, but she’s in the bleachers reading a book, not paying them any attention. 

“No way!” Peter's eyes widen at the thought, shaking his head. “Why? Why would I do that? I'm never doing it again. It was wrong, it was a major invasion of privacy, it w-”

“Peter, she knows Spider-Man is following her now. Don't you want to see what she does, how she acts? I mean, if she knows it's you, she'll act like she does at school, right? But if she  _ only  _ thinks it's Spider-Man...not you, not anyone at this school, just Spider-man, then maybe...I don’t know, maybe she’ll show her gratitude for what you did in DC. If you know what I mean.” Ned shrugs and raises an eyebrow, a slight smile on his face. 

“Gross, dude, shut up!” Peter laughs a little, shaking his head. 

“But seriously,” Ned goes on, looking around to make sure no one can hear them. “She’s obviously good at hiding things. She might know it’s you, but she's just not showing it. Just go and see how she acts, see what she does. She may not even show up now if she knows that you’re watching her.”

“Ugh, that’s not what I wanted,” Peter lays down, sighing and looking up at the ceiling. “She loves them, and I took away her privacy and her comfortability of knowing she could do that in secret.”

“Stop beating yourself up, dude,” Ned sighs, stopping and turning to look at Peter seriously. “I know it sucks, and yeah you were really, really stupid, but it’s too late to change it now.”

“Oh wow, Ned, great advice, thank you,” Peter laughs a little, and Ned smiles proudly.

“Anytime.”

* * *

Peter decides to do it. He hopes this isn’t something he regrets even more than yesterday, but he still has an uneasy feeling about it all. He just wants to stick around long enough to see that she still goes. He wants peace of mind that he didn’t ruin it for her. 

So he goes a little early, swinging and jumping across buildings until he reaches one nearby the building she visits. Far enough away though that he doesn’t really have to worry about her seeing him again. 

He waits ten minutes, twenty minutes, thirty minutes, and even starts falling asleep before he hears something. He sits up, waiting to hear it again.

“Help!” He hears MJ yelling. He could tell instantly that it was her voice. “Someone help!” 

So he stands up, his heart racing, and he runs so fast that he almost trips, until he reaches the building directly above the alley she’s in. He looks down and sees three guys cornering her, her mouth now covered. 

Peter feels the blood rush to his ears, making them ring. 

“Hey, leave her alone!” He yells from the building, then uses his web to swing down, landing beside them. 

“Who’s this guy?” One of the three men laugh, pointing a gun at him. 

“The guy that’s going to kick all three of your asses,” Peter shoots his web at the gun, pulling it from one of the men’s hands and throwing it across the alley. Then he webs one of the other’s hands to the wall, and punches the other directly in the face, before webbing his hand to the ground. 

“You okay, miss?” Peter turns to her, putting on a slight accent, but she's already walking towards one of the men, not giving Peter (well, Spider-Man) any attention. 

“Give it back!” She yells at him, digging in his pocket. “I know you have it - I saw you take it. Give it to me now.”

“Look, lady, I don't have nothing of your-” he starts, putting his hand up in defense.

“Oh, sure you don't,” she narrows her eyes and shakes her head, pulling a necklace from his pocket. It's a long, silver chain, and has a locket on it. “The worst part about you three,” she points at them, then crosses her arms like she's disappointed. Peter is in shock. “Is that if you would have been in need of food, money, anything - I would have given it to you if you asked. This is for being idiots,” she tells them, reaching in her pocket and then spraying all three of them with pepper spray.

“Jesus Christ, lady!” One of them yells, and she pulls them out of their web, one by one. 

Peter walks up to stop her from letting them go, but she puts her hand up to stop him. 

“Don't come back or I'm calling the cops on you. And trust me, I don't want to have to do that!” She yells after them, one of them almost tripping as they all rub at their burning eyes and disappear through the alley. 

Peter stands there, silently looking at her with his mouth open. 

“I  _ knew _ you were following me,” she turns to Peter then, crossing her arms like nothing just happened. “Why? What am I to you?”

“I, uh,” he gulps, knowing he sounds  _ way  _ too much like Peter. He gathers himself, trying to act confident. “I was just around the neighborhood, and I could hear you scream. By the way, you almost just got  _ robbed  _ and you're concerned with  _ me  _ being here? _ ”  _

“That happens to me at least twice a week. I could have taken them down - I know Kung Fu, Muay Thai, and Judo. I just wanted to see if you would come save me, is all,” she shrugs, unfazed by any of it. “I saw you yesterday and wondered how long you'd been following me like that.”

“You...you could have been killed!” He motions with his arms, and then realizes  _ again _ that he's being way too Peter-like. “I mean...you shouldn't put yourself in danger like that.”

“Do you even know my name, Spider-Man? Why are you following me?” She asks, and he backs up a little, nervous she's going to catch on, or has already. 

“No, I don't,” he lies, gulping. “I just think you're doing a great thing by helping those people. I know my line of work is a little different than yours, but it's just as important. And I brought something to give them, too,” he breathes out, webbing the side of the building. “I'll be right back - don't leave.”

So he jumps up, then crawls the rest of the way up the building, and then runs until he gets to his backpack. He grabs something out of it, and then goes back to where MJ is still standing. 

“They're a little crushed, but...I don't know, I just wanted to help,” he deepens his voice a little, handing the bag over to her which is full of assorted cookies.

“Hope you enjoy. XOXO - Spider-Man, and then...there's a big smiley-face,” she reads the note on the front of the bag, looking up at him for an explanation. 

“Yeah, I wasn't exactly expecting this to happen,” he scratches the back of his neck, laughing a little. “I was just going to leave it outside of their door.”

“I can take it,” she puts it in one of her bags, pushing her curly hair behind her ear. His heart feels like it skips a beat. “Thank you. I'll tell them it was a personal gift from Spider-Man.”

“Okay,” he nods, almost accidentally calling her MJ. That would have been awful. “Thank you.”

She starts walking away then, but then she turns around, looking at him.

“You still haven't told me why you're following me,” she looks at him, and he breathes in, having no idea what to say. 

“I sometimes check up on the real heroes around here,” he nods at her, and she  _ actually _ smiles a little. “You guys down here are what really make a difference.”

“You saved my friends,” she tells him, fully smiling now. “I’m pretty sure that made a huge difference. Thank you.”

“No...no problem,” he laughs, embarrassingly flustered. “Have an, um, nice day, miss.”

“You too, Spider-Man,” she gives a relaxed salute, before turning and resuming her walk down the alley. “Oh, and it's MJ, by the way.” She tells him, and doesn't turn back. 

“Okay!” He waves, his heart  _ still  _ racing. “Bye, MJ!”

She disappears down the alley then, and he pumps his fist excitedly, finally feeling like he's gotten somewhere.  _ And  _ she isn't mad that he was following her. Well, for now, when she doesn't know it's Peter, but still.

During the whole conversation he felt so open, so exposed, like she knows it's him, and there's not even a mask to cover that anymore. Like it was just MJ and Peter talking, no masks, no secret identity, just...them. It's so strange to talk face-to-face with someone you know, someone you see every day, and them not know it's you. 

When he's on his way home, he can't help but smile the whole way back. She gave him a real, genuine smile, and he can't stop playing it over and over in his head. Yeah, it may not have been  _ Peter  _ she was smiling at, but it was Spider-Man, and that's a huge step. 

* * *

“I'm in love, Ned,” Peter sighs, sitting in his window, his head back against the edge of it. He's now seeing everything in a completely new light, like it’s all beautiful and wonderful and there's suddenly nothing wrong in the world. 

“You just told me  _ today  _ it wasn't love,” Ned laughs, amused at Peter’s nonstop lovestruck smile. “What was the necklace for anyway? Why was she so concerned about it?”

“Family heirloom? I don't know, Ned, I didn't exactly have to time to ask,” Peter shrugs, watching the cars pass on the street below. “You should have seen her smile. She smiled at  _ me.”  _

“You need help,” Ned laughs, shaking his head. “So what are you gonna do?”

“Do about what?” Peter asks, humming happily with his forehead pressed to the warm window. 

“About MJ. I mean, dude, maybe she likes Spider-Man, yeah, but she doesn't even  _ talk  _ to Peter Parker. And she's gonna be  _ pissed  _ when she figures out you were following her, and lied to her about knowing her,” He shrugs, picking up Peter’s rubix cube and trying to solve it. “It's one thing when it's  _ just  _ Spider-Man; someone you don't know, someone who's just there to help. But when she figures out  _ you're  _ Spider-Man, and  _ you've  _ been following her? What do you think she'll do?”

“Ned, you're really killing my good mood,” Peter sighs, running his fingers through his hair as he walks to his chair and lazily falls into it. “But if she likes Spider-Man, than she likes me, right? I  _ am  _ Spider-Man.”

“Yeah, dude, but that's because she doesn't know Spider-Man is a liar yet,” Ned shrugs, still playing with the rubix cube. 

“Dude! Are you even on my side?!” Peter groans, putting his forehead on his desk in defeat.

“Of course I am,” Ned replies, finally putting down the rubix cube and looking up at Peter. “It's just that there's going to be consequences for all of it. And the longer you go without telling her, the worse it's going to get.”

“This sucks,” Peter breathes out, looking up at his ceiling. “How am I even going to get myself out of this?”

“We'll figure it out,” Ned assures him, picking the rubix cube up again. “And hey, maybe she  _ does  _ like you Peter. Maybe she'll be glad it's you.”

“Yeah, right,” Peter sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to wrack his brain for ideas on what to do so that MJ  _ won’t _ hate his guts when she figures out that he’s Spider-Man.


	9. Rehearsal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an extra long chapter for you guys!! Hope you like it - I loved writing this one :)

When Ned leaves that night, Peter decides to read the book MJ gave him the other day. Not only because it gives him a good reason to talk to her, but also because he  _ wants  _ to read it and he  _ wants  _ to learn new things and he  _ wants  _ to spend time reading things that she likes. He wants to get to know her as much as he possibly can, and he knows this is one of the only ways he can do that right now. 

He stays up until three in the morning (on a school night) so that he can finish the book and talk to MJ about it tomorrow at lunch. It’s good - amazing, actually - and he thinks maybe she  _ did  _ read him that day, because that book felt like it was exactly what he needed in the moment he read it. 

When he finally got in bed to go to sleep, even though it’s in the middle of the night, he can’t quite get his mind off of what had happened today. She was so open, so talkative, so herself. He wishes she could act like that to him, without the mask. Just her and him talking like friends.

He tosses and turns all night, wishing things were different, wishing it was all solved, still thinking about her smiling at him. He can’t get it out of his head.

* * *

 

“I loved this one too,” Peter smiles nervously, once again sitting across from MJ at the lunch table and handing over her book. His foot is tapping on the floor with nerves, his stomach turning. “Thank you. You’re like my own personal library.”

She takes the book and puts it in her bag, then pulls out another one. She slides it over the table, looking at him. He freezes for a second. They’re making eye contact. He knows they have before, but it’s always been just a short amount of time before one of them looks away. Now his hands are clammy and his heart is racing and they’re looking at each other and he has no idea how to even function like a normal human. Especially after facing her yesterday.

“This is one of my favorites,” She tells him, breaking the eye contact and silence to shut her book bag. “It gives a lot of insight into the origin of problems that are going on in today’s world. It’s good.”

“Oh, thanks,” He nods, grabbing the book and looking at it. It’s the one he had seen her reading the other day: “Women, Race, and Class” “I’m looking forward to reading it. Especially since it, you know, means so much to you.”

He  _ immediately  _ realizes how weird that sounded, especially since they barely even talk to each other. The fact that Ned feels the need to clear his throat to notify him of his embarrassing comment isn’t helping much, either. 

“I just mean that...you know, I want to care for everyone, and I know you do too, so I figured that reading one of your books will help, I guess,” He babbles on, probably making it a lot worse. “I don’t even understand what I’m trying to say right now so I’ll just shut up.”

“No, it’s okay,” She shrugs, eating a spoonful of applesauce. “I think it’s kinda cool you want to be educated on topics that concern other people.”

“Oh,” He nods, wiping his stupid, sweaty palms on his pants. He feels like his head is spinning. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think  _ you  _ are cool in any way,” She assures him, pushing her hair back. “Just the idea of someone purposely opening their eyes to oppression others face, even though they themselves don’t have to face it. It’s cool.”

“Too late, you already said I was cool,” He shrugs, smiling. “No takebacks.”

“Shut up, Peter,” She laughs a little, shaking her head and throwing a balled up napkin at him. 

He feels like his heart is being crushed under his ribs painfully, because suddenly he can’t breathe, and he’s looking at her like she’s the only person in the entire world, and he can’t even  _ think  _ about anything other than her smiling at him.

“Are you having a stroke?” She asks, furrowing her eyebrows at him, snapping her fingers in his face. 

“I’ll, um, leave you to your book and applesauce,” He stutters out, suddenly realizing how embarrassing that was. He gets up from his chair to go back to his, grabbing the book from the table. 

Ned’s shaking his head at him, and Peter can already hear his voice in his head: “Peter, you really have to work on your talking to girls skills. Dude, you’re freaking Spider-Man!” Which is something Ned somehow considers to be the anecdote for  _ every single  _ situation Peter could be in. Oh, Peter’s failing a math class? “But dude, you’re Spider-Man!” Peter’s dying in a ditch somewhere? “But dude, you’re Spider-Man!”

Just as he’s stepping out from his chair, he realizes his foot is stuck in the chair beside his. It’s hooked behind the chair’s leg, and before he can do anything about it, he trips and falls. 

He feels his face flush as Ned bursts out in accidental laughter, but then covers it up by clearing his throat and asking “you okay?”

“I’m good!” Peter stands up, dusting his hands off and laughing awkwardly. MJ glances up at him for a moment, then looks back down at her book, laughing a little. He blushes an even deeper red then, before grabbing Ned’s shirt collar.

“Come with me,” He tells him, and Ned follows behind as Peter leads him out of the cafeteria, into the empty hallway. 

“Are you serious?!” Peter’s hands fly up in exasperation, before he presses his face into the wall in embarrassment. “You’re my best friend - you aren’t suppose to laugh when I trip! And especially not in front of the girl I like! You're supposed to make me look cool!”

“Dude, chill,” Ned puts his hand on his shoulder, sighing. “Besides, MJ was barely even laughing! I doubt she was making fun, anyway. It was just kind of, you know...funny.”

“I’ll remember you said that when  _ you  _ embarrass yourself around your crush,” Peter complains, leaning his head back against the wall and rubbing the bridge of his nose. 

“Okay, okay, it was wrong, I’m sorry,” Ned admits, sighing. “But either way, MJ was...kind of flirting with you.”

“What?” Peter’s eyes snap open, and he crosses his arms bashfully. “You think so?”

“Um, yeah, dude,” Ned nods his head, as if he’s suddenly an expert on the topic. “I mean, it was  _ you  _ guys’ weird, twisted way of flirting where you both, like, make fun of each other relentlessly. But it's still flirting. I think. I don’t know, I watched a video on it once.” 

“She smiled and laughed at me,” Peter looks down, kicking his foot around the floor aimlessly, happily. “And I wasn’t even Spider-Man! And God, she’s finally talking to me.  _ Me,  _ Ned.”

“Okay, calm down,” Ned laughs, but Peter is overwhelmed with feelings right now. 

“I thought I was never going to get over Liz,” Peter admits, sighing. “But this is worse. I don’t know how exactly yet, but I just...I like her so much.”

“I know you do,” Ned shakes his head, patting him on the back supportively. “But you've gotta pull yourself together, Peter. I'm pretty sure the  _ last  _ thing MJ wants is someone who can't even, like, form a coherent thought when talking to her.”

“I know, I know, I'm working on it,” Peter breathes out, trying to think. “Can you come over at around seven tonight?” 

“Are you kidding? I have no other friends, what else would I be doing?”

* * *

 

“Dude, stop staring at her,” Ned nudges Peter’s arm in chemistry class, making Peter jump a little. “If she didn’t think you were creepy before, she definitely will now.”

“I’m...I’m not staring,” Peter lies, sticking a pencil behind his ear and sighing. “But she’s so beautiful, isn’t she?”

“This is even worse than I thought,” Ned shakes his head, sighing hopelessly. “We have to do something.”

* * *

 

Peter is  _ actually  _ helping people today instead of following MJ around like an idiot; he decided that he’s not going to do it anymore. He's going to be Spider-Man, and do the things he did  _ before  _ he formed this crush. 

So he swings around New York, searching for people who need help. He helps one elderly man load groceries into his car, helps a little girl find her mom, and then stops a mugger from stealing from a hot dog stand. It's not exactly what he's been wanting to do, but helping is helping, either way. 

He gets back to the apartment tired and sweaty, and Ned’s not there yet, so he decides to take a shower. He washes his body and hair, changes into pajamas, and by the time he's done Ned is already on his bed, messing with the rubix cube again. 

“Hey, Ned,” Peter yawns, running his fingers through his wet hair. 

“So why did you need me to come over again?” Ned asks, not even looking up at him.

“It’s a little embarrassing, but I figured since you’re my best friend, you won’t mind helping me, you know?” Peter rubs the back of his neck, and Ned looks up at him then, narrowing his eyes. 

“What, are we going to sit here and rehearse what you’re going to say to MJ?” Ned laughs out, shaking his head and sighing with amusement.

“Actually…” Peter shrugs, giving Ned a hopeful look. 

“Oh my God, dude, no! I was joking!” Ned’s mouth drops open, and Peter groans. “Seriously, I said to myself “I’m going to think of the worst possible thing he could ask me, and say it as a joke.” And that was it!”

“Okay, stop being so dramatic, it’s not  _ that  _ big of a deal,” Peter huffs, crossing his arms. “Dude, I would  _ so  _ do this for you!”

“You owe me big time for this,” Ned takes in a long, annoyed breath, then grabs one of Peter’s books from his night stand. Peter sits up in his seat, trying to gather himself, trying to think of what to say.

“What do I need to say?” Peter asks Ned, unsure himself. “Do I start out by asking her about her day, or talking about a book? I have no idea.”

“Are you planning on straight up asking her out on a date? Or ask her to help with homework or something? How do you want to do it?” Ned asks, making Peter think. 

“I’d rather get to know her as a friend first, you know? So maybe just...maybe pretend I’m having a hard time in a subject and ask her to help after school?” He suggests, biting the inside of his cheek anxiously. “Well, I’m actually  _ not  _ doing that great in Geometry right now, so it wouldn’t even be a lie…”

“Well there you go,” Ned nods, and Peter stands up, and starts pacing the floor. “And even though you have different Geometry periods, you both still have Miss Warren so you’re on the exact same sections and everything.”

“Okay, I think I need to mention that too, to make it more convincing. Should I ask her to come over here? Or go to the library, or a coffee shop?” Peter asks, standing up and rubbing his hands together as he paces the floor. 

“Hmm, I’d say a coffee shop,” Ned suggests, rubbing his chin. “Because it’s more intimate than being in school like you always are when you see each other, but it’s less weird than being alone in your room without knowing each other a whole lot.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s true, good point,” Peter nods, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair back. “Okay, you want to try now?”

“I guess,” Ned sighs, grabbing the book again. “Can you sit down or something? You’re even making  _ me  _ nervous pacing like that.”

“Oh yeah, sorry,” Peter laughs a little, rolling his chair closer to Ned and throwing his legs around the front of it. “Okay, ready?”

“Ready,” Ned nods, breathing in and running his hand over his face quickly to get in character. Then he puts his face  _ in  _ the book. 

“Okay, Ned, she isn’t  _ that  _ close to the book,” Peter sighs, already hating this idea. 

“Fine, fine,” Ned pulls it back a little, but pretends to read and not look at him. That’s actually pretty realistic, though. 

“I’m gonna start,” Peter takes in a long, relaxed breath, trying to imagine this as a real situation. 

“Hey, MJ,” Peter laughs a little, his voice unusually high. Nope. This is way too awkward. 

“Dude, seriously?” Ned laughs too, shaking his head. 

“I’m trying!” Peter expresses clearly, running his hand through his hair again. “Okay, okay, really this time. And I want you stop me if I say anything weird. Until I get it perfect.”

“This is going to take eternity,” Ned groans, “I hate this.”

“I need your help, Ned!” Peter sighs sadly, looking over at him. “Please?”

“Let’s just get it over with,” Ned nods, then starts looking at the book again. 

Peter mentally prepares for it, composing himself. 

“Hey, MJ,” Peter smiles, but Ned keeps staring at the book. “How, um, is your day going?”

“You said “um,” start over,” Ned shakes his head, and Peter nods. “Also, try to sound more confident. You sound like you’re trying to hold back tears or something.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” He agrees, gathering all of his thoughts and clearing his head of all nerves. 

“Hey, MJ,” Peter voices it as confidently as possible, putting on a smile. “How has your day been?”

“It was fine until  _ you _ started talking to me,” Ned mimics MJ by putting on a girl voice, which makes Peter burst out into laughter. “What? I’m playing the part!”

“She doesn’t even sound like that!” Peter fires back, shaking his head. 

“You don’t appreciate the art and talent I put into that impression, Peter,” Ned smiles a little too, but tries to act serious, which makes it worse. 

“Dude, I cannot do this with you,” Peter half laughs, half groans, pressing his forehead to his folded arms. 

“I’m sure May wouldn’t mind helping,” Ned suggests seriously, and Peter swivels in his chair, sighing. 

“I know, but...it’s embarrassing,” Peter replies, stopping, then swiveling the opposite way. 

“May?!” Ned yells, putting his hands around his mouth to make it louder, and Peter grits his teeth and rolls his chair over to Ned, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Dude!” Peter whispers, widening his eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Hey boys,” May appears in the doorway, smiling. “What’s up?”

Ned then pushes Peter away, smiling at May. “Peter likes someone and needs to practice asking them out because he turns into a jell-o mess everytime he sees them.”

“What? How could you not tell me you liked someone, Peter?” She walks inside the room then, her eyebrows furrowing with hurt. “And what about Liz? I thought you were still getting over her?”

“I know, I’m sorry, it just came on sort of fast,” Peter apologizes to her, quickly shooting Ned a look. He’s already back on the rubix cube. “And yeah, but this is different than Liz. I was so focused on her all of this time that I never really noticed someone else right in front of me.”

Aunt May signals between Ned and Peter, trying to put it together. 

“No, no, not us,” Peter laughs, shaking his head. “No, it's just...a girl in some of my classes. And she’s on the decathlon team, too.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Aunt May puts her hand on her chest, laughing. “But you know that would have been perfectly okay, right? If it was Ned?”

“Yeah, May, thanks,” He nods, looking over at Ned.

“Huh?” Ned looks up, not having heard any of their conversation. Peter just waves him off, turning back to his aunt. 

“So what’s the problem?” Aunt May asks, narrowing her eyes and listening intently.

“Well, I want to spend time with her and get to know her, but she’s...she has no interest in me. She pretty much ignores me, which is...fine, you know, but I just want to know everything about her, and I don’t know how. So I was going to ask her to help me with one of my classes so we could hang out, but I can barely talk to her without...without making myself look like an idiot, you know?” He rubs the back of his neck, sighing. “So I just wanted to practice what I was going to say to her until I feel good about it.”

“Oh, I remember doing that with my friends,” She smiles, clapping a little with excitement. “So what is she like?”

Peter tells May all about her, and she’s such a good listener that he’s annoyed with himself for not telling her sooner. 

So then they start practicing the conversation together. It’s completely embarrassing and humiliating, but eventually it gets easier, and they finally get through a few sentences without Peter stopping in the middle of it to compose himself and restart. 

Then Aunt May gives him a few tips like “Be more confident!” or “Smile more, girls like that.” or “Don’t sound so rehearsed, she’ll be able to tell.”

By the end of the night, Peter actually feels decently content with what he’s come up with. He’s not completely positive it’s going to work, but he’s at least confident that he won’t make a complete idiot out of himself asking. 

“I just really want to be her friend at least, you know?” Peter sighs, looking up at the ceiling from the floor of his room. Ned’s sleeping over, and since neither of have ever been able to settle on who gets the bed, they decided a long time ago to just both sleep on the floor. “I want to get to know her, and spend time with her, and-"

Ned then replies by snoring loudly. So Peter laughs a little and turns on his side, putting his arm under his pillow. 

He can’t wait to see her tomorrow.


	10. Requests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I didn't post yesterday! I've had a crazy week, and I couldn't find time to upload. I promise I haven't given up on this story :) 
> 
> Due to the fact I didn't post until today, I may not be able to post the next until Saturday night. But I will definitely try harder to get back into the normal routine next week! 
> 
> Thanks again :)

“Just go and ask,” Ned pushes him a little, but Peter quickly goes back to his previous spot, shaking his head.

“I changed my mind,” Peter breathes in, feeling like he’s going to pass out. “I’m just not gonna ask her. It was...God, it was a stupid idea, anyway.”

He and Ned are in the hallway adjacent to the cafeteria, and Peter keeps peeking over to look at MJ sitting at their empty table, reading. He had been so nervous in his third period class, that he just decided _not_ to go to lunch at all. It seemed like a good idea, until Ned trudged into the bathroom and dragged him out, fully ready to use force if he needs to.

“Of course it was a stupid idea, but you still have to do it,” Ned sighs, crossing his arms in annoyance. “Dude, it’s not even, like, fully asking her out yet. It’s just asking her to study with you.”

“I know, but...this is so freaking hard,” Peter whines, feeling like he’s going to hyperventilate. “I think my heart’s going to explode.”

“Just go, Peter,” Ned groans, annoyed. “The longer you wait, the worse it’s going to be. Seriously. Also I'm really hungry and you're keeping me from my food, and I’m I’ll be able to forgive you for that.”

“Fine, okay? Fine,” Peter breathes out, tucking his hair back. “How do I look?”

“Exactly like you do every day,” Ned nods, seeming to think it’s encouraging. Peter shakes his head and turns back around, trying to prepare himself.

“I’m going in,” Peter clenches his fists nervously at his sides, but doesn’t make any point to move.

“Well?” Ned taps his foot impatiently, waiting for Peter to follow through.

“I’m...trying,” Peter sighs, but turns back around to face him. “Oh God, I can’t.”

“You’re making the anticipation, like, ten times worse than it needs to be,” Ned explains through a sigh. “Look, the longer you take, the more awkward you’re going to act since you’ve been spending all of this time worrying about it. Just clear your head, don’t think about it, and go.”

“That is _so_ much easier said than done, Ned,” Peter groans anxiously, then peeks around the corner again, getting a glimpse of her. “God, I can’t face her.”

“Yes you can,” Ned encourages, looking up at the clock. “We have thirteen minutes until the bell rings. You’re gonna miss your chance.”

“I can just...do it tomorrow.” Peter shrugs, turning around and beginning to walk down the hall.

“No,” Ned stops him, grabbing his arm. “I know you, and the longer you have to think and worry about it, the less likely it is that you’ll actually do it. Peter, just go!”

“You’re right,” He puts his face in his hands, then looks up at Ned. “You’re right, I have to.”

“As always,” Ned shrugs, smiling proudly. “Now go. It’s down to twelve minutes.”

“Okay, I’m really going this time,” Peter pumps himself up, nodding and breathing in deeply. He walks back up to the corner, keeps going, and finally gets into the cafeteria. Halfway to the table, though, when he sees MJ and thinks about what he’s really doing, he stops and turns around.

“Nope,” Ned immediately tells him, spinning him back around and forcing him to go the rest of the way. Peter feels like he’s going to hyperventilate.

They finally approach the table, and Peter swallows thickly with nerves. How did he ever do this with Liz? And that was worse, too, because it was an actual _date._ MJ probably won’t even take it as that, so why is this so hard for him to do?

“Good luck, dude,” Ned whispers and pats his back, then immediately turns back around to go to the lunch line.

Peter fumbles to the chair in front of MJ, but she doesn’t even look up to notice him almost trip _again._ He tries to act normal, because he knows that she’s probably already weirded out anyway. And also she would be pretty suspicious of things if he was acting _that_ weird just to ask her to help him study.

“Hey,” He gives her a real, genuine smile. He feels a little calmer now that he’s here; he hates to admit it, but Ned was right about the anticipation thing.

“Hey, Parker,” She replies in her normal, uninterested tone. He tries to remember what he and May rehearsed, and what sounded best. But then he realizes that all of it’s stupid, and he should just be spontaneous and go with what feels right instead. It’s scary, but he knows he’ll probably stutter a _thousand_ times worse trying to remember every single word he’s “supposed” to say.

“How has your day been?” He asks casually, and she glances up at him for a second, already sensing something’s up. His heart pounds and he gulps, as she looks back down at her book.

“It’s been okay,” She shrugs, turning the page. He wishes she would elaborate more, but he already feels like he’s bothering her so he doesn't even want to ask.

“Anything interesting happen?” He questions cautiously, hoping he isn’t annoying her as bad as he feels like he is.

“Look, Peter, I know you want something so just ask,” She puts her book down and sighs, before crossing her arms and looking at him.

“No, I…” He starts to say, feeling his palms sweating. She’s staring right at him. “Well I do, but I actually really want to know how your day was. Since we’re, you know, friends and everything.”

She pauses.

He feels like she hates him.

“It was pretty normal. Woke up, showered, got on the bus, and did my normal routine of classes. Nothing extremely interesting happened, but it wasn't bad either.” She tells him full out, and he nods and smiles a little. “Now what do you want?”

It wasn't in a cold tone at all. It was more of a curious one if anything, but still scary, anyway.

“I just know you're really smart and good at geometry,” Peter breathes out, trying to think of a way to approach this. “Well, Betty told Ned you always ace your tests, and Ned told me. Anyway, I was wondering if...well I haven't been doing so great in that class lately, because I've just been, um, distracted, I guess. So I was wondering if maybe we could meet up after school a few days a week and you could help? I'm not a _complete_ idiot in the subject, but I just missed a few classes and that made me fall behind, and it's been hard catching up. I'll, um, pay you.”

She sits up, a little surprised but not showing that to him.

“When and where?” She asks, leaning forward and setting her arms on the table.

“Is that a yes?” He smiles, feeling a sudden relief. She just looks at him. “Oh, um, it doesn't matter to me. You can choose.”

“Two hours at Sweetleaf every Tuesday and Thursday. Seven to nine.” She tells him, her face unreadable.

He thinks about how this is all an act; she puts on a tough face, but he's seen her vulnerable and upset and crying, and he can't stop thinking about it. He hopes that after spending more time with her and getting closer to her, she might be able to open up more and show her real self to him.

“Tonight?”

“Actually, I can't tonight. We can do it tomorrow. But from then on, Tuesday and Thursday.”

“Well what if I already have plans tomorrow?” He shrugs, trying to act cool.

“Do you?”

“...no.”

“That's what I thought.”

“Hey!”

“Just joking.”

“Sure.”

“It's not like I have plans either, so it wasn't even really a jab, surprisingly.”

Ned interrupts their back-and-forth by setting his tray on the table and opening his loud, crackling chip bag. Peter shoots him a look, widening his eyes to try and hint that they’re trying to have a conversation.

Ned crunches down loudly on a chip then, not seeming to pick up the hint. Peter sighs quietly and turns back to MJ, pretending nothing happened.

“So, um, do you go to Sweetleaf a lot?” He asks, swallowing thickly. “I’ve only been once I think. It was really good, though.”

“I go there to read sometimes,” She shrugs, pushing her fork around her food. At least she doesn't have her book out and ignoring him like she usually does at this point of the conversation.

“That reminds me, I need to start that book you gave me,” he tells her, smiling. “I was busy last night so I couldn’t, but-”

“Doing what?”

“What?”

“You said you were busy. What were you doing?”

He thinks about him and Ned and May embarrassingly practicing this moment a thousand times in his bedroom last night. There’s no way he’s telling her that.

“Oh, uh,” He laughs nervously, trying to make something up quickly. “My aunt needed help.”

“Help with what?” She asks, narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously. Why does he feel like she knows every single time he’s lying?

“Just…” He gulps, scratching the back of his neck.

“I was just joking, I don’t even actually care at all,” She tells him, and he looks up at her in relief. “But now that you’re so sweaty and nervous I’m actually curious. So spill it.”

There’s a pause, and he’s trying to think, but his mind is completely blank and he’s panicking. What does he say?

Then the bell rings.

“Don’t think I won’t find out your secret, Peter,” She sighs a little with a small smile, stuffing her book in her bag and grabbing her lunch tray. “I expect a full explanation tomorrow.”

"It's not...I don't have a secret!" He tells her, but she's already walking away, out of the cafeteria.

"Dude, come on, it's time to get to class," Ned tells him, picking up his tray and leaving.

Peter sighs in relief that it's over and done with, and it worked. Sure, she probably only did it for the money, but still.

"Yeah, I'm...I'm coming," Peter nods, unmoving in his seat, smiling. He’s over the moon.

* * *

 "So she said yes? I told you she would!" Ned whispers in chemistry, and someone turns around and eyes them in annoyance. Peter smiles apologetically, and the girl rolls her eyes and turns back around.

"It's not like it's a date though, you know? But I'm excited," Peter explains, sighing dreamily. "I hope I get to know her a little better. Pretty sure she hates me, but still. I'll take what I can get."

"Just don't act like an idiot," Ned tells him, and Peter pinches the bridge of his nose in worry. 

"I'll definitely try, Ned,"

* * *

 He reads that night. He knows he won't be able to sleep, so he figures instead of just tossing and turning, he could use that time to start the book she had given him. He feels like he gets to know a small part of her every time he reads one of her books.  

He falls asleep reading it that night, but the next day he reads it on the subway and in his first three classes just so he'll get to talk to her about it at lunch.

But she isn't there.

"Where is she? Was she in class this morning?" Peter asks Ned, sighing in disappointment.

"Nope," Ned shrugs, biting loudly into an apple.

"This sucks," Peter pushes his lunch tray up a little, setting his arms in it's place. Then he lays on them, thinking. "Are we having decathlon practice?"

"I think so," Ned tells him, taking a bite of his pizza. "Mister Harrington is letting Betty take over as captain when MJ's gone so we don't miss as many days. I think MJ must have told him what she was doing, you know, for the homeless people, because he doesn't seem mad or anything."

"Oh," Peter nods, already knowing it's a waste for him to even go, because he only ever answers questions to try and impress her. "I wonder if she wants to cancel the study thing tonight. I mean...should I even show up?"

"Um, of course," Ned tells him, as if it's completely obvious. "Just because she isn't at school doesn't mean she can't show up at a coffee shop at seven tonight. Relax, dude, it'll be fine."

"Yeah, I guess," He replies, lazily tracing his finger on the table in boredom. "I just hate days when she's not here."

"This is so gross to witness," Ned shakes his head, laughing at him.

* * *

 "Are you sure I look okay?" Peter asks May, looking in the mirror. It's just a t-shirt and jeans like always, but he wants to look nice anyway. For a moment he lets himself wonder if she's doing the same thing in her room right now, but then he quickly realizes how ridiculous it was for him to even think she might.

"You look handsome, Peter," May laughs, turning him around to face her. She fixes his hair a little, smiling.

"Any advice?" He asks with a nervous laugh, trying to keep his head clear of negative thoughts.

"Just be yourself," She smiles, squeezing his hand supportively. "Don't agree with everything she says just so she'll like you, because she won't. She's going to like you most if you're your own person. And if she's anything like you've described her as, she'll respect you for it."

Peter laughs and looks at the floor, nodding. "Yeah, be myself. Got it. Thanks, May."

"No problem," She tells him, giving him a hug. "Be careful, okay?"

"I will," He nods, agreeing. "And I'll text you when I'm on my way home."

"You better," She raises an eyebrow, crossing her arms with a slight smile.

"I gotta go, May. Bye!"

"Love you, Peter! Have a great time!"

* * *

 She isn't coming. She can't be, right?

He's sitting in the coffee shop with his geometry book set out in front of him, studying. He wraps his fingers around his hot cup, bringing it to his mouth as he stares out the window anxiously. He keeps looking for her in all of the people passing by, but none of them are her.

He's been trying to study, but he can't even look at a shape for five seconds without glancing at the door, hoping the person coming in is her.

Okay, it's still ten minutes until seven, but still. He feels awful and regretful and like it was a completely stupid idea. He's been tapping his foot on the floor, tapping his thumb on the table, and every time he's nervous he drinks a lot, so he's already had to refill his coffee cup twice.

The cup on the other side of the table, hers, is already getting cold. He feels like he's been sitting here for hours, even though it's only been half of one.

He stares down at his watch, nerves building more and more as the long, red arm ticks away, leaving only seconds until the short arm ticks to seven. She doesn't seem the kind of person to be late, so now he's terrified.

He watches as it gets down to ten seconds.

_Ten_

It's way too close now.

_Nine_

She’s not coming.

_Eight_

She didn't show up to school, so maybe it's some sort of family crisis.

_Seven_

Either way, it can't be personal, right?

_Six_

She teases him yeah, but he doesn't feel like she actually hates him. But...what if she does?

_Five_

What if it's all a joke? What if she agreed to it, just so she could watch him from outside the window and laugh at him, calling him a loser?

_Four_

"Crossed eyes isn't a good look on you, Parker,"

He looks up, and there she is in front of him, now setting her backpack down on the table and sitting down.

"Oh, hey," He smiles, realizing how embarrassing it is that she walked in on him staring at his watch, knowing she's fully aware that he had been intently waiting on her. "I didn't, um, hear you come in."

"Clearly," She replies, then reaches over to grab his geometry book that's in front of him. "So where do you want to start?"

 


	11. Hope

“I’m gonna grab a coffee,” MJ tells Peter as he flips through his notebook, trying to find his notes.

“Oh, I got you one,” He looks up at her, then points at the coffee cup on her side of the table. “It might be cold, but...yeah.”

“You didn’t have to,” She sits back down, grabbing the cup and looking at it, before glancing at him.

“I know, but...it’s the least I can do,” He shrugs, giving a friendly smile. “I really appreciate what you’re doing for me and everything.”

“It’s no problem,” She takes a sip of her drink, shrugging.

After that they actually get into studying. It’s incredibly boring and Peter tries to tell a few jokes to lighten the mood, but they fall completely flat and MJ ends up just staring at him blankly, unamused. So he clears his throat, and looks back down at his paper, humiliated.

“So where were you yesterday? I finished the book and it was great and I wanted to talk to you, but you weren’t there you know, and I was curious…” He babbles on dumbly, tapping the back of his pencil on his textbook.

He wonders what she’ll say. He’s sure she doesn’t want to tell him about what she does every day, she seems to like keeping it a secret. He wishes she would, but he’s sure she won’t. But she also doesn’t seem like the lying type either, so he’s curious of what she’ll say.

He feels guilty for even knowing the truth right now, when in reality he shouldn’t.

“Just family stuff,” She tells him, not even looking up from her crazy-long equation she’s currently in the process of figuring out. He loves seeing her concentrate so intently on her school work, on her books...it makes him fall for her even more, and she’s not even trying.

“Oh, I see,” He nods, wishing he could concentrate on the actual reason why they're here. But schoolwork sounds too boring right now, especially since she’s here in front of him, and they’re alone, and he wants her to talk to him so badly it hurts. “Is everything okay?”

“You know, you never told me what you were doing the other night,” She ignores his question and turns her notebook around and sets it in front of him, the problem they were both working on scribbled and solved on the paper. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“Why should I tell you about that if you don’t tell _me_ anything?” He asks, sitting back and crossing his arms. “Why do you get to be secretive and I can’t?”

“Because you’re a massive dork that can’t keep his mouth shut, is why,” She fires back, tilting her head. He opens his mouth in pretend hurt, laughing a little.

“It’s just the truth,” She shrugs, smiling playfully. He breathes in and swallows thickly, feeling himself blushing a little.

“You’re a dork too, miss expert-at-geometry,” He raises an eyebrow, smiling.

“Nope,” She looks up, sitting back a little. “I’m not a dork. Technically, I’m more of a geek than a dork. You are both.”

“What? How?” He laughs, scoffing lightly and waiting for an explanation.

He’s not sure how, but he has finally somewhat pulled her from her “ignore Peter until it's immensely uncomfortable for everyone” mission. She's actually looking at him, semi engaging in conversation for once.

“I'm more academically inclined, but not necessarily socially inept, which is dorky. You're both a dork _and_ geek.” She explains, taking a sip. “Oh, and the fact that you were here early enough for my coffee to already be cold? Pretty dorky.”

“It wasn't...I wasn't...I just wanted to get a head start,” He shrugs, taking a sip and trying to brush it off like it was nothing. “I wasn't just like...waiting.”

“Mhmm,” she nods, flipping through her own geometry textbook. “So, the book? You read it?”

“Yeah, it was so good,” He gushes, talking animatedly about his favorite parts, how he felt about it.

“I'm glad you liked it,” She expresses, actually talking to him and exchanging thoughts about it. He feels like they're having a real, meaningful interaction, and he never wants it to end.

“So what do you like to do? Outside of school and reading, I mean.” He asks, his thumb absentmindedly smoothing across the paper on his cup. He feels like after the book conversation, she might be more willing to open up and be comfortable talking.

“Wow, you'd really ask anything just to get out of homework,” She laughs a little, scribbling in her notebook.

“No, it's not like that,” he furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head. “I wanna know. Seriously.”

She looks up at him then, her hair falling over her face. They sit there in silence for a few seconds, and Peter has to shift uncomfortably a little because of the awkwardness of her staring at him and him staring back, and neither saying anything.

“It's nine,” She closes her textbook, packing it away in her bag. His heart sinks then, not only because it didn't feel even _close_ to two hours, but also because she won't talk about herself in any way, shape, or form. They can talk about certain things, but it seems like anything that has to with her and her personal life is completely off limits.

“Here's your book,” he smiles a little at her, trying not to show the let down he feels. “I really, really appreciate this. I feel like I've learned a lot already, and I'm gonna, you know, study the notes you gave me.”

“Especially page two, problems seven and eight,” she tells him, not even looking up as she grabs the book and puts it in her bag.

“I will,” he nods, clearing his throat a little to try and act normal. “Oh, here's some money. We didn't talk about that really, so is twenty enough? I know it's not much, but-”

“It's fine, Peter,” she looks up and he gulps, his hand still extended towards her with the money in it. “You don't have to pay me or anything.”

“No, it's nothing, MJ, honestly,” he laughs lightly, insisting. “It's worth a lot more to me that even that. I'm sure you could use it for something.”

She takes a moment to think, and then she gives him a thankful nod, grabbing it and shoving it in her pocket. Their hands touch briefly, and he feels like his stupid, anxiety-ridden heart is going to beat out of his chest.

“Thanks, Parker,” she stands then and slings her bag over her shoulder. “I'll see you Monday.”

“Thanks to you, too,” he laughs nervously, smoothing his hand over his hair. He's suddenly conscious of his appearance, because she's looking at him and he’s scared that his hair is messy or there’s something on his face or his shirt is put on backwards and that she thinks he’s an idiot. “And yeah, um, Monday.”

“Weirdo,” she shakes her head, laughing a little, before walking through the coffee shop and leaving. He hears the bell above the door signal her departure, and he's stuck sitting there watching her go, with a huge, probably dorky, smile on his face.

* * *

 “I swear it was like I was just...floating. On a huge, fluffy cloud.” Peter smiles, looking at an excited, wide-eyed Aunt May that's sitting across the table from him.

“Well what were you talking about? Did she tell you anything about yourself?” May asks, propping her chin on her fist, listening intently.

“I tried to ask her about her hobbies and stuff, but she just sort of shuts down everytime I try. And we talked about the book and everything and she got really into it, but then when I tried to ask about herself, she just...she won't.” He sighs, biting the inside of his cheek, thinking. “I don't know what to do.”

“She seems really passionate about her books,” Aunt May hums in thought, “I think you should keep reading things she likes. It shows you trust her judgement, that you like the same things as her, and that you have similar beliefs. That seems really important to her. And it gives you something to talk about, too.”

“I will,” he nods, breathing in and clearing his head. “And it's not like I don't enjoy it, anyway. I really like the books I've read.”

“I'm so proud of you,” May sighs, smiling contently. “You've become such a good, smart, educated man.”

“Thanks,” he laughs, waving her off and playfully rolling his eyes.

“Don't worry about her not liking you, okay? She's a very private person, and I think you've made great progress. Just go slowly, and she'll open up to you when she's comfortable enough. Just be patient.”

“You're right,” he nods, breathing in deeply, processing everything. “I just hope she doesn’t see me in a bad way, you know? I just want her to know my intentions are good and everything. I don’t know.”

“I’m sure she knows that,” May smiles, putting her hand on top of his comfortingly. “I think everyone who knows you does. You have a good, pure energy, and people can feel that immediately when talking to you.”

“I hope so,” He laughs, scratching the back of his neck. “I really like her, May.”

“I can tell,” She smiles, sighing happily. “I can see it in your eyes.”

* * *

 “So?” Ned nudges Peter’s arm with a grin, walking to their first class of the new week.

Ned had a family trip over the weekend, so they hadn’t been in contact since before the study session friday. And Peter had forgotten to get a new book from MJ Friday night, so he was bored to _death_ the entirety of the weekend.

“So...what?” Peter asks, laughing a little as he approaches his locker, twisting the dial until he hears a click, then opens it.

“Sooooo did things go well with MJ friday night? Don’t pretend like it wasn’t the only thing you thought of this entire weekend, dude,” He laughs, and Peter breaks out into a huge smile, _dying_ to talk about it.

“Okay, so since I was bored the whole weekend, I pretty much overanalyzed every tiny little thing that happened,” he explains, breathing in and leaning back against his locker. “But we studied a good bit, then we got into talking about the book she gave me, which was great, by the way. But she was _actually_ participating in the conversation. It wasn’t just me talking like an idiot, for once. And she agreed with my points, and my favorite parts of the book, and then she told me about _her_ favorite parts, and talked about how she’s read it over, like, twenty times. But she was smiling and she was so happy to have someone to share her thoughts with, and….” He stops for a moment to breathe, and Ned’s smiling and shaking his head with a sigh.

“It was just really great. And I tried to ask her about her personal life a little and she...she wouldn’t. But still, I wasn’t exactly expecting her too anyway, you know? Oh, and when I tried to give her the money, she said she didn’t want it. I mean I gave it to her anyway, but that means she came to help _me_ with, like, absolutely no gain for herself. Don’t you think that means something?” He smiles excitedly, and Ned narrows his eyes, tilting his head.

“Dude, you’re going insane,” Ned shakes his head, laughing. “I can never leave you alone for that long again.”

“You don’t think any of that means anything?” Peter’s eyebrows furrow in sadness, and he sighs. “God, maybe I am going crazy.”

“Well, if that were any normal person, I’d say no,” Ned explains, holding the straps of his backpack as Peter closes his locker and they start walking. “But I’m _still_ surprised MJ even agreed to tutor you at all, let alone talk to you during it. So yeah, I think it’s safe to say that it’s pretty good progress.”

“Yes!” Peter pumps his fist, grinning. “I knew it.”

“Do you get a feeling she might like you back at all? I mean, a lot of the time it’s easy to notice, but with her...maybe not,” Ned shrugs, glancing over at Peter as they walk.

“I don’t think so, but I still-” Peter starts, but then he gets rudely interrupted by Flash, who steps in front of them and almost trips them in the process.

“We’re trying to get to class,” Peter sighs, trying to push past him. But Flash pushes his chest, making him stumble back and almost drop his books.

“Did I just hear that you have a crush on someone, Parker?” Flash crosses his arms, smiling evilly. “Who’s the unlucky girl?”

“None of your business, Flash,” Ned fires back, and Peter suddenly gets _terrified._ If he finds out about his crush on MJ, he’s completely screwed. He knows that, just to embarrass him, he would announce it to their entire class, MJ present. He would die of humiliation. He would probably just go ahead and switch schools, too. He would take a principal with a crossbow over that sort of embarrassment any day.

“Get to class, boys,” Miss Warren eyes them through the now-empty hallway, and Flash smiles that charming smile, acting like he was just chatting with friends.

“Coming, Miss Warren,” He replies politely, then turns back to them, making them both jump back suddenly with surprise.

“I’ll find out who it is, Parker,” He narrows his eyes, pointing his finger at him. “Trust me.”

Peter opens his mouth to reply, to make up a lie about it not being a crush at all, but Flash is already walking away, disappearing through a door to a classroom.

Peter and Ned look at each other then, frozen in place, their eyes wide. “Ned?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m so screwed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you guys for the feedback!!
> 
> P.S. - Next week is going to be crazy for me work wise. I promise I will update as much as possible, but it may not be completely on schedule. I'm sorry, I hate being unreliable in that way, but there's not much anything I can do :( It should go back to the normal schedule the week after! Thank you guys!


	12. Company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being so extremely patient with these chapters! I'm trying very hard to keep it updated, so I hope you guys enjoy :)

“There’s no way he can figure that out, Peter,” Ned assures him, whispering from the chair next to him. “He’s just trying to scare you. Seriously, you have to stop freaking out about it.”

“We have to be extra careful from now on, okay? Seriously, he can’t find out.” Peter sighs running his hand through his hair in worry. “I know he’d tell her, or use it to embarrass me, or both. Oh my God, _why_ is this happening?”

Then they get “shhhh’d” by the teacher, as usual, and Peter sighs, thinking of all the awful ways this could turn out.

* * *

 When lunch rolls around, Peter, like always, is nervous.

“Are you ever going to _not_ be nervous around her?” Ned laughs, watching Peter look around the room anxiously for her, tapping his finger on the table.

“I don't think so,” Peter laughs, finally spotting her. His smile drops and he sits up straighter, breathes in, and looks at Ned, pretending to be deep in conversation.

“Dude, you’re freaking weird,” Ned shakes his head, sipping out of his milk carton and not playing along. Peter rolls his eyes.

“Do you want to come sit over here with us, MJ?” Peter asks, rubbing his sweaty hands together nervously.

“I’m actually just trying to read, so…” She sighs, not even looking up from it.

“We won’t bother you,” Peter speaks again, gulping. “Or talk or anything.”

“Hmm, doubtful,” She replies with an exhale, and Peter sits there, defeated. He just turns back in his seat, and eats his food without another word. He doesn’t want to admit it to himself, but his feelings are sort of kind of hurt.

A few minutes go by in complete, awkward silence, before Peter sees her moving from the corner of his eye. He looks over, and she’s putting her book away. Now he’s even more upset, because she probably hates him, and he was just trying to be nice, and he still isn’t sure what he should/shouldn’t say to her.

But instead of leaving like he thought she was doing, she pushes her backpack and lunch tray down the table, setting it next to Ned’s. She sits down in the seat beside him, almost directly across from Peter on the table. She looks up at him for a moment, her dark, curly hair in her face like always, before she looks back down at her food.

“How was you guys’ weekend?” She asks, staring down at her food even when she eats it. Peter and Ned glance at each other with wide eyes, both completely confused and somewhat taken aback. Then Peter gulps and they both turn towards her again, trying to find words.

“I went on a family trip thing,” Ned replies casually, thankfully giving Peter time to come up with something. “Kinda sucked but it was better than being at home I guess.”

Michelle nods, then looks up at Peter. He’s trying to think of what to say, and he already feels the nervous babble about to spill out. He breathes in, and composes himself as much as possible before speaking.

“I didn’t do much,” he shrugs, his heart thumping like it always does when she talks to him, looks at him, or is even _near_ him. “I just went over those notes you gave me, you know, and worked on that. Oh, and I completely forgot to get a new book from you so I was especially bored from that.”

“I brought one for you actually,” She tells him, opening her backpack and going through the endless amount of books that seem to be in there. Then she finds it, brushes her hand over the front of it, then hands it over to him. It’s “The Book Thief” by Markus Zusack. “I thought you might like it.”

“Oh, isn’t there a movie for this? I think I remember it coming out but I never watched.” He looks at the cover, front to back. He tries not to show how much he's _freaking out_ over the fact that she consciously thought of him while at home, and considered which book he would like best. He feels like he could pass out.

“Yeah, I think so,” She nods, pushing her hair back. “I never watched either. I don't watch many movies.”

“What? Movies are great,” Ned sighs, shaking his head in disappointment.

“I just like reading more,” She shrugs as she takes a bite of her food.

“Well have you seen Star Wars?” Peter asks, trying to contribute to the conversation.

“A movie series with _only_ token people of color, and the only women in it are only there for the “romance” plot lines and to sit safely by while all of the men fight and shoot at each other?” She asks, looking between both of them. “No thanks.”

“I guess...I guess I’ve never looked at it like that,” Peter gulps, actually feeling bad now. “Well, the new one has a female lead, and both of the side characters are people of color. Which I thought was pretty cool.”

“Yeah, I guess,” She nods, shrugging her shoulders.

“Plus, the other ones are like, old,” Ned cuts in, explaining to her with a laugh. “And yeah they’re sexist and racist, but once you get past that and admit it to yourself, the storyline is actually really good.”

“And Leia and Padme are both badasses,” Peter smiles, feeling more and more comfortable the longer the conversation goes.

“You guys are such losers,” She smiles a little, and Peter’s heart warms and he feels a huge, genuine smile spread across his face. For the first time, she’s saying it in a (sort of) nice way.

Suddenly he wants to ask her to if she wants to come over and watch Star Wars or the Book Thief or _any_ movie at all, but the bell rings. It’s not like he had enough courage to do it anyway, but the bell felt like a direct sign _not_ to. 

“Bye,” She tells them, and before he can even tell her bye back, she’s leaving the table with the tray in her hand, already on her way to class.

“God,” Ned looks at him, shaking his head. “That was so weird.”

* * *

 On Tuesday morning, Peter wakes up with the most energy he’s had in what feels like forever. He had a great day helping people as Spider-Man yesterday, and then he came home, took a shower, and relaxed as he started the book MJ gave him. On top of that, he hasn’t heard anything else from Flash. So between that and the fact that they’re going to get to study together again, he’s feeling great.

He’s in an _amazing_ mood, and even waking up (which usually feels like a chore) feels good and refreshing and exciting. He gets to spend time with her, and after yesterday’s lunch conversation, he feels extremely hopeful about it.

He listens to his “MJ” playlist on his way to school, which includes about fifty songs about love and crushes and (embarrassingly enough) unrequited love. He has to constantly keep himself from smiling stupidly on the subway because he can feel everyone around him giving him dirty looks.

When lunch comes around, just to heighten his mood even more, they don’t even have to ask MJ to sit by them; she just automatically gets her food, and sits beside them as if it’s already a tradition. Peter is sure he’s having one of the best days of his life, and he refuses to let anything dampen his spirits.

“Are we still on for tonight?” Peter asks, smiling warmly at MJ as she pokes around at her food.

“Yeah, we are,” She nods, giving him an (almost) smile, nodding.

“Great,” He grins, fully aware that he’s making himself look like a complete idiot. He feels Ned’s foot kick him under the table to say “stop smiling like a weirdo” but, as hard as he tries, he can’t. He’s way too happy.

Until…

“So what’s your opinion on Spider-Man?” Ned blurts out, and Peter’s so shocked for a moment that he feels like it was just a weird daydream.

“Spider-Man?” MJ asks, looking at Ned, then turning back to her food. “I don’t know. I think he’s pretty cool.”

“In what way?” Ned asks, and now Peter has to kick _Ned’s_ leg, because he can’t _believe_ he would say something like that. Well, he can, but he never gets used to it.

“He seems really genuine,” She shrugs her shoulders. “Well, first of all, he saved you guys from the elevator. Plus he seems like he's out there for the right reasons; not just to get fame and attention.”

“What makes you think that?” Ned asks, and Peter feels himself almost choke on his food.

“I've met him.” She glances between them, then back down at her food, shrugging “A few times.”

Peter is in complete shock right now. He never thought she would admit she ever even met him, let alone admit she _liked_ him and agreed with his actions.

“Yeah, we saw you watching his videos that one time in class,” Ned laughs, and Peter can't even find words. He probably looks like a complete weirdo, but he can't even gather his thoughts enough to worry about it.

“You spying on me?” She asks, narrowing her eyes.

“No, of course not,” Peter laughs and cuts in, refusing to let Ned speak another word. “The red and blue sort of just...stuck out.”

“Hmm,” She hums in suspicion, and he chews the inside of his cheek nervously.

“So have you read anything new lately?” Peter swallows thickly, trying desperately to change the topic.

Then, of course, the bell rings.

“Gotta go,” She tells them, grabbing her bag and tray and, like clockwork, following the sea of people back to class.

“Dude, what the hell was that?!” Peter looks at Ned as soon as she’s out of earshot, freaking out. “You can’t just...just ask her about Spider-Man!”

“Dude,” Ned sighs, smiling calmly. “If we _ask_ her about Spider-Man, the less suspicious she’s going to be about _you_ being Spider-Man. Seriously, think about it: who would actively talk about their secret identity? It would defeat the whole purpose of having one. So the more we _talk_ about Spider-Man…”

“...The less she’ll even _consider_ that I might be involved,” Peter nods, both of them grabbing their trays. Peter safely puts the book she gave him in his backpack as they go to class.

“Exactly,” Ned smiles, nodding proudly.

“Genius, Ned,” Peter grins, patting him on the back. “What would I do without my guy in the chair?”

“Crash and burn,” Ned tells him, shaking his head with a sigh. “Like, literally, you would have _crashed and burned_ that night w-”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Peter laughs as they enter the classroom, rolling his eyes playfully.

* * *

 Realizing he doesn’t want to wait to be Spider-Man until tomorrow, he decides to let himself suit up and at _least_ get home from school that way. So he takes his usual precautions: stuffs his normal clothes in his backpack, swings home, looks out for anyone who needs help, and by the time he gets home he has to go in an alley and change back into his normal clothes. Then he greets Aunt May as he walks in, telling her about his day.

Then after telling her all about every single little interaction, he tells her he has to get a quick shower and get ready for their study session.

He’s all sweaty and tired and ready to shower as he finally gets to the bathroom, stripping his clothes off and getting in.

He uses his shampoo bottle to sing all of his favorite songs loudly, happily, thinking about how perfect this day has been. And now he’s about to get to see her again, one-on-one, and for once he feels more excited than nervous about it.

So he gets out of the shower then, unsure of what to wear. So he goes into his room, only in boxers and socks, humming happily as he searches through his closet for something to wear.

“Okay, May, which one looks better?” He slides into the kitchen with his socks, holding both shirts side-by-side by their hangers. “I like the blue better, but I feel like the red is more...I don’t know, mature. What do you think?”

“Actually, Peter-” She starts, and he sighs.

“You’re right, you’re right - the red is better,” He laughs, feeling like nothing in the entire world could make a dent in his mood. “Thanks, Aunt May.”

“I personally like the blue myself,” He hears a voice from the other side of the room, and his head whips to the side, looking at the source.

MJ is there, leaning against the counter with a raised eyebrow as he stands there like a complete idiot. Oh, and an almost completely _naked_ idiot, too.

Okay, maybe there’s _one_ thing that could make a dent in his mood.

 


	13. Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad I get to update today!! I loved writing this one :)

Aunt May is biting her lip, making an “I’m so sorry” face. Peter gulps, looking between both of them, feeling like this is a dream; it _has_ to be a dream, because how could she possibly know his address? And why would she be here? Especially when they’re supposed to be meeting up in only two hours?

“What...what’s going on?” Peter asks, covering his body up as best as he can with his two shirts. MJ laughs and sighs, shaking her head. She’s apparently very entertained by this. “Why are you here?”

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Aunt May smiles, and Peter wants so badly to say “no, please don’t” but she’s already walking out, and he’s panicking, and he feels like his lungs are about to collapse.

“Where’s your backpack?” She asks, walking past him to his room.

“What? Why?” He breathes out, following her. She looks around his room then, and suddenly it hits him: she knows. She’s looking for his backpack because she thinks his suit is in there, and she wants to prove it once and for all.

“I’m looking for something,” She tells him, and he sets his shirts down on his bed, standing there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Should he make her get out? No way. Grab the backpack first, and throw it out the window? Of course not, that would make him look a million times more suspicious than he already does. God, this is awful.

“Here,” She finds it in the corner of the room, opening the zipper. Her back is to him as she goes through it, and his heart is racing like crazy as he pushes his hair back, knowing she’s about to finally uncover his secret with full proof. He’s freaking out.

“Aha!” She says, and he puts his face in his hands, sighing.

“How did you figure out? I know you’re like, a genius, but-”

“-God, I thought I had lost it,” She turns around, breathing out and clutching something against her chest. “Sorry for barging in but I was worried sick.”

“What?” He asks, completely confused. “What is that?”

She holds her hand out then, dangling that same necklace she beat the robber up for from her hand.

“Oh,” He gulps, laughing nervously.

“What did _you_ think I was talking about?” She crosses her arms, now suspicious of him.

“Oh, nothing,” He waves her off, pretending to not know what she’s talking about. “I was just...joking.”

By now she’s walked over to his bed and sat down, staring down at her necklace. Then she looks up at him suddenly, and he notices her eyes scan over him in a quick, barely-even-noticeable moment. He’s sure it’s more in a “look at this weirdo still standing here in only his boxers” sort of way than a “checking him out” way, anyway, so it’s not even at all flattering, either.

“Oh, God,” He breathes out again, scrambling his way to his dresser as he suddenly remembers that he’s _only_ in boxers and socks. He grabs a t-shirt and some sweatpants, and then pulls them on as he starts stuttering out, “I’m so sorry. I completely forgot I was...you know.”

“Almost naked?” She asks, not even a hint of humor in her tone. He wants to die.

Finally he pulls his clothes on, and uncomfortably sits in his swivel chair, clasping his hands together.

“How do you hide that body under all of those nerdy science shirts, anyway?” She asks, staring him down. His heart is pounding.

“What do you mean?” He asks, his voice at an embarrassingly-high pitch. Was that a compliment?

“Nothing,” She shakes her head, looking back down at her locket. “Loved your rendition of “Walking On Sunshine,” by the way.”

“You...you heard that?” He swallows thickly, completely sure he’s going to pass out from embarrassment. That’s the song he had been singing in the shower, and humming in his room before he knew about her being there.

“Of course I did,” She tells him, smiling a little. Even _she_ knows it’s embarrassing.

“Look, can you just forget this entire night? It’s embarrassing enough without you rubbing it in my face,” He laughs nervously, looking down at his hands.

“It wasn’t embarrassing,” She assures him, and he looks up at her, suddenly hopeful. “Extremely humiliating, maybe, but…”

“Shut up,” He laughs, shaking his head. She laughs too. “So what’s the necklace thing all about?”

“Oh, it was...it was my grandma’s,” she explains, looking down at it. “Before she passed, you know. We were really, really close, and this is about all I have left of her. I forgot I had left it in that book since I had just read it, and I...I thought I’d lost it.”

“Oh,” He nods, not completely sure what to say. He sighs, looking at her sadly. “I’m sorry.” She doesn't look like she she wants to talk about it much, so he changes the subject. “You could have called and I would have checked; you didn't have to come all the way over. How did you know where I lived anyway?”

“I don’t have your number so I couldn’t. But I had to hack into the school’s system to get your address,” She shrugs, as if was the easiest thing she’s ever done. “What? They have the worst security ever; it wasn’t even hard. Plus your apartment is closer to my house than the coffee shop is, so it was on my way.”

“Kinda creepy of you to go through _all_ of that just to get my address,” He smiles a little, crossing his arms. “And I'm sure May’s number is in the system too, so you _could_ have called.”

“Shut up, Peter,” She laughs, throwing a pillow at him. “I was just...in a hurry. I thought I had lost it, and I was kind of freaking out, so a phone call wouldn't have really put me at ease.”

“I get it,” He nods, biting his lip in thought. “I’m glad you did.”

After that it sort of gets awkward because she doesn’t reply, and his last comment sort of kind of comes off in an “I like you and want you to be here” sort of way, and now they’re sitting here in complete silence.

“Aunt May’s making spaghetti for dinner,” He speaks up, finally breaking the unbearable silence. “You can stay if you want, and we can just study here. It doesn't matter either way, but-”

“Yeah, that's fine,” she nods, tucking her necklace in her bag. “Spaghetti sounds great.”

“Okay,” he smiles, looking down at the floor just because he's so happy. “There's not much room in here so we can go in the kitchen and sit at the dining room table if you want.”

“Let's do it,” she stands up, following him in there with her bag.

“I think I finally got that section down,” he explains, flipping through his notebook to show her his work.

Not only are they sitting beside each other at the table, but every time one of them moves, their arms touch. He can hardly breathe.

He wonders: does she feel it? If not, how is it possible for him to feel so much right now, and her feel nothing at all? It _can't_ be possible.

“Looks good,” she nods, evaluating all of the work. “I like the technique you used to find the three in problem eight.”

“Oh, thanks,” he nods, turning to look at her. She's scanning his notes thoughtfully, biting her lip as she flips through the pages. His head is being propped up by his fist, which is on his cheek as he stares at her. He's not trying to, and if he wasn't entirely mesmerized right now, he would realize how weird it is. But...he _is_ completely mesmerized by her, and he _can't_ stop staring. She's so smart and funny and beautiful and interesting and-

“I'm gonna start dinner, okay? Don't mind me,” May walks past, grinning. Then, upon noticing MJ is completely enveloped in her schoolwork, May looks at Peter and mouths, “She’s so smart! And beautiful!” So Peter grins and mouths back, “I know!”

“Thanks, Miss Parker,” Michelle looks up for a brief moment, smiling nicely, completely oblivious to their silent conversation.

“Anytime,” May smiles happily, walking into the kitchen. “And you can just call me May.”

“Your aunt’s really cool,” MJ tells Peter, still looking down at her paper, her textbook.

“Yeah, she's great,” Peter nods, their arms brushing again. He's smiling down at his paper, overwhelmed with the fact that she seems decently comfortable around him now, and she's in his house, (slightly) opening to him about her grandma, the necklace. And now their arms are touching, and she's helping him with homework, and all feels right in the world.

* * *

 “Who's ready for some spaghetti and garlic bread?” Aunt May comes in an hour later, holding a bowl of spaghetti and a plate with stacked up garlic bread.

“That smells great,” Peter rubs his hands together, getting up and grabbing plates and utensils from the kitchen. He sets them all a place at the table, and MJ thanks him as he sits down.

“I'm so glad to finally meet _the_ MJ,” May smiles, sitting across from them. She twirls her fork around her spaghetti, taking a bite and waiting for an answer. “Peter has told me about you.”

Peter looks at her with wide eyes, trying to silently tell her to stop embarrassing him. She doesn't notice.

“Oh has he?” MJ turns to him, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I haven't,” Peter turns to his aunt, shaking his head. “Well, just that we’re in decathlon together, you know. That’s it.”

“This spaghetti tastes great, May,” MJ smiles at her, not replying to Peter at all. For once he’s actually glad, because he _really_ doesn’t want to have to address May’s embarrassing comment ever again.

“Oh, thank you! That’s so sweet!” May pushes her glasses up with the back of her hand, grinning. “Peter usually makes the spaghetti, but I decided I would rake it up tonight since you two were studying.”

“You cook?” MJ turns to him, actually looking a little surprised. Aunt May smiles at Peter, silently saying “You’re welcome!”

“Um, kinda. Not much, but I can cook some stuff and uh, I just…” He stops, breathes in, and laughs a little. “I mean, yeah. Yeah, a little.”

She nods, then turns back to her food. He takes in a long, much needed breath, discreetly wiping the nervous sweat from his forehead.

“He’s just being modest,” May rolls her eyes, leaning into MJ like she’s telling her a secret. “He’s a _great_ cook.”

“Maybe you could cook for me sometime then, Parker,” MJ shrugs, smiling a little. She must know exactly what having an embarrassing parent-like figure is like.

“Stop it,” He shakes his head, blushing and smiling down at his plate, hiding his face with his hand and nudging his shoulder against hers playfully.

 _“You_ stop it,” She laughs, nudging him back. He looks over at her, grinning dumbly, and sees her shake her head and laugh, pushing her hair behind her ear as she pokes her fork into her noodles.

Then he shakes his head, forcing himself out of his reverie as he swallows thickly, his smile fading. This is getting so hard to deal with.

Aunt May asks her questions after that, like what she plans to do after high school, why she decided to join the decathlon team, etc. Nothing more than Peter already knows, really, and he’s glad May didn’t try to dig _too_ deep and make it uncomfortable.

“Need help?” Peter asks, standing up from the table as May starts cleaning up.

“You can just grab the plates and bring them to the kitchen so you two can get back to studying,” She tells him, and MJ thanks him once again as he takes her plate. He grabs the others too, and May follows behind him into the kitchen, walking to the sink. They both turn and make sure she isn’t looking at them. Then May turns the sink on, allowing them to talk without being heard.

“I love her!” May grins, grabbing Peter’s hands with happiness. “Peter, you can’t mess this up, okay?”

“Wow, thanks for the words of encouragement,” He laughs, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, and turning to make sure MJ isn’t eavesdropping. He sees her grab her books back and set them on the table in front of her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” She laughs, putting her hand on his shoulder. “I just mean...I think she’s great. I can definitely tell what you see in her.”

“Yeah, she’s...she’s amazing,” He laughs, rubbing his nervous hands together slowly, thoughtfully. “Now I gotta go before she starts getting suspicious.”

“Have fun,” May smiles, then turns the sink off. Then she speaks up, talking to both of them. “Okay, I think this old lady is going to meditate in her room tonight and stay out of you guys’ way.”

MJ turns around then, giving her a small smile and wave.

“Love you, May,” Peter laughs, hugging her. “Thanks again for dinner.”

“No problem,” She ruffles his hair, waving back at MJ. “Don’t forget to take a well-deserved break every now and then.” She tells them, then walks out of the kitchen.

Peter clasps his hands at his sides, closing his eyes and breathing in, before walking back to the table and sitting down next to MJ.

“Ready to start cross sections?” She asks, flipping through her book. “You got the other part down.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” He nods, slightly breathless. He hopes she doesn’t notice. “I’m feeling pretty confident about it now, thankfully.”

“Well, I hope so,” She shrugs, now writing down a full equation _while_ keeping a conversation up. Then she hands them the pencil and paper for him to solve it. “Especially since we have a test on it tomorrow.”

“What?!” Peter opens his mouth in surprise, swallowing thickly. “No, no, no. No way.”

“Are you serious? She’s told us about it every day for the past week almost.” She looks at him strangely. “And I know we’re in different periods, but we have the same announcements and everything. Seriously, Peter, you didn’t know?”

“I guess I’ve just been...I don’t know, distracted lately. Oh, God,” He runs his fingers through his hair, starting to freak out. “You know what? I’m just gonna fail. It isn’t like it’s my entire future that depends on this or anything, and-”

“Relax, Peter,” She laughs and punches his arm lightly, which he assumes is her special way of consoling someone. “I’ll stay a few extra hours. We’ll study, I’ll help, and we’ll make sure we cover all the material before tomorrow, okay?”

“You...you’d do that?” He gulps, looking in her eyes, silently pleading.

“I guess I have nothing better to do,” She shrugs, reaching up to tie her hair back. “Well? Are you going to get started or just keep staring at me?”

“Oh, I wasn’t...I wasn’t staring,” He laughs, turning towards his paper and grabbing his pencil, getting to work. “Thanks, MJ.”

“You guys have a coffee maker here?” She asks, and Peter looks up at her. “We’re gonna need it.”


	14. Too Late

“If I look at one more number or shape I think I might die,” Peter sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose with a laugh. It’s half past ten now, and they’ve been at it for almost four hours straight.

“Yeah, we definitely need a break,” She gets up from her seat, filling up her cup of coffee. “Refill?”

“I don’t think I need any more,” He replies, holding his hand up to display the shakiness of it. “I don’t drink coffee much if you can’t tell.”

“Weak,” She shakes her head, smiling a little as she starts sipping on her third cup of it. “What about at the coffee shop the other day? You had like three cups.”

“It was decaf,” He shrugs, a little ashamed. “May says I have too much energy without coffee already.”

“Oh,” She laughs, nodding. “So what do you wanna do on this break?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” He shrugs, looking up at her while she comes to sit back down beside him.

“Well, you’re supposed to do something productive,” She sets the mug down on the table, rubbing away the coffee stain on the brim of it. “Like exercise, listen to music, keep a stimulating conversation going. Although I’m sure you’re incapable of the last one.”

“Hey,” He laughs, but he can tell that she’s joking with him so it doesn’t hurt his feelings _as_ bad.

“Kidding,” She replies, smiling a little. He notices her purposely wipe the smile from her face then, like she’s actively trying not to. “Sort of.”

“Okay,   _you_ are the one who is like, the most mysterious person in the world,” He argues but keeps a light tone, smiling as he crosses his arms to make a point. “So you can’t act like _I’m_ the one who can’t keep a stimulating conversation going.”

“I think we both know a “stimulating conversation” is one that can keep a intellectual beat on both ends. Just because I don’t share things about my personal life doesn’t mean I can’t keep a stimulating conversation, Peter.” She mirrors his movements by crossing her arms too, narrowing her eyes at him and waiting for an answer.

“Do you really have to make me look like a complete idiot _every single_ conversation we have?” Peter half laughs, half groans, shaking his head. The smarter she comes off, the harder this gets for him. It makes him like her even more.

“Oh, I haven’t even _tried_ to make you look like an idiot,” She laughs, sighing with amusement. “Besides, I know you aren’t one anyway, mister top-of-his-class-at-Midtown.” She replies, mocking his earlier comment he had made at her.

“What? How did you even know that?” He looks down at his pencil, chewing the inside of his cheek. He hates being put on the spot.

“I was in the school system, remember?” She shrugs, turning to take another sip of her coffee.

“What if you got caught?” Peter laughs, but internally he’s actually a little worried.

“I won’t,” She replies confidently, not even the least bit worried. “Besides, I take precautions.”

“Like proxy’s? IP switchers?” He asks, curious. “I don’t really know about it, but Ned’s all into that stuff.”

“Yeah, yeah,” She nods, propping her long legs on the side of his chair. “Plus I slip into their server, so they could only detect I was there if I went in and changed something - which I don’t. Well, except that time I upped all of the low income students’ lunch credits. But that’s it.”

“You did that?” He laughs, reaching up to give her a high five. “That’s awesome.”

“Yeah,” She nods, smiling at the thought. “And they never even caught on.”

There’s a brief silence while Peter tries to decide whether he should try to dig deeper or not. It's hard to tell what she's okay with and what she'll shut down on.

“So do you have a plan? After Midtown, I mean?” He asks, trying to casually ease it into the conversation so it doesn’t scare her off.

“I’m...gonna go into social work,” She tells him, and he sees her swallowing thickly and bite her lip. He knows it’s hard for her to talk about herself, so this is a huge step and he isn’t going to take it for granted. “I just want to help people, you know?”

“Yeah,” He breathes out, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest. “I know. I think that’s so great.”

Now they’re looking at each other in the dimly-lit dining room of his quiet apartment, and she’s so beautiful and smart and caring and funny and interesting that he can’t believe he gets to see this amazing person every day. Let alone have her in his apartment, talking to him.

“What about you?” She mutters under her breath, seeming to be hesitant to ask.

“I, uh...I’m not sure yet,” He tells her truthfully, trying to discreetly catch his breath so she doesn’t notice. “I want to help people too, but…” He stops himself, thinking: _“but I already do since I’m Spider-Man.”_

“Don’t worry too much about it,” She shrugs, looking away from his eyes. “You’ve still got two years.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” He laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I guess we should get back to studying,” She clears her throat, ending the conversation short. She’s probably extremely uncomfortable by now, so he doesn’t mind. He’s just glad that she’s opening up.

“Let’s do it,” He scoots his chair back to the table, taking in a long breath before pouring himself back into the world of numbers and shapes.

“Oh, and Peter?” She nudges his arm slightly, and he turns to look at her. “That was a _decently_ stimulating conversation.”

* * *

“Oh no. No, no, no,” MJ suddenly puts her hand over her mouth, looking at the screen of her phone. “I have to go.”

“What? Why?” Peter asks in confusion, before he looks down at his watch.

“It’s half past one,” She shakes her head, tucking her hair back as she gathers all of her books. “My mom is probably worried sick. She tried calling _twice_ and I didn’t even...” Her voice trails off into an annoyed sigh.

“Well…how far away do you live?” He asks, trying to help her put away her things.

“It’s only a half hour walk,” She explains, shoving her books in her bag desperately.

“Half an hour? It’s the middle of the night, MJ, you can’t-” He gulps, stopping himself. “That’s dangerous in the _daytime,_ but right now? Just...just let me walk you, okay?” He tells her, walking over and grabbing himself a jacket.

“What?” She stops her movements, turning to look at him. “Then _you_ would have to walk _back_ alone. That’s an awful idea. Plus, I can take care of myself perfectly fine.”

“I know, I wasn’t saying that, it’s just…” He breathes in, trying not to freak out, trying to come up with an idea. He runs his fingers through his hair, genuinely worried about her as he watches her zip her bag up and start walking towards the door. “Just...just stay over here.”

She stops in her tracks, probably completely creeped out. His heart is racing and he immediately looks down at the floor, because he knows it was a huge mistake. He didn’t even really mean to _say_ it, it just slipped out accidentally.

“What?” She turns around, crossing her arms. Is she mad? He can’t tell. He can never fully read her facial expressions, and right now, it feels like an awful ability to be at loss of.

“If you wanted to, you know, stay here for the night...you could.” He elaborates a little, feeling like a complete idiot. “You could text your mom and tell her you’re staying with a friend, and you could just ride with me to school. I know Aunt May wouldn’t mind.”

She's standing there, thinking. Is she actually considering it? He thought she would want to hit him just for asking.

“I…” She looks down and shakes her head, before turning back around to the door. “I don’t want to be an inconvenience. I’ll just go.”

“No, no way,” He grabs her hand to turn her around, and she does. He gulps as she looks down at her hand, seeing it clasped with his. Then she looks back up at him, narrowing her eyes. He pulls their hands apart then, laughing nervously like he hadn’t even meant to do it at all. “Sorry, I just...you're not inconveniencing us. Like, at all. It’s seriously fine, and if that’s the only reason you don’t want to, then I just have to say you’re completely wrong. And I wouldn’t have offered if I had thought that, you know? And-”

He rambles on, looking ridiculously annoying, probably. Halfway through his pointless, nervous speech, she crosses her arms and smiles a little, like “you can stop now.”

“Sorry,” He breathes in deeply, blushing. She knows it was embarrassing too, and he’s sure that if he wasn’t being nice to her right now, she would definitely be making fun of him relentlessly.

“God, that even got embarrassing for _me,_ Parker,” She shakes her head, and he blushes an even deeper red. He doesn’t even want to _look_ at her he’s so embarrassed. “And you say you aren’t a dork.”

Okay, it definitely doesn’t matter if he was being nice or not - she’s obviously going to make fun of him anyway and he should have known that.

“Fine, maybe you’re right,” He replies, trying not to let his hurt feelings show. He tries to laugh it off like it was nothing, but he completely forgets that she can see _right through_ him.

She seems to have picked up on his humiliation, and suddenly the mood in the room lightens. She lowers her shoulders in a relaxed motion, instantly changing her demeanor.

“I’ll stay,” She tells him then, and he looks up at her, looking between her eyes, trying to see if this is some sort of joke or not.

“Really?” He asks, forcing himself not to smile. He doesn’t want to look _excited_ about it since that would be weird, but he does want to show how relieved he is.

“Don’t think this means I consider you cool now,” She pushes his shoulder gently and laughs, and he can tell she's trying to make up for embarrassing him. In her own, “embarrass him even more now” sort of way.

“No, of course not,” he holds up his hands in defense, laughing.

“Good,” she smiles, crossing her arms.

They stand there awkwardly then, unsure of what to do or say.

“Do you mind if I take a quick shower?” She asks, rocking back and forth on her heels, holding her arms behind her back.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” He nods, pushing his hair back with his palm as he leads the way to his room. “Do you want some…some clothes? I have some shirts and shorts or pants and...yeah, you can just grab whatever from my drawers.”

“And what makes you think I’d want to wear _your_ clothes?” She crosses her arms, giving him that “are you serious?” look.

“You don’t have to! I mean, I was just offering, you know, for bed. It’s not…” He gulps, his mind going completely blank.

“I’m kidding,” She laughs at him, and he shakes his head and taking in a relieved breath.

“You have to stop doing that to me,” He laughs too, going to sit on his bed.

“These?” She points at his dresser, and he nods.

“Yeah, all of my clothes are sort of just...stuffed in there,” He laughs, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. “You can just grab whatever.”

And she does. She grabs a few things, then turns towards him, tucking her hair back.

“Oh, the bathroom is the first door on the right down the hall.” He smiles and nods at her, watching as she pulls a hair tie from her curly, messy hair. He swallows thickly. “You can use May’s bathroom stuff if you want. Or mine. I don’t care either way.”

“Thanks,” She nods, slowly walking backwards out of his doorway, then disappears through the hall. As soon as she’s out of sight, he breathes out a major sigh of relief, falling back on his bed with sprawled out arms.

“Why can’t I just act normal?” He groans under his breath, annoyed with himself.

* * *

Ten minutes later he hears the shower turn off, and he starts panicking. First off he sprays his bed down with febreze, already knowing she’s going to make a comment about sleeping on a “sweaty boys” bed. Then he tidies his room up, and makes a point to tuck his spidey suit deep underneath all of his books in his backpack, then he tiptoes into the living room and sets it on the couch he’ll be sleeping on. Not that he thinks she’ll snoop, but he doesn’t even want to risk having it in the same _room_ with her if he doesn’t have to.

After he gets back in his room, he hears her switch the faucet on and off a few times while brushing her teeth. He takes in long, deep breaths, sits at his desk, and pretends to be doing homework as he waits for her.

“Can I have a blanket for the couch?” He hears her ask from the doorway in a whisper, and he swivels his chair so fast that he slams his knee into his desk.

She’s standing in his doorway now, looking at him. Her hair is wet and messy, her curls shaping her face perfectly. And she’s wearing these cute, vintage-looking glasses that he’s never seen before, too. The oversized science-nerd t-shirt she picked out is hanging off of her tall, angular figure, and she’s wearing a pair of his plaid green boxers, which show off her long, still-shining-from-the-shower legs. Then he notices that one of her feet is hooked around the other, her ankles covered with a pair of black socks.

He feels like he’s going to hyperventilate. His mind is going completely blank. He can’t even think of _one word_ in the entire English language to reply to her.

“The bed?” He stutters out like a question for some reason, knowing full well it doesn’t make any sense.

“Um...what?” She laughs a little, obviously confused.

“I mean you can...you can sleep on my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.” He tells her, wishing Ned was here right now. He can always diffuse one of Peter’s embarrassing situations before he digs himself too deep.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” She steps in, pushing her glasses up with the back of her hand. His heart is going to explode, he’s sure of it. He tries to stand up from his chair but his legs are all wobbly and jello-like, and he’s trying _so hard_ not to look weird, that it’s making him look even _weirder._

“It’s fine,” He laughs, awkwardly standing against the side of his bunk bed, crossing his arms. “I don’t mind sleeping on the couch. Promise.”

“Thanks, Peter,” She replies, standing there in the middle of the room. They’re both just looking at each other.

“No problem,” He answers quickly, running his words together to form an incomprehensible sentence.

“Sorry about the boxers but...you sort of have short legs,” She shrugs, looking down at them. He instantly feels self conscious, even though that wasn’t her purpose at all. “I didn’t think I could fit in your sweatpants. Plus I actually thought these were just shorts until I put them on."

“No, it’s perfectly fine,” He waves her off, understanding. He really wants to change the subject now. “I, uh, didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“I don’t normally,” She tells him, tucking her hair back. “I wear contacts every day, but I take them out at night. Eye doctor says it’s all the reading.”

“Ohh, I _see,_ ” He smiles, attempting to make a joke. He mentally scolds himself immediately after the words slip out.

“Very funny, Parker,” She shakes her head, actually smiling at one his jokes for once. He feels decently accomplished.

He’s standing there now, trying not to be so tense, so awkward, but it’s really hard right now not too. “I guess I’m gonna go to bed. It’s two already.”

“We’re gonna feel awful in the morning,” She laughs a little, and he does too.

The whispers and late night talking and sleepiness they have going on is making this so awkwardly-intimate. Not even in a romantic way, either, but more like a “there’s so much weird tension that I have no idea what’s even going on right now” sort of way.

“I’ve done worse while reading at night,” He responds and she agrees, telling him she’s stayed up all night before to finish a book. Then, once again, they’re standing there with nothing to say.

“Well...um, goodnight,” He starts walking towards the door to walk past her, but she thought he was going the _other_ way, so they almost bump into each other.

“Oh, sorry,” He breathes out, now attempting to go the other way. But she had gone the other way at the same time, which gets them the same result as before.

“Okay, I’ll stand right here so you can go,” She laughs quietly, running her fingers through her hair.

“Thanks,” He rubs the back of his neck, walking past her to the door.

“Hey, Peter?” She whispers from the bed, and he turns around and sees her under his blanket with her damp hair on his pillow, looking over at him.

“Hmm?” He asks, his hand on the doorknob.

“Thanks,” She tells him simply, straight to the point. He wishes so badly that he was one of those people like her that didn’t talk a whole lot, but when they did, everyone listened because they all knew it must be something really important or interesting. But he’s just a nervous, blubbering mess that can’t keep his mouth shut in the worst times possible.

“No problem,” He replies, nodding. “Goodnight, MJ.”

“Goodnight,” She tells him back, and he slowly, quietly shuts the door.

He silently tiptoes to the bathroom and brushes his teeth, before clumsily stumbling through the dark apartment to grab a blanket from the hall closet and then get to the couch. When he finds it he grabs his backpack, sets it on the floor beside the couch, then lays down. He pulls the blanket up and over himself, staring up at the ceiling with a cheek-aching smile plastered on his face.


	15. Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just realized I have over 1000 kudos!!!! I can't believe it! Thank you guys so, so much :)

He gets _maybe_ one full hour of sleep before his alarm starts blaring. Maybe. He was up all night thinking, going over every single interaction they had about a million times. He knew in the moment that he really needed to sleep, but he hadn’t even been the _least_ bit tired. Now as he’s waking up early for school, he deeply regrets it.

“I think I’m dying,” He groans out to no one, pulling a pillow over his head. The room is bright and there are cars honking outside, and all he wants in the world is sleep. He’s so tired that he can hardly even remember why he’s on the couch.

And then he does.

All of his memories from last night flood back instantly: the late studying, asking her to stay over, her _actually_ staying over, sleeping in his bed. She’s probably still in there now.

He sits up quickly, accidentally knocking the lamp off of the coffee table. “Oh, shit,” he groans, sitting up and leaning over the couch, almost falling completely off of it actually, as he grabs the lamp and sets it back on the table. Then he shuts his eyes and breathes out, rubbing them sleepily.

“Nice save, loser,” He gets hit in the head with a pillow suddenly, and he instinctively reaches up to shield himself. "Get up or we're going to be late."

“Hey!” He whines, blinking his eyes open. MJ’s standing there with her arms crossed, looking down at him. “Oh, um...good morning MJ.”

“Oh, Peter you’re up!” He hears May laugh, then she walks up to the couch too, standing beside MJ.

“Good morning, May,” He replies, feeling a little awkward. Could they not have waited to bombard him until _after_ he had gone to the bathroom and fixed his hair at least a little bit? “Sorry about…”

He doesn't have to say the rest, because May is already waving him off, throwing her arm around MJ’s shoulder.

“Don't worry, Peter,” She tells him, and MJ stands there, seeming pleased to be on Aunt May’s good side. No matter who you are, anyone, even a grumpy, I-hate-everyone-and-everything-sucks kind of person can experience universal happiness knowing May Parker likes them. MJ is apparently not an exception to that rule, which leads Peter to believe that there probably isn't one person in the world that is. Everyone loves Aunt May.

“I was just telling MJ how glad I am you offered to let her stay here,” she leans in and ruffles his hair, and MJ turns to him, sticking her bottom lip out and tilting her head in an “aww we’re so proud of you” sort of way. Peter rolls his eyes at her. “If you hadn't, I would have been extremely disappointed in you. So for that...I made breakfast for you guys.”

“I thought I smelled something burning,” Peter laughs, which earns a swat on the back of his head from May. He specifies he's joking, of course, then rolls himself off the couch, yawning. He follows MJ and May into the kitchen, and it takes everything he has not to stop dead in his tracks. “What are you...wearing?”

“May let me borrow it,” MJ shrugs him off, and he stands there a moment to take it in.

Okay, it's not a bad outfit by any means. She actually looks _great_ in it, but it's just the fact that...he's never seen her in any sort of color like this before. She's wearing her hair up like always, and her pants and shoes from yesterday, but she has on a sleeveless, dull-yellow top. May apparently didn't get the “everything is black or white or gray” memo.

“She says it makes my eyes pop,” MJ continues, loading her plate with whatever vegetarian breakfast that May had prepared. “Do you have a problem with it, Peter?”

“No,” he quickly shakes it off, grabbing himself a plate. “No, no, I was just...I just have never seen you wear something like that. It looks good on you, it's just not exactly your...style.”

“My style?” She turns then, looking straight at him. “Coming from you, mister nerdy-science-shirts-are-the-only-thing-I-wear.”

May bursts out in laughter then, before quickly trying to disguise it as a cough.

“One of those nerdy science shirts _you_ were wearing last night though, right?” He comments with a proud smile, _actually_ thinking it was a great comeback. What he didn't realize until after he said it though, is how oddly sexual and euphemistic it sounded. May and MJ seem to catch on faster than he does, responding with complete, deafening silence. Which, in return, forces him to go back over what he said in his mind.

“No, I didn't mean…” he starts, already knowing it's pointless. May walks past him to the table then, patting his shoulder and giving him a sympathetic smile.

Yeah, _that_ bad.

MJ just shakes her head, turning back to finish getting her food.

“It looks good on you, is what I'm trying to say.” He swallows thickly, and she freezes for a second, before continuing to get her food. “Not that you ever look bad or anything, that's not what I'm saying either, I just think it just came off wrong earlier. And... probably now too.”

“Stop now or you're gonna give yourself an aneurysm,” she walks past him, gently knocking her shoulder against his with a shake of her head.

“Yeah, I’m...done now,” He sighs in defeat, then grabs a banana and announces that he’s going to get ready for school.

After taking a shower, he’s looking in the foggy mirror trying to fix his hair when he hears a soft knock on the door. It’s an “Aunt May” kind of knock, so he opens it. She slips in the small bathroom then, quietly shutting the door behind her.

“So?” She bites her lip excitedly, crossing her arms. “How did it go last night? I was going to wait until you got home from school but...I couldn’t. Tell me everything!”

“Where’s MJ?” He asks first, paranoid she can somehow hear them.

“She insisted on doing the dishes,” She grins, impressed. “Man, I love this girl. Now we don’t have much time, so you have to tell me quick.”

“Not much happened,” He shrugs, but a huge smile forms on his face. “I mean we did talk about some stuff, and she actually, you know, opened up a little. And then we studied for a while, lost track of time, so I insisted she stay over. It was so late and she wanted to walk home, but it was...so I just asked her to stay. I didn't really think she would, but she always surprises me, you know? And that was what the shirt thing was about by the way, I had let her borrow some clothes.”

“I was wondering what that was all about,” She tucks her hair back, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, it came out really...not like how I wanted it to at all,” He laughs awkwardly, looking down at the floor. “I just say stupid things around her. I can't think, I can't breathe, and everything I say comes out in a jumbled mess. It's embarrassing.”

“It's just nerves, Peter, it's completely normal. I think it's cute you have butterflies around her!” She replies, poking his stomach. He pushes her hands away, laughing a little.

“It's not even butterflies. It's like...wasps, or hornets or something,” He explains, leaning back against the counter, groaning in sadness. “I hate this, May. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't think. I'm so miserable.”

“Yeah, sounds like a crush to me,” She laughs a little, pulling him into a hug. “It'll all be fine. You got over Liz, didn't you?”

“I know, but as miserable as this is,” he sighs, looking up at her. "I still don't ever want to get over it.”

* * *

“Ready, Petey Wetey?” MJ asks, leaning against the door with a book in her hand, not even looking up at him.

“What? Please don’t call me that,” He laughs, grabbing his backpack and walking towards her. “But yeah. I’m ready.”

“How do you feel about the test?” She asks, while they walk through his apartment’s lobby.

“Well a lot better after last night, that’s for sure,” he sighs, glancing over at her. She’s walking while reading, and apparently listening to him, too. “But I’m still not extremely confident about it, either.”

“It’s just a stupid test,” She tells him, as they walk down the street.

“Are you cold? It’s cold,” He looks at her bare arms, shivering himself. “Here, take my jacket.”

“I’m not cold,” She shrugs off his offer, not seeming fazed by the biting air. The scariest part is that she actually _doesn’t_ look cold. Can she even _get_ cold?

“Please take it, you’re making me cold just looking at you,” He laughs, and she finally puts her book away in her bag, grabs the jacket, and puts it on. “I’m already wearing a few layers anyway.”

“It smells like boy,” She tells him, but she still crosses her arms, snuggling into it. Maybe she actually _can_ get cold, she just refuses to show any weakness. He still smiles anyway, because two weeks ago she probably would have actually put him in a coma for just _offering._

And he thinks she looks incredibly cute wearing his clothes.

“That’s because I am a boy,” He replies, shoving his cold hands in his pocket. “I mean...man.”

“Thanks for clarifying,” She laughs a little, bringing the sleeve of the hoodie up to her mouth, breathing into it to warm herself.

“Why didn’t May give you something warmer? You’d think with her overpowering maternal instinct she would h-”

“-I picked the shirt out,” She interrupts, now making a point to cover it with fully with the hoodie. “She let me choose and I picked this one. I liked it. She gave me a sweater but I accidentally left it at the table.”

Now he feels awful. As if the “why are you wearing that?” kitchen incident wasn’t bad enough, directly saying it to her after she had picked it out herself makes it a thousand times worse. Especially since it was something she wouldn’t have normally worn anyway, and she had already been stepping out of her comfort zone. He feels awful.

“If it means anything, I thought it made your eyes pop, too,” He bumps her arm with his, trying to mend his idiocy from this morning.

“Shut up,” She laughs, bumping his arm back. He can see her breath in the air as she laughs, and he notices her dimple from her smile, and the slight redness of her nose because of the weather. His smile fades then and he turns back to look down at the street, swallowing hard.

* * *

“See you at lunch, loser,” She tells him as they enter the doors of school, knocking her arm into his. Is that their thing now? “Good luck on the test.”

“You too, _loser,”_ He replies, knocking her arm back. She looks at him with a small smile, shaking her head as she makes her way through the crowd of people.

“Uh…” Ned’s standing beside him suddenly, which makes Peter jump. “What the hell was that?”

“Jesus, Ned, you scared me,” Peter laughs a little, walking to his locker.

“Are you seriously going to pretend that I didn’t just see you and MJ walking in together? What was that about?” Ned catches up to him, and Peter instantly starts smiling again.

“Okay, so…” He starts, and then explains the entire story - full detail - to Ned. Except for for MJ’s personal confessions, of course, but pretty much everything else.

“Dude,” Ned grins, and then the bell rings. “That’s like, romantic comedy stuff. Obviously not the whole sleeping together thing - both literally and metaphorically - but still.”

“Shut up, Ned,” Peter laughs, both of them walking to class. “It wasn’t like that. I think we’re...I think we’re finally friends. So yeah, I like her, but I don’t want to be one of those guys that treat her differently because she’s a girl, you know? I’m just trying to push my feelings aside so we can stay friends first, and...maybe something else later.”

“God, that’s so boring,” Ned shakes his head, taking a seat.

* * *

“So? The test?” MJ asks, sitting down at the lunch table. For once, she doesn’t have a book out.

“I don’t know for sure yet, but I actually...feel really good about it.” He smiles, looking up at her. Ned rolls his eyes, being rudely interrupted from his rant about some animated show he’s been watching. “I recognized almost all of the problems we worked out. Thanks for all of the help.”

She waves him off, cracking her book open.

“How did yours go?” He asks, Ned rolling his eyes once again. He’s obviously jealous that MJ is suddenly getting all of the attention.

“I made a one hundred and four,” she replies, scanning every line of her book intently.

“What? How do you know already?” He furrows his eyebrows, subconsciously leaning closer to her. “And how did you make over one hundred? I didn't see any extra credit.”

“I graded it myself,” she shrugs, setting her book down and looking at him boredly. “And Miss Warren made a mistake on the exam, so she gives me extra points when I correct them for her. Before she hands them out, of course.”

“Whoa,” he laughs, obviously impressed.

“Any more questions, Stabler?” She asks, crossing her arms and looking at him with a slightly raised eyebrow.

He's not actually sure what that means at all, but he's pretty certain it's some obscure reference to a book or something.

“Sorry,” he laughs a little, leaving her alone to read.

He sits back, nodding along at everything Ned is saying, even though he isn’t exactly _listening_ to everything Ned is saying. He knows he’s kind of being a bad friend at the moment, but he can’t think about anything other than her, even as hard as he tries to.

And it’s just like when she says something smart: when she’s mean to him, it makes him like her even more. Not in the immature and oddly predatorial “I want what I can’t have” way, which is gross, but more in the “she’s just like that and I think it’s really cute” sort of way. She’s brutally honest, sarcastic, outright _rude_ sometimes, but she has an amazing heart, and he knows it. Plus, she treats all of her friends that way too; greeting them with a middle finger or rude comment, cutting them off to correct them, interrupting to call someone out on an injustice. The way she wears that annoyed scowl on her face is adorable too, even though it probably shouldn’t be.

So unlike Liz, who he saw as a perfect human that had no flaws at all, this is different. With MJ, he knows she has flaws, secrets, problems, but he likes them as much as he likes all of the good in her. He enjoys the flaws, the imperfection, and celebrates the fact that all of those small things are what make her the most amazingly extraordinary human he's ever met.


	16. Guys Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this one!!! Thanks again for the feedback :)

“You want to hang out after school today?” Peter asks, shutting his locker and turning to look at Ned.

“Depends,” Ned shrugs, sighing dramatically. “Is it _only_ because you aren’t hanging out with MJ that you finally want to hang out with me?”

“Dude,” Peter sighs, standing in front of him and putting his hands on his shoulders. Ned refuses to make eye contact. _“You_ are my best friend - you always will be. I always want to hang out with you!”

Ned grumbles a little, still not convinced.

“You can’t be mad at me forever, Ned,” Peter groans, unsure of what to do. “Seriously, it was _one_ night.”

“One night! Dude, you were ignoring me all at lunch. It was like talking to a brick wall.” Ned crosses his arms, and Peter sighs.

“I’m sorry. I was just so caught up with everything and...I don’t know. There’s no excuse.” Peter replies, realizing he’s right.

“I obviously want you to be, like, happy, I’m not meaning it like that,” Ned finally looks at him, sighing. “But you were straight up ignoring me!”

“I know, but it wasn’t on purpose,” Peter tries to defend himself, but just shakes his head, giving in. “I’m sorry. Okay? Seriously, I am. I shouldn’t have done that, I should have listened. You’ve listened to me talk about her for like, weeks straight and you haven’t complained once. God, I’m sorry, Ned. I’ll make it up to you, okay? I have to go...you know, do my thing, but why don’t you come at around six? We’ll order pizza, watch whatever movie you want, and we won’t talk about girls. Just us, like we used to.”

“Fine,” Ned smiles, rolling his eyes playfully. They do their handshake, then start walking through the empty halls to leave school for the day. “Actually, speaking of girls...Betty looked extra pretty today, didn’t she?”

“Um...I didn’t really notice,” Peter considers, turning to glance at Ned. “Do you...like her? Or something?”

“I don’t know,” Ned shrugs innocently, smiling. “Maybe.”

“Okay, I changed my mind,” Peter laughs, walking down the steps and patting Ned’s back supportively. “We’re definitely talking about girls tonight.”

* * *

 Peter always forgets how amazing it is to put on his suit and be free. Free from school, homework, and even crushes, for that matter.

“Hey, buddy, that’s not yours!” He swings down from the top of a building where he had been eating a snack, noticing a woman’s purse getting snatched. It happens so often that it's actually pretty disheartening.

“Please get me my bag back!” She yells at Spider-Man, clutching a young child in her other hand. “It has my daughter’s inhaler in it!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it!” He tells her, running past them and trying to catch up to the culprit. “Karen, don’t let me lose this guy!”

“Eyes locked on target.” She replies in his ear, and his vision circles in on a guy with a hoodie, running through the crowds of people, pushing and shoving to get away.

Peter webs onto the side of the building, jumping up and swinging above all of the people, before landing on the ground behind the thief. He turns back for a second and notices Peter right behind him.

“Hey,” Peter waves, and the guy turns back around, running even faster. He tries to lose him by turning into an alleyway, but Peter follows right behind, trapping him.

“Big mistake, pal,” Peter sighs, putting his hands on his hips while he watches the guy desperately try and climb the fence. Right as he’s about to get over it, the purse safely tucked under his arm, Peter webs him and pulls him back to the ground. “Sorry, can’t let you do that.”

The guy gets up then, obviously panicking, and Peter takes that chance to web his hands to the wall.

“Come on, man, you know I don’t want to have to do this,” Peter walks up to him, grabbing the purse and hanging it on his shoulder.

“I-I have a daughter at home,” He cries out, looking down at the alleyways dirty ground, obviously feeling regret. “I didn’t want to do it but...she’s hungry. I didn’t know what else to do. I…”

“I’m sorry about your daughter,” Peter gulps, his stomach turning with guilt. “But you can’t do that, you know? You can’t steal from other people.”

“I know,” The man nods, crying. “I know.”

“Can you close your eyes? This will only take a sec,” Peter tells him, and the man seems immensely confused and terrified, but he follows orders, tears falling from his shut eyes. Peter takes that moment to bring his mask up a little, then he pulls out the twenty dollars he had stuck down in there, right at his collarbone. May always taught him to keep at least twenty on him at all times, just in case of an emergency. “Okay, you can open.”

“What’s happening? Are you...are you going to kill me?” The man asks, and Peter shakes his head sadly.

“No, no, of course not,” He replies, then goes to unweb the man’s hand from the wall. “Promise you won’t try and get away again?”

The man nods desperately, and so Peter unwebs him, then fixes the man’s hair a little.

“Here you go,” He puts the money in the man’s hand, closing his palm around it. “I know it isn’t much, but...take care of you and your daughter, okay? You aren’t in trouble, just...you can’t do that again. It scares everyone, puts everyone in danger, and I know you aren’t that guy.”

“You aren’t going to turn me in?” The man asks, looking down at his own closed hand, then back up at Peter.

“No, not this time,” Peter tells him, putting his hand on his shoulder. “If you or your daughter need help, there’s a shelter in the alleyway across from the movie theater on west forty-second. It’s an abandoned building, but it’s kind of hard to miss when you see it. It’s not an official shelter, but I know you’ll get any kind of help you need there.”

“T-thank you, Spider-Man,” The guys nods, crying and pulling Peter in for a hug.

“You know, I’ve dreamed of having this exact outcome after a robbery,” Peter laughs, patting the guys back. “Crazy, right?”

“Look, tell that lady...tell her and her kid I’m sorry,” He pulls back, giving Peter a thankful smile.

“That may not be the _best_ idea right now, but I think she’ll eventually, you know, feel that in her heart or something,” Peter nods, adjusting the purse comfortably on his shoulder. “You take care, okay? You and your daughter.”

“I will. Thank you, Spider-Man!” The man yells after him, and Peter waves as he runs back out of the alley, trying to find the woman.

He searches for a few minutes, before he finds them standing against the side of the building, the woman holding the scared child in her arms. They both look worried, terrified, before the woman spots him in the crowd, and her face lights up.

“I see why you like this thing so much - it’s really comfortable. Great color, too,” He laughs, handing it over to her.

“Oh, thank you!” The woman grabs it, covering her hand over her mouth in surprise.

“It’s no problem,” He waves her off, smiling.

“Thank you, Spider-Man,” He hears a small, quiet voice, and he turns to the little girl, who’s looking up at him like he’s her hero. He’s sure he’s never going to get used to it.

“I’m always here, don’t worry,” He smiles even though he knows she can’t see it, leaning down a little and giving her a high five. “I’m glad I could help you guys.”

After that he looks at the time, realizing it’s getting close to six. So he makes his way home, getting changed in the alley first, before walking back to the apartment.

“Hey, May,” Peter greets her, twirling his keyring on his finger as he walks inside.

“Oh good, you’re here!” She smiles at him from the couch, patting the spot beside her. “Can we talk?”

“Um...sure,” He laughs nervously, suddenly paranoid about every indecent thing he’s ever done.

He walks over, sitting down next to her. “What’s...what’s this about?”

“I was just thinking…” She breathes out, trying to find a way to approach the topic. “About what happened last night, this morning, and how you’ve been spending a lot of time with MJ.”

“Um...please don’t be talking about what I think you’re talking about,” Peter groans, falling back against the couch.

“We have to have the talk, okay? I’m just trying to be a responsible guardian, Peter,” She sighs, and he actually feels like he’s going to die of embarrassment.

“We _did_ have it. In like, sixth grade,” He complains, throwing his arm over his face dramatically. “And that was enough humiliation for a lifetime.”

“Look, Peter, it’s a natural thing. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” She argues, her voice soft. “Besides, it’s different now than it was in sixth grade. That was more of an educational lesson.”

“Then...what’s this?” He asks, a small bit of curiosity mixing in with the immense embarrassment.

“Now that you're older, and you're experiencing those feelings, it’s more of a…” She narrows her eyes, using hand motions. “Responsibility thing. Making mature, adult decisions.”

“Let’s just...get it over with,” He sighs, rubbing his temples.

“Well I want to start off by saying that I’m so proud of how smart, caring, and grown up you’ve become,” She puts her hand on his shoulder, smiling. “And I know if the time came, you would make a mature decision. But I just want to make sure you know all of the precautions you should take.”

“We’re not having...sex,” He assures her, laughing nervously. “Not even close. We’re just friends, that’s it.”

“Well this is if you _do.”_ She specifies, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Not that I condone that at your age, but abstinence-only sex-ed is so counterproductive and an awful way to teach kids about they should do, especially at such an already confusing time. So if you do it, be safe: always wear protection. Be smart, okay, honey? I don’t doubt your judgement at all, but I just want it to be clear that it’s not the end of the world, and I want you to be able to talk to me about that stuff, okay?”

“Of course,” He nods, laughing lightly.

“And don't be afraid of your body changing. I know you're having a lot of confusing feelings and sensations, but it's all normal.” She assures him, and he sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose but nodding anyway. “I bought you this book. It's everything you should know. It gives you sex-ed for _all_ sexual orientations, it talks about the changes in your body right now, and it tells you how to be safe. It even talks about how women's menstrual cycles work, too. I would love if you read it.”

She hands it to him then, and he nods, looking up at her.

“Yeah, I will,” he leans in and hugs her, and when they pull back, she smiles and tucks his hair back. “Thanks, May. As embarrassing as it is...I do appreciate it, and I know you're doing what's best. I'm sure I'll...you know, be glad about it one day.”

“That's the spirit!” She laughs, patting his shoulder. “Now what do you want for dinner?”

“Actually, Ned’s coming over,” he tells her, tucking the book in his backpack. “I told him we'd order pizza if that's okay.”

“Pizza sounds great,” she smiles, going to grab the phone. “Cheese and pepperoni?”

“Sounds good,” he nods, then tells her he's going to take a shower before Ned arrives.

When he gets out, Ned’s already at the table talking to May. “Oh, hey Peter.”

“Hey,” he walks into the kitchen, already confined to his comfy pajamas for the night. “May ordered the pizza - should be here any minute. Did you bring any movies?”

“It's m _O_ vies no movi _E_ s,” Ned rolls his eyes, crossing his arms and trying not to laugh.

“Yes! We haven't had a Harry Potter marathon in forever.” Peter laughs, high-fiving him.

“You got Harry Potter from that?” May asks, narrowing her eyes in confusion. The doorbell rings so Peter gets it, listening to Ned explain the scene in depth to May.

He pays the deliverer, tips them, and then brings the stack of pizzas to the table, breathing in the heavenly smell.

“So is this a guys night?” May asks, grinning at them as she takes a bite of her pizza.

“Yeah,” Ned nods, smiling at May. “Only because Peter has been talking about MJ and MJ only for the past, like, three weeks. He owes me this.”

“Okay, not true,” Peter laughs a little, blushing. “A lot, maybe, but not _only_ about her.”

“Mhmm, sure,” Ned nods, but him and May are giving each other the same “yeah, right” look from across the table.

“Hey, stop it!” Peter laughs, waving his hand in between them. “I told you we weren’t going to talk about her tonight, so we won’t. So you can’t get mad since _you_ were the one who brought her up. Besides, I’m not the _only_ one who has a crush.”

“Shut up, Peter,” Ned laughs, tossing a napkin at him. Peter shrugs, grinning.

“Oh, you do? What’s her name?” May asks, propping her chin on her first, smiling.

“Betty,” Ned grins, sighing happily. “She’s on our decathlon team. She’s so smart, and pretty, and bossy…”

“Now I understand why you're so grossed out when I talk about MJ,” Peter laughs, making a face.

“Well _I_ think it's adorable,” May tells him, reaching over and grabbing his hand supportively. “Maybe Peter will let you borrow his book when he's done with it.”

“Book?” Ned asks, and Peter puts his face in his hands, sighing. “What book?”

“It's a sex-ed book. It has everything you need to know about you and your partner's body.” She tells him, and he nods, pretending to look interested.

“Sounds extremely educational, May, thank you,” he nods, smiling.

“Suck up,” Peter replies, disguising it as a cough.

* * *

 “So are you gonna ask her out?” Peter asks, halfway through the Sorcerer’s Stone.

“Um...no? There's no way she'd say yes,” Ned laughs as if it's the stupidest thing Peter’s ever said. “I’m just saving myself the humiliation.”

“Are you kidding?!” Peter pauses the movie, standing in front of the tv and crossing his arms.

“Meditating in here!” May yells from her bedroom, and Peter sighs, momentarily pausing his rant.

“Sorry!” He yells, then turns back to Ned, lowering his voice. “You lectured me every day about not asking MJ out, and you aren’t even going to ask Betty out?!”

“Dude, relax,” Ned laughs, and Peter’s mouth drops in complete and utter annoyance. “I like her but...I’m just being realistic.”

“Ned, why?” Peter sits beside him, furrowing his eyebrows. “You’re a great guy. Like, the _greatest_ guy.”

“Peter, don’t,” Ned rolls his eyes, waving him off and laughing a little.

“I’m serious! If she doesn’t want you, then I do.” Peter smiles, holding his head up proudly. “I think you should ask her.”

“I don’t know…” Ned sighs, letting his head fall back on the couch as he thinks. “I just feel like she’ll laugh at me.”

“She won’t!” Peter assures him, trying to comfort him. “You’re smart, funny, interesting, have _great_ taste in movies, obviously,” he waves his hand in the general direction of the tv, smiling. “Look, if she doesn’t like you, then she’s not even _close_ to as smart as you think she is.”

“I guess,” Ned shrugs, laughing. “You know what’s annoying?”

“What?” Peter smiles a little, proud he finally got through to him.

“That you can tell me all of this great advice, but not take it for yourself.” Ned stares him down, and Peter’s smile drops.

“It’s different,” Peter groans, closing his eyes and letting his head drop back against the couch.

“Different?! It’s the exact same!” Ned argues, throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

“Look, Ned, I’m just…” he breathes out, having no idea what to say. “Me and MJ are finally becoming friends, and I...I can’t ruin it now. I’m working on it. But for once, how cool would it be for something to finally go like a normal highschool experience does?”

“A normal highschool experience would be me getting turned down by the girl I like, Peter,” Ned shakes his head, laughing. “But...fine. If the right time comes, I’ll ask her out. Maybe.”

“Yes!” Peter pumps his fist, laughing happily.

“Now turn the movie back on, idiot, we’re getting to the good part,” Ned laughs, and Peter grabs the remote, still having a huge smile on his face as he plays it.


	17. Test Results

“So,” Peter starts, leaning against his locker and looking at Ned. “What do you think about me asking MJ over tomorrow night to watch The Book Thief? I’m almost done with the book, and she didn’t seem too interested in watching Star Wars, so I figured I’d rent it and invite her over.”

“Is this...a date?” Ned asks with a raised eyebrow, putting on an evil laugh as he rubs his hands together.

“It’s just friends hanging out,” Peter pushes his shoulder, laughing. “And you’re invited, too. _If_ she even wants to.”

“Do you think she’ll ever actually tell you about...you know?” Ned looks around anxiously, even though he never really said anything.

“I don’t know,” Peter closes his locker, sighing. “I think she’s really sort of...opening up now. She’s just a private person, is all. Plus, I don’t think she would really just _tell_ someone that she goes out and does that every day. She doesn’t seem the type of person to just brag about it. Maybe she’ll never tell. I don’t blame her either; it isn’t like I don’t have a secret of my own.”

“Yeah, but you’ll tell her eventually, right? If you want to be friends so bad, you can’t exactly keep a huge life-altering secret from her.” Ned argues, and Peter sighs. “There’s always gonna be a weird barrier there if you do; whether either of you know it or not.”

“I don’t know, Ned,” He presses his head back against the locker, thinking. “I guess I'll have to eventually.”

“Well, I’m in for another movie night tomorrow,” Ned tells him, both of them making their way to class as the bell rings. “Maybe this time you won’t fall asleep at ten.”

“I’m sorry, dude, it was only because I hadn’t slept at all the night before,” Peter laughs a little, actually feeling bad. “I’ll make it up to you this weekend.”

“Uh huh, sure,” Ned shakes his head, laughing as they enter their first class of the day.

* * *

 Instead of going straight to the cafeteria for lunch, Peter pushes through the crowd of students going the _opposite_ way, searching everywhere for MJ. He has his test packet clutched against his chest, standing on his tiptoes to try and spot her.

“You look like a kid in a grocery store looking for his mom,” He hears from his left, so he turns, spotting MJ sitting on the ground against the wall, reading. Her legs are pulled up close to her chest, and her book is resting on it. They make eye contact every time someone passes between them, and he grins, pushing through other students to reach her.

Seeing her for the first time every day is the highlight of the entirety of it. He never gets used to it.

“Hey,” He smiles, dropping down to sit beside her, smiling happily.

Suddenly he notices that she’s wearing his jacket again today. He had forgotten to even get it back, and his heart skips a beat when he thinks about the fact that while she was getting dressed this morning, she must have remembered she hadn't returned it while she put it on. If she had meant to return it, she would have brought her own jacket and stuffed his in her backpack for when she saw him, right?

God, he’s looking way too far into this.

“I always wonder why you get to lunch so late,” He laughs, glancing down at her book.

“I wait for the rush to pass,” She replies, turning to look at him. “What do you have to tell me?”

Instead of asking “how do you know I have something to tell you?” like he normally would, he just accepts it. She’s always right, anyway.

“Look,” He smiles proudly, handing her the test packet. She takes it, looking at the score, then flipping through the pages to find his mistakes.

“Ninety-six isn’t bad,” She nods, shrugging her shoulders.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” He breathes in, laughing happily. “I haven’t had that good of a grade since the semester started. Thank you.”

“No problem,” She nods, smiling a little herself and handing the packet back. “So I guess that means you don’t need any more study sessions, then.”

“Oh,” He turns, looking at the now-empty hall. “Well, I like your teaching better than Miss Warren’s,” He shrugs, trying to find a way, any way, to still be able to see her outside of school. “So I can still pay you to help. If you want, of course, because if you don’t then I’ll just, you know, work harder in-”

“I can do it,” She interrupts, putting her book in her bag. “I don’t mind. I just thought maybe _you_ didn’t or something.”

“No, no, I do,” He replies, smiling shyly. “You’ve been a great help.”

“I’m glad,” She nods, and he stuff his papers back in his bag. Then he stands up, dusting his pants off, before holding his hand out to help her up. She stares at his hand, then looks up at him, hesitant. He smiles a little, trying to make her feel better. “I’m just trying to help you up.”

“Really? I thought you were going to punch me in the face,” She replies sarcastically, but she grabs his hand anyway and stands up.

“Shut up,” He laughs, bumping her arm. She bumps back, smiling. Okay, that’s definitely their thing now.

They walk together to the cafeteria, talking about the progress he's made in the book and what he thinks about it. He's in the middle of talking, when he looks up and sees Flash sitting next to Ned at their table.

He stops talking, walking, and his mouth drops open. He must know that Peter’s crush is on MJ, right? He _never_ sits with them; in fact, the only time Peter ever even _sees_ him in the cafeteria he’s usually starting a food fight.

And if he _doesn’t_ know about his crush yet, he definitely will when he sees the way Peter acts around her. It’s a lose-lose situation.

“Hey, do you want to...ditch lunch today?” Peter asks, grabbing her arm and trying to turn her around.

“No, I’m hungry,” She replies sternly, wrenching her arm from his grasp and proceeding to get in the lunch line. So Peter gulps, getting in line behind her. He knows there’s no way of stopping her, and he would _die_ before he left her alone with Flash for him to tell her all about Peter’s crush with no one there to stop him.

As he’s getting his food, he glances over at the table nervously. Flash is talking to Ned, who’s rolling his eyes. Then Flash looks over at Peter, smiling mischievously.

“Is it her?” He sees him point his finger to MJ, mouthing and smirking. Peter looks away, pretending he didn’t see him. His heart is racing like crazy, and he would rather be doing _anything_ right now than grabbing his milk carton, and following MJ to the table. He’s panicking.

“Parker,” Flash leans back, propping his feet on the table. “How’s it going?”

“Will you just leave, Flash?” Ned cuts in, sighing in annoyance.

“I didn’t realize you two were good friends,” Flash smiles, pointing his finger from MJ to Peter. MJ just eats, ignoring him. Peter can feel the awful tension circulating between the four of them sitting at the table, and he starts feeling sick to his stomach. “You guys hang out a lot?”

“What’s it to you?” MJ narrows her eyes at him and drops her fork on her plate, and even Peter gets a little scared for a second. She’s pretty intimidating when she wants to be.

“Hey, don’t get so defensive,” Flash laughs, putting his hands up. “It was just a question.”

“Will you leave so I can eat my food _without_ the interference of my upchuck reflex?” She sighs, staring him down.

Peter widens his eyes, anxiously eating his food and making a point _not_ to make eye contact with her. For once, it’s not him on the other side of her comments, and it’s refreshing. So he isn’t going to do anything to jeopardize that by opening his mouth.

“Oooh, feisty,” Flash laughs, and she rolls her eyes. “I see why you like her so much, Peter.”

“Shut up, Flash,” Peter looks up at him, swallowing thickly.

“What? You are friends, right? That’s all I meant,” he shrugs, crossing his arms. He smiles evilly at Peter, and it’s so incredibly obvious that he knows MJ is the one he has a crush on, and he’s trying to torture him. “Well, I guess I’ll see you guys at decathlon practice. Great to catch up.”

“Finally,” MJ mumbles, rolling her eyes once again at a waving Flash as he walks away. “What was that about?”

“Uh,” Peter and Ned look at each other, gulping, then turn to her. “I have no idea.”

She looks between them, obviously suspicious of them like always. He wishes she wasn’t so perceptive on literally _every single thing._ Could she just be oblivious for one second of her life? It would make his a lot easier and drastically less anxiety-ridden.

She just shakes her head at them, pulling her book out.

Peter finally breathes out a sigh of relief, dodging both her and Flash. But he knows now that Flash is going to torment him about it, and, eventually expose it to at least half of the school’s population.

This sucks.

* * *

“Hey,” Peter smiles up at MJ as she walks into the coffee shop, closing her umbrella. Instead of having her bangs in her face like usual, she has it all pulled in a disheveled bun on the top of her head. This lets him see her full face, with a few loose curls hanging around it messily. She looks so incredibly beautiful that he can’t help but smile like a complete idiot for no reason. “I’m sorry you had to walk through that.”

“I love rain,” She tells him, sitting down at the seat across from him.

“So do I, but only when I’m cozy inside. Not walking in it,” he laughs awkwardly, and she just leans back, looking at him.

“Do you want a coffee to warm you up? You could get like, sick,” He looks at her, actually a little worried. “I’ll pay.”

“I got it this time,” She tells him, standing up and getting in line. She’s wearing his hoodie over an oversized sweater, and joggers that are messily stuffed into her combat boots.

When she gets back, she slides over his coffee wordlessly, taking a sip of her own.

“Thanks,” He smiles warmly, shivering a little as he takes a drink of it. He expected it to just be a black coffee, but it’s actually his order. “How did you-”

“I saw it on the side of your cup last week,” She replies before he can even ask his question, shrugging. “Two sugars and one creamer. Oh, and it’s decaf, too.”

“You remembered that?” He laughs a little, looking down at the cup, then back at her.

“Relax, Parker, I have a semi-photographic memory,” She tells him, taking another drink.

“Semi-photographic?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows curiously.

“Okay, so you know some people have real photographic memories? Mine’s like that, but not fully functional like some who were born with it. I taught myself how to do it.” She tells him, and he sits there, completely confused. “There are tons of techniques you can practice to form a better visual memory of things. I did those techniques every day for almost two months, and it exercised my hippocampus to view things differently. That’s how I have a semi-photographic memory. Not exactly a scientific name, but it gets the point across.”

“Oh,” He nods, trying to process it all. “So it’s just sort of subconscious now? You can just remember it all vividly without trying?”

“Exactly,” She sits back, holding her warm coffee cup to her chest. “Comes in handy a lot.”

“I bet,” He laughs, impressed. “Especially in school.”

Then there’s a silence as they both drink their coffee’s, but for once, it’s not awkward. It’s comfortable.

He looks at his hoodie on her, wanting to say something about it but refraining. I mean, she couldn’t have possibly forgotten, right? It’s not like he wants it back; quite the opposite, actually. He’s glad she has it, and it’s a longshot, but he wonders if maybe she thinks of him every time she wears it.

“Oh, you aren’t getting this back, by the way,” She tells him, most likely noticing him looking at it. “I’m keeping it. I form unhealthy relationships with inanimate objects, and me and this jacket have already been through a lot. You’d have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands.”

“It’s fine, you can have it,” He laughs, feeling oddly comforted by her words. “It looks better on you anyway.”

“I could have told you that,” She smiles a little, looking down at it. “Besides, I did this thing a favor: it doesn’t smell like boy anymore. Kinda feel bad for all of the helpless jackets in your room that got left behind now, though.”

“Hey, they love the smell of boy, thank you very much,” He shrugs, smiling and looking down at the jacket he currently has on.

“Oh, and how do you know that?” She sets her cup down, crossing her arms and raising a curious eyebrow.

“How do _you_ know they don’t?” He mirrors her action by crossing his own arms, tilting his head.

“I think it’s a universal fact that they _don’t_ in both the animate _and_ inanimate objects perspectives,” She replies thoughtfully, rubbing her chin dramatically. “It’s like rotten eggs or burnt popcorn. It’s unifying in a way, really: everyone knows the boy smell is bad. Grass is green, the sky is blue, males have a distinct, gross odor. Unless these theoretical people have some sort of weird fetish for the smell of B.O. and dirty socks.”

“Gross, who would have a fetish for that?” He laughs, making a disgusted face.

“As gross as it is, there’s worse,” She laughs too, and he just smiles at that alone. She rarely laughs, and when she does, it’s even rarer that she’s laughing _with_ him and not _at_ him. “Too many episodes of SVU will screw you up royally.”

“SVU? What’s that?” He asks, wishing he could listen to her talk about anything and everything forever. She could talk in exhaustive detail for hours about why water is wet, and he’d be smiling and nodding at everything she said.

“Law and Order: Special Victims Unit? Seriously, you’ve never seen it?” Her mouth drops, and she immediately resorts to shaking her head in disappointment.

“No…? Am I supposed to have?” He laughs a little, still a little confused on what it is she’s talking about.

“Yes,” She confirms clearly, sternly. “It’s really gross and pretty much exposes every sort of pervert and all forms of misogyny that there possibly can be on this Earth, but yeah, it’s great.”

“I thought you didn’t watch tv,” He replies, his heart warming every time she talks even a _little_ about something she’s passionate about. He can see it light up in her eyes, and it’s incredibly adorable to see someone so grumpy gush over something.

“I said I don’t watch _movies._ There’s a big difference,” She shrugs her shoulders, tucking some of her curls behind her ear.

“Speaking of movies,” He swallows thickly before he starts, trying to act as cool and casual as possible. “I’m about to finish the Book Thief, so I was wondering if you might want to come over tomorrow and watch the movie with me and Ned. And there’s a full invitation to sleep over again, but you don’t have to this time if you don’t want to.”

She stares at him then, thinking.

“Will there be popcorn and M&M’s?” She asks, narrowing her eyes thoughtfully.

“There will be now,” He laughs, his shoulders relaxing in relief. “Is that a yes?”

“Make that peanut M&M’s and I’m in.” She replies, reaching up to shake his hand.

“Done,” He grabs it, shaking back.

“Now let’s get started on this homework,” She opens her bag, grabbing her notebook. “You aren’t paying me for nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad to finally be able to develop MJ and Peter's friendship! He's getting less and less nervous around her, and it's definitely allowing her to be more comfortable around him, too.
> 
> BTW, what do you think Flash is going to do?? *side eye emoji*


	18. Snacks

“I finished the book,” He tells MJ as soon as she sits down at the lunch table Friday morning. “I’m so mad at you.”

“Get in line, buddy,” She shrugs proudly, brushing her hair behind her ear and looking at him.

“You made me read the most depressing book on the planet!” He groans with a laugh, putting his face in his hands. “It was awful. I mean, a _good_ awful, but still...awful.”

“Yeah, your eyes look really puffy,” she comments, making a point to stare at him extra long to make him insecure about it.

“If you're trying to make fun of me for crying, I'm not ashamed,” he replies, both Ned and MJ laughing. “If anything on this earth is tear-worthy, it was that.”

“Yeah, I don't blame you,” she replies, sitting back and shrugging. “It’s pretty upsetting.”

“Then why exactly are we watching this movie again?” Ned interjects, confusion evident on his face.

“Because even though it’s upsetting, it’s also really good,” Peter explains, shrugging.

“I’m actually sort of excited to watch and see how it is,” MJ speaks up, and both of them turn to her, sure she’s never been really excited about anything in her life. Not that she has voiced out loud, at least. “What? I can be excited about things too. Shut up.”

“Didn’t say anything,” Peter smiles, putting his hands up.

“So what time does this nerd fest start tonight?” MJ asks, biting into an apple boredly.

“It’s not really on a schedule, so we can just start it whenever you can make it over,” He tells her, shrugging nonchalantly. “Me and Ned are gonna go grab some necessary movie night snacks before we go home, though, so if you wanted you could just come around...five-thirty or so. The popcorn and M&M’s will be fully prepared and ready to consume.”

“The only acceptable way to have popcorn and M&M’s,” She nods, giving a semi-noticeable smile and looking down at her food. “Get the tissues ready, too. I expect nothing less than full-on man tears tonight. Pre-pubescent boy tears, more like, but I digress.”

“Hey!” Both Ned and Peter protest in synchronicity, and she just shrugs, smiling.

“I may actually have to break out May’s “Beaches” kleenex stash,” Peter laughs a little, shivering at the thought of all the times he’s walked in on her absolutely bawling her eyes out over that movie. “She’s really serious about her “women supporting their friends” movie collection.”

“Smart lady,” MJ nods, approving. “Peter, you have to know by now that the only reason you have anything even closely resembling friends is because of your suspiciously-cool aunt, right?”

“I love May,” Ned sighs dreamily, propping his chin on his fist.

“I hate both of you,” Peter laughs, rolling his eyes. “Ned’s been in love with her forever. Well, until he got a crush on B-”

Then a swift, solid kick hits his knee from under the table, and he groans out in pain. That’s definitely gonna bruise.

Ned’s giving him the “shut up now!” look, and Peter only just now realizes what he did wrong.

“Ooh, crush? On who?” MJ asks curiously, proving that it’s too late for Peter to redeem himself by forming an embarrassingly-fake lie.

“Wow, thanks Peter,” Ned gives this awful “I hate you” smile, and he’s sporting the most sarcastic tone he could muster up.

“Sorry,” He replies sincerely, sighing.

“Spill it,” MJ prods, and they both look at each other then, using their expression-interpreted telepathy. Ned wants to kill him.

“Why should I tell you?” Ned turns to her, giving up on mentally cursing Peter out.

“Uh, because I’m a part of this nerdy trio thing now, right? And if I’m correct - I always am, I’ll add - I assume that all _three_ of the friend group members are supposed to be let in on secrets like these,” She argues, making a decently valid point. “And, just to throw it in, I’m a great secret keeper. Mostly because I have no other friends to recite them to, but hey, I still pride myself on it.”

Ned turns to Peter then, contemplating it, but all Peter can think about is how she _admitted_ she turned their duo into a trio. She's officially a part of the friend group now.

“Fine, I'll tell you,” Ned sighs, turning toward her. “It's...Betty.”

“Betty Brant?” MJ asks, all of them now closely packed together around the table, only conversing in whispers.

“Yeah,” Ned shrugs, smiling even at the name.

“I was prepared to make fun of you mercilessly, but she’s actually decently cool and I think you guys would be an...appealing couple,” She forces out, about to gag at her own words. “In a really gross way, of course.”

“You can’t tell anyone, okay?” Ned tells her, looking around like he just witnessed a murder confession.

“Of course not,” MJ sits back casually, crossing her arms. “But I can talk to her for you if you want. Snoop around a little and see if she already likes anyone.”

“You'd do that?” Ned asks hopefully, smiling.

Then Peter, in a completely _different_ tone and expression, asks “You’d do that?”

“I'm not _completely_ evil, Parker,” she looks at him, rolling her eyes. “That's just a side job. Plus we sit beside each other in Spanish, so I have easier access than you idiots.”

“That would be...great, MJ,” Ned laughs, scratching the back of his neck. “You know, at first I thought you were honestly out to like, destroy everything that made us happy. But Peter was right: you're actually pretty cool.”

“Parker said I was cool?!” She gasps sarcastically, grasping at her heart dramatically. “I can die happily now.”

“Shut up,” Peter laughs, looking down at his food.

“I'll ask her today and let you know what she says when I get to your place tonight,” she tells them, and Peter suddenly sees Flash across the cafeteria behind MJ’s head, waving with a fake smile. Then he sticks his bottom lip out, and forms his hands into the shape of a heart against his chest.

Peter swallows thickly and slips down into his seat, pretending he didn't see anything.

“You look like you just saw someone you love get hit by a truck,” MJ narrows her eyes at him, and so he tries to look as normal as possible.

“What's with the morbid analogies?” Peter laughs, poking his fork around his food.

“What's with your non-morbid analogies?” She leans forward, leaving him at a loss for words once again.

“You guys are weird,” Ned shakes his head, and MJ tilts her head up proudly, replying, “that's what I'm here for.”

* * *

"So I’m guessing you aren’t going to, you know, play dress up today?” Ned asks as they walk through the doors of school, finally free for the day.

“How can you make something so cool sound so...uncool?” Peter laughs, jogging down the steps. “And no, I’m not. We have to go grab snacks and get the movie, so I figured we wouldn’t have time.”

“Yeah, just try not to think about all of those people who are getting mugged or murdered since you aren’t there to stop it,” Ned nods, and Peter groans.

“Dude, can you not say things like that? I feel guilty enough,” Peter laughs a little, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Joking, joking,” Ned laughs too, sighing. “Spider-Man deserves a break, too.”

“I guess,” Peter chews the inside of his cheek, reassuring himself that he’s going to make up for it over the weekend.

“I’ve noticed that you haven’t been acting like such a complete idiot around MJ anymore,” Ned tells him, and Peter looks at the ground under him, smiling. “You aren’t a nervous puddle of anxiety; you can actually keep a conversation going with her now.”

“I just realized that…she’s my friend. And I don’t act weird or stuttery around you, so I shouldn’t around her.” He shrugs, pretty proud of himself. “Even if I _am,_ you know, really attracted to her. I’m just really comfortable now, and the more time I spend with her, the easier it gets.”

“Ahh, young love,” Ned replies, smiling as if he’s the wisest person ever on the topic.

“Shut up, dude,” Peter laughs, shaking his head. “So should we go to the movie rental store or to get snacks first?”

“Dude, what year are you living in?” Ned laughs, shaking his head. “No one actually goes to a movie rental store anymore.”

“Uhh, what does that mean?” Peter turns to him, confused.

“Don’t worry, Peter,” Ned sighs happily, patting Peter’s back. “Just leave it to your guy in the chair.”

* * *

When they get to Peter’s apartment, they set all of the snacks out, put the drinks in the fridge, and then Peter starts tidying up everywhere before MJ arrives. Ned’s in the living room on his laptop getting the movie setup, so Peter sets his backpack down on his desk, cleans his room, then sprays every inch of it with febreze. Then, for good measure, he lights one of May’s candles. Not that he would ever admit it to her aloud, but he hates that MJ thinks he smells bad. Or that she even just jokes about him smelling bad, at least. He takes his personal hygiene (decently) seriously.  

When he’s done, he looks around his room, making sure there’s nothing out of place, before he turns to walk out.

But she’s in the doorway, blocking his way. He jumps a little then, startled.

“God, you’re like...a ninja,” He laughs, backing up a little and rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t even, um, hear you knock.”

“I sort of just let myself in,” She shrugs, stepping into his room and looking around. “I figured our comfortability levels had evolved that much. I saw Leeds typing away at his computer so I figured you were in here. Or in the shower, yelling “Walking On Sunshine” again. Either one.”

“Can we drop that?” Peter laughs, looking down at the floor in embarrassment. He kind of likes when she teases him though; he knows she wouldn’t even put effort into it if she didn’t think he was decently cool.

“Nah, never,” She shrugs, looking around at all of his things. “So what were you doing in here?”

“Well, I was just…” He looks around, gesturing vaguely. “You know.”

“Hmm,” She nods, pretending to know what he was talking about.

“Oh, I have your book. I forgot to give it back at lunch,” He turns, but his hand accidentally knocks his backpack off his desk. He reaches down to grab it, but MJ is already crouched down, picking up the scattered contents. He grabs the backpack quickly from the ground, trying to discreetly stuff his suit down as far as it will go, as MJ starts handing him up his textbooks.

“Thanks,” he swallows thickly, covering the suit as best as he can with them.

“What's this?” She asks, holding a book in her hand and turning it to front and back, scanning it. Even he's confused for a second, until she reads out the title: “Changing Bodies, Changing Lives.”

It's Aunt May’s sex-ed book.

“Oh, nothing,” he reaches over trying to grab it, but wrenches her hands away, opening the front cover. Oh, God.

He walks towards her carefully, trying to act like it's no big deal even though it is. She starts backing up then, glancing up at him with an evil grin.

“I think we should read a little of this, shall we?”

“No! No,” he tries to grab it, but she snatches it away again just in time. She runs of out his room, and he starts chasing her. “MJ, please!”

“I'm just trying to read, Parker,” she tells him, laughing as she runs through the kitchen. She stops behind the counter, looking up at him from across it. His face is completely red, he can feel it.

“What are you guys doing?” Ned asks from the living room, but both of them are too engulfed in what they’re doing to answer. “MJ is that you? What did Betty say?”

Peter’s holding onto the counter from the other side, staring at her in complete horror and waiting for her to make a move on either side so he can catch her.

Then she starts reading the book out loud. “‘Sometimes between the ages of nine and seventeen, your body will change dramatically.’”

“MJ, stop!” He tells her, running around one side of the counter to attempt to grab it again. She runs the other way.

Finally he runs fast enough to grab her shirt, stopping her. But she doesn't give up. Her back is pressed against the fridge as he reaches up, standing on his tiptoes to try and grab it from her hand.

“You're too tall!” He strains, wishing so badly he had his web shooter so he could just pull it down to himself easily.

“Let's see,” she holds the book up, reading it from above her head. “‘As Jenny, aged fourteen, said, “This year my body is going crazy! I look more like my older sister than myself!’””

“Give it!” He jumps, his fingers barely grazing it. She's laughing.

He's sure that he's the first person in history to ever actually die from embarrassment, and it's about to happen right now.

“‘This time of change is called puberty, and everyone goes through it, although each person grows and changes at his or her own pace.’”

Finally he jumps high enough to grab it, and pull it from her hands. Then, breathlessly, he fixes his shirt and huffs out, “Aunt May gave it to me.”

“I’m all for sex-ed, but that was just too easy,” She sighs happily, a content smile still gracing her face. “There’s nothing more satisfying than to see your face as red as a tomato.”

“You know what? I’m not embarrassed!” He throws his hands up, outright lying. He's mortified, really. Hey, fake it ‘til you make it, right? “May was just trying to educate me on topics like STDs, sex-ed for all sexual orientations, and even...menstrual cycles. I think it’s good for me to know all of that stuff, thank you very much.”

“Boooo, it’s not even fun anymore if you aren’t humiliated by it,” She rolls her eyes, sighing boredly.

He then realizes how close they are. Her back is still against the fridge, and she’s looking down at him with slight head tilt. They’re only a few feet apart, and Peter gulps. He hopes it wasn’t noticeable, but he’s sure it was.

How could she blame him, though? She’s so tall and grumpy and beautiful and mean and when they’re this close, he can feel some sort of pull between them, that makes him want to get closer.

“What are you guys doing?” Ned interrupts their weird-tension party, making Peter back up and start scratching the back of his neck.

“Oh, Peter was about to try and kiss me,” MJ nods at Ned, sticking her hand in the bowl of popcorn, completely unfazed. “‘Try’ being the main keyword. What can I say? I’m irresistable.”

“What? No I wasn’t,” he waves her off, pretending to be annoyed by her accusation. He knows she’s just joking, but it makes his heartbeat quicken anyway. “Pfft, no way.”

Ned, ignoring both of them, asks “Did you get to talk to Betty?”

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot,” She chews her popcorn, casually looking around at all of the snacks that are set out. “I didn’t talk about you yet; I figured I’d slowly ease into it. But she says that she’s currently single, not even crushing on anyone.”

“Yes!” Ned pumps his fist happily, throwing his arms around Michelle in a hug. Her mouth drops open, and her hands fly up in complete confusion. “Thanks, MJ.”

“Uh, no problem,” She pats his back awkwardly, and Peter laughs at her reaction. She shoots him a look, though, and he looks away and stops smiling immediately.

“Well, I got the movie pulled up now,” Ned tells them, pointing his thumb over his shoulder to the living room. “So we can start it whenever.”

“I’ll get the drinks, you guys get the snacks,” Peter tells them, already making his way to the fridge.

So they do. Ned and MJ’s hands are full as they carry the candy and snacks to the floor of the living room. Peter carries a few bottles of soda under his arms, then has three cups in his hands.

“You’re playing it from your laptop?” MJ looks over at Ned, who’s typing away on it. He opted to take the chair, so that forces MJ and Peter to sit on the couch together. “Are you using HDMI? VGA? Or do you have some sort of wireless screencasting program?”

“Oh, HDMI all the way,” Ned looks at her, laughing.

“Smart guy,” MJ walks over, standing behind Ned to look at the screen. “What’s your system like?”

“It came with eight gigs of RAM, but I added four on to make it twelve. Then it has a terabyte of storage - all solid-state - with a core i7 processor.”

“No way,” She looks at it in admiration, and Ned shrugs proudly. “All of that on a _Dell_ laptop?”

“I know, I know, but it was a birthday present,” He explains, sighing. “It was all I had to work with, so I just added on.”

Peter’s sitting on the couch now, staring at the wall. He’s a little jealous. It’s isn’t like he doesn’t know what they’re talking about - he does. He just doesn’t know enough to chime in, contributing to the conversation.

A few minutes later, as Peter’s zoned out in his little pity party, the tv screen lights up, mirroring what Peter assumes is Ned’s computer screen.

“There we go,” Ned looks up at the tv, and MJ plops down on the couch beside Peter, crossing her arms.

“Are you thirsty?” Peter asks, turning to her. “We’re gonna need to hydrate before we cry it all out.”

“How do you guys drink soda like that?” She looks down at the floor, making a disgusted face at the bottles sitting there.

“I know, I know, it’s extremely bad for you,” He laughs, getting on the floor and pouring her a glass of orange soda, before handing it to her. “But it’s so good.”

“I can feel my teeth rotting away already,” She swallows a gulp of it, then turns to him. “But I guess it is pretty good.”

“Ha!” He tells her, pouring a cup for himself.

“Okay, are you guys ready?” Ned asks, hovering the clicker over the “play” button on the screen.

“Let’s do this,” MJ replies, so Ned maximizes the screen, then presses play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 200 comments, over 1000 kudos! When I made this, I had no idea how much positive feedback I would be getting right now!! Thank you :)


	19. Emotional Support

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, bear with me, but I was definitely drunk while writing this (and still am.) I know it's not very long and it's probably extremely boring, but I figured you guys would rather me post now with a shorter chapter than have to wait until tomorrow.
> 
> (Again, I apologize in advance if none of this makes sense. I'm still pretty drunk, I'm sorry!)

It was only five minutes into the movie when Ned, from the chair a few feet away, said, “I already know I'm gonna cry during this entire movie.”

“Shh!” Both Peter and MJ hiss at him, and he holds his hands up, his eyes widening. 

“Jeez,” he replies under his breath, laughing. 

Peter, even though he's excited to watch the movie, makes a point to glance over at MJ every few minutes. She doesn't watch a lot of movies, he knows, but she looks so engulfed, so emerged in it, that he can't stop looking at her and not the movie he's been dying to watch.

It's not like he can see her face, really; not well, at least. The movie is pretty dark, and so is the room they're watching it in, so the only time he can see her face is when there's a brighter scene. It lights the whole side of her face up, and he can't help but smile at the way she's so into it, so in tune with the movie and not her actual surroundings. 

Plus her leg is touching his, and he can't stop thinking about.

When the movie is getting towards the end, MJ shifts in her seat, laying her head against the arm of the couch. Peter’s pretty sure she just doesn’t want them to see her cry. 

“Screw both of you for making me watch that,” Ned blows his nose loudly into a kleenex, the credits rolling on the screen. Peter is wiping his eyes, swallowing thickly.

“I have to use the bathroom,” MJ mumbles under her breath, getting off the couch and walking to the bathroom, careful not to show her face. Peter watches her go, seeing her reach up and wipe her face quickly before she disappears into the bathroom. 

“Dude, is she crying?” Ned whispers, sniffing loudly. Peter nods, wishing she was comfortable enough to let it show in front of them. But she’s tough, and she puts up a wall, and he gets it. He just wish it didn’t have to be that way.

Peter himself uses a tissue to wipe his tears, his nose, before he follows MJ to the bathroom. He knocks softly on the door, and he hears her sniffling behind it. 

“What?” She asks, trying to sound like she wasn’t crying. 

“I just...wanted to make sure you were okay and everything,” He tells her, his heart hurting because hers is. “Can I come in?”

“I’m using the bathroom, perv,” She tells him, and he presses his forehead to the door with a sigh. 

“Okay,” He replies quietly, stepping back. “Me and Ned will just be in here crying when you get out. Our pre-pubescent boy tears I think you called it?” He laughs, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Thanks for the heads up, I'm gonna break out the video camera,” she laughs a little, and he smiles. He backs up then and turns to go back to the living room, but she opens the door. 

He turns and looks at her, and she has red, puffy eyes, but he pretends like he doesn’t notice. She would probably kill him if he brought it up.

“Stop looking at me,” She pushes his shoulder, walking past him. He smiles, following behind her. There’s his MJ.

“So what did you think about the movie?” Peter asks, hoisting himself on the counter in the kitchen. She’s leaning against the island, popping a few peanut M&M’s in her mouth. 

“Are we talking book versus movie opinion, or just the movie itself, without the correlation?” She asks, shedding her hoodie. When she pulls it off, it makes her shirt ride up a little on her stomach, which in return causes Peter to lose his entire train of thought. He hates being a teenage boy sometimes. 

“Uhh,” He takes in a long breath, thinking. “Both.”

“Hmm,” She pulls herself up on the counter across from him, contemplating it. “One of the better page-to-screen adaptations I’ve seen. It really conveyed the emotions of it, although the narration of Death was a lot cooler and less cheesy in the book. As for the movie itself, I thought it was good. A little slow at first, but good. You?”

“I agree,” He nods, feeling completely dumb with his answer. She can articulate her opinions flawlessly, but he just sounds like an idiot with no real stance on anything. “I liked the actors and everything, but you can’t feel the emotions of the characters in a movie like you can a book. The author can just describe it all so well that it feels like you’re experiencing it yourself.”

“Right?” She looks at him, sighing. “It’s like, in a movie you can see someone with a blank expression, and not know how they’re feeling. But in a book it can say they have a blank expression, but go into precise detail about what they’re feeling and why. A movie just can’t capture that. I guess that’s a big reason I like reading so much; you get to feel everything yourself.”

“I get it,” he nods, looking over at her. They make eye contact then, and she’s looking up at him from under her curly hair and long eyelashes. 

There’s that annoying tension again. And he  _ knows  _ it’s all one-sided, because even though he tries to treat MJ like he would Ned, he still has a major crush on her and sometimes he can feel that vibe just radiating off of himself. 

He isn’t sure if he’s imagining it, but this time MJ is looking back at him with a look that doesn’t scream “I hate you.” She’s just looking at him, and he’s looking at her, and he wants to say something but he doesn’t know what would even come out if he opened his mouth right now. 

She extends her leg out then, giving the tiniest smile in the history of smiles as she kicks her foot gently against his leg. He pushes his hair back, smiling as he nudges her back with  _ his  _ foot. 

“MJ! Peter mentioned you’d be coming tonight,” Aunt May walks in, grasping about ten grocery bags in her hands. He loves both Ned and May, but both of them are awful at timing. 

“Let me help,” Peter jumps down, taking the bags from her and setting them up on the counter. 

“I’m so glad you’re back so soon!” May smiles, walking up and hugging MJ. MJ, of course, hugs back awkwardly. Something tells Peter she doesn’t get hugged much, so twice in one day is probably mortifying for her. “I was scared Peter may have ran you off for good.”

“To be honest, I thought so too,” MJ sighs, staring at Peter. “But he promised me snacks, and even  _ I  _ couldn’t refuse that.”

“Understood,” May replies, putting her hand on Peter’s shoulder with a sigh. 

“Hey!” Peter looks between both of them, crossing his arms. 

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” May kisses his forehead, laughing. “So what’s the plan for tonight? Are you staying over, MJ? You know you’re always welcome to.”

“Yeah, I am,” MJ tells her, hopping down from the counter. “I wasn’t going to but this guy was practically  _ begging.  _ It was embarrassing, really, so I kind of felt obligated to give in. For moral reasons, of course.”

“What? I was not  _ begging.  _ Not even close!” Peter turns to May, quick to defend himself. “She’s lying.”

“Oh, I believe you, Peter,” May nods, but then winks at MJ immediately after. 

“I saw that!” Peter looks between them, MJ having a proud, content look on her face.

“Saw what? We didn’t do anything,” MJ raises her eyebrows, shrugging. But underlying that statement is a vague evil look, and Peter sighs. He’s outnumbered. 

“You guys’ weird “team up against Peter” thing is really getting out of hand,” Peter shakes his head, laughing a little as he starts taking the groceries out of their bags and putting them wherever in the kitchen they belong. 

As much as he hates being made fun of, it still makes him unexplainably happy that the girl he likes and the woman that raised him can get along as well as they do. If there was a conflict there - like May disliking his crush, or vice versa - he would probably have to break it off with the girl he liked. Not only because May’s opinion means the world to him, but also because there’s no way he could live a “it’s either me or them” sort of relationship between his significant other and his family. He wants harmony, and he knows that as long as May likes them, they’re definitely, one hundred percent a good person. No question about it. 

“I’m just glad there’s finally another girl in the house besides me!” May laughs, pushing her glasses up as she puts the bag of flour in a cabinet. “I love you and Ned, Peter, don’t get me wrong, but it gets lonely without another girl sometimes.”

“Plus the fact that those two are complete idiots probably doesn’t help,” MJ comments, sighing as she picks up a bag of paper plates. “Where do these go?”

“Right under there,” May points, smiling brighter than Peter has seen in awhile. He rolls his eyes.

“You know, if you think we’re such idiots, maybe you just shouldn’t have come,” Peter replies, but he gives a smile to let her know he’s joking. 

“I actually only really came to see May,” MJ pats his shoulder, then moves past him to put the plates up. “But keep telling yourself I came here for you. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“Shut up,” He laughs, nudging her with his arm. She nudges back, laughing. He wonders if she considers that “their thing” like he does. 

“Well  _ I’m  _ going to go to my room and leave you guys to it,” May smiles knowingly at Peter, who turns away quickly, embarrassed. MJ always picks up on that stuff. “Goodnight!”

“Why am I left out of everything?” Ned walks in then, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“Aw, come here, Ned,” May holds her arms open for a hug, which Ned quickly walks into, smiling happily. “I was going to go say goodnight to you, too, you know.”

“I know, May, I know,” He sighs contently, wrapping his arms around her. MJ and Peter both look at each other then with smiles. 

“Okay, I’m off to bed now,” May tells them, putting her hands on her hips and smiling proudly as she looks at them. “I love all of you. And stay up as late as you want - it’s the weekend! Goodnight.”

“Love you, May,” Peter tells her, giving her a hug. “Goodnight.”

Then their hug ends, and May is walking towards MJ with open arms, which she accepts surprisingly well. 

“Keeps these boys in line for me, would ya?” May squeezes MJ tightly, laughing. 

“I’ll try,” MJ laughs too, looking slightly  _ less  _ uncomfortable than last time. “But no promises.”

Then May whispers something intelligible in MJ’s ear, and MJ smiles and nods. Peter wishes he had his suit on so badly right now so he could have heard it and known what they were whispering about. Probably something about himself, he’s sure, but it’s haunting not to know exactly what. 

Then they part, and May tells them goodnight one last time before waving and going to reside in her room for the rest of the evening. 

“So…” MJ turns, looking between both of them. “What do you guys wanna do now?”

“Well, I just cried my eyes out with absolutely  _ no  _ moral support from my supposed friends,” Ned replies, using air quotes around the word “friends.” “So let’s do something at least a little  _ uplifting,  _ maybe.”

“Like what?” Peter asks, laughing. 

“Play a game, maybe? Or watch something funny?” Ned offers, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t really care what it is, as long as it isn’t watching another depressing, make-me-have-an-existential-crisis sort of movie.”

“I agree,” MJ nods, speaking up. “The movie was good, but it was a major downer.”

“I vote we play would you rather,” Ned looks between both of them, grinning. 

“I’ve never really played before, but…” MJ leans back, breathing out. “Screw it. I’m in.”

“Peter?” Ned looks at him, then MJ does too, waiting. 

“Yeah, sure,” Peter agrees, not exactly sure what he’s getting himself into. “I, uh...I guess I’m in, too.”

“Awesome,” Ned rubs his hands together, and MJ shakes her head with a laugh. “Let’s do this.”

Peter has always hated would you rather. Not only because he prides himself on being a decently private person, but also because the game’s origin was likely created to expose secrets in the most embarrassing setting possible. 

And that’s exactly what he’s terrified of.


	20. Spaghetti

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY for not updating!! My job has been crazy this entire week - double shifts almost every day. When I wasn't working, I just slept, really, so I had no time to write. Again, I'm sorry!!

They’re now sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by snacks, the lights dim around them. Ned is going over the rules for would you rather. 

Peter wants to die. 

“Okay, so you only have  _ one  _ save. Once you’ve used it, you can’t switch the questions out at all, no exceptions.” Ned explains, looking at them like it’s the most serious topic he’s ever discussed.

“Can we just start the game?” MJ groans impatiently, leaning her back against the couch and munching on chips. 

“Wait, one more thing,” Ned tells her, looking between them. “You can either ask one person, or both at a time. You have to specify which when you’re asking the question.”

“Fine,” Peter laughs, rubbing his sweaty palms together anxiously. 

“I’ll start,” Ned tells them, and Peter reaches in the potato chip bag, grabbing a handful. This is definitely the time for comfort food if there ever was one. “This question is for both of you.”

Peter feels a little at ease from that. It couldn’t possibly involve each other if it’s directed at both of them. Right?

“Would you rather accidentally fall down in front of the entire school and their family on graduation day, or accidentally piss yourself in front of half of the school at a regular day's lunch in the cafeteria?” Ned asks, smiling proudly at his choice of questions. 

“Definitely fall down at graduation,” MJ breathes out, answering before Peter even has time to process the questions. “Only because it would make the most people uncomfortable, and that’s kind of what I live for anyway.”

“I guess I’ll go with the same thing, but for different reasons,” Peter laughs, trying not to look at MJ. When he does, he feels like he looks like an idiot, because the more cynical she is, the more in love  _ he  _ is. “Everyone already knows I’m pretty clumsy already so there’s that, but wetting yourself in front of everyone you went to school with for four years? That’s something that would actually haunt me for the rest of my life. I could never live with myself.”

“My turn?” MJ looks at Ned, still laughing at Peter’s answer. He feels extremely accomplished every time she laughs at something he says. Or even just acknowledges it, really.

“Yeah, we’re going clockwise,” Ned tells her, nodding. 

“Okay,” She replies, looking at them and visibly trying to think of something to ask. “Alright, this is for both of you, too. Would you rather...hm...win ten million dollars in the jackpot, or be extremely lucky in everything you do for the rest of your life?”

“Uh, the lucky one,” Ned laughs, as if it’s the most obvious option. 

“Peter?” MJ turns to him, both of them waiting for his answer. He feels so boring. 

“I feel the same way as Ned,” He shrugs, trying to think of something interesting to say. “That could lead up to  _ more  _ than ten million dollars - in both money  _ and  _ experiences. I’d go straight to the casino. Or go try to win the lottery and get ten million on top of the luck.”

“Exactly,” MJ nods, agreeing. Peter feels embarrassingly good about his answer now, only since she agreed with it. God, he needs to get a grip.

A few turns go bye after that, and nothing has been  _ too  _ embarrassing (yet). 

And then...

“MJ, this is for you,” Ned tells her, and Peter immediately feel panic set in his heart. He  _ knew  _ Ned was going to do this eventually. “Would you rather hook up with Peter or Flash?”

“What are we talking here?” MJ replies without hesitation, narrowing her eyes. Peter feels his face warm up. “Hooking up or... _ hooking up?”  _

“The latter,” Ned smiles, and Peter blushes even harder. He’s always hated this damn this game. 

“Hmm. I think I have to go with Peter,” She replies almost immediately. Peter feels like he could pass out. “Not only does Peter have pretty good hands that I think could work some mediocre magic, but he also has that incredibly detailed sex-ed book. I think he’d know how to decently please a woman, unlike Flash who is a complete neanderthal in every sense of the word.”

Even the thought of that sends Peter’s head into a whirlwind. He can’t believe she just admitted it so easily, too. Maybe he should actually  _ thank  _ Ned instead of his original plan, which was to hit him. 

“Fair enough,” Ned shrugs, but glances at Peter for a brief moment, as to say “you’re welcome.” 

She looks at Peter then, probably noticing the overwhelming blush on his face but (thankfully) not saying anything about it. “Okay, I guess this is for...Peter.”

Oh, God.

“Would you rather make me a bowl of the Parker’s world-class spaghetti, or make me a bowl of the Parker’s world-class spaghetti?” She clasps her hands together thoughtfully, and he laughs, breathing out a sigh of relief. God, that was terrifying. 

“Okay, just by saying that means you  _ want  _ him to do that, so it’s not even really a question,” Ned crosses his arms, looking at MJ. “That’s definitely more of a dare command in truth or dare since he doesn’t  _ have  _ to do it in would you rather. So you just wasted your entire turn.”

“Fine, Ned, then now we’re playing truth or dare,” MJ replies, but is still looking directly at Peter with a slightly cocked head. “It’s my turn, and I choose Peter. And, as I’ve stated before, I’m not obsessed, just observant, so I know that you’re a pretty secretive individual. Based on that I’ll assume you’re going to pick dare. So I  _ dare _ you to make me a bowl of the Parker’s world-class spaghetti.” 

“Total misuse of truth or dare power!” Ned protests once again, but it feels like just background noise, because MJ’s staring at Peter and Peter’s staring at MJ and he can’t help but sit in admiration at the display of her obvious intelligence. And to use it to get spaghetti out of it makes it even hotter, really. 

“I’ll make spaghetti for you if you want it,” He replies, laughing dumbly and totally ignoring Ned’s one-sided argument. He’s know’s he’s going to get much deserved hell for that later, probably, but right now he can’t even focus on  _ thinking  _ about it. 

“Good, because I’ve been craving it since I had it that one time,” She rubs her stomach, and they both stand up. “Plus I’m sort of anxious to see if Peter Parker can  _ actually _ cook. I love May but she’s a bit inherently biased I think.”

“I’ll just have to prove it to you then, I guess,” He shrugs, reaching down to grab a pot out of the cabinet. 

“Love the enthusiasm,” She pulls herself onto the counter, rubbing her hands together hungrily as she watches him make it. “Put those magical hands to use and show me what you got, Parker.”

He isn’t sure if it’s his stupid teenage boy mind right now, but that sounded sort of sexual. But he really doesn’t want to be  _ that guy  _ though, so he brushes it off, pretending not to notice. 

“That sounded kind of sexual,” Ned walks in, laughing and voicing Peter’s exact thoughts. 

“That’s because anything that has to do with spaghetti  _ is  _ sexual, Leeds,” She tells him, watching Peter gather all of the essential ingredients and tools together. “I’m getting tingly already.” 

“Well, I can attest and say Peter actually  _ is  _ a good cook,” Ned tells her, opening the fridge and helping Peter grab everything. “Oooh, Peter, get the apron out.”

“No, Ned, shut up,” Peter stops in his tracks, waving a spatula in his general direction to try and get him to shut up. 

“What apron?” MJ asks, grinning because she already knows it’s something embarrassing. 

“Ned,” Peter looks at him, silently pleading. But Ned’s smiling with excitement, happy to finally be able to share Peter’s embarrassing stories with someone else.

“I have to, Peter,” He replies with a sigh, and Peter rubs the bridge of his nose with humiliation as Ned pulls it from the drawer. 

Okay, it’s not the worst thing ever. Definitely not any more embarrassing than MJ finding his sex-ed book, but still pretty high up on the “what keeps me up at night” list. 

“That’s Peter’s?!” MJ laughs, jumping down from the counter to get a better look. It’s a white apron with spatulas and chef hats, with huge letters on the front that spell out “CHEF PARKER,” and then right under it in smaller letters, “A BALANCED DIET IS A COOKIE IN EACH HAND.”

“This looks like something one of those suburban wine mom’s would wear when they pretended to make dinner,” MJ laughs out, getting incredibly happy over yet another reason to make fun of Peter. “Chef Peter is your new nickname by the way.”

“Ha ha,” He rolls his eyes, laughing a little himself as he turns to pour the noodles into the boiling pot of water. “I went through a cooking phase, okay? Plus I was only, like, ten when I got this made.”

“Thirteen,” Ned coughs out, and MJ starts laughing even harder. 

“I hate both of you,” Peter shakes his head, snatching it from Ned’s hands. “And you know what? Make fun all you want - I’m not embarrassed.”

So he puts it on then, tying it around his back and wearing it proudly. 

“Good one,” MJ sighs contently, her and Ned high-fiving. “Making fun of Peter is my favorite pastime. Never gets old.”

“I’m glad I’m able to entertain you,” He looks up at her, shaking his head with a soft laugh. 

“Sorry, Peter, but you have to admit it’s a little funny,” Ned shrugs, watching as Peter starts on the sauce. 

“Fine, it’s a little funny,” Peter breathes out, looking down at it with a laugh. 

“Again, now it’s boring when you aren’t humiliated by it anymore,” MJ sighs, still having a hint of a smile on her as she leans her head back against the counter.

Peter accidentally drops his spatula then in a mesmerized distraction from her smile, and then as he leans down to pick it up, he knocks over the entire jar of utensils; which then fall on the floor with a loud bang. 

“Smooth,” MJ laughs, and his face heats up again as he gets down to pick them up. 

“Oops,” he mutters under his breath, before standing back up and pretending it didn't happen. “Ned, can you, um, get the garlic cloves out?”

“I can do it, chef Parker,” MJ replies, making herself laugh as she walks over to the fridge. 

“Shut up,” Peter laughs, now trying to focus on making the perfect sauce.

It's probably twenty minutes later when everything is put together and finished. He has it all set out on the counter, and is now actually nervous for her to taste it. He’s scared it isn’t going to be as good as she thinks it is; or worse, not good at all. 

That's why he taste-tested it about a million times before finally announcing it was done. 

So Ned grabs a plate, and then Peter grabs for the next under it, already anxious to see MJ’s reaction and they haven’t even sat down yet.

“Don’t even try to pull a “lady and the tramp” on me, Parker,” She laughs, and he looks up, realizing she had already grabbed that same plate, too. So he lets go, laughing it off nervously. 

“You  _ wish _ I would,” he grabs the bottom plate then, smiling smugly. It's all fake, really, but she seems to like it when he fights back, so he makes an attempt at it. 

“Uh, no.  _ You  _ wish  _ I  _ wish you would,” she fires back, and Ned’s just shaking his head as he sprinkles cheese on top of his spaghetti. 

Peter laughs in complete adoration, then lets it die out as he forces himself to focus on making his plate. He hates acting weird around her, and every time he looks at her or thinks about her for too long, he acts weird. So he tries to avoid it altogether. 

When they sit down, Peter is tapping his foot against the floor, impatiently waiting for MJ to taste his food. It’s actually extremely nerve-wracking, and as stupid as it is, he feels like it’s significant for her to like it if she’s going to ever like  _ him.  _

“Mmm,” She takes a bite, sighing. “That’s so good. Didn’t think I’d ever say this, Parker, but good job. Honestly. This is amazing.”

“Really?” He asks, smiling hopefully. He actually feels like he's never been so proud of something in his life. 

“Not to blow your head up even bigger than it already is, but this is probably the best spaghetti I've ever had,” she explains, practically stuffing her face with it. “And that's coming from an expertise in the field of spaghetti tasting.”

“Thanks,” he nods, smiling down as he takes a bite of it, content. 

“You might not even have to even physically use those magic hands on me at all,” she looks up at him for a second with a raised eyebrow, insinuating something  _ outright  _ sexual now. His heart starts pounding like crazy, and he doesn't even know how to respond. That's probably her goal, though, since it's not exactly hard for her to make him speechless. “Don't get too excited, Parker, it was only a joke.”

“I-I know that,” he replies under his breath, finally eating the spaghetti himself. But now he can't stop thinking about… _ that.  _ “Obviously.”

“You guys are weird,” Ned sighs, eating his spaghetti happily. 

Peter’s pretty happy too, because he keeps thinking about how close he and MJ are now. He thought he would have never been able get to know her this well, let alone have her in his apartment, staying the night for the second time.

Now if he can only convey his feelings to her in a way that she  _ won't  _ hate him for.


	21. Truth or Dare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't been updating frequently like I should be. Please expect the next update to be around Sunday or Monday, and again I'm sorry! I'm trying my hardest, but it's hard to juggle a lot of things right now!

“I could eat that for the rest of my life,” MJ sighs contently, lying in between Ned and Peter on the floor of the living room and staring up at the ceiling fan. “I think that might be the only thing that could ever tie us together forever, Parker.”

“I might have to start charging you for my world-class spaghetti, then,” he laughs, his hand on his now-full stomach as he turns to look at her.

“I think my pleasantly challenging personality is more than enough of a reimbursement, thank you,” She turns to look at him, smiling and shrugging.

“I'm gonna interrupt you guys' weirdly intimate flirting by saying that I think we should actually finish our game of would you rather. Well, technically truth or dare, I guess. You can't have a real sleepover without at least one of those.” Ned tells them, sitting up to look at them.

“Well, I wouldn't know since I haven't ever had a real sleepover before,” She looks back up at the ceiling, then turns to Ned. “Except for the time that I stayed here, but that was technically accidental.”

“It's settled then,” Ned sits up, sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Time to play truth or dare.”

“Do we  _have_ to?” Peter groans, forcing himself to sit up.

“Oh, shut it, Parker,” MJ sits up too, groaning in the process from being too full. “Don't be such a killjoy.”

“I’m not being a killjoy I just...hate these stupid games,” He huffs, pushing his hair back with his palm and crossing his own legs, sitting across from Ned.

“Why?” MJ turns to him, tilting her head in suspicion. “Got something to hide?”

“What? Psssht,” He laughs, waving her off. “No. No way.”

“Good,” She smiles and rubs her hands together evilly, turning to Ned. “Then let’s play.”

“Okay, new rules,” Ned looks at them happily, using his usual set of serious hand motions. “Again, you can only back out of  _one_ question throughout the game. Also, if the person backs out of it, you can’t reword the question and make them answer it. What else...oh, and you can’t ask the same person twice. You have to alternate it each turn. Also the dares have to be something within this apartment. I don’t think any of us want to see May’s bad side if she found out we left it this late at night.”

“Sounds fair,” MJ nods, as careless as ever. Is she not worried about this at all? That may just be a clear sign right there that she must not like him, right? Everyone knows the  _real_ questions people want to ask in truth or dare is either A) they choose truth, and the asker says “who’s your crush?” or, B) they choose dare, and asker says “I dare you to tell me who your crush is.”

Not that he really thought she ever had a crush on him anyway, but still. A little part of him is always  _hoping...._

“Peter, your turn,” MJ snaps in front of his zoned-out face, laughing. “Since I technically made the last move by daring you to make me food.”

“Oh yeah, sorry,” He laughs, gulping. “Uhh, Ned. Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Ned replies, already having pre-meditated his answer.

“Come on dude, we know everything about each other already,” Peter groans, laughing as he throws his hands up.

“Then you should have picked me,” MJ speaks up, raising an eyebrow. Peter already feels himself breaking a sweat. She already can tell he’s trying to avoid something, and he knows it. This is going to suck really, really bad.

“Maybe I didn’t want to,” He crosses his arms, smiling playfully at her. Even though he wants to run away right now and never come back, he refuses to let himself show that. She picks up on that sort of thing immediately.

“Shut it,” She kicks him, laughing a little, then turning to look at Ned while shaking her head.

“I’m not changing my answer. Still truth.” Ned crosses his arms, standing his ground.

“Fine,” Peter replies, trying to think of something to ask him. “What’s a secret you  _haven’t_ told me?”

“I was the one who had your key to this apartment that time,” Ned sighs, then begins elaborating. “But I found it in my backpack like, a month later, and I figured you might kill me so I decided it would be better to, you know, not tell you.”

“Oh my God I  _knew_ it!” Peter’s mouth drops, feeling betrayed.

“Wait, what?” MJ speaks up, looking between them. “I have to hear this story.”

“We don’t really need to get into it, you kno-” Ned starts, but Peter interrupts.

“Me and Ned snuck out of the house one night to get ice cream, and I didn’t want to bring my full backpack, so I just got Ned to carry my stuff in his bag, right? Well we got back to the apartment, and couldn’t find my keys. We couldn’t knock on the door because May would have  _killed_ us, so we ended up having to sit in the lobby  _all night_ because Ned  _insisted_ I never gave him the keys. On a school night, too. Oh my God, Ned.”

“See? That’s why I never told you,” Ned shrugs, and Peter rubs the bridge of his nose.

“God, you guys are losers,” MJ shakes her head, laughing in amusement.

“Fine,” Peter breathes out, forcing a smile. “Forgiven and forgotten.”

“Great,” Ned smiles happily, reaching over to pat Peter’s shoulder. “My turn. Hmmm, okay. MJ, truth or dare?”

No. No, no, no. Peter knows Ned would never expose his Spider-Man secret, but his crush on MJ? Ned couldn’t expose him fast enough, given the chance. He also gets a kick out of embarrassing Peter too, so there’s that.

“Hmm, dare,” MJ replies, and Peter feels a tiny bit of relief at that. He’ll feel decently comfortable as long as it isn’t truth.

“I dare you to...lick the floor,” Ned tells her, and Peter makes a disgusted face.

“Ugh, gross, Ned,” Peter laughs a little, looking at MJ’s reaction.

“It’s  _supposed_  to be hard,” Ned shrugs, laughing.

“Fine,” She tells them, leans down, then runs her tongue on the floor. Doesn’t make a face, cringe, nothing. God, she’s so badass. “Done. My turn?”

“Yeah,” Ned replies, taken aback. She wasn’t fazed at all.

“Peter. Truth or dare?” She asks, staring at him. He’s sweating so badly right now.

“Dare,” He answers, swallowing thickly.

“I dare you to suck Ned’s big toe for ten seconds,” She smiles, and his mouth drops open.

“Are you kidding? No way.” Peter crosses his arms, refusing.

“Okay, you’re using your save then? Ned, your turn.” She tells him, and Peter groans.

“Fine. Fine, I’ll do it,” He gives in, chills running down his spine. The only reason he’s agreeing to this is because he knows there are going to be  _much_ worse dares later on, and he doesn’t want to waste his save quite yet. “I hate you for this, MJ.”

“Aw, thanks, Parker,” She puts her hand on her heart, sighing contently. “And I want full mouth-to-toe coverage, by the way.”

“Do I not have a say in this?” Ned huffs, disgusted and not wanting to do it either.

“Uhhh, not really,” MJ answers, laughing.

“Let’s just get it over with,” Peter whines, taking Ned’s sock off. “Ready?”

“I mean I guess?” Ned answers, and Peter closes his eyes, leans in, and puts Ned’s big toe in his mouth.

MJ’s counting up while laughing hysterically, taking her sweet time before going to the next number.

"God, this feels so weird," Ned cringes halfway through, and Peter wants to die. Like he said before, he _hates_ this game.

“Ten!” She laughs, and Peter backs up, then runs to the bathroom to brush his teeth out.

MJ and Ned are  _still_ laughing when Peter gets back in the living room.

“Shut up,” Peter puts his face in his hands, shaking his head miserably. “I can never look at you the same again, dude. Not after knowing what your toe tastes like.”

“I personally thought it brought us closer together in a way,” Ned tells him, laughing. “Our bond is now unbreakable.”

“See? Look at the bright side,” MJ playfully punches his shoulder, making him groan in embarrassment.

“Can we just move on and never talk about this again, please?” Peter breathes out, swearing he can still taste the toe in his mouth. He cringes. “Okay, fine, MJ, if you wanna go there, then truth or dare?”

Now, MJ obviously thinking he's going to dare her to do something gross, replies, “truth.”

“Why do you miss school so much?” Peter asks, lightening his tone a little. It's a serious question, and the room sort of gets an awkward tension in it because of that.

He regrets it immediately after it leaves his lips. He wanted her to tell him on her own time, not like this. But in the moment it came out, and he couldn't stop it.

“I'm...I think I'm gonna use my save,” She looks down at the floor, gulping. She obviously wasn't expecting the question, so her entire demeanor changed in an instant. He feels bad now, but it also makes him like her even more, for some reason. He loves that, even though it's actually an amazing thing she's doing, she still stays true to her privacy instead of just trying to impress by bragging about it. It really means something to her.

“Okay, my turn,” Ned chirps in, sensing the horrible atmosphere and letting his first instinct of making everything less awkward take over. Thank god for Ned. “Peter, truth or dare?”

Peter, still a little dazed and feeling guilty, accidentally says “truth.”

“No, I mean dare,” he quickly redeems himself, shaking his head. "Not truth."

“Too late, no take backs,” Ned answers happily, finally getting what he wanted. “Do you like anyone?”

“I….” Peter hesitates, feeling on the spot. He even sees MJ look up at him, too.

“We all know he's going to be in love with Liz for the rest of his loser life,” MJ laughs, now being the one to lighten the mood herself.

So she doesn't know about his crush on her? That's actually...surprising.

Peter thanks God that he didn't ask what his crush’s name was instead. Not even Ned is  _that_ mean.

“Yeah, exactly,” Peter breathes out, gulping. “I mean...of course.”

“Alright, Ned, truth or dare?” MJ asks, feigning innocence. Peter sees right through it, but Ned doesn’t seem to.

“Dare, I guess,” he shrugs, and Peter widens his eyes and holds back laughter, because he already knows exactly what she’s going to make him do, because he was going to make him do the same thing.

“I dare you to ask Betty out Monday.” She crosses her arms, and Peter bursts into laughter.

“Ha!” Peter points at him, overjoyed. “I’ve been waiting to ask that but he always picked truth.”

“That’s exactly why I _didn’t_ pick dare with you,” Ned whines, leaning his head back against the chair. “I didn’t think MJ would make me do it.”

“You underestimate my level of depravity, Leeds,” She sighs, smiling happily.

“Fine, then I’m using my save,” Ned throws his hands up, defeated. “I have to do it on my own terms.”

“What? Come on, Ned,” Peter complains, disappointed.

“You’re one to talk! It took you like, two weeks just to-” he starts, but Peter widens his eyes, pleading him not to go on further. Ned seems to realize then, widening his own eyes. “Just to...uh, ask Liz out to homecoming. Obviously.”

“Fine,” MJ gives in, sighing and seemingly not picking up on what they're talking about, thank god. “Peter’s the only one left with a save. And it’s his turn.”

“Jesus, this if feeling more and more like russian roulette,” Peter rubs his temples, trying to clear his head. “Okay, um, MJ. Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” she smirks, narrowing her eyes. She’s trying to mess with him.

Now he wants to think of something good.

“Do you...like anyone?” He asks, trying to act like he has no sort of personal bias at all. Just a question for a friend, that’s it. That’s what he’s convincing himself of, at least.

“Yeah, actually,” She nods, not hesitating for a second. “I guess maybe you could...technically say that.”

She doesn’t elaborate on it, but it’s so obviously not him that he actually feels pain in his chest. He wishes he wouldn’t have even asked now.

“MJ,” Ned clears his throat, purposely pulling Peter from his silent pity fest. He doesn’t even want to  _know_ who her crush is, just because it would hurt way too much. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” MJ replies confidently, and Peter gulps, trying to pretend like his feelings aren’t severely damaged right now.

“I dare you…” Ned replies happily, looking between both of them. Peter suddenly gets worried at the face Ned is making. It can’t be  _that_ bad, right? But Peter’s seen that face on Ned before, and it’s never been good. He swallows thickly, feeling like he’s been sitting here waiting for an entire decade. “To kiss Peter.”


	22. First Base

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said the next update wouldn't be until Sunday or Monday, but I got some free time so I figured I wouldn't leave you guys hanging too long to see what happens...:)

“What?” Peter swallows thickly, looking at Ned. This can't be happening. “Oh my God, Ned. You...you don't have to do that, MJ. Ned’s just..”

“Actually, I kinda do. I'm all out of saves,” she shrugs, and if she cares even a little about having to do this, she's not showing it in the least bit. “Grow up, you big baby.”

“I am, I just...thought _you_ wouldn't want to do this,” he breathes out, feeling panicky. Is she really going to go through with it?

“Oh, I don’t, but I don’t back out of dares either,” she brushes it off, and Peter turns to look at Ned, who has his chin propped on his hand, which is sitting on his knee, and he’s smiling like he’s the proudest best friend there ever was. “Come here, Parker, and get ready for the best kiss of your pathetic life.”

“Best kiss? As if he’s had anything to compare it to,” Ned laughs out, then quickly looks away, pretending to find the ceiling extremely interesting when he realizes Peter is giving him a death glare.

“Thanks a lot, Ned, really,” Peter groans, putting his face in his hands.

“What? It’s not like I have either,” Ned shrugs, not seeming to see the big deal. Peter actually wants to die.

“Wow. Well then I’m about to rock your world, Parker,” MJ pushes his shoulder then jokingly, but she’s not making fun of him like he thought she would be. Not yet at least, but then again she hasn’t kissed him yet either, so there’s still a good chance torment will follow closely behind.

He doesn’t even know _how_ to kiss, so he’s actually full of terror at the moment. Especially since his first kiss has to be with someone that he likes so much. What if he does something irreparably stupid?

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Ned claps and chants in excitement, cheering them on. He’s not completely loud because he doesn’t want to lure May into here at the wrong moment, but he’s happy and encouraging enough to put a humiliated smile and blush on Peter’s face, and cause MJ to laugh.

“You sure you brushed all of that toe out of your mouth earlier?” MJ asks, leaning in a little. His heart is pounding so fast, that he hears ringing in his ears and his head feels like it’s spinning.

“Hey, if you make out with me, you make out with Ned, too,” Peter laughs, trying his hardest to pull himself together. “We’re part of a packaged deal.”

“Love the homoerotic undertones,” MJ laughs too, and he can’t catch his breath, and oh God, why does she have to glance down at his mouth like that when he already can’t focus as it is?

“What about the floor? You didn’t even wash your mouth out. Should _I_ be worried?” He smiles, his voice shaky. He hopes she doesn’t notice.

“Like I said before, I form unhealthy relationships with inanimate objects,” She shrugs, looking down at the floor with a sigh. “Me and the floor are now in a committed relationship. That was actually us going to the next level and getting to first base, so now we’re part of a packaged deal, too.”

“You’re a weirdo,” He laughs, shaking his head.

“A weirdo that _you’re_ about to make out with,” She wiggles her eyebrows up and down suggestively at him, and his heart feels like it’s about to explode just hearing her say that.

Her legs are tucked underneath her but she’s leaning towards him from the side, twisting her body slightly and placing her hand on the floor to get closer. Her hair is all curly and messy and beautiful and she’s looking at him like she’s actually going to go through with it.

But it has to be a joke, right? He can imagine it all now: she’ll pretend like she’s leaning in for a kiss, but then she’ll really just burst into laughter and make fun of him about it for the rest of eternity. He can hear her now, saying “I can’t believe you _actually_ thought I’d do it!” and then she would laugh and laugh and laugh. So yeah, this must be a joke. It has to be.

“Plant one on me, Parker,” She whispers and gives a tiny, smug smile, glancing between his eyes and his mouth. Then she grabs his shirt in her fist, and pulls him towards her, kissing him right on the lips.

Peter hears Ned gasp and laugh in surprise, but it feels distant and foggy, because all he can think about is how close she is and how nice she smells and how her soft, warm lips are pressed against his in the most perfect way possible.

He freezes for a moment because of his complete and utter shock at what’s happening. God, _is_ this happening? His stomach is doing flips and his palms are sweating and he can’t process anything going on in his brain right now.

But he forces himself to.

He makes himself realize that this is probably the only time he’s ever going to get a chance like this in his life, and the last thing he wants to do is waste it.

So he slides his hand gently down her arm, the one that’s pulling on his shirt, and squeezes it gently. Then he uses his other hand and slides his fingers to the back of her neck, pulling her in closer.

He feels her lean more into him and smile against his lips, as she grips his shirt tighter in her fist. Her breathing is heavy too, which is something that he knows he wants to remember feeling and experiencing when this all ends. And as ridiculous and cliche as it sounds, he’s convinced sparks are flying all around them.

“Not bad,” He hears MJ saying, and then he feels her release his shirt from her hold. He can’t even remember the kiss ending. He’s still in a complete daze, and he’s unable to process everything around him at the speed of reality. He feels drunk. Or what he _imagines_ being drunk feels like, at least. “And I’m telling you, I was really looking for something to make fun of him about. But it was actually pretty good. Kudos, Parker. All that practice on your teddy bear actually sort of paid off.”

“Peter? What are your thoughts?” Ned turns to him, purposely trying to snap him out of his stupor.

“Good,” He gulps, nodding dumbly. “The, uh, kiss I mean. It was good.”

“I think I deserve a little more than “good” for my extravagant performance, but I guess I’ll take it,” She shrugs, dusting off her shoulders.

“It would have been great except for the fact that I think I got some dirt in my mouth. Passed on from your boyfriend, the floor, of course.” He replies, forcing a laugh. He’s still overcome with so many emotions that he’s barely even _sane_ yet. And now he's expected to function like a normal human being after a kiss like that?

“You’re welcome,” She winks playfully, then turns around and sits exactly where she had before Ned had dared them to kiss. “Okay, so my turn? Peter, truth or dare?”

And so they end up playing another three or four rounds, with nothing quite as exciting as the kiss happening, though.

“I think we've exceeded the amount of time we need to play this game to make this a certified sleepover,” MJ tells them, plopping down on the couch. “I'm out.”

“I agree,” Ned replies, getting off the ground and in his chair, yawning. “I'm pretty sure we've done every dare and asked every question possible in the history of truth or dare.”

“So what now?” Peter asks, tossing a pillow at Ned. “Don't fall asleep, Ned.”

“I'm not. I'm good.” Ned waves him off, but Peter has seen that sleepy look before from their prior sleepovers. “I’m not even tired.”

“Mind if I have some room to sit?” Peter crosses his arms and looks down at MJ, who is spread out across the entire couch with her tall, lanky body.

“Nah, I don't think I wanna move,” she sighs, shrugging her shoulders and looking up at him.

“Fine,” he replies carelessly, and proceeds to sit down on top of her legs.

“God, I hate you,” she laughs, pulling her feet out from under him and shaking her head. He laughs too, glancing over at her. She's looking at him, her smile fading slowly.

“What the hell are _you_ looking at?” She kicks him a little, her smile sneaking back on her face. He can't even look at her now without his face heating up like the fires of hell.

“Just examining how…stupid you look.” He pushes her foot, laughing and swallowing thickly.

“Yeah? Well _I'm_ just examining how dorky _you_ look.” She teases back, and he can tell she's trying not to smile.

“God, get a room,” Ned groans, and Peter laughs uncomfortably.

“Good idea, Leeds. You up for round two?” MJ sits up a little, pointing her thumb over her shoulder and staring at Peter. “I'll have to break the bad news to the floor first, though, if you don't mind.”

Peter sits there in silence with his mouth open, unable to even process a thought in his head. Of course she's joking, that's obvious, but to even hear it out of her own mouth makes him act like a drooling dumbass.

“God, I'm joking,” she laughs, shaking her head. “It's way too easy to mess with you. Seriously, you need to work on that, like, yesterday.”

“What? I didn't even…I didn't even hear what you said. I was just thinking about, like, homework,” he waves her off, pretending to have no idea what she's talking about.

“Convincing,” she replies sarcastically, then gets up from the couch, stretching. “I'm gonna grab another plate of spaghetti. Anyone want something while I'm up?”

Before they can answer, she turns and walks towards the kitchen, telling them, “Just kidding. There's no way I'd actually get either of you anything.”

“So? How was the kiss?” Ned whispers from the chair as soon as MJ disappears, having the biggest smile on his face.

“Dude, a warning would have been great!” Peter glances over at the kitchen then, making complete sure MJ isn't listening in. Not that she'd even care, but still.

“I knew that if I warned you, you would have chickened out,” Ned shrugs. That simple. “So you're welcome.”

“It was...it was like magic. It was even better than I imagined, you know?” Peter smiles, sighing longingly. “God, I'm in way too deep.”

“Well maybe all it took was a kiss for her to realize her true feelings for you,” Ned tells him, and Peter nods, but doesn't even really believe it. “I bet she’ll confess them any day now.”

“Except she has a crush on someone else,” Peter breathes out, disappointed at the rude reminder his brain kept putting in his head.

“She was probably just joking about that,” Ned assures him, once again being the best friend ever. “Who wouldn't like Peter Parker?”

“Shut up,” Peter rolls his eyes, laughing. “I just...I just hope she maybe sees me differently now.”

“Shh, she's coming,” Ned tells him, glancing at the kitchen.

Both of them sit back in their seats, clearing their throats and pretending like nothing was happening.

“Whoa, what's with the severely weird “trying not to look suspicious around the person who just walked in because we probably didn't want her to hear what we were saying” poses?” MJ stops in her tracks and looks between both of them, narrowing her eyes.

Ned and Peter look at each other then, both waiting for the other to vocalize an excuse.

“Actually, I kinda don't care,” she tells them, sitting back down on the couch with a plate full of spaghetti settled comfortably on her stomach. She outstretches her long legs across Peter’s lap, crossing them and taking a bite. Then, with a full mouth of food, “So what are we watching?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!!! Even I've been waiting forever for this and I'm the writer, lol. So what do you guys think about the kiss??
> 
> (P.S. would you all rather me keep updating the way I do (2-3 semi-short chapters a week) or would you rather it be one longer chapter a week like a lot of writers do? Just let me know in the comments!)


	23. Banter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize for the delayed updating...I do have some big ideas for the next few chapters, so don't go anywhere :)

“Leeds has been knocked out over there ever since the climax of the  _ first  _ episode,” MJ taps Peter’s chest with her knee, laughing a little as she nudges her head towards where Ned’s snoozing in his chair. 

“He never makes it past midnight,” Peter laughs, looking from a drooling Ned over to MJ, laying his head back against the couch. 

They had started watching Law and Order: SVU earlier since MJ insisted it was the best show ever. Peter felt sick just reading the synopsis for the episode, but he decided to trust her judgement. 

Big mistake. The show is gross and horrific, and his stomach turned throughout the entire two episodes they've watched. He has no idea how she watches this so much.

On the bright side, he did figured out where her Stabler reference a few days prior came from.

Back to reality and she’s still looking over at Ned, smiling, and Peter is looking at  _ her,  _ smiling. She’s so beautiful and funny and mean and smart, and all he can think about is kissing her again. Especially somewhere where they’re alone, and it’s romantic, and where she’s kissing him because she  _ wants  _ to, not because she was dared to. 

“I can tell you're not really into this show,” she turns to Peter then, making him awaken from his thoughts, gulping. “And normally I wouldn't care, but I guess I am at  _ your _ house. Besides, it does take some getting used to, I get it.”

“What do you want to do then?” He asks, both of their voices low as to not wake Ned. She's still lying her head on the other side of the couch, her legs on top of him. They had to get a blanket earlier too, and he even coerced his way into sharing it with her somehow. 

“I guess just sit here and wait for you to actually look me in the eye again for the first time since we kissed,” she shrugs, and he goes completely still. “I think you've set some sort of record.”

“What? Pssht, I can...I can look you in the eyes easy.” He scoffs, waving her off in an attempt at casualty. 

“Then why are you  _ still  _ looking at the wall,” she turns his head to face her, and he swallows thickly. They're so close. Not like “I can feel you breathing” close, but...close. And her hand is on his cheek, and he suddenly gets an extremely vivid visual of their kiss. “And not at me? Even when I pointed it out?”

“I'm looking you in the eyes now,” he tells her, and she shrugs it off, laying back down with a laugh. She’s always purposely intimidating him, but he kinda likes it. 

Okay, he likes it a lot. 

“Barely,” she narrows her eyes at him, analyzing his face. “Look, I get it; It was your first kiss - mine too. But if I knew you were going to act all weird and fidgety I w-”

“That was your first kiss too?” Peter looks at her, and she rolls her eyes, sitting up slightly. 

“Yeah, and?” She shrugs it off, just like that. 

“Nothing, it's just...you could have saved me the humiliation and said that, you know.” He laughs, trying to discreetly take in decent-sized breaths so he doesn't let her see how heavy it really is. 

“Well, I could tell Leeds was counting on the humiliation factor when he spilled the secret, so I didn't want to let him down, you know? I was only being a good friend, is all,” she replies, a small smile tugging at the sides of her mouth. He rolls his eyes with a laugh. “Plus I don't see it as a big deal. I never really dreamed about having my first kiss or anything like that, but I could tell it was a pretty important thing to you guys. I guess I just didn't want to ruin that. Or...you know, something.”

“Aw, she  _ does  _ have a heart,” Peter nudges her, smiling. 

“Idiot,” she laughs, rolling her eyes. 

“That's actually sort of, uh...comforting, though. That it was both of our firsts, you know? It makes me feel a little better about it all.” He tells her, actually making real, non-forced eye contact. 

“What, nervous you were bad, Parker?” She asks, and he looks away, laughing. God, he could die. 

He thinks back to what Ned told him what seems like forever ago: “I mean, it was you guys’ weird, twisted way of flirting where you both, like, make fun of each other relentlessly. But it's still flirting.” 

_ Are _ they flirting? Peter’s never really consciously flirted with someone before, and the only real flirting he’s ever seen has been in movies. And yes, he and Ned have definitely seen their fair share of rom-coms, but those are just movies. They aren’t real life, like this is. 

So could this possibly be flirting? Their weird, playful back-and-forth they have going? It obviously is on his end, whether he consciously means to or not, but is it for her? It seems impossible. Plus, she’s sort of like this with everyone, right? This is so difficult. 

“No, I just…” He laughs it off, then sighs. “Maybe. But, I mean, come on. Isn’t  _ everyone  _ nervous about their first kiss?”

“I wasn’t,” She tells him confidently, and he looks over at her, trying to read if she’s lying or not. Like always, though, she’s impossible to read. 

“Yeah, well you’re…” He looks at her, sighs, then looks over at Ned. “You’re you.”

“And what exactly does that mean?” She kicks him, laughing. He suddenly realizes how rude that sounded, so he sits up, laughing nervously and trying to redeem himself. 

“Just that you...you’re confident. You don’t care what people think about you.” He tells her, and she nods, agreeing. “It’s a good thing. It’s awesome, really.”

“Are you saying you aren’t those things?” She asks, seemingly curious. 

“I mean I try to be, yeah. I’m...you know, working on it.” He laughs a little, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I get it,” she nods, and he can’t tell if she  _ actually  _ gets it or she’s just being sarcastic and making fun of him. It’s impossible to ever know with her. “Well, if it means anything, you’re the best kiss  _ I’ve  _ ever had.” 

“That’s because I’m the  _ only  _ one you’ve ever had,” he laughs, and she nods.

“Exactly my point.” she replies with a smug smile, shrugging proudly. “I feel kind of bad now, though.”

“Bad? Why?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“Because not only was it the best kiss you’ve had to date, but it will be the best kiss you’ll  _ ever  _ have. Every kiss after it is going to be a huge disappointment.” She sighs with pretend sadness, trying not to smile. “So I’m sorry about simultaneously giving you the best experience of your life, and also for forcing you to be let down for the rest of it. My bad.”

“Okay, you don’t even  _ know  _ if that’s going to be the best kiss of my life,” He laughs, shaking his head. 

“Actually, I do,” she tells him, as if she has cold, hard proof of it. Then she leans in, whispering, and says: “Want me to kiss you again and prove it?”

“Sure, let’s do it,” he nods, finally able to fully hold his own against her. And it works too, because she actually looks shocked. He’s never really seen that on her before.

“God, you wish,” She wipes the surprise from her face immediately then, and laughs. 

“I think  _ you  _ wish,” He shrugs, trying to act careless. In reality, though, he can hardly breathe. “You’re the one who keeps making “jokes” about it.”

“That’s only to get you all Peter’d up. It's so easy. Fun to watch, too.” 

“You're annoying,” he laughs, and, like clockwork, he gets a small kick to the side.

“Um,  _ you're  _ annoying,” she fires back, smiling. 

“My annoyingness doesn't cross out your annoyingness.”

“It should. Your annoyingness is so overwhelming that it really just cancels out any other annoying presence in a two mile radius.” She retorts, crossing her arms.

“Shut up,” he groans, kicking her back gently. 

“Why don't you make me?” She raises an eyebrow, and he swallows thickly.

“Maybe I will,” he tells her, and it's very clear neither of them are giving in any time soon. 

“Show me, then,” she whispers, leaning in slowly.

He knows that if he actually  _ did  _ kiss her right now, she'd probably knock him out. But this is all a huge joke and neither seem to want to give in.

“Fine, you...you win,” he laughs, and she gives a “ha!” and pumps her first.

“I knew you were too big of a baby. Plus, I always win anyway. I would have never given in.” she hums proudly, and he, once again, rolls his eyes. 

“Exactly why I  _ didn’t  _ keep trying,” he answers, shrugging carelessly. “Because I didn’t want to end up having to kiss you again, obviously.”

“Mhmm,” she nods, laughing. “How believable.”

“It doesn’t have to be believable if it’s true.”

“This was a lot more fun when you were all nervous and squirmy.” 

“Too bad.”

“That’s all you got? “Too bad”?”

“What else is there to say? That I’m sorry for ruining your fun? I’m not.”

“God, will you shut up for once in your life, Parker?”

“Nope.”

* * *

When Peter wakes up, he feels exhausted and achy and his leg is cramped up and there’s light shining through the window right on his face, of course. It doesn’t take him long to realize where he is: on the couch, his legs tangled with MJ’s.

He sits up a little, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He looks over at Ned, who is sound asleep and splayed across his chair in what looks like a very uncomfortable position. Then he looks over at MJ. 

Her hair is pulled back out of her face, and she’s laying on the couch’s arm because she has her arms wrapped around her pillow tightly. Her long legs are curled up for the most part, but they’re still twisted with Peter’s, and her feet are pressed against his chest. Also, she’s drooling. Not that he’s ever even thought that drooling is something that’s in any way attractive, but it’s actually sort of cute when she does it. 

He smiles and lays back down against his pillow, sighing happily as he thinks about the previous night. 

They had obviously verbally fought for an embarrassingly-long amount of time, but then after that they decided to watch The Office. A show that Peter had never watched before, which, in return, appalled MJ greatly. So she forced him to watch. It was actually really funny, though, although he has to admit he was a little afraid of her judgement after the last show she forced him to watch. 

They watched quite a few episodes, and Peter guesses it was around three in the morning when he dozed off. He isn’t sure about MJ, but she probably wasn’t too far behind. 

So he lays back down against the couch, taking in how peaceful she looks for once. This is probably one of the only times he’s ever going to see her and she’s not being mean to him, so he decides to not take any second of it for granted. 

“Move your stupid legs,” She groans out in a tired morning voice, kicking his side and not even opening an eye as she adjusts her head against the couch arm.

Well that was short-lived. 

 


	24. Routine

The weekend went by painfully slowly. MJ had left around lunch on Saturday - after May insisted on her eating first - and she left with a flat “see you losers on Monday.”

As soon as she walks out the door, Ned spills the entire previous night’s happenings to May. Although Peter blushed and protested it, it was actually pretty nice to be able to  _ talk  _ about it and get out all of these pent-up feelings he’s held inside since the kiss happened. 

“Aw, your first kiss!” May grins proudly, squeezing his cheek between her thumb and index finger. He rolls his eyes, swatting her away with a laugh. “My Peter is growing up so fast.”

“It wasn’t my ideal sort of first kiss, but...it was great,” he sighs, staring at a wall dreamily. 

“I’m sure it was for her too, Peter,” May reaches over, doing that slightly annoying thing where she ruffles his hair. He’s in such a good mood though, that it doesn’t even bother him at all. 

Ned stays the night again, like he almost always does on the weekends, and they spend almost the entirety of it talking about MJ, and everything that had happened. Peter even told Ned about their “flirting” (what he hopes was flirting, at least), and Ned went  _ on  _ and  _ on  _ and  _ on  _ about how she  _ so obviously  _ (not obvious at all) has the hots for Peter, too.

_ “Seriously, dude, it’s like you’ve never seen a rom-com in your life,”  _ Ned told him, swinging his arms in the air dramatically,  _ “All lasting couples are mean to each other at first. Like, that playful teasing and stuff. Banter, I think is the word. I’m just saying - look it up if you don’t believe me. Something like “Is banter flirting?””  _

Peter shrugged him off and rolled his eyes, but later that night when Ned was asleep, he  _ did  _ look it up. His face burned even though he was practically alone - his head under the covers as he searched “ _ is banter flirting?” _

And, like Ned told him it would be, multiple articles stated that banter and flirting are practically synonymous. He swallows thickly after he reads four, five, six articles telling the same thing. Not all cases mean that, most of the articles explained too, but they talked about how if someone teases you a lot, they most likely like you. 

He still isn’t convinced, though. 

So he lays on his back for hours, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom. After being Spider-Man and being able to do things no kid his age can do, it really is nice to have something as normal and grounding as a crush. But this feels deeper, and more painful, and more heartbreaking than any other crush he’s had. It’s getting worse, too, and he knows that he can’t ask her out or tell her he likes her, because she would probably hate him and never talk to him again and sit as far away from them in the cafeteria as he possibly could, and he would hate himself. 

Plus, he’s way too scared, anyway. 

So he lays on the hard floor of his bedroom, his foot knocking against the side of his desk every time he moves, and does what he always does - imagines what  _ could _ be.

* * *

 

“Do I look okay?” Peter asks as they walk into school on Monday morning, fixing his hair. 

“You look great,” Ned tells him, but he’s not paying attention at all. He’s walking on his tiptoes, looking for someone - Peter doesn’t have to strain his thoughts to know it’s Betty. 

So Peter laughs and sighs as Ned parts ways with him, going to meet a smiling Betty at her locker. 

Peter goes to his locker then, grabbing his books and discreetly looking in his mirror to fix his loose flyaways, and adjust his sweater. 

“Boo!” He hears, which actually makes him jump. MJ was behind the door of his locker, waiting. He hopes she wasn’t waiting too long and seeing him primp like a boy who has a crush. 

“Jesus, you scared me,” He laughs, swallowing thickly. She’s never done this before - he usually never even sees her until lunch. The thought that she came all the way over here through the swarm of students (which she always makes very clear she despises walking through) just to see him makes him feel all warm and jittery. 

“Exactly my goal,” She tells him flatly, like always. “Where’s your better half? I genuinely thought you guys were attached at the hip until this very moment.”

“He’s over there flirting with Betty,” Peter turns and smiles, watching them laughing and buzzing with happiness. 

“God, if I weren’t so cynical I’d actually say that whole “puppy love” thing was cute,” she sighs, watching them too. “But I am, so I won’t.”

“I’ve never seen Ned so happy,” Peter grins, just at the thought. “I hope he asks her out.”

“She might just do it if he doesn’t,” she shrugs, leaning her head against Peter’s neighboring locker. “Which would probably be the best option. I feel like you two never learned how to talk to girls, which is pretty unfortunate.”

He opens to mouth to protest, but upon realizing that she’s sort of kind of right, he sighs, slumping his shoulders, and replies with a simple “yeah.”

Then, turning towards her again, he realizes she’s wearing his hoodie again. He doesn’t point it out, but it still makes him unexplainably happy to see.

“What about, um, your crush?” He gulps, his fingers nervously twiddling around the straps of his backpack. He didn’t even  _ plan  _ to say this in any way, and even as he says it he starts feeling sick.  _ Where did the hell did that come from?  _ “Are you gonna, you know, ask them out or anything?”

“Not that it’s your business or anything, but no, I’m not,” She tells him, as careless as ever. “But that’s because I don’t know who it is. Besides, it’s not exactly a crush anyway. Like at all. It’s just a fondness or something. God, I hate that word.”

“What? How could you not know who it is?” He laughs, the whole thing feeling absurd. 

“It’s Spider-Man, genius,” she thumps his forehead, shaking her own. “Besides, it’s just like, from afar. I know nothing about the guy - only that he saves people. So it’s just a form of infatuation. God, I hate that word too. Anyway, it’s not a crush-crush or anything.”

“Spider-Man?” He asks, fully aware that he looks stupid as hell right now. He went through this same thing with Liz, too, but this feels so different somehow. He’s speechless.

“Do I need to spell it out for you?” she looks at him, laughing a little. “Oh, I brought you a book. It’s good.” 

She digs through her bag, and he takes that moment to compose himself. His heart is racing, his hands feel clammy, and he knows he has a ridiculous look on his face that he forces himself to wipe off. 

“Here,” she hands it to him, then shuts her bag. He looks down, reading the cover.  _ Americanah _ by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. “It’s pretty life-changing, really.”

“Thanks,” He looks at it again, maybe only to give himself a little more time to try and be normal again. “I’m excited to read it.”

The bell rings then, and he actually feels alarmingly relieved. He knows if he talked to her any longer, she would definitely know something was up - if she hadn’t already, that is. 

“Bye, loser, see you at lunch,” she sighs boredly, gently punching his arm like always. Then she disappears into the crowd, and he’s still standing there, shocked.

* * *

 

“God, you’re so lucky,” Ned shakes his head, whispering. They’re in class now, neither paying attention. “Both of your crushes have liked you. Well, sort of.”

“This isn’t good at all, Ned,” Peter puts his face in his hands, groaning under his breath. “She likes a made up version of me. I mean it’s me, yeah, but...when I put the suit on, I feel different. More confident, sure of myself. I don’t even feel like Peter anymore.  _ That’s  _ the guy she likes. Or thinks she likes, whatever. It’s not me, not really. And the more she likes him, the less she likes me, Peter. And if she ever finds out, I just…I just know she’ll hate me.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Ned sighs, glancing up to make sure the teacher isn’t looking. “No one can hate you for long, anyway. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

Peter laughs a little, then looks back down at his paper. 

Yeah, this sucks, but at least her crush is  _ technically  _ him and not some other person at this school. Now  _ that  _ would suck really, really bad.

* * *

 

Lunch goes pretty smoothly, although Peter’s heart starts racing like crazy whenever he sees Flash coming towards the table. Does he just make it a personal goal to embarrass Peter as much as he possibly can?

“Heard you guys had a sleepover this weekend,” Flash sits down next to Peter, throwing his arm casually over the back of his chair. 

“So?” Ned looks at him, making an annoyed face. 

“So, I was just wondering if crush-boy here finally made a move on you, MJ,” Flash laughs, as if he’s part of the group, as if they actually  _ want  _ him here. “Since he’s so head over heels, and all.”

“Actually,  _ I’m  _ the one who made a move, Eugene,” MJ replies with a subtle jab at him, mock lovestruck written all over her face. Then she reaches over the table, grabbing Peter’s hand in hers. “And it’s not a crush, it’s love, if you have to know.”

Ned’s milk spews from his nose in laughter, and Flash looks between them all then, as if they’ve all conspired against him. Peter feels frozen, but thankful for MJ all the same. She somehow managed to turn something embarrassing for her and Peter to embarrassing for Flash himself. He obviously wasn’t expecting it, so he has a mild shocked look on his face. 

It quickly turns to a smug look, though, as he stares at Peter. “You finally told her about your crush on her then, Parker? Wow, pretty ballsy of you, I’ll say.”

“Sexist, but okay,” MJ mutters in annoyance under her breath, and Peter feels sick. He knows he has to come up with something fast, because Flash is onto him. MJ is covering for him now, even though she doesn’t exactly know what’s going on, but as long as Peter has this deer-caught-in-headlights look on his face, Flash is going to realize that Peter still doesn’t want him to mention what he heard in the hall that day. 

“Didn’t you hear her? It’s love, Flash,” Peter pulls himself together, and squeezes MJ’s hand. She squeezes back. 

Flash stares at them for a second, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. Then he sighs in annoyance, and gets up from the table, leaving the cafeteria. 

Their hands pull apart then, and MJ laughs. 

“He’s such an idiot,” She shakes her head, biting into a fork-full of salad. 

“He just overheard Ned talking about his crush on Betty, and he assumed it was me or something,” Peter quickly stutters out, trying to laugh it off nonchalantly. “And now he won’t leave me alone about it, you know.”

“He’s so ridiculous,” Ned laughs, but it’s a really obviously fake laugh, though. Peter kicks him under the table. 

The bell rings then, and they all walk to class. Peter actually feels sort of relieved that’s over, though. If Flash knows MJ knows and doesn’t care (which she doesn’t know, but Flash doesn’t have to learn that), then he will probably just leave Peter alone about it. All he wants to do is embarrass him anyway, so if he can’t do that, then he has no power.

* * *

 

Peter used to love getting home from school - now he hates it. He hates not being able to see MJ and he hates being alone, so he stays out as Spider-Man as long as he can. He actually helps with a small robbery at an antique store (it was only a five dollar lamp stolen, but still), he helps  _ another  _ old lady cross the street (that seems like a very in-demand job currently), and then he goes and spies on MJ. He still feels guilty for it, but it’s so hard to stop himself. 

He hides fully this time, not letting her see him even the least bit. He does notice her looking around on the tops of buildings as she leaves to go home, but he ducks and hides before she notices. She doesn’t see him, and a little part of him is disappointed. Even though it wouldn’t exactly be Peter she was talking to, he still wishes he could get a taste of what having MJ like you feels like. And seeing her while being Spider-Man would give him just that. 

But it’s wrong and he knows that, and there’s no way he would go  _ that  _ far as to risk his identity being exposed. Even though he wants to really, really badly.

* * *

 

The next day comes around finally, after what seems like the longest night of his life. 

“Will you just ask her out already?” MJ nudges Ned, noticing him staring at Betty from across the hall. She’s talking and laughing with her friends, and Ned’s smiling like an idiot. His smile probably exactly matches Peter’s while he looks at MJ, he realizes. “It’s getting ridiculous at this point.”

MJ had been already standing at their lockers today reading as they walked in. It made Peter really happy, and he hopes she makes a routine of it.

“I know, I’m just...nervous,” he sighs, and Peter pats him on the back encouragingly. “But I’ll do it. Soon. I just have to make sure she likes me back first, you know?”

“It’s all so exhausting,” MJ sighs, clutching her book against her chest. 

“Tell me about it,” Ned groans, turning and repeatedly hitting his forehead against the locker. 

“Are we studying tonight?” MJ asks, crossing her arms and looking at Peter, Ned’s head-banging now in a rhythm. 

“Yeah, if you want to,” Peter nods, smiling a little. “Coffee shop?”

“Mhmm,” She nods, grabbing Ned’s arm to stop him from doing some real brain damage. “That’s fine.”

Something seems up, but Peter can’t really put his finger on it. So he ignores it. 

Flash actually leaves them alone today at lunch, which is nice, but something about MJ feels weird still, distant, which keeps throwing him off. 

Peter even talked about the new Lego Millennium Falcon set with Ned, and MJ didn’t even make  _ one  _ snide remark about it. That bad. 

So even when he gets home and takes a shower and gets dressed, getting ready for their study date, he tries to think about what could possibly be wrong. He wishes he knew, and he’s even worried about her when he thinks about it for too long. 

He walks in the cold, fall air to the coffee shop, his palms sweating anxiously despite the weather. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Peter asks, finally seeing MJ. He had gotten them both coffees, holding them in his hand as he sat in a chair outside. He felt like this was urgent, like it was something he should stay outside and wait for her for. “I thought about it all day, and I know I should have asked earlier, but I didn’t and I’m sorry.”

“Is this for me?” She asks, laughing a little as she grabs the coffee from his left hand. There’s a short silence between them, and Peter still sees it on her face: something’s up. “I’m okay. Nothing’s wrong. I just...do you mind if we walk for a little while? I have something to show you.”

“Oh yeah. Yeah, that’s fine. Let’s go.” He smiles, holding both of his hands against his warm cup. He isn’t really sure what to think now, and a nervous pit is growing in his stomach. 

They walk in silence side-by-side, and he takes in long, throat-burning breaths of cold air, until he starts to notice where they are. 

“You want to know why I miss school so much?” She asks, stopping at the end of the alleyway he’s seen many times the past few weeks. She looks down the alleyway, then sighs as she looks back at him. “Well, this is it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MJ is finally opening up! Thanks for sticking around, by the way, I know I haven't been a very faithful updater, but I promise I'm trying.


	25. Introductions

“What?” Peter stops, looking at her. “I mean, um…”

“Just come on,” she sighs, grabbing his arm and pulling him through, her bag in her other hand.

He's actually shocked. Not that he doesn't know where they are and what they're doing - he does. But still, he's shocked that she actually _told_ him. He thought for sure that after the scene at the party (where she used her only save in truth or dare), she would probably never tell him what her secret was.

And, in truth, he feels sort of awful right now about it all. He wants to tell her “I already know, you don't have to explain it” but he can't. Because then she would know he was Spider-Man, and she would figure out he was lying, and she would hate him. He feels trapped.

They walk down the alleyway, and it smells old and wet and musty, and she grabs his hand, leading the way. In any other situation, he probably would act awkward about it. But right now he's so happy she told him, yet guilty for lying, that he can't even think about the fact that her long fingers are laced with his.

“Not much farther,” she tells him, as they keep making their way through the seemingly never ending alley. It looks so much smaller from above. “Here we are.”

She turns to him then, right in front of the door he always watches her go in at. “So this is it. There are homeless families living in there. I come visit them and bring them stuff they need. Like food and clothes and stuff. This is...this is where I go after school every day, and why I skip school sometimes. The secret’s out. Happy?”

“Yeah,” He smiles, looking at her like he’s so in love he could burst. “I think it’s...it’s so great.”

“I have people you should meet,” She gulps like she’s nervous (she can get nervous?) and opens the door, leading him inside.

It’s dark at first, but it doesn’t take him long to adjust - especially with the fire going. He sees everyone huddled around the fire for warmth, rubbing their hands together as they look up and see MJ - a familiar face - and Peter - a not so familiar face.

“This is Peter,” MJ tells them, and there’s complete silence in the entire room - the only sound being the crackling fire. It feels awkward.

And then they all rush over to shake his hand and hug him at once, and he’s smiling so big and so happily, and MJ’s laughing and smiling, too.

“We’ve heard so much about you!” One woman laughs happily, a toddler hanging on her hip.

“You have, huh?” Peter turns to MJ, smiling smugly. Peter can’t tell if it’s the lighting or if it’s all these people watching them, but he’s pretty sure MJ blushes when he points that out.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” She knocks his shoulder, rolling her eyes. “You’re basically my only friend. Acquaintance, more like.”

“Mhmm, sure,” He laughs, shaking his head. He forces himself to remember this later, remember the blush, so he can tease her about it.

Everyone seems to disperse then, the warm fire beckoning them back.

“There you are! I was wondering where you were hiding,” MJ laughs, leaning down and setting her bag down on the floor. Peter looks where she’s looking, and then he recognizes the little girl standing there as the one he saw sitting with MJ when he spied on her through the window (yeah, it sounds really creepy and weird now.) She has to be about four at the most, sucking her thumb and staring up at MJ like she’s the most amazing thing she’s ever seen. She may just be.

MJ picks her up and holds her on her hip, smiling at her. “Peter, this is Tiana - we call her Ti - and Ti this is Peter.”

“Nice to meet you, Ti,” He smiles widely, reaching out to shake her hand. She looks at him for a moment, her stare blank, and then she looks up at MJ as if to silently ask “is this okay?” MJ nods and smiles, and the little girl reaches over (with the hand that’s _not_ in her mouth) and she shakes his hand. “Oooh, what a good grip.”

She smiles a little, shyly, and buries her face in MJ’s jacket. MJ hugs up to her, laughing. “She’s a little shy.”

The little girl taps her shoulder then, and MJ leans in, letting her whisper in her ear. MJ listens, laughs, then whispers in _her_ ear. He's never seen MJ look so...nice. Or maternal.

“Ti thinks you’re cute,” MJ tells Peter, smiling a little and rolling her eyes. She buries her face against MJ again, and Peter’s eyebrows furrow because he’s overwhelmed by the adorableness. “I don’t understand what she see’s in you, but hey, different opinions are good and all that.”

“Thank you, Ti, that’s sweet,” Peter tells her, ignoring MJ’s comment.

“I have some stuff for you guys,” MJ picks her bag up from the ground, and Peter follows her. They go and sit in some lawn chairs - all of them squished together to get a part of the fire - as MJ goes through her bag. “Lots of sweatshirts for warmth, some blankets, and some cans of soup. I know it’s getting cold and I thought that would be nice to have.”

She’s fully engulfed in this now, explaining everything in detail, so loving, so thoughtful. Peter’s so fixated on her, on falling even more in love with her, that at first he doesn’t even notice the small tap on his leg.

“Oh, hi,” he notices Ti standing there, tapping his leg. She doesn’t talk, of course, but she’s looking up at him with a small smile. “Do you wanna sit up here with me since MJ’s busy?”

She nods, holding her arms out. He laughs and picks her up, sitting her down on his lap.

“You like MJ a lot, don’t you?” He asks her quietly, as to not interrupt the others’ discussion. The girl nods, sucking her thumb. Then Peter leans in, whispering even lower. “She’s really pretty, isn’t she?” She nods again, smiling now. “I think so too.”

A few minutes go by, and he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns, and Ti leans in, whispering to him the first words he’s heard from her yet: “Do you like Michelle?”

It was in a small, tiny voice, almost inaudible it was so quiet. He actually debated lying for half a second, but then the immorality of lying to a four year old set in, so he decided against it. Besides, if she ends up telling MJ he said that, he can tell her he _obviously_ just meant as a friend, anyway. So he replies to her, and says “how could I not?”

She laughs at that, and he smiles, and she taps his shoulder again, signalling for him to lean down so she can tell him something else. “She told me she thinks you’re cute like I do.”

“She said that?” Peter asks, looking over at MJ who’s handing out blankets from her bag. She’s paying no attention to them, and he’s looking at her, and he thinks back to when she had whispered back to Ti when Ti had called him cute, and he gulps, wondering if that maybe really was what she was replying to her.

Ti nods, and then lays her head on his chest, sucking her thumb. He looks down at her and smiles, and then turns his focus towards MJ again.

MJ’s in the middle of talking about food supplies, when she turns and looks at Peter, suddenly distracted. Her eyes dart from Ti up to him, and they lock eyes for a moment, before she shakes her head and turns, scratching her neck and asking “um, what was I saying again?”

* * *

 “That was amazing,” Peter tells her, feeling like a whole new person. The cool air is biting at his nose, probably making it turn red. “Thank you for showing me. How long have you been doing this?”

They had stayed in there and talked for a while, MJ introducing him to each and every person in there. It was amazing and Peter instantly felt right at home.

“Year and a half,” She shrugs, both of them walking down the alleyway together. “It’s really great, and it just...makes me feel good. They’re great people.”

“So are you,” He knocks his shoulder against hers, and she shoves her hands in her pockets, not seeming to take him seriously. He keeps glancing over at her as they reach the street: the way she tucks her hair back, the way she stares at the ground, the way she holds her sleeve up to her mouth to warm herself.

“Can we just...keep this whole thing between us?” She asks, looking a little worried, like she's been wanting to say it the entire time. “It's just a personal thing, I don't know.”

There's the guilt again. She trusts him this much, but he can't trust her? He feels awful.

“Yeah, of course, your secrets safe with me,” he nods, focusing deeply on each step. Guilt. So Peter grabs her arm gently, and they both stop. “I...have to say something,”

He has to tell her about Spider-Man.

He should, shouldn’t he? After all, she _did_ tell him her big secret, and it obviously wasn’t easy for her at all. And now he feels closer to her than ever, and it feels right somehow, maybe.

“If you’re about to confess your undying love for me, get to the back of the line, pal,” she jokes, pointing her thumb behind her shoulder at the imaginary group of people waiting to try and win her over.

“Shut up,” He laughs, gulping. He shoves his hands in his pockets, mirroring her actions. “I, um…”

“Yeah?” She asks, seeming to notice he’s really serious about this.

“I…” He begins, but then he swallows thickly, the cold drying his throat. “I heard you called me cute. Ti sort of ratted you out.”

Every time he almost tells her, he always, always gets too scared right before.

“Jesus, Parker, I thought you were about to tell me you accidentally committed murder or something,” MJ rolls her eyes, and even _she_ seems to relax a little with relief. “Well anyway, I only agreed because she _wanted_ me to agree. Chill out.”

“Sure,” he shakes his head, and they start walking again.

God, he wants to tell her so badly. He feels a barrier between them, something that will never allow them to be as close as he wants them to be as long as that secret is still a secret. It's something unspoken, something lingering in the air between them always. And if he feels it, he knows that she _definitely_ can.

“Well before we left she told me that _you_ said you thought I was pretty,” MJ mutters, shrugging proudly. Except she doesn't look over at him, he notices. “Just to make it even, you know.”

“Well...what about that blush you got when they told me you had talked “all about Peter,” huh?” He elbows her, smiling. “Kind of embarrassing, you know. For you.”

“God, Parker, you _wish_ you could make me blush,” she laughs, looking down at the ground as she walks. He sees the purple in her hair tied together with the rest of her curls, and she's still smiling a little, and his stomach does crazy, nervous flips that make his heart race.

There's a few minutes of silence as they walk, and he's trying to think of what to say. But there's nothing even _remotely_ intelligent coming to mind.

“I do, though, you know,” he stutters out dumbly, his hands fumbling aimlessly in his pockets.

“You do what?” She laughs a little, most likely making fun of his ridiculousness.

“I do think you're...pretty,” he shrugs, trying to act like it's not a big deal.

It is.

“But only pretty in, like, a stupid, annoying way,” he laughs out nervously, her silence killing him. “Obviously.”

“Shut up, Peter,” she laughs, and he suddenly realizes that she never calls him just “Peter.” He likes it more, for some reason.

She actually looks away now, across the street, but he's pretty sure it's only so she can hide her smile from him.

And Peter is one hundred percent sure now, if he wasn't before: he made MJ blush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad you guys are liking it!!! Thanks again for all of the wonderful support, it means so much :)


	26. Absence

“I’m confused,” Ned narrows his eyes, trying to process what Peter’s telling him. “So you finally sort of made a move on MJ, and _that’s_ why she’s ignoring us? Well, you’re version of “making a move” I guess.”

“I freaking _told_ you she didn’t like me,” Peter breathes out, feeling all weird and panicky. “I feel so awful.”

After Peter had, you know, told MJ he thought she was pretty last night, it was cute for a second. And in that second he felt good, relieved, and like they were finally making progress. And he did assume that yeah, it would probably be a little awkward at first, but he never anticipated the _continuous_ and never-ending awkwardness that followed.

She had blushed and they both sort of laughed it off, but they didn’t speak at all on the way back. And then even when they parted ways, all they said to each other were low, tension-filled bye’s. And he couldn’t tell if he was imagining it, but something felt completely off.

After going home and spending the whole night overthinking everything, he finally came up with the answer: he was probably just looking way into it, and he made it all up in his head. Right?

That’s what he told himself, at least, until he got to school the next day. Every excuse he had built up in his mind was instantly torn down. He somehow knew things were weird immediately when he got to his locker. She wasn’t there, and although she’s only been meeting them there in the morning for a few days, he still feels weird about it. He tries to ignore that nagging feeling, though, and pass it off as just him being paranoid again. He took a breath, sure everything would be fine at lunch.

It wasn’t.

Peter was trying to wait for her to arrive at the lunch table in a cool and calming manner, but he found himself tapping his foot and darting his eyes at the entrance of the cafeteria. He feels like he did before he really knew her; a stuttering, anxiety-ridden mess.

Finally she had walked in, book in front of her face as she made her way to their table. He felt a little at ease then, some routine making things feel more normal than ever.

But she doesn’t sit beside them. She sits on the other side of the table, like she had before they were friends. Peter feels an awful, nagging pit in his stomach. This definitely isn’t normal.

Ned looks at him weird, knowing for sure there’s something he hasn’t told him yet. And he would be right in that assumption, because Peter never even _mentioned_ that something other than studying happened last night.

Peter ignored the look Ned was giving him, and turned to MJ, asking how she was doing. She gave a low mumble, not even looking up from her book.

Right after the bell rang and lunch ended, Ned pulled him aside. Peter already knew what it was going to be about, so he started off by telling him exactly what happened last night. And that leads up to the present.

“Maybe she’s just...I don’t know, scared to admit she likes you,” Ned shrugs, putting his hand on his shoulder to try and make him feel better. “I mean, we both know she’s not the romantic type. And as far as I know, she’s never dated anyone. She’s probably just a little freaked, you know? Just give it some time.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Peter breathes out, at least a little relieved that he’s not the only one who knows. “I just hope I didn’t ruin anything. It all just feels weird now. It’s exactly what I was scared of.”

“It’ll be fine,” Ned pats his back as they both walk to class (even though they’re late). “Seriously, just let her think it all over. I’m sure it’ll all be cleared up in a few days.”

“God, I hope so.”

It wasn’t.

The week finally rolled around to Friday, and she has said next to nothing to Peter or Ned leading up to now. She even cancelled their study session Thursday night, and he’s sure it’s related somehow. He feels so, so horrible, and he’s not sure how to fix it. He can’t sleep, he barely has an appetite, and he’s so upset about everything going on. He misses her like crazy; seeing her laugh, talking to her, even her rude and unnecessary comments. He misses her, everything about her.

So after talking to Ned about it, both deciding he should probably talk to her about it now, Ned suggested just apologizing and tell her he just wasn’t thinking, he was just being stupid. Peter agrees, and mentally prepares what he’s going to say as he waits outside of the school for her. She has to stay in their decathlon classroom (a place where she continues to ignore him in) a few more minutes longer than everyone else every day. He knows which way she leaves, so it’s just a matter of time until…

“Oh, MJ, hey, I was looking for you,” Peter stands up and gulps, seeing her walking his way. She has a book, of course, but she lowers it a little, her eyes glancing up to meet his.

“What’s up, Parker?” She asks in a bored tone, and he’s sure she already knows why he’s doing this. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

“Do you want to maybe sit down?” He asks, gesturing slightly towards the bench he had been sitting on.

“I’m fine,” She replies curtly, and he gulps. Not that she hasn’t always been like this, but this time feels...different. More cold.

“I just wanted to ask if…” he starts, unable to keep himself from looking at the ground. “If we were okay. Because since Tuesday it’s just been weird, you know? And I know I called you pretty and it was probably not cool, but...you are. Ned thinks so too, so it’s not like it’s just me, you know? I just...hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry. About all of it.”

“It’s fine,” She replies, rocking back and forth on her feet uncomfortably. “It wasn’t weird.”

“Then why are you ignoring me?” He furrows his eyebrows, confused, willing to do anything he can to mend this. “I...we miss you.”

“I have to go, okay? I have to get to the shelter,” She pushes past him, but he follows for a moment, still having slight hope.

“Can I come with you? I’ll buy you coffee after,” He laughs a little, but she keeps walking, and his heart feels heavy in his chest.

“Just...not today, okay? I need to go,” She tells him, walking faster and leaving him standing there watching her go.

Great, now he feels even worse than before.

He spends the entire weekend moping around sadly. Aunt May asked what was wrong, probably knowing it had something to do with MJ, but he gently turned down her offers to talk about it. And that’s saying a lot, because he’s usually dying to talk to May about any situation like this.

So in a bored and sad mood, over the weekend he finishes the book MJ gave him. He loved it like he always loves her books, of course, but even when he saw her Monday, he didn’t give it back. He wants to hold onto it at least a little longer, because he has a feeling that when he returns this one, she won’t have already picked out another for him to read. And for now, at least, he wants something that ties them together in some sort of way, even if it’s something small.

“MJ how has your day been so far?” Ned makes an attempt at sparking conversation at the lunch table on Monday, but they both instantly pin it as unsuccessful given the look on her face.

“Less than mediocre,” She answers, her eyes still scanning her book intently.

“I like your shirt,” Peter smiles warmly, shyly, like she’s some sort of stranger he’s complimenting. It’s a gray, long-sleeved shirt that says “WOMAN UP” in bold letters. “Aunt May would love that.”

She seems to hesitate on the last part, feeling guilty only for May’s sake, not theirs.

“Yeah, she would,” She nods, biting her lip anxiously as she continues to read.

And that’s the extent of what she says to them that day. Tuesday is even worse, because she doesn’t even show up to the lunch table at all. Peter is so guilt-ridden and upset about how short-lived their friendship was, that he goes home and cries into May’s arms, sick to his stomach. May comforts him then, not asking too many questions while he’s so distressed.

Wednesday comes, and he has dark circles around his puffy, red eyes, and he knows he look horrible but he feels even _worse._ Especially when she doesn’t show up for lunch the second day in a row.

“I’m sorry, dude,” Ned tells him, sighing. “I thought that if it was only the you calling her pretty thing, that it would definitely be fine by now. It has to be something else.”

“I feel like I’ve thought of every possibility, you know? I just feel hopeless. I don’t know what to do.” Peter puts his face in his hands, feeling like giving up. “I’ve tried talking to her it’s just...she won’t.”

“Not that I’m particularly _for_ this method, but...maybe you should spy on her,” Ned shrugs his shoulders, offering his advice. “You know, as…” he leans in, looking left and right, whispering “Spider-Man.”

“I got what you meant, I just don’t understand how that could help anything,” Peter sighs, rubbing his temples to soothe his sleep deprivation-induced headache.

“Dude,” Ned replies, like he always does when he’s about to explain something to Peter, “She won’t talk to Peter. But she _will_ talk to Spider-Man. Hopefully, at least. If she acts weird to Spider-Man, then it probably means it’s some trouble at home or something, and nothing personal to us. But if she’s normal to Spider-Man, then that means...well, you probably know.”

“I guess,” Peter nods, taking a moment to think about it. “Yeah, I...I think I will. Just to check on her. God, I’m worried about her, Ned. Not even just for my sake, you know, I mean I miss her, but it’s more than that.”

“Just go after school and make sure she’s okay,” Ned tells him supportively. “If she’s not...then maybe you need to talk to her as Peter. A real talk.”

“You’re right,” Peter nods, feeling the most hope now than he has in the past week.

So after school he puts his suit on, waiting behind in the alley a moment, talking himself into it, before making his way to the place where he knows she’s going to be.

He hypes himself up the entire way, focusing on one thing and one thing only: trying to find out if she’s okay or not. He has to make sure he doesn’t let his own personal feelings come through, because this is Spider-Man, not Peter. He has to shut Peter off, and let Spider-Man take over. The strong, confident Spider-Man that MJ has a crush on.

When he gets there, she’s not in sight. He assumes she’s in the building, so he waits. Waits five minutes, ten, twenty, half an hour. It’s probably almost at the hour mark when he finally hears the door open, and he looks down. There she is, smiling and waving at the people still inside, as the door shuts and forms a barrier between them. He sees her hesitate a moment there, outside of the door, before she starts walking, bags in hand.

He runs across the top of the buildings quickly, trying to get a head start. Once he gets out of sight of her, he swings down, accidentally knocking into a dumpster, before he brushes his suit off and waits for her, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed. Trying to look cool, of course.

“Thought maybe you had forgotten about me,” MJ speaks as she sees him, stopping in her tracks to cross her own arms. “Now I realize it’s completely impossible to forget someone like me, so scratch that.”

“Exactly,” He lowers his voice a little, laughing lightly. His heart instantly warms at the sound of her voice, the sight of her smile. It’s only been a little over a week, but it feels like a lifetime. “Just wanted to check in - see if you needed help with anything.”

“I think I can handle it myself, but thanks, Spider-Dude,” She waves him off, but doesn’t make a move to leave. “Haven’t seen you in the news much lately. On our way into retirement, huh?”

“No, I’m not _that_ old,” He assures her, shaking his head. He smiles under the suit, feeling giddy and warm inside. “I’m just taking a break from the big stuff lately. I’ve been focusing more on helping out with smaller things, like robberies and things like that.”

“I like it,” She tilts her head a little, scanning her eyes over him. Then she steps forward. “It’s really just as important as the big stuff.”

“Mhmm,” he nods, but steps back every time she steps forward. “I agree.”

“You know,” She takes three steps now, and she’s right in front of him. He takes in a long, sharp breath, knowing that if he doesn’t _step_ back, he might just _fall_ back. “I was telling my friend something the other day. Something about you, actually.”

“Me? No way,” He laughs out, trying to keep his cool. But she’s not laughing. In fact, she has this sort of mean-but-hot look in her eyes, and he can see her jaw is clenched in concentration as she gently puts her hand on his arm. “Well what did you say?”

He has to get a hold of himself. _Has_ to, or else she’s going to recognize this stuttering mess as Peter Parker very soon. So he swallows thickly, getting his Spider-Man mindset on and locked, and stands up taller, more confidently.

“You really wanna know?” She asks, lowering her voice seductively. He feels like he’s going to faint at that, but he keeps reminding himself: _you’re Spider-Man, you’re Spider-Man, you’re Spider-Man._

“Yeah, I do,” he nods, feeling her thumb rubbing across his arm.

She uses her other hand and sticks her index finger out, then draws it back in, signalling for him to get closer.

He does. And if there was any of Peter Parker's sense left behind, it would tell him _don’t do it! This is MJ - she’s going to pull your mask off._

But that sense is gone and replaced by Spider-Man’s, which right now is taken over by his blind attraction to her, and that look in her eye, and the thought of them getting closer than they already are right now.

And now they _are_ closer because he obeyed her request, and she’s leaning into his ear, her arm laid distractedly on his shoulder. Then, in a quiet whisper that sends very distinct chills down his spine, she murmurs, “I told him that I have a crush on Spider-Man.”

“You did?” he asks quietly and she nods, stepping back only a little. He’s so intoxicated by her touch, her stare, the way she can turn on this seductive side of herself without even flinching.

“I wish you didn’t have this mask on right now,” she looks in his eyes, her hand sliding up across his mask and over his jaw, then to cup his cheek. “Because I would kiss you.”

“Yeah?” He asks, leaning more into her touch, letting it take over. She nods again, smiling warmly and tilting her head.

“Do I know you, Spider-Man?” She asks, which instantly sparks the rude awakening that brings Peter back to Earth again.

“You do now,” He tells her vaguely, swallowing thickly. If she asks that, it must mean she doesn’t know, right? He keeps his voice low, trying not to tip her off. He’s still trying to learn from past mistakes, like when Liz’s dad almost killed him because he recognized his voice. “I...have to go.”

“Where are you off to?” She asks curiously, and he steps back, letting her hand fall back down to her side.

“Just to...to search the city.  To see if anyone needs help, of course,” He nods at her, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sort of still on duty.”

“I see,” She nods, and he slowly back up even more, trying to make it discreet. “I have to get home anyway.”

“Be safe,” he tells her, still slightly trying to catch his breath.

“I’ll try,” She nods, and they look at each other for a moment, before he shoots his web up and jumps, climbing to the top of the building. “Bye, Spider-Man.”

“Bye, miss,” he replies, now standing on the edge and looking down at her. She walks away then, down the alleyway, almost to the busy street now.

“Oh, one more thing,” She stops and turns, and he nods, waiting. There’s a silent beat there, like she’s debating on whether she should speak or not. And then she does. “Don’t forget to bring me my book back tomorrow, okay, Parker?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....MJ knows he's Spider-Man????? How long do you think she's known? (Damn, I wish I could use the side-eye emoji right now)


	27. Secrets Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad you guys liked the last chapter!! This one is mostly just a filler chapter that explains a few things :)

“What?” Peter asks, feeling like his heart is stopping. It even took him a moment to notice what she said, because he's so used to her calling him that. Just not when he's Spider-Man.

He watches her keep walking away, not giving him any sort of attention. How could she know? How _long_ has she known?!

He swings back down, following her and trying to act nonchalant, even though he's freaking out.

“What are you...what are you talking about?” He asks, casually propping his hand up on the wall.

“Don't,” she shakes her head, turning around to look at him. “Just don't, okay?”

“I don't know what you mean,” he backs up at her harsh tone, shrugging. He can hardly breathe.

“Seriously, Peter? You're still trying to deny it?” She furrows her eyebrows, her emotions looking like a mix of anger and betrayal. Then she steps forward, and his first instinct is to step back, so he does. And then she steps forward again, and he stops trying to fight it. There's no reason to even deny it now, because she knows.

She's in front of him now, and his heart is thumping rapidly, and she reaches up and grabs the bottom of his mask. They both take in a breath then, considering that this might change everything, before she pulls the mask off.

She stares at him and he stares back, unable to even form words. He doesn't even know what he would say if he _could_ speak.

“You're an idiot,” she shakes her head, shoving his mask against his chest and turning to leave. Her voice is shaky.

He catches his mask and follows her, grabbing her arm.

“MJ-”

“No, you know what? This is ridiculous. All the times that you lied, and followed me here, and even now, when you were just pretending like you didn't know what I was talking about.” She pushes his chest, swallowing thickly. “Just stop, okay?”

“I wanted to tell you. I promise I wanted to tell you so, so bad, but…”

“But what, Peter? I gave you a million chances. A million and one, actually. I offered it up on a silver platter, and all you did was throw it back in my face. And all of that would be fine, really, because everyone has secrets, I get it. But if you hadn't followed me like this…followed me and found out _my_ secret, my secret that I've never told anyone else, by the way, then maybe it would be different. It's not fair. Not fair of you to use your power like this.” She breathes out, her chest rising and falling in anger.

“I know. Trust me, I know,” he tells her, pushing his fingers through his hair. “Before we really knew you, me and Ned...we were curious. You were so secretive and mysterious, and one day when I was with May...I saw you. I saw you with your bags, and you were walking into a pretty scary part of town, so I tried to follow you but I lost you. And so...so Ned suggested that I follow you the next day. As Spider-Man. I didn't understand how horrible that was of me. I didn't, and I'm sorry.”

“Jesus, of course it was Ned,” she sighs, looking down at the pavement. “Why did you keep coming back, then? If you had already figured out what it was I was doing?”

_Because I'm freaking in love with you, MJ._

“Because I...I thought everything you were doing was so amazing. I've never met someone who cares so much about people, and it felt so good to see that, to know there's people...that there's people like you still out there.” He tells her, absentmindedly clenching his fists at his sides. “I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, I shouldn't have done it.”

She just stares at him still hurt, still feeling betrayed.

“How...long have you known?” He asks quietly, twisting his mask nervously in his hands.

“I knew for sure after D.C.,” she explains, and his mouth drops open. “But I was pretty suspicious about it before that for a while, too.”

“How? How did you know?” He gulps, completely confused. This is insane.

“Are you kidding? You're ridiculous, Parker,” she shakes her head, sighing. “To name off a few, you constantly being suspicious and suddenly disappearing all of the time was a big thing. Then there was the “Stark internship” fiasco, which was a pretty awful cover up, really. Let's see...then at D.C. of course, when you disappeared and missed the academic decathlon. I knew it meant a lot to you, so I figured it must be something pretty big for you to miss it. Then there was the fact that Spider-Man was somehow just magically in D.C. the moment that a seemingly random group of students’ elevator broke down, when everyone knows Spider-Man lives in New York. It was stupidly obvious, and that completely confirmed my suspicions. Even if I hadn’t figured out then, though, I saw your suit in your backpack. Twice.”

“What?! When?” He asks, sure he had been careful. Well, maybe not as careful as he should have been, but still.

“When I showed up at your apartment that time, looking for my necklace? I saw the suit in your backpack, like, immediately. Then again the other day when you knocked your backpack over, and your sex-ed book fell out.” She tells him, shaking her head. “I’m surprised the whole world doesn’t know Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Especially with how bad that accent you put on is.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?” He asks, swallowing thickly. “I don’t get it.”

“Because I wanted you to tell me yourself. I wanted you to trust me enough, and I gave you the courtesy you never gave me: having a choice in it.” She retorts, crossing her arms. “God, you told Ned. Why not me? There were a thousand times when I thought you were going to, but…you didn’t.”

“I didn’t even tell Ned. I haven’t even told _anyone._ Ned walked in on me in the suit, and that’s how he knows.” He explains, trying to gather all of his thoughts. “And you’re right. I almost told you a million times, I just...god, I couldn’t. Especially after following you here, and knowing it was wrong. I didn’t want you to hate me. But I didn’t realize doing this would make you hate me even more.”

“I don’t...hate you,” she sighs, looking down at the pavement. “I mean, I hate you, but I don’t _hate_ you.”

“Thank God,” He breathes out a sigh of relief, smiling down at the pavement. “Well why were you ignoring me this week? It felt...awful.”

“Jesus, Parker, get a clue,” She breathes in a long, annoyed breath, rolling her eyes. “I’m not stupid, okay? I told you my big secret, and showed you something that meant a lot to me. I thought you were going to return the favor, but instead you just...called me pretty. I was pissed at you.”

“You were?” He scratches his head, feeling like a complete and utter idiot.

“The male mind really amazes me sometimes,” She groans, rubbing her temples. “Yeah, Parker, I was pissed. I guess...I guess I was more upset than mad. It was really, really hard for me to show you my secret, and you couldn’t even tell me yours. It sucked.”

“I’m so sorry,” He tells her sincerely, looking in her eyes. “And I’m not just saying that. I’m so, so, so sorry. I just want you to know that I would have told you. I really would have, I was just being a coward. I’m sorry.”

“If you say sorry one more time I’ll break your fingers,” She laughs a little, bouncing her palm on and off her leg anxiously.

“So are we okay?” He asks timidly, his smile fading a little as he makes sure she isn’t still completely pissed.

“I still think you’re a clueless jackass, but...yeah. I guess we are.” She replies, breathing out.

“Hug it out?” He opens his arms a little, smiling at the instant widening of her eyes.

“God, Parker, don’t even try it,” She pushes his chest a little, laughing.

They stand there awkwardly for a second, not knowing what to say. Even with the awkwardness, he still feels a lighter air between them now that their secrets are out. The barrier is gone.

“So, the mask’s off now. Still wanna kiss me?” He tilts his head, smiling teasingly at her.

“You realize that whole “me having a crush on Spider-Man” was a joke, right? To get you to freak out and yell out your secret on accident out of extreme uncomfortability. I thought I was close, too, until I realized you actually _wanted_ me to kiss you,” She shakes her head, sighing with a laugh. “Sort of embarrassing. For you.”

“Hey, you can’t use my own words against me,” he laughs too, thinking back to when he used that line on her the other day. He’s smiling so stupidly, so happily, that his cheeks hurt from it. “Besides, I was just...seeing how far _you_ would go. I wasn’t actually going to let you kiss me.”

“Sure,” She rolls her eyes, pushing his shoulder gently. Then she looks him up and down, examining him, his suit. “Love the spandex. How does all of this work, anyway? Do you even have a lair?”

Just when he thought he couldn’t possibly like her any more.

“Sadly, no,” He laughs, then explains to her what happened with Tony and how he offered him a room in the new facility upstate, and how he turned it down.

“You’re so stupid,” she gasps, pushing his shoulder with a laugh. “How could you pass that up?”

“You should have seen the hell Ned put me through for that,” Peter laughs, and she grabs his arm.

“So this is the web shooter, huh? Make this yourself?” She asks, holding his wrist and taking a brief break from examining it on his arm to look up at him.

“Yeah, I did,” He nods, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

“Cool,” She smiles at him, then looks back down, analyzing the shooters, his suit, his hands. “So how do you stick to walls? Is it your suit or do you actually have powers? And by powers I mean _real_ powers. Not stuff like Tony Stark, who’s just a rich genius who can build things.”

“Um, yeah, I do,” He nods, trying to compose himself as MJ runs her fingers over his hands, surveying them from every angle. “I sort of got bit by a radioactive spider. Then I went through some changes-”

“-I know what puberty is, go on.” she nods, smiling a little as he rolls his eyes.

“Okay, I can climb walls, I have super-strength, enhanced healing abilities, speed, and improved reflexes.” He tells her, slightly distracted by her intent stare.

“Show me,” She tells him, crossing her arms. “I want to see these powers in action.”

“Fine,” he nods, smiling a little as he reaches down, and scoops her up in his arms. He doesn’t even make a strained face, because it’s just that easy.

“Oooh, you’ve swept me off my feet, Parker,” She puts her hand to her mouth dramatically, but under that he can see a beautiful, genuine smile begging to be brought out. But she has way too much pride for that. “Show me more.”

“Okay, hold on,” He tells her, twisting her around so that she’s against his side. She wraps her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, and that’s when Peter puts his mask on, shoots his web at the side of the building, and then jumps.

She actually lets out a small shriek then, taken by surprise.

“Don’t let go, okay?” He laughs and looks at her, one of his hands pressed against her back, the other holding onto the web that’s supporting them.

“Oh, I won’t,” She nods, looking up in the sky as Peter uses both hands to climb the building. He feels her tighten her arms around him, and he can feel her heavy breath on his neck, hearing her laugh. And he realizes her full body is pressed against his, and he sees the air blowing in her face and hair as she smiles happily, and he suddenly wishes he didn’t have so many distractions right now while they’re about fifty feet up in the air.

He keeps climbing until they get to the top, and when he climbs over the edge, he finally sets her down and they walk to the center and stares into the sky. The sun is just beginning to set, and it’s so cold that Peter can hardly feel his hands anymore.

“It’s beautiful,” She smiles, half of her face lit up with orange as she stares at the setting sun. “I can’t believe you can do this any time you want.”

“Yeah, I love it,” He smiles, standing next to her and looking up at it, taking his mask off. She sighs then, rubbing at her cold arms for warmth.

“It’s gonna get dark and really cold soon,” he tells her, as she stares off into the clouds. “Maybe we should go.”

“Wait, Peter,” She grabs his hand, stopping him from leaving. Then she smiles a little and sits down on the building, pulling his arm. “Let’s watch the sun go down.”

He looks down at her, her smile, and he laughs himself, sitting down beside her. She takes her jacket off and spreads it across both of their shoulders, and she gets in closer, their shoulders bumping.

“Jesus, it really is cold,” She laughs, her teeth chattering. “Usually walking around is fine - the buildings block that god awful wind. But up here? It’s in full action, and I feel like my toes are going to break off.”

“My suit actually has a heater in it,” he tells her, and she shoves him, her mouth open.

“And you waited until _now_ to tell me that?” she shakes her head and he laughs, shivering a little himself as he puts his mask on, telling Karen to turn on his suit’s heater.

“Ahh,” he feels the heat instantly, and apparently so does she, because she wraps her arm around one of his, getting closer for warmth.

“You’re like a human toaster,” she breathes out, her chatter beginning to disappear. “And who is Karen, by the way?”

“Oh, it’s an AI bot that Mister Stark integrated into my suit,” He explains, taking his mask off. “I can talk to her and get her to do certain things - like change my web shooters, or, you know, turn on my suit’s heater.”

“I guess that’s pretty cool,” she nods, staring out at the sky.

They sit there for a few minutes in silence, watching the sun go down, watching the sky turn from blue to pink to orange then dark. And she’s up next to him, both of them taking in the beauty of all of it in a comfortable silence.

“I’m still mad at you, you know,” She tells him in a whisper, laying her head on his shoulder.

“Completely understandable,” he smiles, looking down at her as she watches the last few minutes of light fade away. He tilts his head then, laying it on top of hers.

Finally, no more barriers.


	28. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know I updated yesterday, but I've had a decent amount of free time the past few days, so here you go!

Once the sky had gone black, they decided it was much too cold to be out now - even given the suit’s heater - so MJ got on Peter’s back, and he ran across the top of buildings and swung his web, until he got to the alleyway that had his backpack webbed to the wall.

“Gonna give me a strip show?” MJ’s leaning against the wall with a smug smile, watching him pull his clothes out of his backpack.

“Actually no, so turn around,” He tells her, pressing the button on the front of his suit that loosens it off of his body. He holds onto it when it starts to fall, though, so she _won’t_ get a strip show. “Please.”

“How boring,” She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms as he turns around. “It’s not like I haven’t seen you almost completely naked before, you know.”

“Okay, well that was _not_ by choice,” He laughs, getting out of his suit, stuffing it back into his backpack, and then putting his clothes on. She turns around right when he pulls his shirt over his stomach.

“Oh, Peter, I don’t know if I can control myself around those abs,” She gushes in a fake voice, biting her lip dramatically.

“Will you shut up?” He laughs, shaking his head.

“How did you get those, anyway? Did you actually put effort into it or did all of these muscles you have just start bulging out when you got bit?” She asks curiously, watching him as he tries to tame his messy hair.

“Well, they didn’t just automatically form or anything if that’s what you mean,” He tells her, straightening his sweater out and pulling on a jacket over it. “I just slowly started, you know, getting them. Especially after I started going out as Spider-Man, swinging and fighting and all of that. I don’t know. It’s a pretty big workout when you think about it.”

“Hmm,” She nods vaguely, waiting for him to gather his things.

“What does that “hmm” mean exactly?” He asks, throwing his backpack over his shoulder and beginning to walk out of the alley. She walks alongside him, the lights above illuminating the somewhat creepy alleyway.

“Nothing. Just hmm, that’s it.” She shrugs, and he rolls his eyes, nudging her shoulder.

“Yeah, because I’m sure there’s absolutely _no_ thinly-veiled insult underneath that “hmm” was there?”

“What? How could you ever think I would do something like that?” She gasps, putting her hand to her chest.

“So annoying,” He laughs, finally emerging from the alley to see the bright lights, and loud, New York City traffic zooming past them in a blur. “You wanna grab some coffee? Or hot cocoa? I’m getting sort of hungry now too.”

“Yeah, sure,” She nods, both of them walking down the street side-by-side.

Their hands keep accidentally bumping lightly, which makes her side-eye him, which leads to him apologizing profusely.

“If you wanted to hold my hand you could have just asked,” She says, looking over at him. His heart skips a beat. “I mean, you’d have to die if you did actually ask, but still.”

“I don’t want to hold your stupid hand,” He laughs, knocking it away from his own. “Never.”

“Your denial makes it about one hundred times worse, you know,” she sighs, glancing over at him again, smiling.

“Fine, then yeah I _do_ want to hold your hand,” He replies, trying to keep himself together, composed.

“Are you really trying reverse psychology right now? Because that’s not really how it works,” She shakes her head, laughing. “Besides, there’s a middle ground.”

“What middle ground?” He asks, suddenly confused.

“You only have one extreme either way. Either “no, of course I don’t want to kiss you and hold your hand, etc.” and then to cover up your embarrassment, the other extreme is “of course I want to kiss you and hold your hand, duh.” You need a middle ground.” She explains plainly, using her hands for gestures.

“Which would be…?”

“Which would be you just shutting up for once,” She tells him, and he laughs, narrowing his eyes, trying to figure out her logic. “There’s really just something about the strong silent type that gets me going.”

“So basically you want me to be quiet and take every single insult you throw at me, without fighting back?”

“That’s _exactly_ what I mean.” she shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly, making them both laugh.

After arriving at the coffee shop and ordering hot cocoa and croissants, they stay and talk for over an hour. He explains to her _exactly_ how he became Spider-Man (she wouldn’t leave him alone about it), then he told her all about what he does _as_ Spider-Man. The ways he helps people, what his normal routine is, and he even gets into what had happened around the time of Homecoming. About the guns, the boat, Liz’s dad being behind it all.

_“No freaking way,” she had said, her mouth dropping open. “I mean I knew he went to jail, but...I guess I never knew why. Jesus, your crush’s dad. Talk about a boner killer, am I right?”_

After that she walks him home since it’s on her way, and they talk about her and how the shelter came together.

She told him that she had met a homeless family once on her way through the city, so she picked up some food and clothes and took it to them. Then after a few weeks of doing that, she couldn’t bear to see them with absolutely no shelter. So every day after school one week, she went around searching for an abandoned building that she could house them in. Finally, after searching for days, she found the one they’re in now. She had to break a huge lock off of the front door, but once she got inside, she knew immediately that it was exactly what she had been looking for.

So she went and told the family about it, using all of her money to buy them food and blankets. And then after that, every time she found someone else who needed a shelter, she would tell them about the place she found. So that’s what led up to the present, and how she has about thirty plus people living there now.

He’s in awe the entire time she’s telling him all of this.

“Here we are,” Peter looks up to see his apartment building, sad now that the magical night is over. He walks a moment, then turns around to say his goodbyes as he gets to the door. She followed him over, crossing her arms. “Be careful going home, okay?”

“I will. I know some martial arts,” She tells him, then looks down at the ground, remembering. “But I guess you already knew that.”

“Just don’t get into any trouble, please,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck to diffuse the sudden awkwardness.

“Why not?” She asks lowly, looking in his eyes. “Won’t Spider-Man come save the damsel in distress?”

“You’re anything but a damsel in distress,” he tells her, swallowing thickly for what feels like the millionth time tonight.

“True,” she shrugs proudly, and they both laugh. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Yeah, you will,” he nods, shifting back and forth on his feet. “Goodnight, MJ.”

“Night,” She replies, but makes no real effort to leave. They’re looking at each other, and he has butterflies in his stomach and he’s lightheaded, and his brain keeps telling him _kiss her. Kiss her right now, you idiot._

“I’ll call you if I get kidnapped,” She laughs, breaking the tension between them suddenly. Then she waves at him, shoves her hands in her pockets, and starts walking backwards to the road.

“Text me when you make it home safely!” He yells to her, and she only gives a slight wave of her hand in response.

God, he should have kissed her.

 

* * *

 

“Wow, we sort of are idiots now that I think about it,” Ned shakes his head, now on the floor of Peter’s bedroom right after Peter explained what had happened earlier that night. “I’d be pissed at you too if I told you a huge secret and you didn’t tell me yours. Especially if I knew you had been spying on me that whole time.”

“I know, I know,” Peter sighs, still keeping his voice low so that May doesn’t hear them. “But it’s done and over with, and I think she’s forgiven me. I hope so, at least. She was acting pretty normal when she left.”

After MJ’s departure, Peter went upstairs only to almost die of a heart attack from seeing Ned in his swivel chair, smiling up at him after Peter had snuck quietly through the house not to wake May. Apparently he had been waiting for hours, which he explained very loudly to Peter, who was forced to cover his hand over his mouth and explain that he hadn’t checked his phone.

“I mean, she can’t stay mad at you forever,” Ned shrugs, playing with a small stormtrooper action figure. “Well, it is MJ. Maybe she can.”

“I think I’m in the clear,” Peter laughs, falling back on his bed with a sigh and a huge smile. “You should have seen us tonight, Ned. It was like a date. We watched the sunset, then we talked over hot cocoa and food, then she walked me home. It was amazing.”

“That could be every day if you would just _ask her out,”_ Ned shakes his head, laughing.

“Uh, you’re one to talk! What about Betty?” Peter sits up and looks at him, crossing his arms.

“Okay that’s way different,” Ned explains, and Peter rolls his eyes, waiting for one of Ned’s bullshit excuses. “I’m just working up to asking her out - testing the waters to see if she likes me too. Like a normal person does. You’re just...God, I don’t even know what you’re doing. Like, you just keep acting like you _don’t_ have a crush on her and like you _didn’t_ want to kiss her. I know it’s the first reaction for like, kindergarteners, but dude, it’s getting ridiculous.”

“Ned, she’s joking when she “flirts” and stuff. It’s not like that with her, so I’m not going to completely freak her out and ruin our friendship just because I don’t outright show her I have a crush on her. It would be really weird, and things are just starting to get good between us,” Peter tells him, groaning and rubbing his left temple. “It’s stupid, I know, but I’d much rather be her friend than nothing at all.”

“Jesus, someone needs to write a dramatic romance novel about this,” Ned laughs, patting his back. “It would be a number one bestseller in no time. Nicholas Sparks would probably write it for you, and it would even get a movie adaptation within the next year.”

“Shut up, dude,” Peter laughs, falling back down on the bed. “I’ll do it eventually, maybe. Maybe not, but I’ll be fine as long as she’s at least around, you know?”

“Well-” Ned starts, but then Peter’s phone buzzes against his leg, and he grabs it so quickly that it almost falls out of his hands. Then he sees he has a text from MJ, so he smiles and his fingers tap against the screen desperately.

“So _now_ you check your phone, huh?” Ned sighs, crossing his arms.

“Shhhh!” Peter tells him, pushing his face with his hand as he tries to read the text.

_Made it home. Didn’t die, surprisingly._

He grins, rolling over onto his stomach and staring at his screen, reading it over and over. Then he types out his reply, going over it with Ned a thousand times before he presses send.

_Oh yeah? What a shame._

Then, a few minutes later from her: _Ha ha, very funny. Goodnight, loser._

He could almost _hear_ the sarcasm in her voice, so he laughs, typing back: _Night night._

“This is embarrassing to watch,” Ned shakes his head and laughs at Peter, who is smiling dumbly up at the top bunk, clutching his phone against his chest.

“I really don’t care.”

 

* * *

 

MJ is back at their lockers again the next morning, and a smile forms on Peter’s face _instantly_ as he approaches her.

“Miss me?” He smiles, turning the lockers dial to unlock it.

“Nah, just wanted to stuff a bunch of fake spiders in your locker before you got here,” she shrugs, her shoulder resting against the locker next to his.

“Good one,” he rolls his eyes, assuming it’s a joke. But then when he opens it, tons of tiny, plastic spiders fall out, and she’s smiling smugly.

“What the hell, MJ?” He picks them up off the ground, looking at her in confusion.

“Thought it would be funny,” she shrugs, watching him desperately try to stuff them all back in. “And I was right.”

“How?” He grabs his books, shoves the remaining spiders in there and shuts his locker, avoiding the problem for now. “Jesus, I thought you were just joking. That scared me.”

“You think I’ve met you at your locker for no reason? I’ve been memorizing your code, dummy,” She laughs, still extremely amused. “Although, you should be glad you told me your secret and I changed it to spiders. Glitter was my original plan.”

“What if people...get the hint?” He tells her, looking around to see if anyone’s looking at them suspiciously.

“Relax, Parker,” She tells him, picking up one of the spiders that are still on the floor, dropping it on his head. “If these people haven’t figured out your secret identity yet, they probably wouldn’t even figure it out if you walked into school _in_ your suit, and took your mask off. You’re that obvious, and they’re that oblivious.”

The bell rings then and he brushes the spider from his hair, and she laughs again before waving and walking away, going to class. He laughs too, shaking his head as he walks through the crowded halls.

 

* * *

 

“So tomorrow’s Friday,” Ned speaks up, clearing his throat as MJ approaches the table. They had been talking about her, so they quickly shut up and changed the subject. “What are we doing?”

“Whatever you guys’ wanna do is fine with me,” Peter shrugs, then realizes MJ’s coming over to his side to sit by him.

She never does that.

“Uh, what’s up?” Peter looks at her, narrowing his eyes a little.

“Don’t get any ideas,” She tells him, pulling out her notebook. “I just got some notes from geometry today - you can have them. I know you probably keep your own, but this is a really good method for me to retain the information. So, think of this as more of a preventative measure than an actual study session, I guess.”

“Well won’t you need these notes?” He asks her as she hands the papers over, then closes her notebook back.

“Semi-photographic brain, remember?” She taps the side of her head, then turns to Ned. “For the weekend I thought we could-”

“Hello, fellow students,” Flash walks up, obnoxiously slamming his backpack on the table as he sits down next to Ned. Then he looks between Peter and MJ, smiling. “Sharing dirty letters are we?”

“Yeah, Flash. Geometric degrees and formulas really turn us on,” MJ nods, then rolls her eyes, eating a bite of her food. “It’s very refreshing to find someone who shares the same kink for mathematics.”

“How did this happen, anyway?” Flash stares at them, narrowing his eyes and completely avoiding MJ’s comments. “First Liz and now MJ? How do you do it, Parker?”

“We’re n-” Peter starts, but MJ cuts in. Of course.

“Have you _seen_ him?” MJ puts on that fake voice again, putting her arm around Peter’s shoulders. “Look at the muscles on this guy.”

“This is all way too...rehearsed for my taste,” Flash looks at them, still suspicious. “Especially since every time MJ talks, Peter looks like he’s going to throw up from nerves. Doesn’t really seem like that’s the way a boyfriend reacts to his girlfriend calling him hot, does it?”

“He’s very humble,” MJ replies, laying her head on his shoulder. “That’s only one of the  _t_ _housands_ of reasons why I like him so much.”

“Jesus, and what the hell is up with _you,_ MJ? I thought you hated his guts. Actually, I thought you hated _everyone’s_ guts.” Flash comments, actually contemplating the fact that they really might be together. MJ is too good at this.

“Love changed me, what can I say?” She pinches Peter’s cheeks teasingly, never breaking her character once. 

Peter spots Ned in his peripheral vision, his mouth wide open in shock at what's going on. 

“I’m not convinced,” He crosses his arms, looking like an even bigger douche than he did before. If that’s even possible.

“Convinced?” She furrows her eyebrows, like she can’t believe he would accuse them of faking the thing that they’re _actually_ faking. “Well then maybe this will prove it to you.”

Now if any normal person were in this situation, all they would have to say is this: _“Fine, it was just a joke, okay? We’re not actually together. Now buzz off.”_ But with MJ being as stubborn as she is, she would rather _kiss_ him than look at Flash, and tell him they had just been messing with him the whole time.

And that’s exactly what she does, too.

“Kiss me, honey,” she smiles at Peter, placing her hand against his jaw to face her. Then she leans in and presses her lips directly on top of his, officially making this their second unexpected kiss to date.

 


	29. The Second First Base

Exactly like the first time they kissed, Peter hears Ned gasp in surprise from across the table. Right after that, Peter starts hearing a ringing in his ears, and he actually feels like he might pass out.

MJ is holding his face in both of her hands, her lips moving against his, her breath uneven as she kisses him longer and harder than she did the first time.

He would die before he complained about anything related to this kiss ever, but at least on the first kiss he had a _small_ bit of a warning. This was completely surprising, and he didn’t even have any time to prepare himself for it. For the soft, warm, gentle feel of her lips against his that instantly made him melt into a puddle of overwhelming feelings.

He feels his cheeks flush, and his palms are sweating as his fingers clutch at the loose fabric of her jacket that hangs off of her elbows.

“Hmm,” She sighs against his lips, their noses bumping, her thumb stroking his left cheek. His skin burns where hers touches it.

When she pulls away, he feels his hands shaking, his heart racing, and he sees that her pupils are dilated. That must mean his are probably covering his entire eyeball.  

He's trying to catch his breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly, probably embarrassingly fast. But he can't even think long enough to be embarrassed right now, because she's smiling at him, and his eyebrows furrow and he looks at her the way he remembers looking at Liz - except this is about a million times worse.

“Pull yourself together, Parker, we're on a mission,” She whispers, bumping his arm a little to break him out of his reverie as she turns to face Flash.

“Was that convincing enough for you?” She asks Flash, crossing her arms.

Peter turns to Ned then, who is frozen with his mouth open, almost as shocked as Peter is, probably. Peter reaches up to touch his lips with his fingers, trying to prove to himself that it was real, and not all in his head like it normally is.

Flash says something - something probably stupid - but Peter isn't listening. He and Ned are still looking at each other, unsure of how to process any of it. Suddenly Ned's mouth forms into a smile, a huge one he can barely contain, and he mouths "dude!" to Peter, trying not to laugh.

“Why the hell are you with Parker, anyway? Why don’t you get with me instead?” He hears Flash tell MJ, and sees his arm reach over to rest on her shoulder.

“Touch me again, Flash, and that stupid arm is coming right off.” She tells him, shimmying it off of her.

Peter smiles at that, always entertained by her and the way she will tell off anyone and everyone.

God, he loves her.

“Alright, I get it,” Flash holds his hands up in defeat, shrugging it off with a somewhat embarrassed laugh. “You guys are...together. Or whatever the hell this thing is. Either way, it’s gross and I think you could do better. See you at decathlon practice!” He tells them, smacking Peter’s head “jokingly” as he’s walking away.

Peter flushes immediately, because he knows MJ is going to turn and look at him and he can hardly even think about her when he remembers how hard she kissed him. And he can hardly look at her without thinking about how much he wants that to happen again.

“Such an idiot,” she laughs a little and takes a bite of her fry, shaking her head as he walks away. “Oh, Parker? I know I was doing the whole “surprise the person about knowing their identity by bringing up something only they would know” thing yesterday, but I actually need my book back.”

How can she act so nonchalant about something so serious?

“You kissed me,” Peter says out loud, as if she somehow had lost the memory of it.

“What? Really?” She replies flatly, her expression full of boredom. “I was obviously trying to convince Flash we were dating, remember?”

“Yeah, but…” Peter starts, already losing his train of thought, wishing he could actually form a coherent thought to fire back with.

But he can’t.

“But he means that you didn’t _have_ to kiss him to prove that,” Ned cuts in, and a part of Peter wants to kill him, but another part of him is relieved that he said exactly what Peter had been trying to say but couldn’t. “Seems to _me_ that you just wanted to kiss him again, so you were making excuses.”

“Butt out, Leeds,” she shakes her head, laughing.

“Still didn’t deny it,” Ned mutters under his breath with a shrug, grabbing a french fry.

“What do _you_ think about this, Parker?” MJ turns and narrows her eyes, waiting for his answer. He feels like he’s being set up. “What’s your opinion?”

“Well…” He rubs the back of his neck nervously, feeling trapped. So he does what he always does when he's nervous: he makes a joke. “You sort of _didn’t_ deny it, so…”

“God, you two are ridiculous,” she actually laughs, shaking her head. “And you know what? Maybe...maybe you’re right. Maybe all I wanted was to kiss you, because it’s all I’ve been able to think about since that night. The night we...we first kissed.”

He was so caught up in her words, and at how good of an actress she is, and at how much he _wanted_ it to all be true, that he almost didn’t even realize she was joking. Until her serious face broke, and she bursted into laughter.

“Seriously, though,” she breathes out with a hum, still smiling in amusement. Peter forces out a laugh then, not wanting to seem to invested in the possibility that maybe she _hadn't_ been joking. “If I _wanted_ to kiss you, Parker, I’d do it. I wouldn’t make up some lame excuse.”

“Oh yeah,” he laughs, nodding. In reality, though, his heart feels like it’s sinking painfully into his stomach. “Yeah, I know. I was just messing with you. Obviously.”

“I wasn’t,” Ned interjects once again, but poorly disguises it as a cough.

“What are you Cupid now, Ned? Coming from the guy who won’t ask out the girl he likes.” MJ smiles a little, sighing in disappointment. “I mean, it’s none of my business really, but…”

“Right?!” Peter laughs, pointing at Ned. “He always messes with me about-”

“About what?” MJ asks, raising an eyebrow.

“About…” Peter gulps, trying to come up with something quickly. He almost said _“he always messes with me about telling you how I feel,”_ but then he realized that he couldn’t exactly say that _to_ her. “About asking Liz out. He used to always, like, torture me about it and he can’t even do this now.”

“I kinda can’t blame you for that one,” MJ shrugs, not seeming to pick up on the sudden weirdness of both Peter _and_ Ned. “She’s pretty hot. And funny, and nice, and smart. I totally get why someone so...opposite of that would be intimidated.”

“Hey!” Peter laughs, pushing her gently. “Too far.”

“Look, I was born with the burden on my shoulders of having to tell the truth,” She looks at him, and sets a semi-comforting hand on his shoulder. “So the whole “you trying to hold me back from that” thing is not really sitting well with me, Parker. So be careful, because I’m sensing the faint approach of divine intervention.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” He shakes his head, taking a bite of his pizza. He’s still upset about the whole “I’d kiss you if I wanted to, and I wouldn’t make an excuse” thing, but he refuses to show it. Even though it’s really, really hard. “So what is it again that you wanted to do this weekend?”

“Oh yeah, so there’s this really cool spot me and my mom used to go to when I was a kid,” she explains, smiling. Which, in return, makes him smile, too, as he watches her. “It’s sort of out of the city, but we would go and watch the stars. We would bring a blanket and food and stuff, and just lay out there and stare into the sky all night.”

After quickly coming back to reality and realizing how sentimental and mushy that sounded, she clears her throat and sits up straighter, putting her “tough” face back on. “Or whatever.”

“Look who’s going all soft on us,” Ned gives a huge, proud smile, and MJ rolls her eyes, trying really hard not to smile herself.

“Screw off, Leeds, I’m not going soft,” She tosses her roll at him, and it bounces off of his head and onto the floor.

“You kinda are,” Peter laughs, but he’s slightly out of breath because seeing her talk about something she loves so much, and seeing her eyes light up like that, always makes his heart beat faster.

“Don’t even start, Parker,” she gives him a glare, but he’s so used to it now that he just laughs, shrugging. “Anyway, you guys have to pay for the cab fare since I came up with the amazing, save-you-from-your-normal-boring-weekend idea.”

“Well how much will it be?” Peter asks, pushing his now-empty lunch tray up so he can rest his elbow in it’s place.

“I’d say about one hundred for both there and back combined,” She shrugs carelessly, finishing off the rest of her salad. Ned almost spits out his food.

“What the hell, MJ? What are we, millionaires?!” Ned throws his hands in the air dramatically, and MJ has a very unamused look on her face.

“It’s fifty bucks, Ned,” She shakes her head, sighing.

“I still have some birthday money left,” Peter shrugs, immediately being fully supportive on the idea of he and MJ out away from the city, in a nice, romantic place where they can see the stars. Ned may be with them, but still. It’s romantic. “I’ll just use that. Plus, Ned, don’t you still have money from those chores you did for your Nana a few weeks ago? Just use that!”

“Yeah, but I was sort of saving that for...you know,” Ned sighs, putting his face in his hands.

“For…?” MJ asks, confused.

“He’s saving it for his date with Betty,” Peter sighs, now feeling bad. “Look, dude, I’ll just pay your half, and…”

“No, I’ll pay it,” MJ breathes in, waving him off. “No big deal.”

“God, no, I feel bad now, so I’ll just-” Ned starts, but MJ reaches over and thumps his arm.

“Just take it and shut up,” she warns him, but has a tiny smile behind it. “Besides, I can’t intervene in fate, and holding you back from your date could possibly subject _my_ life to divine intervention. Can’t risk it.”

“So does that mean you believe in God?” Peter asks, suddenly curious to know.

“Uh, sort of a heavy topic for a cafeteria lunch, but what the hell,” she exhales, not seeming to care enough to disregard the question.

Then the bell rings.

“Saved by the bell,” she grabs her tray, her bag, and stands up. “We’ll talk about our plans more tomorrow. Later, losers.”

“Bye!” Peter waves, smiling at her. She doesn’t give him the time of day, as always.

“Why does she act like we don’t even see her for the rest of the day? We still have two classes with her _and_ decathlon practice.” Ned laughs, picking up his own tray and walking alongside Peter.

“Probably because she ignores us in all three,” Peter considers, ridding himself of his tray, and then grabbing the straps of his backpack securely. “So what do you think about our plans tomorrow?”

“I guess I’ve never gone stargazing, really,” Ned contemplates, trying not to bump into other students on their way through the halls. “So, could be fun. Although I’m already expecting to be a third wheel, which sort of sucks.”

“Dude, you’re not a third wheel,” Peter laughs, patting him on the back supportively. Then his smile fades slowly, and he sighs. “Not at all.”

* * *

“So here’s the plan,” MJ approaches the table the next day, her hair tied back, her beautiful, angular face exposed in (almost) all angles. All except where her side bangs are, where they always are.

Then Peter notices something.

“Sorry to interrupt, but...did you change your hair?” Peter smiles a little, and she sits down.

“I was tired of the purple section, so I re-dyed it red.” She tells him, looking at him like he’s the most annoying person alive. “Can I continue with what I was saying now, or would you like to comment on my choice of apparel for the day, too?”

“I just wanted to tell you I liked it,” he smiles, unbothered by her pretend annoyance. It used to scare him, but now he likes it. “The red is very...MJ-esque.”

“Yeah, I like it too,” Ned leans back in his seat so he can see the strip of red entangled with the rest of her hair that’s pulled back in a low, messy ponytail. She immediately turns so he can’t see it. “It’s fitting.”

“Thanks,” She looks down at her tray, a little embarrassed from the compliments.

“So what was it you were saying?” Peter asks, encouraging her to finish.

“Okay, so tonight I’ll pick you both up at seven in a cab. Be ready. I’ll bring a few blankets, but I think it’s supposed to be cold so bring jackets, too. Multiple jackets. Oh, and snacks. It’s no fun without snacks.” She tells them sternly, as if she’s conducting an important business meeting. “I also have a small…contribution myself. But it’s sort of a surprise.”

“Ooh, what is it?” Ned asks, grinning in anticipation.

“Jesus, Ned, do you even get the mere concept of what a surprise is?” She laughs, shaking her head. “I won’t budge, so don’t even try.”

“Can you at least give _one_ hint?” Peter laughs along with them, curious now. “Like is it a good surprise? Or a bad one? Coming from our perspective, not yours.”

“Hmm, a good one,” she confirms, nodding in certainty. “On both ends.”

“Is there anything else we need to bring?” Ned asks, taking a drink of his chocolate milk.

“I mean I guess if there’s something you _want_ to bring you can. But my suggestions were just necessities, really.” She tells him, pushing her bangs back behind her ear.

“So what does this stargazing place look like?” Peter questions, not really caring that much but just wanting to hear her talk some more.

Then she goes on and on about it, explaining the scenery like it’s something in one of her books; speaking about the colors, the smells, every little detail she can remember. And it lasts longer than he expected really, until she inevitably ended up realizing how long she had gone on, and how she _kind of did_ sound like a softie, so she didn’t talk much for the rest of lunch break.

He wishes that were different, that she could be vulnerable around them, and talk about things she likes without being embarrassed. But even with the progress they’ve made, he’s pretty sure that she may never be comfortable doing that, and it’s okay.

* * *

After decathlon practice, Peter waits in the corner of the hall while Ned and Betty flirt relentlessly at Ned’s locker.

“Seven sharp, Parker,” MJ walks past him to the door, not looking down, not asking _why_ he’s sitting there bored, and not really caring. She walks out before he can even answer, so he just sits back down and sighs, still waiting for Ned.

After forty-five minutes, Peter decides to leave. He texts Ned and lets him know, and reminds him to be ready and at his apartment by seven. Even by the time he gets home there’s no reply.

In any other situation, it would be annoying, probably. But Peter can’t get over the fact that he’s finally talking to Betty, finally making progress. Peter’s really just happy for him.

At six forty-five, Ned _still_ hasn’t arrived, or even replied to Peter’s text yet.

So he calls. No answer. Then he texts again, and still no answer. Peter’s now on a bench in front of the apartment building, backpack ready and all, waiting for either A) Ned to call and tell him that he’s late, or B) MJ to arrive and him have to just break the bad news to her that the trip is cancelled.

Then, at six fifty-seven, Ned calls.

“Dude, where have you been? Are you almost here?” Peter asks, looking down the street to see if he can catch a glimpse.

“Actually, Peter, I...can’t come.” Ned tells him, and Peter can practically _hear_ the smile in his voice.

“What? Why?” Peter furrows his eyebrows, confused.

And then, of course, Peter sees MJ’s cab pulling up.

“Betty asked me out and we’re going to dinner. Looks like I'm spending that money on it's original use after all!” He laughs, so happily, in fact, that even Peter has to laugh along with him. “So it looks like it’s just going to be you and MJ tonight. Gotta go, bye!”

“Wait, Ned-” Peter starts, but Ned had already hung up.

“Get in here, Parker,” MJ yells out of the car window, beckoning him with her hand.

Now he has to go on a _full-on_ romantic, star-gazing moonlight picnic with the girl he’s in love with, which also happens to be the girl that _isn’t_ in love with him. The same one, even, that can proudly admit that she has absolutely no romantic feelings at all for him. Just them, in a secluded area, with no other person to diffuse the awkwardness, or the obviously one-sided tension between them.

Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (did anyone get the original MJ comic nod? Felt like I had to add that in there!)


	30. Firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is like super, super long, so enjoy!!

“Tell Ned to hurry the hell up or we’re leaving without him,” MJ tells Peter as he gets in the car, rubbing his temples. “I can practically _smell_ this cab’s price rising by the second.”

“Actually...Ned’s not coming,” Peter looks at her, trying to break it to her lightly. He never knows how she’s going to react to anything. “He, um...he and Betty apparently have a date tonight. He cancelled on our thing last minute. Like, right as you were pulling up actually.”

“God, he’s finally going on that date? Wow, I’m actually proud of him,” She laughs, then pats the back of the cabbie’s seat twice, letting him know he can go. “So did he tell you how it happened?”

“Um, I think he said that she asked him out,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I knew she’d ask first,” MJ laughs, shaking her head.

“So...we’re still doing this then?” Peter asks, trying to mask his surprise. Not that he _doesn’t_ want to go on a date-like outing with her, but he thought she would probably just go home and that would be that.

“What? Why wouldn’t we? We already planned it, idiot,” She knocks his shoulder, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, but...I didn’t think you’d want to go with just me,” he tells her, confused.

“Why are you acting so weird?” She narrows her eyes at him, her eyebrows furrowing.

“What? I’m not...acting weird. You are.” He crosses his arms, turning to look out the window. It’s getting dark now.

“Good one,” She shakes her head, laughing at his stupidity. “So what snacks did you bring? All vegetarian, I hope.”

“Uh, goldfish - the cheesy crackers, not actual goldfish, obviously. Also I have cookies, chex mix, and a few sodas. I know you don’t like them, but...I had to.” He laughs, patting his backpack happily. “And I have this jacket, but I also have another in my bag. Like you said. Oh, and a pillow. Small, but I think it’ll do the trick.”

“Sounds good,” she nods, and then pats _her_ backpack. “I got some good blankets, and a few flashlights so we can get around. I think we’re all set.”

Then the cabbie asks where he needs to go, because she “gives directions like a maniac,” AKA doesn’t give clear directions at all. She apparently didn’t really give him directions at all, she just told him to “keep driving straight until I say otherwise.”

“Turn right up here,” She leans between the two front seats, resting one of her elbows on Peter’s knee. Which embarrassingly makes him sweat a little when he admits it to himself. “And then I’ll tell you when to turn again.”

The guy shakes his head and is very clearly annoyed, but if MJ notices, she doesn’t show it as she leans back in her seat, her elbow coming off of his leg.

“So I was looking at the weather earlier, and apparently the sky is supposed to be really clear tonight.” MJ tells Peter, laying her arm casually against the window.

“Oooh, big date night tonight, huh?” The guy sits up a little so he can eye them both through the mirror at eye-level.

“Save it, ghost of Christmas past,” MJ rolls her eyes, and Peter would have blushed at his comment if he hadn’t been so happy that he finally got one of her references.

“I love Scrooged!” Peter smiles, clapping happily.

“Congrats, loser,” she eyes him, never giving him the satisfaction. Not like he thought she would anyway, but he was proud of himself, at least.

She spends the next twenty or so minutes guiding the driver, remembering every single turn off the top of her head. The sky is completely dark now, and it’s been so long since he’s been out of the city, that it’s actually strange to see it like this. Because even when it’s nighttime in New York City, it’s never _dark_ in New York City.

“Oh, pull over here,” MJ tells the guy suddenly, and he pulls over on the side of the road. “It’s not far. We can just walk the rest of the way.”

“Sounds good,” Peter tells her, rummaging through his backpack for the cash he brought. MJ gets hers out too, grabs Peter’s, mushes the cash together, and gives it to the cabbie.

“Keep the change,” She tells him, and he nods, thanking her. “Let’s go, Parker.”

So they get out of the cab, and although the moon is decently bright, his eyes are still attempting to adjust to the darkness.

And then she gives him a flashlight.

They watch as the driver pulls the car around, and disappears down the road. Now they’re standing here in the cold, on the side of the highway, and Peter can see a field to his right. A huge, grass-covered field.

“How, um...how are we going to get back if there’s not an address?” Peter asks, jogging to catch up to MJ.

“I actually didn’t think that far ahead,” She shrugs, looking up in the sky as she walks. “But we’ll figure it out.”

“What? What if we get, like, stranded out here?” He takes in a long breath, feeling anxious even at the thought.

“Aww, is Spider-Man afraid of the dark?” She pushes her bottom lip out, and fakes to wipe a tear from her cheek.

“Will you ever give me a break?” He laughs, shaking his head as he stares down at the pavement.

“Do you even know me at all? Of course I won’t.”

They walk in silence for a few minutes, but it’s a comfortable one, not an awkward one.

“Sometimes I forget places outside of traffic and car horns exist,” He laughs, taking a refreshing breath that makes his head spin for a few seconds. “It’s beautiful out here. Not crazy and loud, just...peaceful.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” she tells him, the sound of her shoes against the pavement echoing. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the city. But what I _don’t_ love is the light pollution. And the noise, and the chaos.”

Peter opens his mouth to speak, but she cuts him off.

“Here it is,” she laughs, stepping in front of him, off the road, and into the grass. She walks along the fence on the outskirts of the field, and Peter follows behind her. He almost asks “here what is?” but then he sees it: a broken strand off barbed wire at the bottom of the fence.

“Come on,” She tells him, tossing her bag in his arms while she gets down on her knees and elbows and pushes her way to the other side. Then when she’s through, she stands up, dusts herself off, and says “push the bags through then come on.”

So he does. She grabs both of their bags, but then instead of getting down, he backs up, almost to the road.

“What the hell are you doing, Parker?” She asks, and he grins. Then he runs quickly before jumping over the fence altogether. He flips in the air once, before making a perfect landing on the ground beside her. She stands there a moment, just looking at him. He thinks he sees a slight smile on her lips, but maybe his eyes are just playing tricks on him, because she ends up saying “show off.”

He just shrugs with a laugh, not really denying it.

“So how far is it?” he questions, throwing his backpack over his shoulder.

“Not very,” she answers, crossing her arms for warmth, letting his flashlight lead the way. Vague answer, but he follows anyway, not questioning her any further.

“Here,” She tells him a few minutes later, stopping. He almost bumps into her back because his mind had been wandering everywhere. “This is it.”

“How can you tell?” he looks at her, watching as she pulls her bag off of her shoulder, and grabs the blankets out.

“See that hill?” she points to her left, and he looks over, nodding. “I remember it. This is the spot we always laid down at.”

“Ahh,”

“Get your stuff out,” she tells him - orders him, more like - spreading a big blanket across the short, freshly-mown grass. His eyes are adjusted to the darkness so much now, that it almost looks light. Not daylight-light, but light enough to see almost everything, so he shuts his flashlight off and puts it away.

“God, it’s so beautiful out here,” he smiles, looking around as he takes his pillow, snacks, and extra jacket out of his backpack, then sets it to the side. He puts his pillow and snacks down on the blanket, and then holds onto his jacket as he sits down.

“I know,” she agrees, sitting down next to him. Then she passes him a side of the second blanket, and he pulls it over himself, trying to get warm. She lays down then, pulling the covers over herself too as she laces her fingers together and lays her head back on them, her elbows heightened slightly as she looks up.

“Do you want some of this pillow? I don’t mind sharing,” he tells her, laughing. “You look uncomfortable.”

“No thanks, I’m good,” she tells him, and he shrugs.

“Your loss,” he replies, laying his head back cozily. “It feels like I’m laying on a cloud.”

“So basically it feels like exactly what _I’m_ doing right now then, right?” She turns, looking over at him.

“What?”

“If you were actually laying on a cloud, your head would go right through it since it’s not solid matter,” she tells him, and he’s already rolling his eyes. “Therefore you would technically just be lying here exactly like I am comfortability wise: no more, no less.”

“I hate when you take everything literally,” he laughs, shaking his head as he looks at her.

“I hate when you _don’t_ take everything literally,” she kicks him under the blanket, smiling evilly. “Now shut up, I’m trying to watch these stars in peace.”

“Fine, fine,” he replies, turning to look up himself.

It’s one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen. The moon is visible, and the longer he looks up into the clear night sky, the more stars seem to show up. It’s so soothing and relaxing, actually, that he _almost_ doesn’t see MJ keep having to adjust her position in his peripheral. Almost.

“Just take the pillow,” he sighs, sitting up on his elbows and holding it out to her.

“No, I don’t need it,” she replies stubbornly, not even _considering_ his offer.

“You can’t even enjoy this because your neck is killing you, I know it,” he groans, still holding it out. “I don’t mind.”

“Fine, since you won’t shut up about it,” she rolls her eyes, pretending to be annoyed by his persistence.

“Mhmm,” he laughs, shaking his head at her.

So he lays back down, both of them getting back into comfortable positions again. And then thirty seconds in, MJ groans, and says “let’s just freaking share the damn pillow. I feel bad now.”

“No, it’s fine,” he assures her, but they go back and forth for probably two whole minutes about how he hadn’t meant to make her feel bad, and then she goes on about how she knows he didn’t, but she still feels bad anyway.

So he scoots in closer to her, their shoulders bumping and sides touching as he lays his head next to hers on the pillow.

“Just don’t speak of this ever again or you’re dead,” she huffs out, not proud of it.

“You can kiss me in front of the school but somehow sharing a pillow is where you draw the line,” he laughs out, and she elbows him in the side, laughing a little herself.

“It’s obviously different,” she sighs, her breath showing up like fog in the cold air. “God, I hate you, Parker,”

“Hate you more,” he bumps her shoulder with his, smiling up at the sky.

They stare up at the sky for ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, before he feels her constant, unwavering shivers, and hears the sound of her teeth chattering even underneath the barrier of her closed lips.

“Are you okay?” Peter finally asks, unable to pretend he doesn’t notice anymore, which is most likely what she wanted him to do. He got too worried, though.

“What? I’m f-f-fine,” she chatters, trying to force her body to stop betraying her words.

“Jesus, MJ, you’re shaking,” he sighs, sitting up on his elbows. Yes, he’s cold too, but ever since he got bitten he hasn’t been _as_ susceptible to cooler climates as he was before. Or maybe it could just be the added muscle, but either way, he knows he needs to do something.

“I’ll l-live,” she tells him, mentally cursing herself for chattering again.

“Take my extra jacket, at least,” he tells her, his throat burning from the cold. He sits up, grabs the jacket, and lays it over her body himself.

“How are you not dying right now?” she asks, clutching onto the jacket desperately.

“I kind of am,” he laughs, breathing warm air into his hands. “Let’s just...try not to think about it and maybe it won’t be so bad. Like distract ourselves.”

“How?” She asks, looking up at him.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, trying to come up with something. “We can stuff our faces with snacks. Or...oh wait, what was that surprise you were talking about at lunch today?”

“Oh, God,” she shuts her eyes, her chattering seeming to die down at least a _little_ with the addition of his extra jacket.

“What?” he laughs, rubbing up and down the sleeves of his jacket, trying to stay warm.

“Just a s-second,” she sighs, grabbing her bag and looking through it. She grasps something, but before she pulls it out, she looks at him. “Don’t say anything about this being a date or you’ll die a very p-painful death.”

“Um, alright,” he replies, confused. What does that mean?

And then...she pulls out a bottle of what he guesses is wine.

“Is that…?”

“It’s champagne,” she tells him, before he can even ask what he was going to ask. “Nabbed it from the mini bar at my cousin’s wedding a few months back. It was just g-gonna be a fun first alcohol-related experience for all three of us, but now that it’s just us it looks like some cheesy, cliched-to-death romance movie, which is not what I was going for at all.”

“Mhmm, sure you weren’t,” he grins, tilting his head teasingly.

“Shut up,” she laughs, shaking her head. “Now that I think about it, this thing might actually keep us warm. Want some?”

“I’ve never had any alcohol or anything, but...um, sure, I’ll try it,” he nods, rubbing his hands together anxiously. “Ned’s gonna kill me for doing this without him.”

“You two really have to hold hands through everything you d-do, don’t you?” MJ laughs, and he doesn’t say anything, but she’s getting so distracted, that he hasn’t seen her shiver since she grabbed the champagne bottle. “Damn, this s-shivering is taking away my edge.”

“Yeah, actually,” he agrees, laughing with her. “Need help with that?”

“No, I’ve got it,” she refuses, trying to uncork it. She can’t. Finally, after almost five whole minutes of her trying to open it, she hands it to Peter with an eyeroll. He pops it open almost immediately: a small bit of foam running over the top and onto his hands.

“Perks of having Spider-Man as a friend, I guess,” she laughs, as he hands the bottle back over to her. Then she brings the bottle up to her lips, takes a gulp, and then hands it over to Peter, her face unchanging.

He always heard that alcohol tastes bad, so he’s hoping this one is maybe one of the few exceptions that _don’t_ have a bad taste. Besides, he’s pretty sure on the label that it only said 11% alcohol in it anyway, so it can’t be _too_ bad.

“Oh, gross!” he hands her back the bottle, swallowing his mouthful down as fast as he can. “God, how did you not make a face?”

“My mom used to let me have small sips of her wine at the dinner table,” she shrugs, not seeming fazed as she takes another drink of it. She hands it back over to him after that, and then pulls the blanket up and over both of their shoulders for at least a tiny bit more warmth.

He tilts the bottle back and takes another drink, getting more this time but holding his nose to avoid the taste.

He can already hear what Ned’s going to say about this when he tells him: _“Dude, her mouth was on it, then your mouth was on it? Multiple times? You practically were making out again.”_

“I can’t wait until this kicks in and I start feeling all warm and tingly,” she sighs, grabbing the bottle back and taking another drink.

“We can’t get, like, drunk off of this can we? I mean it’s not that much alcohol, right?” he asks, watching as she takes another drink, and hands it back to him again.

“Oh yeah, you can get drunk,” she assures him, laughing. “But I’ve heard being drunk isn’t really fun at all. Just getting buzzed is, which is what I’m aiming for.”

“So you’ve never...been drunk?” he asks, passing the bottle back to her after his turn.

“Neither drunk nor buzzed, no,” she replies, snuggling into the jacket he gave her. “Well, maybe buzzed. When I was twelve my mom gave me a sip of her wine, but then I took a few more when she went to the bathroom. I felt like I was floating.”

Pass the bottle.

“Really?” He takes another drink, the taste not bothering him much anymore. Then he lowers the bottle from his lips, looking at the label. “How long does this stuff take to work? An hour, maybe? Longer?”

Pass the bottle.

“No, not even close,” she laughs, taking a brief moment to take her turn.

Pass the bottle.

“You’ll probably start feeling it any minute,” she tells him, reaching over to grab the bag of goldfish, then quickly coming back to the warm embrace of the blanket.

“Oh wow,” he breathes out, actually kind of excited as he takes another drink.

Pass the bottle.

“So you’ve really never had _any_ alcohol before? Not even a taste?” she asks, taking her turn once again.

“Nope,” he shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders.

Pass the bottle.

“I mean, May has offered to give me a taste, but I thought it was a trap so I never did it.” he tells her, pulling the bottle back up to his lips. “So how do I know when I’m buzzed, anyway?”

“I think I’m already feeling it,” she laughs out, a kind of laugh Peter isn’t sure he’s ever heard from her before. He looks at her, blinking to make it clearer. His vision feels weird. And so does his head, and arms, and legs.

“So it’s like...your limbs are numb and your eyes get all weird?” he asks, looking around himself as if it’s all strange. And it kind of is, because he’s never experienced something like this before.

“Exactly!” she tells him, grabbing the bottle and taking a drink. “I mean, I’m fully functional and everything, obviously, but...I feel lighter. If that makes sense.”

“It does,” he laughs too, suddenly unable to think about any stress or problems even though he’s _trying_ just to make sure he can. “I feel good. I see what you mean about warm and floaty now. I mean tingly. Not floaty. Can I have another drink?”

“Have at it,” she laughs, placing it in his hands. He takes another long gulp, then hands it back, running his fingers through his hair. “Whoa.”

“I know,” she sighs, leaving some in the bottle but putting it away for now. She sets it back over by her bag, fumbling to put the cork back in the top before giving up on it and turning back to face him. “How do you feel?”

“Like I’m probably surpassing buzzed and going straight to drunk,” he laughs, his head spinning a little. MJ bursts into laughter then, a genuine smile spreading on her face. This is exactly the MJ he’s been trying to find: the one that’s not so worried about showing feelings that she’s just completely closed off. This one is open, this one laughs, this one is not guarded. “Although this is my first time experiencing either, so I could be wrong.”

They laugh together about nothing for a few minutes, Peter’s stomach and cheeks hurting from it.

“I can’t believe we almost drank that whole bottle,” he sighs, pressing his hands into the soft, fresh grass and leaning back. “Ned’s going to be so jealous. I hope his date’s going well and everything. I love Ned.”

“I know, Parker,” MJ reaches over and pats his shoulder, laughing. “I think they’ll be great together. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Peter smiles, looking down at his hands. Which actually now he can’t really focus on, and it’s extremely weird. “He was just so excited on the phone, MJ, you should have heard him. I wish I could have seen him before he left, you know?”

“You’re...a good friend,” she laughs softly, leaning her cheek against her shoulder.

“I just hope he has a great first date, and I hope he kisses her,” he breathes out, laughing. “Kissing is so fun.”

“You mean kissing _me_ is so fun,” she sits up, stuffing her hand into the bag of goldfish and smiling. “Doesn’t mean he’ll have the same experience, you know.”

He looks at her then, suddenly transported back to their first kiss when she says that. And now, even though he knows he shouldn’t be, he’s staring at her lips, and his body is numb, and all he can think about is kissing her again. This time he would be fully present, and he’d put his arms around her and feel her soft, warm skin, and he would use his hands to-

“Earth to Peter,” she snaps, laughing dazily. “What are you thinking about, weirdo?”

She’s looking at him, waiting, and all he wants to say is _“I was thinking about kissing you.”_

But he’s not sure he could ever be drunk enough to be that blunt.

“Um...nothing,” he replies, gulping and forcing a laugh.

“How very convincing,” she sighs, running her hand across the soft blanket beneath them. Their knees are touching.

“So how is the shelter going?” he asks her, always knowing it’s a foolproof way to see her eyes do that thing where they light up, and she smiles happily, and it makes his stomach all nervous and fluttery.

“Oh, it’s great,” she tells him, leaning in closer now with a smile.

She goes on for a few minutes and talks about how they celebrated Ti’s fourth birthday the other day, and how she bought a cake. And then she went on about their food options, and what deals she got at the market the other day. And he smiles, because although she’s been drinking and doesn’t have a clear head, helping people is still her passion anyway. And he can tell that she could talk about them for hours, and she’d never run out of things to say.

“God, you’re so pretty,” he sighs under his breath, staring at her with a sad, heart aching smile. That’s exactly what he’s thinking when he’s sober and she talks about these things, but now, after drinking, it somehow just spilled out of his mouth without his permission.

“What did you say?” She asks, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

“Huh? I didn’t say anything,” he quickly tries to cover it up, laughing it off coolly. “I just...I was just saying that it’s cold.”

Maybe, he realizes quickly, he shouldn’t have  has his first bit of alcohol with his crush and _only_ his crush around. No one - not even Ned - is here to tell him to shut up when he needs it.

“I can’t wait to tell Ned how embarrassing drunk Peter is,” MJ laughs out, laying her head back on the grass. “I’m making a grass angel.”

“You’re embarrassing too!” He accuses, smiling a little anyway. “I mean, look at what you’re doing right now. A _grass_ angel? No one does that.”

“Hey, _I_ do, and that’s someone,” she brings herself back up, laughing. “Do you have your suit with you?”

“It’s in my backpack, yeah,” he nods, blinking like a weirdo, still trying to process the fact that he’s _drunk._ Or buzzed, or whatever this thing is. It feels weird, is the point. “Why?”

“I was just thinking that maybe - since we’re so cold, you know - you could put it on and we could take advantage of that amazing heater.” She suggests, grabbing the bottle back again and taking another swig, before handing it to him.

“If you wanted to cuddle with me you could have just asked,” he smiles at her, mocking her previous snarky comment about them holding hands a few weeks ago. And then he takes a gulp from the bottle too, handing it back.

“I’d _screw_ you right now if it kept me warm,” She half laughs, taking another drink. He gulps. “Just a joke, once again, if you hadn’t picked that up.”

“You’re even blunter when you’re drunk,” he forces out a laugh, his heart pounding beneath his ribs. “If that’s possible.”

“Just put on the suit before I freeze, please,” she breathes out with a laugh, her teeth chattering again. “Only to save me from a young, tragic death that would most definitely be your fault.”

“You’re evil,” he smiles, standing up and grabbing his backpack.

“I take pride in it, thank you,” she laughs, leaning back on her hands, staring up at him.

He feels her staring as he pulls his suit out of his backpack. If he was sober right now, he would ask her to look away like he always does. But now, intoxicated, feeling her eyes on him, he wonders what she’ll do if he _doesn’t_ ask her to look away.

So he takes his jacket off. He feels nervous, even despite the alcohol in his system, because he knows she’s watching him. He has no idea what she’s thinking either, so that’s even _more_ nerve wracking.

He then takes his sweater off, focusing everything on his actions, and trying not to wonder about what _she’s_ thinking. It’s difficult.

Now he’s shirtless, and unzipping his pants. He’s silent and she’s silent, and although he’s nervous, he knows that this would be about a million times worse if he was sober.

“That’s another reason I suspected you were Spider-Man,” she tells him, and he looks over at her, startled. Yeah, he’s definitely a little on edge.

“What?” He asks, pushing his hair back and gulping. Her eyes are slowly washing over his body, taking it all in, examining it. Then she gets to his eyes, and she laughs a little.

“No Sophomore has that body,” she replies, tilting her head and giving it another look. Without even thinking about it, Peter tries to discreetly flex his muscles a little, just to impress her. “Actually, scratch that. No _high schooler_ has that body.”

He gets a little fidgety and smiley then, because he’s pretty sure it’s a compliment. “You should see Captain America. That dude was _huge._ It was crazy.”

“Ahh, Captain America,” she leans back, sighing. “He’s so hot. Extremely lame and probably annoying, but hot. Sort of like you, Parker.”

“Whoa,” he stops instantly, midway through pulling his suit on. “You...think I’m hot?”

If it wasn’t so bone-chillingly cold out, he would be blushing like an idiot right now.

“What? No. No, I meant the lame and annoying part.” she quickly waves him off, completely denying it. She actually looks taken aback, as if she hadn’t even realized she had said it aloud. That’s a rare look on MJ.

“No, you didn’t! You’re embarrassed, I can tell,” he points at her, laughing as he pulls his suit all the way on. He’s about to freeze to death now, almost naked in this weather.

“I think I should probably put this bad-decision-making juice away for now,” she tells him, stuffing the cork in the top as best as she can, before packing the bottle back in her bag. “Jesus Christ I can hardly think straight.”

“Yeah, same here,” he sighs, getting back down and under the blanket. “Or _see_ straight for that matter.”

They’re both shivering as she lays down next to him, as he puts his jacket on over his suit. He pulls his mask on then, asks Karen to turn the heater on as high as it can go, and then pulls the mask off, sighing contently at the sudden warmth. He hears MJ’s teeth chattering, so he turns, pulls her in closer, and wraps his arms around her. She seems stiff at first, like she might fight it, but then she gives in, pressing her cheek to his chest and wrapping her arms around his sides beneath his jacket to soak up the warmth.

“Trying to make a move on me, P-Parker?” she laughs out, and his arms tighten around her as he smiles.

“Aren’t I always?” he replies, and feels the unmistakable shake of her laughter against his chest.

He shuts his eyes, letting himself breathe out finally, his shoulders relaxing. There’s a silence in the air, and for some reason he feels tension between them. Maybe it was the being almost naked in front of her thing, or maybe it was the her calling him hot thing, but it’s real, and it’s there, and it feels unbearable.

His hand - the hand that’s on her back - slowly moves down, and it doesn’t stop until it reaches the bare strip of skin where her shirt and jacket had hiked up just barely. He’s not fully aware of _why_ he’s doing this, but somehow, for some reason, it feels right.

His heart is racing, and he’s sure she can hear it against her ear, as he presses his full hand against the warm, soft skin at the small of her back. He’s hardly even cold anymore, because being cold is the _very last_ thing on his mind right now, unsurprisingly, as his hand slides farther up her back, beneath her shirt. His fingers ghost over her skin gently, his thumb stroking her back with a teasing, achingly-slow pace. He hears her breathe out against his chest and feels the skin on her back that he’s touching break out in very distinct chill bumps even through his gloves. He also feels the tips of her fingers pressing into his sides, which forces him to swallow thickly.

He has to open his mouth now because he’s so breathless, so completely taken over by what’s happening, that he has no other option than to feel the frigid, drying air in his throat. His head still feels weird, and he can’t think straight whatsoever, but he now knows why everyone calls alcohol liquid courage.

He feels her shift then, and his hand slides down to the back of her thigh as she sits up. When he forces his eyes open, she’s hovering above him, very apparently just as breathless as he is. They’re both blinking slowly, looking at each other, feeling the tension but neither sure what to do about it. Her hand reaches up and tangles in his hair, and he sighs and softly squeezes the back of her thigh, finally content that he’s feeling her skin against his.

Still, neither are saying anything. There’s only the sound of nature and their heavy breaths in the air, and he’s okay with that. Words wouldn’t - and couldn’t - fit into the atmosphere of what they’re experiencing right now.

His eyes fall from her eyes to her lips, unable to contain himself from thinking about kissing her again, tasting her again. And then he looks back in her eyes and gulps, and they stay like that for a few more moments, staring at each other, before she slowly leans down and kisses him. Her body relaxes against his, and she lets out a soft moan against his lips as soon as their mouths lock together.

It’s a slow, sensual, intimate kiss that turns him into absolute mush. Her fingers push through his hair, and her other hand cups his cheek in desperation to get closer. He moves his hand up, letting both of his arms wrap around her waist as he pulls her against him. Chill bumps erupt all over _his_ skin now, in a wave of euphoria.

When their lips part a few moments later, their foreheads press together, and he feels her hot, heavy breath against his mouth. They sit like that for a few beats - her hand still in his hair, her other on his cheek - until she finally pulls away, and lays her head back down against his chest. His chest is still rising and falling rapidly, as he looks up and sees the stars, which are all spinning swiftly in his vision. He shuts his eyes to avoid it, pulls the blanket back over MJ, and sighs contently, almost instantly slipping into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have to admit it - I loved writing this one! I thought it was about time that they finally broke down and kissed without a dare/trick/etc. as an excuse, and I felt like being a little buzzed would be one of the only ways either would be brave enough. Let me know what you think!!


	31. Together Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, hope you enjoy :)

“Wake up,” Peter hears, just barely, and feels a nudge against his shoulder. His head is groggy and dizzy, and all he can do is groan sleepily in response. He turns his body, pulling the blanket up to his shoulders and slipping his arm beneath his pillow. “Parker,  _ get up.”  _

He feels a light punch to his arm, which then fully wakes him up.  

“Ow,” he sits up, rubbing his arm and making a pained face. “What was that for?”

For a moment he forgot where he was, who he was with, and what happened last night. But there’s no amount of alcohol in the world that could make him forget what they did. But now since he’s sober, it’s...extremely awkward. 

He looks at her, and she’s sitting up too, her eyes tired. His extra jacket is on her, and she takes her eyes off of the sunrise for a moment so she can look at him. He blushes immediately and looks away, not sure how to approach this at all. He loved it, obviously, but what did she think about it? What does she think now? 

“Relax, Peter, I’m not going to makeout with you,” she laughs a little, but her attempt at lightening the mood isn’t successful. 

“Should we...talk about it?” he breathes out, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. “About what happened?”

“What is there to talk about?” she replies, her voice unreadable. “We were drunk. I mean, friends can kiss, like, platonically if they’re drunk, right? Who cares?”

“I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be feeling up and making out with Ned just because we were drunk, MJ,” Peter sighs, and then shuts his eyes, immediately knowing it was a mistake. 

“I think we both know that our friendship isn’t the same as you and Ned’s,” she mutters under her breath, annoyed. “Besides, it was  _ just  _ kissing, Parker. It was a stupid mistake, and that’s it. Get over yourself.”

He looks at her then, hurt. Not because she said it was a mistake, no, because he already knew she considered it that. But now she’s  _ angry  _ at him? For what? It was never just one-sided.

“Don’t act like it’s all  _ my  _ fault,” he retorts, and she looks at him in surprise. He never really raises his voice in any way.  _ “You _ kissed  _ me, _ remember?”

“Are you kidding me?  _ You _ started it, with all of that touching and rubbing and whatever the hell it was that you were doing,” she pushes his chest, clenching her jaw. 

“Yeah, well I didn’t hear you complaining when you were freaking  _ making out with me,”  _ he huffs, crossing his arms. 

“I was drunk,” she replies, feeling as if she needed to remind him of that fact. “I might as well have just tossed my moral compass and let it sink to the bottom of the Pacific. Jesus, why did you even do that in the first place, anyway?”

He doesn’t really have an answer. Well, not one he wants to willingly admit to her, at least.

“I was drunk too! We both know that everything is, like….like heightened or whatever. I wasn’t thinking straight at all, and…” he starts, then breathes out, unsure of where to go from there.

“So what, you did it because you were turned on?” she narrows her eyes, and he runs his hand through his hair, gulping. 

“Oh, and you weren’t, Miss Moan-Because-I-Touched-Your-Back?” he scoffs, firing back at her. 

“That wasn’t...I did  _ not  _ moan,” she points her finger at him sternly, not backing down. “You freaking wish, Peter.”

“No, you definitely moaned. Multiple times, actually,” he puts his finger on his chin, pretending to strain to remember, “I think I recall you moaning  _ again  _ when you kissed me, too. You know, when your hand was in my hair and you were on top of me? Jog your memory at all?”

“I would have made out with Quasi-freakin’-modo if he had been the one to touch me like that right then,” she visibly swallows, a permanent look of anger written on her face. “My head was spinning like crazy, and I hardly even realized it was  _ you  _ anyway. More than you can say about why you were feeling me up. Your words, by the way, not mine.”

“I could have just been trying to warm you up for all you know,” he states, not backing down, either. For once, he might just win a fight with her. “My hand was  _ just  _ on your back; it’s not  _ my  _ fault you took it as me feeling you up. Probably only because that’s what you wanted it to be like.”

“Oh, okay, Parker,” she laughs and tilts her head mockingly. It’s actually a little scary. “So just tell me the truth, then: were your real intentions just to warm me up? Or was there more to it than that? Please, do tell.”

“Fine,” he breathes out, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. He only just now realized he still has his suit on. “Fine, maybe it wasn’t  _ as  _ innocent as I was making it out to be. But so what? It’s not like I forced you to kiss me; you chose to do that on your own.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t see  _ you _ stopping  _ me,  _ either,” she replies, breathing out. “God, can we just forget about it? We were both drunk and stupid, and that’s it. Nothing more, obviously.”

“Yeah, let’s just…” he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Let’s just forget about it.”

“And  _ no  _ telling Ned, okay?” she orders, very strictly. “He would freak out and-”

“Oh my God, Ned,” Peter gasps, then turns and searches through the blankets to find his phone. “He probably called about the date and I was freaking asleep.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” MJ sighs, slumping her shoulders. 

“Seven missed calls, twelve texts,” Peter laughs, putting the phone up to his ear as he calls him back. 

“Put it on speaker!” MJ demands, scooting closer. “Seriously, I want to hear how it went too.”

Peter reluctantly takes the phone away from his ear, and presses the speaker button. A few rings later, Ned picks up. 

“Finally, Peter, I was trying to call you all night,” Ned responds in a sleepy voice, and Peter realizes he probably woke him up. It  _ is  _ only seven a.m. on a Saturday, after all. “So how did it go with MJ, then? Anything sexy happen?”

“You’re on speaker, Leeds,” MJ laughs, glancing up at a blushing Peter. 

“Oh,” Ned laughs awkwardly, and Peter already wants to strangle him. “I was just joking, you know. I didn’t actually think-”

“So how was the date, Ned?” Peter clears his throat, changing the topic mid-sentence. 

“It was great! Like, even better than I thought it would be,” Ned gushes, sighing happily. “We ate dinner, watched a movie, pretty much had a cliche date. But it was so much fun, and she laughed at my jokes, and dude, she likes Star Wars.”

“Well did you kiss her or what, Leeds?” MJ laughs, tucking her hair back and running her hand through the dewy grass. 

“Yeah, we kissed,” Ned laughs into the phone, and Peter grins because he knows how happy Ned is. “It was amazing. And she said we should go out again sometime, which is...crazy.”

“I’m so, so happy for you, dude,” Peter laughs, wishing he was here right now. “We should go get breakfast or something.”

“Oh yeah, sounds great. I’m already wide awake anyway,” Ned responds, and Peter hears him getting out of bed. 

“What about that IHOP on Northern? Half an hour?” Peter asks, then looks at MJ, mouthing “do you wanna come too?”

“Um, sure,” she replies in a whisper, nodding. 

“MJ’s coming too.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys there,” Ned answers, yawning. “And I want to hear all about you guys’ trip then, okay? Bye!”

“Bye, Ned,” Peter and MJ say in unison, before Ned hangs up. 

“I guess I can just get an Uber and send them our location,” MJ tells Peter, typing on her phone. 

“Sounds great,” Peter nods, standing up and stretching. “It’s so beautiful out here. Even more so now that I can actually  _ see.” _

“Yeah, it’s great,” MJ agrees, briefly glancing up from her screen so she can look around. 

“I’m gonna get changed back into my clothes, okay?” Peter tells her, digging through his bag. “So don’t look.”

“Pssh, like I’d want to,” she scoffs with a laugh, as he starts pulling his suit down his arms. 

“That’s not how you were acting last night,” he mutters under his breath, glancing at her with a smile. 

“Just shut up, Parker,” she laughs a little, shaking her head as she tosses a handful of goldfish at him. Wanting to impress her with his reflexes - as always - he grabs a few of them out of the air, and puts them in his mouth.

“You actually can’t pass up even a tiny chance to show off, can you?” she laughs again, rolling her eyes playfully and looking back down at her phone. 

“Showing off? I have no idea what you mean,” he shrugs her off, laughing along with her.

After finally getting all of their things together and packed up, they make their way back to the road. They sit down in the grass, waiting a few minutes for their driver to pull up. When they arrive, they load all of their things in, and MJ gives the driver the address for the IHOP. After pretty much sitting in complete silence the whole ride, they finally arrive, and Peter uses almost every bit left of his money to split the bill. They thank their driver, and walk inside.

“Over here!” Ned signals them, sitting in a booth in the corner of the restaurant. He has a huge smile on his face, which causes  _ Peter  _ to get a huge smile on his face. He missed him, even though it was just one night. 

“Hey, Leeds,” MJ slides into the booth opposite of Ned, and Peter slides in next to her. 

“So how did you guys’ night go?” Ned asks, especially eyeing Peter. It’s obvious, too. 

“It was...good,” Peter forces a smile, feeling both MJ and Ned staring at him. Both for different reasons though. “The stars were so bright. You should’ve seen it, Ned.”

“Whoa, hold on,” Ned puts his hand up, narrows his eyes, and looks between them suspiciously. “What happened?”

“What do you mean?” Peter asks, laughing it off like it’s preposterous. Oh, God. 

“Something happened between you guys, didn’t it?” He stares them down, a tiny smile forming. “I can so tell. MJ’s giving it away. Oh my god, what was it?”

“You’re delusional,” MJ sighs, shaking her head. “We got there, watched the stars, then fell asleep. That’s it.”

“Peter?” Ned turns to him, staring him right in the eyes. “Is that what happened?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course it is,” Peter scoffs with a laugh, looking even more guilty during his attempt to  _ not  _ look guilty. “We just...you know, what she said.”

“Okay, you’re both lying,” Ned rubs his hands together, smiling. “So what was it?”

“Jesus, Peter, you’re such a bad liar,” MJ groans, elbowing him in the side. “I knew as soon as Ned looked at you we were done for.”

“It’s not my fault that my bestfriend knows when I’m lying!” Peter sighs in exasperation, rubbing his forehead. 

“Parker, a stranger in the street could have known you were lying,” MJ retorts, leaning her back against the cushion, crossing her arms. 

“So? What was it?” Ned leans in, propping his chin on his fists with a smile, looking like a child waiting for their bedtime story. “Tell me.”

“Why don’t we talk about your date?” Peter cuts in, clearing his throat awkwardly. “How was Betty?”

“Change of topic? This must have been good,” Ned grins, not giving in. “Oh my God...did you guys have...you know, sex?”

“No! Jesus, no, Ned, we didn’t have sex,” MJ kicks him under the table, closing her eyes and rubbing the bridge of her nose. “All it was-”

“-Can I take your order?” They hear suddenly, which makes them all jolt up in surprise. There’s a cute red-head at their table, a notepad in hand. Peter’s heart is racing out of his chest. 

“I’ll have the blueberry waffles, please,” Ned smiles up at her, then hands her his menu. “Oh, and some orange juice.”

She nods, writes it down, then turns to Peter and MJ. 

“Um, I’ll have…” Peter looks down at his menu, selecting the first thing he sees. “Just a double stack of strawberry pancakes,” he gulps, handing her the menu. “And a decaf coffee, too, please.”

“I’ll get the triple stacked chocolate chip waffles, and a double order of hashbrowns if you don’t mind, with some orange juice,” MJ hands her the menu with a smile, and the girl nods, takes the menu and stacks it on the others, smiling and telling them it will be ready in a few minutes.

“Okay, so now that we did that, we have no distractions,” Ned smiles, looking at them for answers. “Continue, please, MJ.”

“Fine, I’ll tell you, but just shut up about it afterwards, okay? I don’t want to hear any stupid jokes,” she sighs, regret already evident in her voice. “And you can’t tell anyone.”

“My lips are sealed,” he puts his hands up, and Peter takes in a deep breath. 

“I brought some champagne - which, keep in mind that I thought  _ you  _ would be there too - and we got sort of...drunk. Then we laid down, and...god, we kissed. Once. Or twice, I don’t remember, but either way, we were both being drunk idiots. That’s it. There’s nothing else to talk about.” She rushes her voice, but Peter’s pretty sure he hears her gulp after she’s finished. “Happy?”

“Yeah, I am, actually,” Ned laughs, his dimples showing. “I still feel like there’s something you aren’t telling me, though. I mean, come on, you guys were out there by yourself in the cold, probably cuddling while you watched the stars all tipsy and everything. Plus, Peter looks guilty. So are you  _ sure-” _

“-I stuck my hand up her shirt,” Peter blabs out, cutting Ned off. A few people in the restaurant turn their head towards them since it was a little louder than he wanted it to be. 

“Nice going, Parker,” MJ sighs, shaking her head. 

“Not like, up the fron-” Peter starts, then stops himself. He tries as hard as he can not to, but he blushes a deep red. “I mean, it was up the  _ back  _ of her shirt. It wasn’t...you know, um…” Peter tries to explain to the other customers, but the more he talks, the worse of a hole he digs himself. “Actually just...nevermind.”

“Probably best you stopped there before you had a heart attack,” MJ pats his back, and Ned’s just smiling at them, tilting his head proudly. “Jesus, Leeds, stop looking at us like that.”

“No way,” Ned sighs happily, and Peter just really, really wants to die. 

“It was a stupid, ridiculous mistake. We were drunk. As much as you want it to mean something, it doesn’t,” MJ replies confidently, and although Peter’s sad, he forces himself to nod in agreement. 

“Sure, sure, I believe you,” Ned laughs, shaking his head like it’s the most ridiculous statement he’s ever heard. MJ just lets out an annoyed breath, sinking down further into the seat. 

This is exactly what they  _ didn’t  _ want to happen - for different reasons, of course. MJ, because Ned knowing means constant, annoying jokes about them being a couple, which they’ve already gotten a fair share of just over this breakfast. And then Peter, because it’s absolute torture to see MJ rolling her eyes, annoyed at the mere thought of them being more than friends. And it’s painful to even joke about, because it feels like a hard, knock-you-out-of-your-seat slap from reality, which he had been hoping to avoid for as long as possible. 

But it could be worse, he knows. It could  _ always _ be worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys are big fans of his (so am I), so I'm trying to write Ned as accurately as possible, and I feel like this is exactly something he would do if he found out about them! Let me know what you think :)
> 
> (p.s. Just wanted to let you know that the story is winding up soon!)


	32. Visitation

After talking about Ned’s date and Ned teasing them a little more about what happened, they all say goodbye for the day. 

Or so Peter thinks. 

He and MJ are walking home the same way, but as soon as Ned’s out of sight, MJ stops and grabs his arm. 

“I was gonna go to the market and get some stuff, then head to the shelter,” she tells him, trying to play it off like it’s no big deal. “You could come if you wanted. I don’t care, just wanted to offer.”

“And you thought  _ I  _ was a bad liar,” he smiles knowingly at her, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. 

“What? I’m not lying,” she crosses her arms too, scoffing. “I’ve done this for almost two years - I think I can go a day without an annoying Peter Parker to pester me the entirety of it.”

And then she turns around and starts walking away without him. 

“Wait! I’m joking, I’m joking,” he laughs, catching up to her. “I’ll come.”

“Oh thank god, I think I would have just  _ died,”  _ she gushes, adding a fake gasp just for theatrics. 

“Okay, really, MJ? You’re doing exactly what you accused me of doing about the holding your hand thing,” he tells her, shaking his head with a laugh. “One extreme or the other - no inbetween. Either completely careless or uncomfortably fake with excitement.”

“Do you even have one original thought in that tiny little brain of yours, or is it just filled up with  _ my  _ observations?” She questions, narrowing her eyes. 

“Look, I’m just saying - I know you like to be alone sometimes, and that’s fine. But sometimes it’s nice to have company too, so I get it. You don’t have to act all…nonchalant about wanting your friend to come with you.” He shrugs, trying to be as nice as possible about it. 

“Well with that logic…does that mean you  _ did  _ want to hold my hand that time? Because when you say it like that…” she starts, tapping her chin thoughtfully. 

“Don’t make me bring up the kiss again,” he sighs, pretending like it’s the last thing he wants to talk about. Even though, in reality, it’s the very first. “You know, when  _ you  _ ki-”

“Shut up,” She nudges him, laughing. 

They walk to the market together, talking a little about breakfast, about Ned’s date and how happy they are for him, but...it’s sort of awkward. Peter thinks so, at least. He isn’t sure if it’s because of the kiss or what, but there’s some sort of weird atmosphere between them that he can’t seem to shake. 

“How do you have the money to get all of this stuff so often?” Peter asks, now carrying a bag full of grocery items on their way to the shelter. “Sorry If that’s a rude question to ask.”

“Kind of a long story, but apparently my grandma had a lot of money she didn’t feel the need to tell anyone about,” she tells him, slowing her long-legged strides so his short-legged strides can catch up to her. “So she left it to me and my mom. And it’s not like it’s millions of dollars or anything, but yeah. most of it’s put back for my college funds. A big portion of the rest paid off our mortgage and bills, then some for weekly groceries and lunch money. But I sort of kind of claimed my lunch is three dollars more than it is so I always eventually get a pretty good amount built up every few weeks or so.”

“Oh, that’s awesome,” he laughs a little, staring at her. He does this a lot, and he never means to, but she’s just so beautiful and mesmerizing that he’s sure it would be easier peeling his gaze away from the sun itself than it is trying to look away from her. 

“Stop staring it’s weirding me out,” she huffs, not even having to look over to know that’s what he’s doing. 

“What? I’m not. You just...have something in your hair,” he replies in a weak save, attempting to swipe an imaginary leaf from her hair. In the process, he feels how soft her curly hair is, and he wishes he could run his fingers through it without some made up excuse to do so. 

“Idiot,” she shakes her head, laughing a little as they finally approach the shelter door. She knocks a special knock, then opens the door for him, gesturing for him to go in. 

They’re welcomed with open arms once again, and Peter can’t help but smile from ear to ear. It’s such a warm and welcoming environment, that it would be impossible to leave here with a bad mood if you came in with one. 

“Happy late birthday, Ti,” Peter leans down a little to where she’s hanging off of MJ’s hip, and his fingers hold onto her little, tiny foot. “Sorry I missed it.”

She smiles, her thumb in her mouth, as she lays her head against MJ’s chest. 

They split up in groups and start playing card games for a while, all of them laughing and having an amazing time. He learned quickly that if he leans back just a  _ little bit  _ he can clearly see MJ across the room, talking and smiling and probably winning whatever game they’re playing over there. 

“Have you asked her?” Peter hears from his left, suddenly so startled that he jumps a little from his sitting position. He turns and sees the man playing next to him, a tired middle-aged man, looking at him with a huge smile. 

“Asked her what?” Peter gulps, obviously caught. Then he corrects himself quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean ask  _ who  _ what.”

“Michelle,” the man replies simply, still smiling knowingly. “Have you asked her if she feels the same way?”

“MJ? I don’t...I don’t feel anything for her,” Peter brushes it off, then plays his turn. Then, as he replies again, the man next to him plays  _ his  _ turn. “Only just, like, friend feelings, you know? That’s it.”

“I know what love looks like,” the man laughs, patting Peter’s back. “And you’ve got it bad. The worst I’ve seen in a long time, actually.”

Peter takes in a long breath so he can protest the accusations, but he lets out that same breath when he realizes he can’t. Or won’t. It’s just too ridiculous at this point, because he knows he’s probably about  _ one look away  _ from forming heart-shaped irises for MJ and MJ only. He’s sure everyone around him can tell that he’s in love, because he can’t help but radiate it off of himself. 

“You’re right,” Peter laughs embarrassedly, looking down at the floor. “But...she doesn’t feel that way for me. So I guess it doesn’t really matter.”

“I think you’re wrong,” the man sighs while Peter plays his turn, not really paying attention to the game much anymore. “She’s been glowing with happiness these past few months. She’s been humming and laughing, and none of us really knew why until  _ you  _ showed up a few weeks ago. It was easy to tell immediately then.”

“No, she just…” Peter looks at her, watching her squeeze Ti tightly in her arms, both of them laughing, “She has friends now. And she’s the team captain of the decathlon team. A lot of stuff has changed for her the past few months, you know?”

“Either you can keep telling yourself that’s what it is, or you can make a move before it’s too late,” the guy pats his back once more, laughing. “Your call, buddy.”

Peter exhales and slumps his shoulders, staring at MJ. She looks up a few moments later and sees him, her smile fading. They keep their intense gazes held like that a little longer, before someone nudges MJ to tell her it’s her turn, Peter assumes. Her smile comes back then as she talks and laughs and plays, and he smiles. But his smile is weak, sad, fragile, and full of love for her. 

-

“Ready?” Peter feels a tap on his shoulder an hour later, and turns around to see MJ there, pulling her jacket on. 

“Yeah, sure,” he stands up and brushes himself off, waving at everyone to tell them goodbye. MJ laughs as they all wave back, and she pulls the door open. 

“I really had such a great time,” he smiles down at the ground, walking alongside her. “I love all of them.”

“Me too,” she nods, pushing her hair back. 

They walk through the alleyway for a minute or two, almost to the end where it comes out at the road, before he stops. It takes her a second to realize, before she stops too. 

“Um, what the hell, Parker?” she asks him, setting her hands on her hips. 

“Can I ask you something?” he questions, and she raises an eyebrow as he walks closer so he can stand in front of her. Her back is facing the wall, only a few feet away from it, as she stares him down. 

“What’s this about?” she asks, as he pictures something in his mind that he still hasn’t quite figured out even after all of these months. 

“One of the first times I came to check on you here, whenever I was Spider-Man, I saw you...crying,” he forces out in a pained voice, swallowing thickly. “And I can’t imagine being that upset about something after coming out of a place so amazing. It’s been bugging me. I just want to know what it was if you’d let me.”

“So you were just perched up there, watching me cry? This is ridiculous, Parker,” she replies in humiliation, beginning to walk away from him with a bitter laugh. 

“No, MJ, wait,” he grabs her wrist gently, stopping her. “Please.”

She hesitates silently for a moment, before she drops her wrist and sighs. His fingers are still locked around it loosely, awkwardly, before he notices and pulls them away. 

“I just…” she starts, still looking at the ground. Then she breathes in, composes herself a little, and looks at him. “Ti...doesn’t have a family. One of them found her by herself, scared and alone. We got pretty close then while I took care of her, and she formed a really important bond with me. One day...that day, actually, when you saw me, she had...she had called me mommy. I know it’s stupid, but it absolutely and entirely broke me to pieces. I could barely hold it all in before I got outside because I was so goddamn  _ upset  _ and  _ angry  _ that all of that could happen to her, and that I couldn’t just take her home with me, and that I knew I couldn’t give her to an orphanage or foster family either, because it’s all a bunch of unjust and corrupt bullshit. God, Peter, I was heartbroken. It’s...better now, though. Since then a new family has come along, and the mother took her in practically as her own. We’re still close, but she doesn’t view me as...that anymore.”

Peter doesn’t reply immediately. He’s somewhat in shock, really, at everything she just told him. And now seeing her upset and heartbroken, makes him heartbroken, too. 

She takes that silence as something other than shock, though, and quickly tells him, “But it’s all stupid. I just had a bad day or whatever.”

“God, MJ, that’s not stupid,” he looks at her, clenching his jaw, so deeply in love with her that he feels a physical pain in his chest. “It’s not stupid at all.”

She looks down at the ground, unsure of what to say. He’s sure she’s never had many intimate conversations like this one, and it’s obvious that she’s trying to adjust her behavior accordingly. 

When she looks up, Peter’s speechless. He can’t form words.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she crosses her arms, looking him in the eyes in very apparent uncomfortability.

“Like what?” He asks as he gulps, having to part his lips now because his breath is getting heavy. Their eyes are locked, and Peter is clenching his fists at his side to keep himself from doing something stupid, something he knows he would regret. 

“Like…” she breathes out, then her voice falls flat and her eyes drop to the ground as she gives up what she was going to say. “I don’t know. Never mind.”

“Michelle,” he mutters her name out, stepping closer to her. He hasn’t called her that in what feels like forever, and she must have noticed that too, he realizes, because her face shows signs of something that could only be labelled as shock.

He sees his breath in the cold, crisp air, which is the same air that is making his throat dry and sore right now. But he isn’t thinking about that, because her eyes now look up to meet his, and she bites her lip a little, glancing down at his. Her chest is rising and falling at a quicker pace than normal, just like his is, and the air between them feels suffocating. 

Most of the time when he’s around her he keeps a somewhat clear head. But now, with her so close, with her looking at him like _that,_ he can’t even think about what he can’t think about. And after seeing the way she was last night, so handsy and fully aware of how easily she’s capable of turning him on, he feels like he could die right here. 

And right then, no matter how stupid and reckless it might be, he knows he has to kiss her. And so he does. 

He reaches up and slides his hand across her cheek, his palm against her cheekbone as the tips of his fingers just barely touch her hair. His other hand is on her suddenly limp arm, using it to pull her closer while he presses his lips against her. 

He lets out an audible sigh as soon as their lips make contact, and his eyes flutter closed, and every single thing in the world feels right in that moment. Her lips, the same ones he has been craving since last night, are soft and warm and wet and everything he has ever wanted them to be. 

“Jesus, Parker,” she pushes his chest, breathing out and looking at him like he’s crazy. “What the  _ hell  _ was that?!” 

“Oh God, MJ, I’m...I’m so sorry,” he runs his hand through his hair, apologizing profusely. “That was so wrong of me. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t-”

“Why? Why did you do that?” she asks him, her fists clasped at her sides in anger - or something else. 

“I don’t know,” he confesses, still unable to breath at all. “I r-”

“-Actually, I don’t care,” she interrupts with an exhale, her voice low as she walks towards him. He’s sure she’s going to punch him, so he backs up against the wall. Instead of raising her fist to hit him though, she raises her hand and pushes it through his hair, before her lips press hard into his. 

It takes a moment for him to realize what’s going on, but when he does, he shuts his eyes and puts his hands on her waist, roughly pulling her against him. She moans -  _ actually  _ moans - against his mouth, pulling at his hair forcefully between her fingers. Their lips are pressing messily against each others in a weird but amazing way, and his hands then settle on her hips, digging his fingers into them. 

He then uses some force - not  _ too  _ much, though - to turn and pin her to the wall now. Her back is pressed against the bricks, and both of them are panting relentlessly as he grabs her legs, picks her up, and she wraps them around his back tightly. He’s hoisting her up effortlessly, which makes being Spider-Man somehow seem even more amazing than it ever has before.

They continue to make out, having to take huge, wanting breaths between each sloppy kiss they press to each others lips. It’s not long before he feels her tongue in his mouth too, which makes what their doing go to an even higher level of intimacy. Their noses are bumping and he’s making a low, guttural sound against her lips that he never even knew he could make before. 

When he digs his fingers into the sides of her thighs, her head raises slightly in a moan, pulling their lips apart. He takes that opportunity to kiss her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, and that’s when he notices that her jacket sleeve, along with her shirt sleeve, have fallen down her shoulder slightly. He sees her black bra strap, and she’s moaning softly every single time he presses his mouth against the skin of her shoulder. 

Soon after that she yanks his head back with the fingers that are tangled in his hair, and begins to attack his mouth with hers again. One of her hands slide down from his hair to the back of his neck, where she sinks her nails into the skin there. He groans into her mouth, unsure of how much longer he can even do this. 

One of his hands slide into her hair, and right as he’s about to pull the ponytail holder from it...her phone starts ringing in her pocket. For a second it’s startling, like something so earthly didn’t fit in with such an  _ un _ earthly experience. 

“Oh God,” she gasps, and he sets her feet back down on the ground. She’s frantically searching through her pockets for her phone, her hands shaking as she finally finds it and presses the answer button. “Hello?” Her voice cracks. She clears her throat then, and gives another hello, now more normal-sounding. 

She turns away from Peter, who is now having to lean against the brick wall because his legs feel completely useless right now. His head is still spinning, and none of this feels real at all. 

MJ says a few words but not many, before she hangs up. 

“I have to go home,” she turns and tells Peter, both of them still shaky and unsure of what just happened. “Don’t follow me.”

She turns back around and practically  _ sprints  _ down the rest of the alleyway, then disappears, leaving Peter alone, still convinced he’s going to wake up from this dream any moment. 

He doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...............................................................
> 
>  
> 
> That's all I have to say.


	33. Company Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys are getting frustrated about the characters blowing it off and vowing to pretend it never happened, but I'm trying to keep it as in tune with the characters as I can, and I personally feel that they would do just that. With that being said, you don't have to be rude with the way you convey those feelings, please! I'm trying my best :)

“Ned?” Peter’s voice cracks slightly as Ned answers his phone, wiping his nose with a tissue. His eyes are practically swollen shut now as he presses his back against the wall beside his bed. 

“Dude, what’s wrong?” Ned asks into the phone, obviously worried. “Is everything okay?”

“Can you just come over, please?” Peter cries quietly, leaning over and pressing  his forehead against his fist. 

“Yeah. Yeah, of course, I’m on the way,” Ned tells him in concern, and they say their goodbyes before hanging up. So Peter waits then, trying to keep his head on straight, trying not to think about everything going on. 

The kiss - well, the making out, more like - was amazing. Like life-changingly amazing, really, but he knows that the only thing it did was complicate their relationship even more. Are they just friends that are attracted to each other so they make out every once in awhile? That’s not what he wants at all. Sure, it was nice, but he would rather it have not happened at all if it only just gives him hope where there is none. It’s just extremely hard, and his stomach is turning, and he doesn’t know what to do.

And then there’s their friendship. Will it be weird between them from now on? Will she just pretend nothing happened out of embarrassment, so they won’t speak about it? He hates either choice. In all honestly, he hates  _ every  _ outcome that doesn’t involve them getting together.

Twenty minutes later Peter hears a knock at the door, and he opens it to see an out-of-breath Ned leaning forward and resting his hands on his knees so he can catch his breath. Peter can’t help but smile a little at the thought of Ned running here just to help him. 

“Peter!” Ned looks up at him, his eyebrows furrowing in worry. “What’s wrong?”

“Come here,” Peter sighs, blinking his swollen eyes as he leads Ned to his room. 

When they both sit down, and when Peter finally finds some courage, he looks up at Ned and starts. 

“After breakfast this morning we went to the shelter,” he begins, already feeling tears well up in his eyes again as he relives it aloud. “And it was great and we had fun and all, but when we left and we walked down the alley, I...I kissed her. I kissed MJ.”

Ned audibly gasps, and then slaps a hand over his open mouth, muttering “sorry.”

“Then she pushed me off and she looked so...angry with me. So I apologized, like, a thousand times, but she interrupted me. By pushing me against the wall and kissing me.” Peter finishes, and Ned gasps  _ again,  _ and then, like clockwork, whispers “sorry.”

“We were full on making out then, and like grabbing each other and there was definitely some...you know, hands-on action. But then, in the middle of it, she got a call from her mom and told me she had to go home, and not to follow her. And it was all over like that.” Peter gulps, his head throbbing as more tears form in his eyes. 

“I promise I’m trying to be as sympathetic as I can because I know you’re upset, but...am I missing something? I thought making out with MJ was a good thing?” Ned asks, tilting his head in confusion. 

“God, it is. And it  _ was  _ a good thing. A very good thing. Until I realized how messed up it’s going to make things for us,” Peter puts his face in his hands, sighing. “You know how MJ is. She doesn’t want to admit she has, like, feelings or attraction or  _ anything  _ of that nature. And since this is the first time we  _ really  _ kissed without an excuse - like truth or dare, proving Flash wrong, or because we were drunk- we’re both going to have to face it and do something about it. Like...talk about it. But I don’t think MJ will do that, you know? I think she’ll just pretend like it never happened, and...God, I don’t know what to do. I just feel awful, Ned.”

“Maybe you need to make her confront it by talking to her,” Ned suggests, shrugging his shoulders. “She can’t run from it that way. Just be really...adult about it, and tell her that it’s something that needs to be talked about and not ignored anymore.”

“Yeah, but what from there? I don’t want to tell her how I feel and ruin our friendship, but I also don’t want us both to come to the conclusion that we should just drop it and forget about it. I know that’s what will happen if we “talk” about it.” Peter falls back on his bed with a huff, laying his hand over his chest. “I just can’t do that  _ again,  _ Ned. I just can’t.”

“Well maybe...maybe it’s time,” Ned replies seriously, looking down at Peter. 

“Time for what?” Peter asks, although he’s fairly certain he knows what he’s talking about.

“Time to tell her how you feel,” Ned sighs, patting Peter’s leg. 

“Ned, I can’t,” Peter gulps, sitting up on his elbows. “You know I can’t.”

“This is what I know, Peter: you won’t tell her your feelings because it would jeopardize your friendship, right?” Ned asks, looking at him for confirmation. Peter nods. “Well while you’re so worried about that, you even haven’t noticed that it’s being jeopardized right in front of your eyes already because of the fact that you  _ won’t  _ tell her. Honestly, Peter, you guys’ friendship is going to go to shit anyway because both of you keep spontaneously making out with each other and then pretend it never happened. “Friends” don’t do that, okay? They just don’t. It’s going to destroy whatever friendship you have if one of you don’t do anything about it. And I think we both know MJ won’t isn’t going to be the one to bring it up.”

“This is so shitty,” Peter exhales, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “This is so, so, so shitty.”

“I know it is,” Ned pats him on the back supportively them, shrugging. “I’m sorry, dude.”

“I mean, I guess I don’t really have that much of a choice anymore, do I?” Peter looks at Ned, upset. “Well, being her friend was definitely good while it lasted.”

“Come on, don’t talk like that,” Ned tells him, laughing a little. “You never know - maybe she likes you too.”

“Yeah, right,” Peter laughs himself then, the mere thought of her reciprocating feelings  _ actually  _ seeming comical right now. “But...she has to know I like her by now, right?  _ Like,  _ like her? I mean...she knew I was Spider-Man for months and didn’t say anything. Oh God, that’s kind of embarrassing when I think about it. What if she  _ does  _ know?”

“So what if she does? She’s kissed you, what, three, four times now? She wouldn’t have kissed you if she just  _ didn’t  _ want to. Seriously, Peter, I wish you could see this from literally  _ anyone  _ else’s perspective. It’s obvious that she likes you back.” Ned sighs, as if exhausted. 

“Ned, you see the way she talks to me and looks at me and...she just can’t,” Peter replies, looking down at his hands sadly. “There’s no way. None at all. Maybe she just doesn’t like people in a romantic way, you know? She doesn’t seem like she would. Especially not with me.”

“Shut up,” Ned lightly slaps the side of Peter’s head, sighing. “Stop being such a freakin’ downer, Peter, seriously. Just talk to her. Take some time, think about what you’re going to say, and then talk to her. Okay?”

“God, okay,” Peter runs his fingers through his hair, thinking back to when it was MJ’s fingers, not his. “I’ll talk to her. Will you stay tonight, though? I don’t wanna be alone, I guess.”

“Yeah, of course,” Ned pats Peter’s back, giving an encouraging smile. 

They try to stay on different topics than MJ for the rest of the night. Peter’s too confused and upset to talk about it anymore, anyway. 

They watch a few more of the Harry Potter movies that they never finished and talk about Betty simultaneously, and when Ned falls asleep, Peter wakes him up and takes him to his room, both of them laying on the floor. Except Peter stays awake, once again staring at the ceiling while he relives his day over and over and over again, sad and wishing he knew what MJ was thinking right now, too. 

Ned leaves at around lunch time Sunday because his mom calls, and so Peter is left there with his thoughts. Which, in reality, really sucks. 

He forces himself to sit down on his bed and think about what he should talk to her about. Should he follow Ned’s advice and tell her how he feels? Or should he wait and see how she acts about it? Should he-

He stops his thoughts then, because his phone buzzes. He grabs it and looks at the text, seeing it’s from MJ. His heart starts pounding instantly.

“I’m coming over,” it reads, and Peter gulps, “We need to talk.”

His nerves feel extremely jumpy now, because he wasn’t expecting this at all.  _ At all.  _ In fact, in every scenario he diligently thought out in his head, he never even once considered this as an option. What will she even say? 

“Okay,” Peter texts her back then, unable to say anything else, or ask any other questions. He feels so in confused that he’s frozen in fear, and in complete shock, too. 

He paces his room in nervousness, quickly trying to process any sort of information or accusation he might have to deal within the next half hour. He thinks he hears the door a few times, but every time he goes to check, he realizes it was most definitely all in his head. 

Then, a few minutes later, he  _ actually  _ hears someone knocking on the door. 

“Hey,” he opens it, forcing his best fake smile and shoving his hands in his pockets. Her expression is deadpan, like always. Not upset, sad, happy, angry -- nothing. “We can go in my room.”

She nods and follows him wordlessly, setting her book bag down on the kitchen counter as they pass through. His nerves are building every second they spend in silence. 

“So...you wanted to talk?” Peter swallows thickly, turning around in the middle of his room to look at her. 

“Is May home?” MJ looks at him, uttering the first words he’s heard her speak today.

“No, she went to her yoga class about an hour ago,” He tells her, the awkward air between them becoming unbearable. “So-”

Before he can finish his words, or even his  _ thoughts,  _ MJ has her hands on his face, and she’s kissing him. She throws her arms around his neck, but Peter is still frozen in complete and undeniable shock. 

“You going to kiss me back or what?” MJ pulls away for a moment, looking at him incredulously. He nods, unable to speak  _ actual  _ words, and then she laughs a little before kissing him again. This time he reciprocates. 

They’re walking backwards as they kiss, until the backs of Peter’s legs bump the edge of the bed, making him fall back on it. MJ crawls on top of him, straddling his waist as their kissing becomes feverish. Peter reaches up, and finally gets to tangle his hands in her soft, messy curls. 

“Take this off,” she breathes out in desperation, tugging at the hem of his sweater. He nods, sitting up for a moment as MJ pulls it off of him and blindly tosses it on the floor. 

They sit there for a moment, MJ’s eyes scanning over every single inch of his chest, both of them breathing heavily. 

“I hate your stupid muscles,” MJ groans in annoyance at herself for being attracted to them, before pushing him back down and kissing him again. This time her hands are running across the skin of his chest gently, and he can’t help but think that  _ she’s  _ now the one feeling  _ him  _ up. His arms wrap tightly around her, and he relaxes against the bed as his hands run up her back slowly. 

“Are you going to take mine off too or do I have to myself?” she breathes out hotly against his mouth, before breaking away. He sits up on his elbows, lightheaded, as he looks up at her.

“I mean...is that okay? If I do that?” He blushes then, and she nods at him, smiling a little. 

“Okay,” he breathes out, gulping. He reaches up and grabs the bottom of her shirt, takes in a long breath, and then pulls it up and over her head. She’s wearing a grey bralette, and his heart is pounding in his ears. He looks up in her eyes, smiling a little out of nervousness. 

He’s pretty sure every single person who has ever had a crush has imagined at least  _ one  _ time that the person they liked would come bursting in their room, kissing them. But for it to actually happen to  _ him  _ makes him feel like the luckiest person in the entire world. 

“You’re beautiful,” he tells her, still completely caught up in the moment. This doesn’t even feel real. 

“Yeah, yeah, let’s save the sap for a later time,” she laughs quietly, before leaning down to press her swollen lips to his again. 

His hands ghost over the strap of her bra, but he doesn’t dare do anything else besides let his fingers run over it in admiration. 

Before he even realizes what’s happening, she’s kissing his jaw, and neck, and chest, and his fingers are grasping (and ripping) at the blanket on his bed. His thoughts are cloudy and euphorically unprocessable, before she starts unbuttoning his pants. 

He sits up quickly then, like it had finally awoken him from his reverie and said  _ this is real, this is happening.  _

“Oh, God,” Peter’s hand flies up to press against his forehead, and he swallows thickly in sudden confusion. 

“What?” MJ sits up, knitting her brows together in confusion, too. “Forgot you left the oven on?”

“No. No, we can’t do this.” Peter mumbles out, blinking hard. “We have to stop.”

“Why?” she asks, now sitting down beside him on the bed. Both of their chest’s are rising and falling heavily, though out of sync with one another.

“It just...it means completely different things to us,” he breathes out, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “For you, it’s only fun and games, nothing else. But for me…” he looks up at her, in her eyes, feeling tears in his own. 

“What’s wrong with you?” MJ grabs his shoulders, suddenly worried she might have to take him to the emergency room. “Seriously, Parker, you’re scaring me.”

“Nothing’s wrong, it’s…” He pauses and gulps, pressing his thumb aggressively into his palm to distract himself. He doesn’t know if it’s the kissing and touching that’s making him act so idiotically, or if it’s just the universe telling him that it’s finally time. Either way, he finally utters the words he’s been trying to tell her for the past few months, the ones that have been weighing on his heart, the ones that have circulated in his head since the first time he saw her in the homeless shelter. “I just...I love you, MJ. I’m in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Peter!! You go!


	34. Denial

“Jesus, Peter, you almost got me there,” MJ laughs out, shaking her head. Then she leans in to kiss him again, but he stops her, his hand pressing into her shoulder as to say  _ this isn’t a joke _ . 

“I’m...I’m serious, MJ. I have feelings for you, as more than a friend. That’s not really very accurate, actually, and it doesn’t really do my feelings justice. It’s more like...I love you. I love you so, so much,” he tells her, as he grabs her hands in his. She looks down at their intertwined hands for a moment, taking it in, before wrenching them away and out of his. “I have for a long time.”

“No, you don’t,” she replies sternly, seeming to suddenly realize this isn’t some joke he and Ned must have conjured up to prank her with. “You don’t, Peter.”

“How could you even know?” He furrows his eyebrows, hurt. “I do love you, okay? You don’t get to decide that.”

“You don’t...God, you don’t even know me,” she stands up, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead. She’s grabbing her shirt now and pulling it over her head quickly. “You can’t like - let alone  _ love  _ \- someone you don’t know. You just can’t. I’m leaving.”

“You’re going to leave now? Right now?” He looks at her, swallowing thickly as he tries to wordlessly convey the sadness he feels right now. “I know you, MJ. I know that you have a hard, mean, sarcastic exterior, but you’re the most loving and compassionate person I’ve ever met. I know your heart is huge, whether you decide to show it to people or not. And I also know that you’ve shown it to me, even if you didn’t want to, or didn’t mean to, and that’s what made me fall in love with you in the first place.”

She looks at him, in his eyes, clenching her jaw in a way that he can’t decipher quite yet. He thinks it’s anger. Still, though, she stays silent.

“Please, MJ,” he pleads sadly, desperately, standing up to face her eye-to-eye. “I love you, I love everything about you. I don’t want to ruin what we have as friends, but I...I can’t hold this in anymore. It hurts too much, and I just...I can’t do it. I wish I could, for our sake, because I know you don’t feel that way for me, but it hasn’t worked and it’s killing me. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing for...for the way you feel,” she replies angrily, tearing her eyes away from his, clenching her fists at her sides. 

“I’ve had feelings for you ever since the first time I saw you at the shelter,” he breathes out, his throat feeling tight. “I saw how you treated them, how much you loved them, and...it made me love  _ you.” _

“I’m gonna go, okay? I don’t even know what to say right now, and I...I can’t deal with this cheesy romance movie bullshit. I just have to...think things over. Bye, Peter.” She pulls on a jacket, then walks out without another word. At the same time she walks through his doorway, he hears May open the front door. 

“Hey, sweetie, I thought we could do Indian food tonight and talk about what you’ve been so upset about all d-” May yells across the apartment, and then stops abruptly. Peter puts his face in his hands. “Oh, MJ, I didn’t realize you were here.”

“Actually, May, I have to go,” MJ tells her quietly, probably not wanting Peter to overhear their conversation. “I’m sorry. Bye.”

And then Peter hears the door open and close again, and he has a massive lump in his throat. 

“Peter?” he hears May’s soft, gentle voice from his doorway, but he can’t find the confidence to look up at her. “Honey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

He has to hold back from bursting into tears, which is what he really, really wants to do right now. 

After not hearing him reply, May asks, “do you want to talk about it?”

“Not now,” he forces out a mutter, trying to sound as gentle as possible. He doesn’t want to hurt May’s feelings, but he isn’t sure he even  _ could  _ talk about it if he wanted to. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she replies, sighing sadly. “I’ll be here if you feel you need to talk, okay? And for anything you need.”

“Thanks,” he finally looks up at her, tears falling from his eyes as he blinks. 

“Love you, sweetie,” she smiles at him worriedly, and then closes his door. 

He lays back on his bed, his hands over his face as he sobs quietly. He feels sad, and confused, and hopeless. 

Okay, he was almost one hundred percent sure she didn’t like him back anyway, but there was still that teeny, tiny, chance that  _ maybe  _ she did. And that thought felt so good that he dwelled on it, hoping that if he thought about it enough he could wish it into existence. But it very apparently didn’t work.

He understands where she’s coming from, too; he can’t imagine someone - especially a friend - springing something like that on him so randomly and out of nowhere, especially if he didn’t feel that way for them. It must have been awful for her, so he completely gets why she reacted the way she did. But it’s still extremely painful nonetheless. 

To be truthful, he’s still a little shocked that she hadn’t known his feelings for her before he told her. He didn’t do much to hide it well, really, because he hid being Spider-Man much more than that and she  _ still  _ knew. 

He lays in bed, his eyes swollen, and thinks about everything. Although he regrets telling her and ruining things between them, there’s still a huge weight lifted off of his shoulders in relief that he doesn’t need to lie and keep this secret inside anymore. 

He feels his temples throbbing with the sort of dull ache that can only come from crying. That sad, empty, painful ache that he never misses in its absence. 

He’s been laying there for an hour - maybe two, he isn’t sure - when he starts smelling something amazing coming from the kitchen. He fights the urge to just lay in bed and be sullen for the rest of the night - and week - but he forces himself to get up anyway. 

When he opens the door, he sees May using oven mitts to waft the smell of warm apple pie in from the kitchen. 

“Oh, Peter!” She laughs as she notices him, hiding the oven mitt behind her back. She was obviously trying to lure him in with his favorite dessert, and it worked. “I made you some apple pie. I’m not sure if you’re ready to eat it just yet, but I wanted to make you feel better.”

“Thanks, May,” he gives a small smile, wrapping his arms around her in a tight, thankful hug. She squeezes back, kissing his forehead. 

“Of course,” she tells him softly, and then they walk to the kitchen. “How big of a slice? You can have as much as you want.”

“Just a small piece is fine,” he laughs a little, sitting down into a chair. “You don’t have to be so nice, you know. I’m okay.”

“Well, it just worries me when you’re upset,” she sighs, sliding his plate and fork across the table for him. The apple pie steams in front of him, but he looks up at May instead of digging in. “And when I saw MJ walking out…” she stops, trying to find the right words. “I just wanted to brighten your mood a little, is all.”

“Thanks,” he reaches over, setting his hand on top of hers. 

“You can talk about it when you’re ready, okay?” She smiles, squeezing his hand. “You don’t have t-”

“- I told MJ I liked her,” Peter blurts out, running his words together quickly, nervously. 

“You...you did?” May looks at him intently, pure shock on her face. “So...I’m guessing it didn’t go very well, then.”

“Yeah, it didn’t,” Peter sighs, breathing in deeply. “A few...incidents happened. Incidents meaning we kissed. Or whatever, you know. And, um, I don’t know, it felt like we were getting...a lot more serious, in that sense, than I was ready for.”

“You did read the book I gave you, right?” May looks at him, her eyes wide. 

“Yeah, I did,” he laughs, reassuring her. “But it didn’t go  _ that  _ far, not even close. So...we’re good. You don’t have to worry about it.”

“Okay, that’s reassuring,” she laughs too, breathing a sigh of relief. “So what happened then?”

“She...she didn’t take it well,” he looks down at his plate, breathing in. “She sort of freaked out, you know. I don’t really blame her, but…yeah. We didn’t really part on good terms.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” May squeezes his hand, her eyebrows furrowed in sadness for him. “What do you think's going to happen?”

“Honestly? I have no idea,” Peter slips his hand from hers, using it to grab his fork and slowly stab into his pie. “I can’t...I can never predict her, you know? I think she’s going to do one thing, and she does something completely different, something I would have never even  _ thought  _ of. Like I’ve thought about it, and I’m not sure if she’s going to ignore me, pretend nothing happened, or what. She’ll probably never even talk to me again, honestly.”

“Don’t say that,” May sighs, propping her chin on her fist. “Maybe she just needed some space and some time to think things over. It was pretty sudden from what I gather, so it’s not a surprise that she didn’t know how to react immediately.”

“I know,” he nods, finally taking a bite of the pie. “I know. It’s just hard not knowing what’s going to happen, you know? Like I’m just scared to go into school tomorrow not knowing what to expect, or what to say, or how to act. It’s just nerve-wracking.”

“I understand,” May replies supportively, and Peter looks up at her and sighs. “I know it’s annoying to hear, but if it’s supposed to happen, it will. If it’s not, then it won’t. Either way I’m proud of you for being true to your feelings and telling her. It was very brave of you.”

“Thanks, May,” he finally smiles, taking in a long, deep breath. “I guess I’ll see what’s going to happen tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll at least still have her as a friend.”

* * *

“Oh shit, dude, I’m sorry,” Ned sighs, sitting next to Peter on a bench in front of the school. Peter had asked him to come ten minutes early so that he could explain his current situation to him before they saw her. He still has no idea what to expect. “If I would have known I wouldn’t have, you know, told you to do that.”

“No, it’s okay, I’m...I’m sort of glad I did anyway. I mean, it sucks, but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. I just hope she knows that I can still be her friend without things being weird, you know? She doesn’t have those feelings for me, and I’ll definitely respect that.” Peter explains, swallowing thickly. “I just feel like she’s freaked out about it, which...I get. It sucks, but I get it.”

“Do you think she’ll even be here today?” Ned asks, looking around the students that are funneling in the school as if she’s  _ actually  _ somewhere in the crowd.

“I don’t know,” Peter shrugs his shoulders helplessly, letting out a long breath. “I don’t know anything.”

* * *

“So she is here? Are you sure it wasn’t someone else?” Peter asks, chewing his lip nervously as he taps his foot against the floor. He’s looking around the cafeteria frantically, searching for her everywhere. 

“Definitely,” Ned tells him, taking a bite of his pizza. “She gave me that mean look she always gives me. Completely unmistakeable.”

“Oh God. Oh God, there she is,” Peter looks away quickly, not wanting to make eye contact. It’s way too weird right now. “Is she coming over here?”

“Uh…” Ned whispers, trying to get a look. He waits for a moment, and Peter feels like he’s dying from the anticipation. “Yeah, she is.”

“Oh God,” Peter gulps, pushing his hair back. He feels shaky and nervous. 

He’s expecting her to either just walk away and ignore them completely, or sit down and ignore them completely. But she walks up, and clears her throat until he looks at her. 

“Meet me at Sweetleaf at five fifteen,” she tells Peter, and he gulps, blushing as they stare at each other. He feels so vulnerable after spilling his feelings that way, and having to face her after it. “We have to talk.”

“Okay,” he nods, his eyes wide. “I’ll be there.”

She looks at him for a moment, visibly swallowing, before turning and walking away without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think she's going to say??


	35. Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is technically the last chapter!!! I'm in the process of writing an epilogue though, which will probably be a month or so time jump. So stick around :)

For the first time since they’ve started hanging out, Peter isn’t the first one to arrive at the coffee shop. When he walks in, his palms sweating nervously as he shoves them in his pockets, he sees MJ there at a table, the same table they were at the first time they met here for a study date. She’s staring out the window, anxiously tapping her foot against the floor, waiting for him.

As soon as he walks through the door, her head turns, and they look at each other. Peter stops then, even though he doesn’t mean to. Her stare is so intense, so full of _something_ that he can’t quite pinpoint, that it’s not until at _least_ fifteen seconds later that he can move his legs. And, by the way, that fifteen seconds felt like eternity.

He walks up to the table and sits down across from her, breathing in. He decides to be the one to talk first, because she doesn’t seem like she’s going to make an effort any time soon.

“Hey,” he says quietly, glancing up at her. He can hardly breathe. She lets out a long, uneven sigh, as she looks up at him, too.

“Look, Parker, I...know that this is extremely awkward for both of us. Especially since you, you know, spilled all of your deep  and gushy feelings for me and all that. It’s weird, I get it. But we have to face it sometime, and I feel bad for what happened yesterday.” she pours out, her words running together quickly from nerves.

“What do you want to talk about?” He asks timidly, unsure of how to approach the topic. He wishes he could just bolt, because having to maintain eye contact with her right now is about to kill him.

“I just...wish I had handled yesterday better,” she breathes out, tucking her bangs back. “I didn’t mean to come off the way that I did. But you have to understand that what you said...it surprised me. I didn’t know how to react at all, and I was just sort of freaked out.”

“You were surprised?” he laughs out, running his fingers through his hair and sitting back in his seat. “I didn’t exactly try and hide my feelings very hard. I thought...I thought at least a small part of you knew I liked you. You seem to have picked up on everything _except_ the most obvious one.”

“Why was it so obvious, Peter? Really, tell me.” She looks at him and narrows her eyes, already getting an annoyed tone.

“Jesus, MJ, I know you noticed the way I looked at you. Like you were the only thing in the entire world. I tried not to, but I couldn’t help it. You’re so amazing and...I don’t know. The way I acted around you? Did you not see how freaking stupid I was? It’s because I couldn’t think or speak or do anything around you because I like you _that_ much.” he gulps, spilling his feelings once again.

There’s a short silence, like MJ isn’t sure how to respond to that at all.

“I just thought you were a weirdo, that’s all,” she replies quietly, turning to look out the window. “I just don’t know what to say to you, Parker. I really don’t.”

“I want to know how you feel about me, MJ,” he breathes out, trying to pull himself together. “Whether it’s good, bad, or what. It’s not going to change the way I feel about you, but it isn’t going to change the way I treat you, either. If you don’t like me, I still want to be your friend. If you want that, too.”

“I’ve been...contemplating my feelings for you. God, I’m gonna gag just saying that out loud,” she laughs, and he notices her hand shaking slightly as she sets it flat on the table. “I’ve never had friends, so I’m not fully sure which of these feelings are only friend feelings or, you know, more than that feelings. I’ve been thinking all day and night, trying to pinpoint what means what, and...I can’t. I wish I could figure it out, but I’m...I’m not sure. One thing I was really, really trying to consider was the difference between how I feel about you, and how I feel about Ned. It doesn’t feel the same. I know we’re closer than me and Ned are, but...it stuck with me for some reason. God, I know I’m saying a ridiculous jumble of nonsense, but I want to figure this out. I’ve never...had a crush or anything. I’ve never cared about that stuff at all, and I was content being alone. But then _you_ come along, and…” she stops, and Peter holds his breath. “Can you help me figure it out?”

“Help you figure out...how you feel about me? Doesn’t that seem...strange?” he looks at her, confused.

“I’m not good at this, Peter, but I’m trying,” she breathes out, like she’d been holding it in, too. “And trust me, this is really not what I want to be doing. It’s embarrassing, and humiliating, and anything that’s even a _little_ cutesy makes me want to barf up the entire contents of my stomach. But after you were so brave about how you felt yesterday, I...want to try to. I’ve read hundreds of books with love and crushes and all of that, but I always just felt indifferent to it, like I couldn’t experience it. But yesterday you seemed shocked I didn’t know, and I really want to know what you think about this. All of this, and what you think I might feel. I’m just confused about everything, and I know that you can maybe help.”

“Okay,” he nods, none of this being as he pictured it. But then again, there’s nothing about MJ that can be predicted. “Let’s start with the most basic, primal feeling when you have a crush: butterflies. Do you get nervous when you’re around me? Or even at the thought of seeing me?”

“Me? Nervous about _you?_ Pssht,” she waves him off, rolling her eyes. “Okay, sorry, that’s sort of like an automatic reaction. I’m going to take this seriously. To, um, answer your question, I...guess? Maybe? Does it feel like when you’re leaning back in a chair and it tips over a little _too_ much and it feels like you’re falling? Because if so, then...yeah.”

“Michelle Jones is nervous around Peter Parker?” He jokes, even though his heart is pounding so hard in his chest that he can hardly breathe.

“Don’t make this worse than it already is,” she kicks his leg under the table, laughing in humiliation. A moment later her smile fades, and she turns to a more serious tone. “Another thing...I know it was just truth or dare and everything, but...I guess I did want to kiss you. A lot. Like an overwhelming amount, which I had never, ever experienced before. Then after it happened, I tried to act so cool and calm and collected about it, but God, I wanted to do it again so badly. I was freaked out about my own feelings, and _why_ I could possibly want to swap spit with some dorky stalker. After that I started seeing you differently. I noticed little things you do - like the way you push your hair back every time you’re annoyed, or how _well_ you treat May, or how...God, how good-looking you are under all of those stupid grandpa sweaters you’re always wearing.”

He stays silent, but everything around him seems completely surreal. Is this a dream?

“And when Flash started making fun of us being together or whatever, I saw that as a chance to kiss you again, to see if those feelings I had the first time were real. Because honestly, I wanted to do it again. Really, really badly, no matter how careless I acted,” she forces out, and Peter knows it’s paining her to say all of this. “And then there’s the star-gazing night. That stupid, goddamn night. When you told me Ned wasn’t coming, I regretted not just telling you to go home, that we’d do it some other night. I was scared of us being alone, and drinking, and sitting under the stars, and all of that mixed with the fact that I wasn’t even sure about how I felt yet. Especially the alcohol part though, since I...sort of acted like an idiot, as we both know. And then when we laid down, and your hand was on my back…”

“I’m glad you kissed me,” he mutters, reaching out and setting his hand on hers. “I know I teased you about it, but...if you hadn’t made the move, I definitely would have.”

Her shoulders seem to relax at that, like she’s glad she didn’t have to be the one to say it.

“And then...the alley,” she looks down at their hands, taking in a long breath. “That was the first time I let myself do what I wanted. I didn’t hold myself back, and I didn’t make up any excuses for what I was doing. It felt _good_ and _right_ even though it was in a disgusting, murky alleyway. It felt completely natural, and that’s _especially_ weird since I’ve never even thought about sex much at all until I wanted to do it so badly with you.”

Peter’s jaw practically drops, but MJ seems unfazed completely at the fact that probably everyone around could hear her say that. So he blushes enough for the two of them as she continues.  

“By then, I wasn’t really thinking at all about feelings; it was more of the attraction factor that really made me go insane. And yeah, there’s no need to tease me about it, because I’m admitting it openly now apparently: I’m attracted to you.” She looks at him dead in the eyes, sighing. “It’s whatever.”

“If it helps, I’m attracted to you, too,” he swallows thickly, smiling shyly at her. “But I’m pretty sure you already knew that.”

“I did somewhat, but it’s still nice to hear,” her lips quirk up at one side, and he lets out a breathy laugh. “I guess these butterflies, and attraction, and sort of wanting to see you a lot makes this a crush, doesn’t it?”

“God, I hope so,” he smiles at her, and grabs both of her hands in his. She looks down at them uncomfortably for a moment, like she wants to pull away, before she relaxes and holds his back, too. The butterflies are going crazy in his stomach.

“Then I guess that makes you my...boyfriend,” she forces out the word, and he smiles at the fact that she’s _trying_ for him, at least.

“Then I guess that makes you my girlfriend,” he squeezes her hands, so happy that he really feels like crying.

“No mushy stuff, okay? I know that’s like, ninety-five percent of your personality, but this is going to take some getting used to before you pull some Nicholas Sparks novel BS on me.” She laughs, but her voice is shaky like she’s uncontrollably happy, too.

“Can’t make any promises,” he laughs, and she shakes her head, laughing too. “I’m really happy, MJ.”

“As disgusting as it is,” she looks at him, tilting her head slightly, “I guess I am too, Parker.”

* * *

After spending another hour or so in the coffee shop talking about _why_ MJ bursted in his room and made out with him, and _why_ he really asked her to tutor him, they order some warm to-go coffees and walk home side-by-side.

“Is it okay if I, you know, hold your hand?” Peter asks, glancing over at her nervously. She looks at him, gulps, and tangles their fingers together herself. Her hand is warm and soft and a bit sweaty, and he couldn’t be happier even if he won the lottery right now.

They walk the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, Peter occasionally squeezing her hand happily, like he can’t believe it.

“This is my stop,” Peter looks up at his apartment building, their hands parting now. “Unless you want me to walk you home, which I don’t mind doing.”

“No, it’s fine,” she waves him off, shoving her hands in her pockets. “So...what do girlfriends and boyfriends do at this point?”

“You’re the one who has read every single book out there; you tell me,” he laughs, and she smiles slightly, almost _shyly,_ as she rolls her eyes.

It’s a bit awkward between them, because neither of them has done this before at all; much less with someone they really, really like. It’s nerve-wracking, but in an amazing way that both are excited to experience together.

She steps forward, looking at him, both of them laughing awkwardly, before she kisses him. He smiles into it, setting his hand on her arm comfortably.

“I _think_ they do that,” MJ pulls away a moment later, brushing her hair out of her face nervously. “Mark your calendar, Parker, that’s our first kiss as an official couple.”

“You _like_ me,” Peter teases, a huge, dorky grin spreading across his face.

“Shut up, Peter,” she crosses her arms, laughing in embarrassment.

 _“Michelle Jones_ likes _Peter Parker,”_ he sighs contently, and she laughs and rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” she shrugs, giving in with a light laugh. They stand there looking at each other with nervous eye contact, before she breaks the silence. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he nods, leaning in to kiss her cheek. He pulls away, but she brings him back and kisses him on the lips again, just because she can. When they part, his head feels dizzy and light, like he could easily fall over.

“Okay, goodnight,” she tells him with a laugh, and starts slowly walking backwards.

“Goodnight,” he nods, unable to stop smiling as he forces himself to turn around and walk towards his building. They keep glancing back at each other with shy smiles, but right as he’s about to open the door and go inside, he hears her ask, “Peter?”

“Yeah?” he turns around, furrowing his eyebrows as she anxiously adjusts her jacket.

“Don’t say anything after I tell you this, okay? Just walk inside your apartment and...and do whatever you were going to do before I said it,” she gulps, and he nods hesitantly. “I just...I, um, think I love you too.”

He opens his mouth to say something, his heart pounding, but she jogs away, yelling, “Okay, bye!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed this!! Don't forget the epilogue will be coming in a few days :)


	36. Epilogue

“So how long do we have?” MJ smiles as she walks into Peter’s apartment, tossing her bag on the table beside him and his homework.

She’s wearing a red sweater, with a green button-up underneath. Although it’s supposed to be mandatory to come to a Parker Christmas get together with an “ugly” Christmas sweater, he’s sure Aunt May will give her a pass. Especially since Peter himself is shocked that she even showed up in Christmas-themed attire at all.

“Only ten minutes tops,” he grins up at her from the dining chair he’s sitting in, and she throws her legs over his, straddling him and putting her arms over his shoulders.

“That’s enough time,” she raises an eyebrow, and he grins and pulls her into him, kissing her. He wraps his arms around her waist, and she has her palms placed on his face, kissing him harder.  

The day after they decided to officially be a couple, they went out on an _actual_ date. It was a little strange at first, but it was nice, and fun, and Peter had the time of his life.

Ned, of course, freaked out when MJ and Peter approached him outside of the school, hand-in-hand. They told May, too, who had tears in her eyes out of happiness for them.

Things started to get easier for them, too. The longer time they spent together, the more they kissed, the more they held hands, and it felt more and more effortless, like it’s what was supposed to happen all along.

“Love the sweater, by the way. That Santa head is extremely sexy; especially overlaying the dark green background. It brings out his eyes.” MJ mutters against his lips, and he laughs breathlessly, his hands sliding up her back, beneath her sweater.

“Yeah? That red and green combo you’re wearing is really getting me going, too,” He laughs, trying to catch his breath between kisses.

“Table,” she sighs against his mouth, so he picks her up and sets her down on it, both of their hearts racing already.

He stands between her legs, and she wraps them around his back to pull him closer.

“Jesus, Peter, is that your spidey sense tingling or are you just happy to see me?” MJ pulls back and laughs, as his phone buzzes in his pocket against her leg.

“Damn it,” Peter groans, pulling his phone from his pocket. “It’s Aunt May.”

“Hello?” He picks it up, and MJ presses her forehead to his shoulder, sighing. “Okay, I’ll be right out. Love you, too. Bye.”

“Right out where?” MJ asks, as Peter picks her up off the table.

“May’s outside with a ton of food and needs help,” Peter laughs at MJ’s disappointment, kissing her on the forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

“I love May, but goddamn she has bad timing,” MJ sighs, sitting down in the chair he was in. “Well? Are you really going to waste a chance to show off your Spidey strength?”

“Shut up,” he laughs, then makes a run for the door to help May.

When he comes back, MJ’s setting the table and smiling up at them.

“Oh, MJ, you didn’t have to do that,” May laughs breathlessly, setting her share of the bags down on the table. Peter sets his down next to them, pulling the styrofoam to-go plates from the plastic bags and setting them on the table.

“No problem,” MJ shrugs it off, giving a small smile. “Do you need me to grab some drinks?”

“That would be _so_ helpful. I’ll take some wine, but the rest of you can just have some sodas.” May tells her, scrambling around the apartment to grab forks, and to turn on the christmas music in the living room. “When is Ned and Betty getting here again, Peter?”

“Seven, so it should be any time now,” Peter tells her, now opening all of the plates and containers sitting on the table that are full of chinese food.

Just then, they hear a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it,” MJ chimes in, secretly feeling Peter up on her way past him with a devious smirk on her face. He laughs, shaking his head.

“Hey, MJ,” Peter hears Ned tell her cheerfully at the door, greeting her.

“Hey loser and Betty,” MJ replies, and Peter smiles from the other room. “Classy sweaters. Peter’s getting food ready and May is finishing up with the Christmas decorations somewhere. Come on in.”

Peter looks up and sees MJ walking ahead, and Ned and Betty holding hands behind her.

“Hey guys,” Peter smiles happily, looking down at Ned’s blinking sweater that reads _MERRY CHRISTMAS!_ in big, bold letters across the front. Betty is wearing a matching one, which Peter wishes he could have gotten MJ to do with him. She would probably die first though.

Both Ned and Betty say their hello’s, and then Aunt May walks in, as happy as ever. MJ goes back to grabbing the drinks, and Peter goes back to preparing the food.

“Sorry about all of the Chinese food,” May sighs, tying her hair up tiredly as she takes a sip of her wine. “I tried the whole ham thing but...it didn’t work very well for me.”

“That’s fine, Miss Parker, this is great,” Betty smiles, taking a bite of her Kung Pao chicken.

“Yeah, I’m already doing a traditional Christmas dinner with both sides of my family anyway, so I kind of prefer the yearly Parker dinner anyway.” Ned smiles happily, and May tilts her head and smiles, thanking him.

“Not to be grossly mushy, but...I’m really glad to be here,” MJ forces out, after a few moments of silence while everyone ate their food. “So...thanks.”

“Don’t be silly - you’re part of the family now!” May exclaims, leaning in to give MJ a hug. That’s something MJ has definitely gotten adjusted to. “I couldn’t be happier that you’re around, MJ. I’m so proud of both of you guys for facing your feelings, because I know how hard that is for friends to do. I’m not trying to ramble or embarrass either of you, but...I’m just happy. Really, really happy.”

“Tell me about it,” Ned laughs, looking at both of them with a huge, content smile. “I couldn’t get him to stop talking about you _every single day._ It was all “MJ this, MJ that, should I ask her to help tutor me? What should I say to her? What if I stutter? Ned, will you pretend to be her so I can pretend ask you out?””

Peter kicks him under the table, blushing in embarrassment.

“Oh, really? That nervous to talk to me, huh?” MJ smiles up at him teasingly, and then squeezes his thigh under the table. He jumps a little out of surprise, and she’s just looking at him with that face she _always_ makes when she’s doing something inappropriate in public. “I just thought you were incredibly weird.”

“But in a good way, right?” Betty smiles, looking at them happily, like they’re the lead roles in her favorite romance movie.

“Um...sort of,” MJ looks at him, slowly moving her hand up his leg. But she’s smiling at him like she’s in love, and even though it’s true, she’s only doing it to distract everyone around from what’s going on under the table. “I guess I thought it was cute how nervous he was. You know, in a humiliating way, but still.”

“Shut up,” he laughs, discreetly peeling her hand off his leg and intertwining their fingers. “You know what? I’m not ashamed. I really liked you, and you didn’t exactly make it _easy_ to talk to you.”

“What exactly does that mean?” MJ narrows her eyes, and they all go, _“Ooooh.”_

“Come on, M, you were just, like….really closed off. You wouldn’t look away from your book, you wouldn’t engage in any conversation even though I was _really_ trying to get you to, and I...I really thought you hated me,” Peter laughs, swallowing thickly.

“I kind of did,” she shrugs, squeezing his hand. “But you were annoyingly persistent, so I sort of eventually had to just give in. But I’m glad you were, because if you weren’t I wouldn’t have paid any attention to you.”

“Awww,” Ned, Betty, and May say in unison, all sighing happily.

“Love you,” Peter smiles, leaning in to kiss her.

“Nooo, not in front of everyone,” she laughs, turning away. “God, Peter, stop being gross.”

Peter continues to tease her about how much he _loves_ her and wants to kiss her, and they all laugh as she pushes him away, groaning in embarrassment.

After dinner they all smush together on the couch and share a blanket, drinking hot cocoa and watching Home Alone. It’s their family (including Ned) tradition each year, and now they happily have two additions to the group.

“Alright, guys, we have to go,” Ned sighs as the credits roll, pulling Betty from the couch.

“Aw, what?” Peter replies sadly, his arm around MJ. “We haven’t even made our Christmas cookies yet!”

“I’m sorry, it’s my fault,” Betty looks at them apologetically, tucking her perfectly-straight hair behind her ear. “My mom wants me back by ten thirty.”

“It’s fine,” Peter smiles up at her, standing up to hug Ned. “I’ll call tomorrow, okay?”

“You better,” Ned laughs, and he and Betty both thank May for everything, before leaving.

“I think I have to pass on making the cookies, too, sweetie,” May sighs, yawning. “I’m extremely tired. But you and MJ can do it, right?”

Peter looks over at MJ, who smiles and nods, replying, “Yeah, sure. Nerd.”

“Well, I’m off to bed,” May hugs both Peter and MJ, before gathering all of the mugs from the coffee table and taking them to the kitchen. “I love you guys!”

“Love you too!” Peter tells her, and hears a few dishes clinking together, before shortly after hearing her bedroom door shut.

“I had...a really good night,” MJ sighs, laying her head back against the couch. Peter does the same, looking at her.

“Me too,” he smiles, looking down at their interwoven fingers. “I’m so glad you’re here. Although I didn’t exactly feel that way when your hand was on my leg during freaking _dinner._ I still can’t believe you did that, MJ, seriously.”

“Don’t be so boring, Parker,” she shrugs, getting closer to him. “Sometimes I just…” she bites her lip, running her hand over his sweater as he takes in an uneven breath. “Can’t keep my hands off of you.”

“Y-Yeah?” he clears his throat, trying to act cool. The truth is, though, that she still makes him nervous.

She leans in then and kisses him, and he can still taste the chocolate on her lips as she pushes her fingers through his hair, sighing.

But then she pulls away, looking at him.

“I guess we should start those cookies now, right?” She stands up, stretching.

”Screw tradition,” he breathes out, laughing as she grabs his sweater, pulling him into his room and shutting the door.

“Thank God,” she replies, walking backwards and gripping his sweater in her fists.  

They fall against his bed, laughing together as they kiss, their hands fumbling around each other’s bodies.

“As much as I _love_ this sweater…” MJ states breathlessly, pulling it off of him. Then she sighs. “Really? The suit? I was expecting some abs. That was a major let down.”

“I know, I just...like to be prepared,” he laughs, his hair an untamed mess of curls and hers the same. “Just in case.”

“I have a question,” she pulls back, her fingers twisting aimlessly around his sweater in her hands.

“Um...okay,” he nods, suddenly curious. “Go ahead.”

“Did you really practice talking to me with Ned?” She looks at him, smiling teasingly.

“Actually, it’s worse,” he blushes, laughing a little. “Not only did I practice with Ned, but...I practiced with May, too.”

“What?! God, I would have paid so much to see that,” MJ laughs, trying to picture it. “You’re such a dork.”

“I was just so nervous, you know? It was embarrassing, yeah, but it was worth it. I just wanted to have at least _one_ successful conversation with you, and I got it. And many more because of it.” He looks at her, and she rolls her eyes with a laugh like she always does when he looks at her like _that._ Like he’s completely in love with her.

“Loser,” She smiles at him, lightly punching his arm playfully.

“Hey, _you’re_ the one _dating_ the loser,” he raises an eyebrow, pulling her in and kissing her. She laughs against his lips, kissing him back.

“At least I got a hot one,” she replies against his mouth, and he smiles, pulling her on top of him.

And then they hear police sirens.

“Shit,” MJ mutters under her breath in a sigh, getting off of him. They both know it means he has to go.

“I’m so sorry, MJ,” he tells her, standing up and tugging at his belt so he can slide his pants off. She’s sitting on his bed, watching him with a half smile. “I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“Just be safe, okay, Parker?” She sighs, and he reaches down to dig back through his pockets to find his mask.

“Why? Worried about me?” He jokes, looking up at her with a laugh.

“I always am,” she nods, seriously.

“I’ll be fine, Em, I’m always careful,” he assures her, giving her one hurried forehead kiss before pulling his mask on.

He climbs the wall and hangs from the ceiling, slowly peeling his bedroom window open as quietly as he can so he doesn’t wake May. Cold December air washes in instantly, sending chills across his skin. He’s about to crawl out of the window when he hears, “wait.”

He turns around to face MJ, still upside down as he hangs from the ceiling. He hears the sirens blaring from nearby.

“What’s up?” He whispers, looking at an upside-down MJ who is walking towards him.

She reaches him then, setting her hands on either side of his face with a sigh. Then she reaches up, her fingers grasping at the edge of his mask, before she pulls it back to almost the tip of his nose. She looks at him for a moment, before leaning in and pressing her lips softly against his. It’s a slow, gentle kiss, but his heart starts racing anyway.

She pulls away soon after, knowing his rush to go. She tugs the mask back over his mouth, smiling at him.

“I love you, Peter Parker,” she rubs her thumb against the part of his mask where his cheek is, before letting go. “Go get ‘em.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it! Thank you guys so, so, so much for all of your support through this!! I'm sad it's the end!


	37. New Work

I'm not sure if anyone still follows this story or anything, but I know a lot of you wanted me to make a new one, and I finally have! (Sorry for the long wait if you were one of those people.) Anyway, it's up on my account [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14050938/chapters/32365686) if you want to check it out :) As always, thank you for all of your support!


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